"Can you see what we're trying to save you from?" asks Suzy.
"What are you talking about?!" I snap.
Suzy sighs with exasperation. "Benjamin found out about Chantilly's little hiccup and is trying to get back at her by using you," Suzy announces crisply. "It's obvious."
"Yes, obvious," Lorena murmurs.
"Lorena," I say with impatience, "can you stop being Suzy's shadow?!"
Lorena stares at me with hurt eyes.
"We're only trying to be good friends to you, Zuria! That's all!" Suzy snaps.
"Well, I don't appreciate you insulting me!"
Suzy's eyes grow wide with an indignant glare. "We're not insulting you!"
"I don't appreciate you telling me that Benjamin can't possibly prefer me to Chantilly!" I roar.
Suzy's face flushes. She knows she screwed up. "I was only trying to say that Benjamin must prefer Chantilly because they've been together for a while," she says quietly. Of course, she's trying to cover up her insult, but I'm not falling for it.
My eyes bore into hers. "Look, regardless of whether you think I'm good enough for Benjamin or not, he's now with me. Accept it!"
"But, Zuria—" Suzy starts to say, but I cut off her poison.
"But nothing! Either you accept me being with Benjamin or you don't."
"Don't you care that he could be using you to get back at Chantilly?" Suzy asks.
"He's not."
"How can you be so sure?" questions Suzy, her right hand on her hip.
"I'm sure," I declare.
"But, Zuria—"
"I'm with Benjamin," I state, between my teeth. "Do you accept it or not?"
"Would it matter if we don't?' announces Suzy.
"No," I reply firmly.
"You'd still go out with him even if it could mess up your best friends?" questions Suzy with a hurt voice.
"Mess you up?—what are you talking about?"
"Cheerleading," states Suzy matter-of-factly.
"Cheerleading?" I question incredulously.
"Get out of the bubble you're in, Zuria, and see what you're doing to those around you," Suzy grumbles.
"Stop talking in puzzles and say what you mean," I declare.
Suzy sighs with exasperation. "Chantilly knows we're best friends. Do you honestly think she's going to let us on the cheerleading squad when she finds out you're dating her boyfriend?"
So this is what it's been all about! About Suzy and Lorena getting chosen for cheerleaders. All the compassion for Chantilly had been for that ultimate purpose. I'm really disappointed with my friends.
"Benjamin isn't Chantilly's boyfriend anymore," I state. "He's mine."
"Why's he hiding you?" Suzy challenges.
"We had our reasons, but we're not hiding anymore," I announce. "Just watch us on Monday."
"But what about Chantilly and the cheerleading squad?" murmurs Lorena, finally speaking up. She had been staring at us like an audience watching a ping pong match.
"If she doesn't choose you just because I'm dating Benjamin then she'd be very wrong. Heck!—I'm not even the one trying out."
"You're being very selfish, Zuria," blurts Suzy.
My eyebrows shoot up. "Excuse me?"
"You know how important it is for Lorena and me to get on the cheerleading squad. How could you do this to us?" she snaps.
"How about how important Benjamin is to me?—and that you're the ones being selfish by telling me to give him up?"
Suzy stares at me with surprise. She hadn't thought of that angle.
"Don't try to twist things," Suzy retorts.
My eyes bore into hers. "I'm not twisting things—you are."
"Well then, let me make everything very clear to you," she announces, "you need to pick between Benjamin and your best friends." Her eyes challenge me with flaming arrows smoldering in red heat.
Chapter 24
"You're asking me to pick?!" I burst incredulously. "Really?"
"It's the only way to have you come to your senses," Suzy states matter-of-factly.
I'm furious at her for trying to manipulate me. She's not the friend I thought she was if she's asking such a thing of me. "If that's the way you want it then I pick Benjamin."
Her mouth flies wide open along with Lorena's. "You really pick Benjamin over us?!!" she questions with disbelief.
I don't like being put in a corner," I announce.
