"Why should I talk to him?"
"To get the information you want," she states nonchalantly. "It's very interesting why he changed his life. If I were you I'd definitely talk to him about it."
"My parents would freak," I snap.
"Then face your parents."
"Face them?" I ask with disbelief.
She stares steadily into me. "Zuria, if you confront what scares you then you may have a good shot at happiness in life."
"My parents don't scare me," I say indignantly.
"Not having their approval does. Sometimes in life you have to face disapproval to prove a point, to make things right for yourself."
I nod solemnly. Crazy Aunt Letty, unfortunately, always has a point.
"Now, enough of this serious talk and let's eat," she commands. I breathe a sigh of relief. For now, I'll put Benjamin away in my pocket.
Walking home, I try not to dwell too much on what Aunt Letty had told me about Benjamin. But it's impossible for the questions not to clash in my head.
Why was he looking at my picture?
Did he really think I looked pretty in it?
Why had he mentioned his nickname for me?
And all this time I didn't think he knew I was alive. All this time I thought he had forgotten our special friendship when we were kids.
What does this all mean?
And why is he suddenly changing his whole life?
Why hadn't Aunt Letty told me the reason for it?
Why?!!!
"Hi, Zuria."
I turn to find Benjamin greeting me.
Chapter 6
Benjamin—beautiful Benjamin! My love—Benjamin! He's standing next to me. He must've been coming back from Peebo's house which is on the next block.
THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!!!
It's my treacherous heart!
"Zuria, are you okay?" he asks with concern.
We're at the front of my house, and I do the most idiotic thing. I swiftly make a right turn and rush to my home without acknowledging him. When I get in the door, I start inhaling air again.
Breathing hard, I can't believe what I just did. I can't believe my rudeness. I can't believe I just left Benjamin standing outside of my house with a huge question mark on his face.
I'm pathetic.
I'm an idiot.
I'm so not Katniss Everdeen but a nimrod times twelve.
My great grandmother, my mom's grandmother, had been a combat soldier in Mexico's revolution of 1910. She had dressed like a man to do so. That's how brave she was. Why hadn't I inherited even a little of her warrior bravery?
"Are you okay, Zuria?" my mother asks with concern.
"I'm fine," I manage to get out.
"You're practically hyperventilating."
"I'm fine," I repeat.
"If you say so," she says, letting it go but still concerned. "Go upstairs and wash up for dinner."
"I already ate some chiles rellenos at Aunt Letty's house."
She shakes her head. "You know that your dad and I like a family dinner, so you wash up anyway and be with us."
"Yes, Mom."
Going to my room, I immediately peek outside my window. Benjamin had left. He'd probably gone to his house. After washing up in my bathroom, I go downstairs. My parents and sisters are already seated.
"It sure took you long enough," snickers Carina.
"Yeah, Meanie Weenie," Casandra chortles. The twins are at the awkward age of thirteen, so I don't take anything that comes out of their mouths or their attitudes personally.
"No name calling," my mother chides. The twins grimace. They’re fraternal and not identical, but they still look a lot like each other with sandy hair and greenish eyes. I look nothing like them with dark-brown hair and eyes.
"How's my beautiful daughter?" my dad gushes at me.
"Good. How was work?" I question.
"Just great!" My dad is one of those extreme positive thinkers who usually manages to see the world through rose tinted glasses. "I got a pretty good contract today. New backyard—here we come!"
Dad has been wanting to have extensive landscaping done in our sizeable backyard for the longest time. I guess his dream is very close to coming true.
"Awesome, Dad," the girls say in unison. Dad had promised the twins a huge fountain to soak their feet.
"Yeah, Dad, that's pretty great," I join in.
"Nothing but the best for my family," he declares.
"Dad," starts Casandra and I watch her closely. I know when she's about to ask for something. "Could we have some more money for clothes?" The we she referred to was Carina and herself.
"Of course, Cassie! It wouldn't do for my family to be in rags."