"I thought we were best friends but I was wrong about you," Suzy snaps. "You have no loyalty,"
"I could say the same of you," I return.
"I'm not going to stay anymore and listen to this," declares Suzy. "Let's go, Lorena. We'll go to my house and try to recover."
"Bye," I simply say.
As Suzy opens the door to my bedroom, she turns to me. "You'll live to regret this when Benjamin dumps you to go back to Chantilly."
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I growl. "That's why we can't be friends anymore."
When the door shuts behind them, I rush to my bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I tell myself that I have to pull myself together. This whole situation has really thrown me off. I knew that things would get sticky with Suzy and Lorena when I told them about Benjamin, but I thought it would blow over. I certainly never expected them to make me choose.
As I step out of my bedroom, Benjamin is waiting outside the door. I'm so happy to see him that I fling myself into his arms. He hugs me tightly.
"Everything okay?" he asks.
I shake my head. Speaking is difficult with my throat constricting.
"I figured something was messed up when Suzy and Lorena flew downstairs and told me to get my head straight."
"They told you that?" I ask, finally able to loosen my throat enough to ask him.
"Yeah. I guess things didn't go well with you and them."
"No."
"That sucks."
"Benjamin," I murmur. I have to clear something up in my own head. "Did you know that Chantilly had cheated on you this summer with Gustavo Morales?"
"What?" he asks, surprised.
"Chantilly cheated on you with Gustavo," I murmur.
"I had no idea," he states, his face bewildered.
"Suzy and Lorena seem to think that you're getting back at Chantilly by going out with me," I blurt.
He frowns. "What do you think, Zuria?" He takes in a breath.
I think you're with me because you want to be and not for anything else."
He smiles at me. "Thank you or not believing their crap—and for believing in me."
I smile back at him. I have no doubts whatsoever in my having chosen him over the two people who I had thought were my best friends. His tender kiss only serves to confirm the rightness in my decision. Besides, his lips make me feel a lot, a whole lot, better.
The next day is Sunday, and one more day till the bomb of my relationship with Benjamin explodes at school. I decide I need to pay my Aunt Letty a visit. This thing that happened with Suzy and Lorena has me really freaked out.
My favorite aunt listens carefully as I tell her the story of what happened yesterday. Her calm and attentive face gives no indication of what she's thinking.
"Do you think it was bad for me to choose my boyfriend over my best friends?" I ask.
"You're having doubts?"
I shake my head. "No, not really. I just don't want to be one of those girls who forgets everyone and everything around her because of a guy."
"This is a completely different situation."
I exhale deeply. "I thought so."
"You're not mistreating or ignoring your friends because of Benjamin."
"Of course not."
"I'd go as far as to say that your decision yesterday had actually very little to do with Benjamin, and I'm proud of you."
"Proud of me?"
She nods. "Suzy and Lorena were trying to manipulate you for their own purposes, and you stood your ground. Well done! There ar
e a lot of people who would fold under such pressure."
"I don't like to be squeezed into a corner," I growl.
"Zuria, it's important to do the right thing even if you have to go up against a whole bunch of people."
"I'll remember that when I'm in school tomorrow."
"And don't cave in to Suzy and Lorena."
"We were best friends for such a long time."
"Yeah, but when they gave you that ultimatum, they stopped being your friends."
I nod solemnly. "That's how it felt when they were telling me to choose between Benjamin and them."
"Let me tell you something I want you to always to remember."
"Tell me," I say anxiously. Her advice is always awesome and never the hit-you-over-the-head kind.