I let out a heavy groan. "No, Dad, don't give them money for clothes."
"Why not, Zuria?" my dad asks with puzzlement.
"She's being a meanie weenie witch as usual," exclaims Casandra.
"What did I say about name calling?" my mom interjects.
"They've got all the clothes they need," I explain. "We went to the mall last week."
"But we need some more stuff," wails Carina.
"If they need some more clothes..." my dad murmurs.
"Dad, you have to stop spoiling them."
"You think I spoil them?" my dad asks with hurt in his voice.
"Yes, Dad, you do. In fact, you spoil all of us."
"It's only because I love my family so much and your mom and I were so poor when we were kids. I don't want my children to go through what we did," he mentions.
"I know, Dad, but it's not good for the twins to get spoiled."
Dad lets out a deep breath. "Okay, Zuria. You're probably right."
"I am," I say confidently as the twins mad-dog me. Their angry eyes bore into me.
My mom smiles at me. "There's a good reason why Leticia says you're so level headed and smart."
I smile at my mother. Compliments are great.
After dad says grace, we start passing one another the platters of beef tacos, rice, and pinto beans and start serving ourselves. I realize I'm hungry. I hadn't eaten that much at Aunt Letty's house due to the shock of what she had told me about Benjamin.
"M-m-m," my dad says. "This is absolutely delicious." He says that every day no matter what my mother cooks. Sometimes she tries a new recipe and messes it up, but dad says it's mouthwatering anyway.
"Yeah, Mom. It's really good," Carina chimes in. Tacos are her favorite food. Casandra and I concur with dad and Carina.
"What special ingredient did you put in here?" Dad asks.
"Lettuce and tomatoes," my mom informs.
"Well, you've got an amazing touch for cooking. How lucky am I that you decided to marry this poor slob?"
"I love you too, honey," my mother says, grinning.
These are my parents. Real lovey dovey towards each other but with us too. My sisters and I are very, very, fortunate.
The next day I'm in Social Studies sweating bullets when Benjamin steps in with Peebo. I force myself not to swoon like the pathetic schoolgirl I am.
"Did you give your Crazy Aunt Letty my message?" asks Peebo, sitting down. Benjamin had already plopped down on the seat in front of him—the one next to mine.
"Yeah, I gave it to her. She was very happy."
"You know I'd do anything for her, right? She's so cool," Peebo asserts.
"She thinks you're awesome too."
He grins enormously. "That's good to know."
"Zuria, sorry for scaring you at your house," Benjamin states, gazing at me.
Uh-oh. I lose all speech again.
Chapter 7
"Zuria, are you okay?" Benjamin asks, his hazel eyes on me.
How can I be with your hot self staring at me?
I clear my throat, finding my voice. "Fine," I mumble.
"I just wanted to say sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have talked to you in front of our houses
with the way our parents feel about each other."
I nod. "Yeah."
"You didn't get in trouble, did you?"
I try not gazing into his eyes, not looking at his gorgeous face. "No, no one at my house saw you talking to me. What about you? Did you get in trouble?"
"Same with me."
"Good."
Ms. Brizz starts the class. Our eyes automatically shift to the front as she starts discussing geography. It's the first topic we'll be studying since Ms. Brizz says that where people live affects everything about them. Interesting. Ms. Brizz looks cool as usual with her indigenous wardrobe of cotton browns with turquoise jewelry and moccasins. Her long, black, straight hair flows past her waist.
For the whole class period, I'm painfully aware of Benjamin's every breath. Unfortunately, I can see him from my peripheral vision. My heart wants to jump out of my chest! Pathetic but honest. There are other guys at the school considered better looking than him, but it's always been just Benjamin for me. He still hasn't shaven the stubble from his face or cut his hair. He's still dressing casually. I'm getting more and more curious as to the change in him. The coach has tried to talk to him about joining the basketball team again but he refused to do it
Why won't Aunt Letty tell me what's going on with him?
After school, Suzy wants Lorena and me to meet at her house. She's got something very important to discuss with us. As I move past Benjamin's home, my eyes automatically shift to his window.
Reward—he's working on his laptop in front of his window!
I wince when I think about the whole summer without the comfort of his presence being next door to me. My heart is so happy now!
Suddenly, he looks up from his laptop and catches me gazing at him. It's such a surprise that I don't shift my eyes away like I should. Staring into his face for a few seconds, I start tearing my sight away when his hand goes above his head, and he waves at me. Forcing myself to get out of my frozen state, I wave back at him. Then I shift my eyes away and rush to Suzy's house.
Feeling his sight stay steadily on me, I flush a bright pink. That's the hue I become when I'm really embarrassed.
Pressing Suzy's doorbell, I start to breath again. I'm still shaking uncontrollably, but I'm starting to steady myself. Lorena opens the door and stares at me oddly.
"What happened to you?" she asks with curiosity.
"What do you mean?"
Her eyes sweep over me with a quizzical expression. "You look strange."
"A weird dog was chasing me," I blurt. I hate lying, but I don't see that I have a choice. There is no way I'm going to tell anyone about my love for Benjamin. It's bad enough that my Aunt Letty had guessed my deepest secret.
"Oh my gosh!" she says, ushering me in. "Did it try to bite you?"
"Er—no, it just chased me, but it still scared me," I mumble.
"I should say so."
Suzy's parents haven't gotten home from work, so we have the house to ourselves. Still, out of habit, the three of us meet in Suzy's bedroom.
"Thanks for getting the door, Lorena," Suzy says as we enter her room. "I needed to get our snacks ready."
On her desk, she has a tray full of sliced apples, carrots, and cauliflower with some kind of a dip in the middle. I'm puzzled to say the least. Usually, we have potato chips and mini-chocolate bars as a snack.
She sees my bewildered eyes and smiles. "I'm glad you noticed. I've been thinking that we should eat healthier, don't you think?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I guess it's good to eat healthy."
"Well, dig in." She grabs a carrot stick and dips it in the white dip.
Lorena and I do the same. It's kinda tasteless but actually not that bad.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, a lot," Suzy states. I'm not sure I like the tone of her voice. Sometimes Suzy gets pretty bossy. "The three of us should go on a diet."
"What?" I blurt.
"We should improve ourselves."
"Improve ourselves?" I question, grimacing at her insinuation that I need to lose weight. I'm a medium size, and while I know that Hollywood is on this idiotic kick to be starvation skinny, I make it a point not to be impressed with what's harmful. Aunt Letty has always drilled it in to me not to jump off a bridge just because someone else does it. Don't follow stupidity.
"I'm not getting on a diet," I inform her firmly.
"Zuria," she says, beaming me a smile, "I'm not saying we're fat or anything like that."
She and Lorena are smaller than I am. "Then what are you saying?"
"We'd look better than we already do if we lost some weight. That's all I'm saying."
I groan. "I've lived on the border all my life. So have the both of you. We can look at Juarez from the freeway and see people in cardboard houses. We can see people really struggling to eat every day. I fail to see how the starved appearance is attractive. It looks just sad to me."
Suzy rolls her eyes. "Zuria," she blurts in frustration, "you've been hanging out with your Crazy Aunt Letty too much. You know they call her crazy for a reason."
My face scrunches up in fury. No one insults my aunt. No one! "They call her crazy because she's an original!" I snap. "If more people would be crazy like her, we'd live in a much better world!"
"Sorry, sorry," she rushes, her face in an apology. "I didn't mean to insult her."
"Let's calm down," Lorena chimes in.
"I'm really sorry, Zuria. Will you take my apology?"
"Okay," I grumble.
"And as for the diet," Suzy says, "I'm just making a suggestion. That's all. If the both of you don't want to diet then don't. I'll go at it on my own."
"Okay," I state.
"I just want to look my best," she tells Lorena and me.
"I'll diet too," Lorena says.
"Not me," I grumble.
"Let's talk about something else, shall we?" asks Suzy. My guess is that she's trying to dispel some of the tension still in the air.
"What about?" asks Lorena.
Suzy's face goes into full gossip mode. "Chantilly and Benjamin."
My ears perk up. "What about them?" I ask casually even though my insides start swirling in a mega-tornado.
"Are they back together?" asks Lorena.
"I hear that Chantilly asked to speak to him privately."
"So they're back together," Lorena comments happily. "I knew that he'd realize that he belonged with Chantilly."
Chapter 8
Benjamin and Chantilly back together again? My heart is really beating hard at this moment. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
"Well, Chantilly told Benjamin that she didn't care that he had quit the basketball team and had changed his look," states Suzy. "She said she loves him no matter what."
Lorena sighs deeply. "How very romantic!"
"But you know what he said?"
"What?" I blurt.
"He told her that their relationship was over."
"How could he hurt poor Chantilly like that?!" snaps Lorena.
"I don't understand it at all," grumbles Suzy. "How could he dump her? For sure, he's got to realize that no other girl in school can compare to her."
"Yeah, what's he thinking?" growls Lorena. "Maybe he got some kind of a strange disease that eats his brain while he was away from here."
"Does anyone know where he and his parents went for the summer?" I interject.
Suzy shrugs her shoulders. "I haven't heard anything."
"Does he know what kind of a jerk he's become?" asks Lorena.
Suzy shakes her head vehemently. "Big time jerk!"
I feel the need to defend him. "Why is he a jerk for wanting out of a relationship?"
Suzy and Lorena stare at me in disbelief and are speechless.
"I mean," I continue, "he'd be a jerk if he cheated on her. Does he have another girlfriend he was seeing this summer?"
"Not that we know about," Suzy
states, still clearly displeased with the turn in the conversation.
"He'd be a jerk if he was rude and ugly to Chantilly, but I haven't seen it."
"Breaking up with her is very ugly," Lorena blurts.
"Staying with someone you don't want to be with is even uglier. It's not good for either of them. People have to move on sometimes." This is another one of my Aunt Letty's pearls of wisdom.
Suzy and Lorena keep eyeing me in cold disbelief. I eye them back, standing my ground.
"Benjamin can't stay with Chantilly just to make the school happy," I retort. "He can't stay with her just because of those students who think they make an awesome couple."
"Zuria," blurts Lorena, "I just can't believe you don't want Benjamin and Chantilly back together again!"
"I know he's back on the market," states Suzy, "but he'd never go out with any of us in a million years."
"I know that," I snap. "I'm not trying to date him! I'm just trying to be fair about him."
"What about being fair to Chantilly?" challenges Suzy.
I eye her back. I'm not backing down. "It's funny how much you're defending her when none of us really likes her. She's such a snob."
"I don't have to like her to feel bad about what happened to her," Suzy retorts.
I eye her. "You want her to be with someone who doesn't feel about her the way she feels about him?"
Suzy looks away. "Well, no but..."
"But what?" I keep challenging her.
"All I'm saying is that Benjamin should be in love with Chantilly," she states firmly.
"Why should he?" I murmur. "You can't tell your heart who to love."
I should know. I love the wrong person.
"I guess you’re right," Suzy grumbles.
"I'm tired of arguing. Can we talk about something else?" Lorena asks.
"That's a good idea," Suzy declares, her face brightening up.
"Actually," I say, "I don't mean to be a party pooper, but it's getting late, and I have to get home to have dinner with the family."
Lorena checks her watch. "Oh my! I didn't know it was this late. I've got to get home too."
When Lorena and I step out of Suzy's house, I grab her arm before she starts walking to her home in the opposite direction of where I'm going. "Wait," I tell her.
"What's up?" she asks with curiosity.
"Do you really want to get on a diet?" I murmur.
She shrugs. "Seems like a good idea."
"Is it your idea or Suzy's?" I ask delicately.
"Suzy is just trying to make us popular," she snaps defensively. "What's wrong with that?"