"You’re on your very own team—team Zuria. It’s your space—your place in the world. Even though you’re an individual in it, you’re also responsible for others. Because this is your team, you decide who plays on it. You decide if your teammates are playing fair, or if they’re just out for themselves. You have a right to bounce anybody off because it’s your team. If someone on it is playing against you, you have the right and responsibility to yourself to show them the door. Off the team! Even though you’re sometimes forced to play in games you don’t want to play, your space is yours and you don’t have to let anyone in your thoughts or your self-esteem. Life is too short to be around those who damage us. Letting go of bad situations, harmful advice, revenge fantasies, and insecurities are some of the hardest lessons you’ll ever have to learn. Having said this, don’t do away with those persons trying to help you by telling you the truth. Don’t just have yes people on your team, or it’s as bad as having instigators on it. Learn to tell the difference between those who love you and want to help and those who are envious and want to do you damage. Love yourself enough to know the difference. Love will deaden the impulse to pull others to your insecurities. It’ll lift others to the love you feel for yourself and spread like wildfire. Then you’ll reach real happiness."
Wow! My Aunt Letty sure knows her stuff.
Chapter 25
Benjamin and I decide to carpool to school. There's no use taking two cars when we live next door to each other and want to be together. We flip a coin, and I win the toss with a heads up, so I'll drive us to school the first week.
"Nervous?" he asks as we're nearing school.
"Aren't you?"
"No."
I quickly glance at him from the driver's seat. He certainly looks calm and carefree.
"I just hate the idea of people gossiping about us," I state.
"It's really nobody's business that we're together," he declares.
I sigh. "I know." After that talk yesterday with my Aunt Letty, I have it pretty straight about my team and if the audience in the bleachers doesn't want to cheer me on then so be it. I'm playing my game the best I can.
When we arrive at school and step out of my car, Benjamin holds my hand as if to connect us. And...well...the reaction is unfortunately predictable. You know that part in Twilight when Bella and Edward just start dating and arrive to school with everyone staring at them? That's pretty much the same scenario with Benjamin and me. Mouths are dropping all over the place. Gasps are reverberating in the air. Disbelief grinds into the atmosphere.
Suzy and Lorena are already at school and roll their eyes when they see us. Suzy grimaces as she glares at us. Off the team—my team, I grumble to myself, and then I glare back at her to show her she doesn't intimidate me. She quickly shifts her eyes. Apparently, I intimidate her.
As our first class comes up, Benjamin and I have to separate but agree to meet up for lunch. During my first period, whispers abound all around me but no one is brave enough to come up to me and ask about Benjamin. I have both Suzy and Lorena for second period World History. They keep pointing their fingers at me and whispering to one another. Finally, I have enough.
"If you want to say something to me then say it in front of my face," I growl when the teacher leaves the room for a few moments.
"We don't talk to traitors," states Suzy.
"No, we don't," Lorena chimes in.
"You're the traitors," I state, glaring at them. My sight bores into them with fierce arrows.
They shift their eyes and shut up. During the rest of the period, I occasionally throw ugly glances at them, and they continue to behave. I hate having to resort to such things, but I'm not going to sit the whole hour with them bullying me.
Lunch finally arrives and I'm immensely relieved to see a smiling Benjamin and a friendly Peebo. We pick our food, hamburgers, and sit at a round table by ourselves. It's irritating how everybody's eyes seem to be on us, but Benjamin does a great job of ignoring them and giving me his full attention.
"You've got to be kidding!" snaps Chantilly, who had surprised us by walking up to us. "Is this who you replaced me with?!" She twists her face at me. The whole cafeteria turns graveyard quiet. There are no teachers or adults anywhere in sight. Just students.
Benjamin furiously glares at her. "Don't even go there, Chantilly," he warns, growling.
"Really, Benjamin! You could've at least replaced me with someone worth it. Even Daniela Lopez would've been better than this dweeb."
Furious, I’m about to stand up when Benjamin puts his hand on my shoulder as if to tell me to let him handle this. He pushes to his feet to face her eye to eye even though he's much taller than her. "Really, Chantilly," he says, imitating her nasal voice, "having to insult someone just because they make you feel insecure is way beneath you."
"Way beneath you," chortles Peebo.
Chantilly turns bright red. "She doesn't—"
"Of course she does!" Benjamin snaps. "Zuria is much smarter and prettier than you. Of course you're freaked out!"
Her face is crestfallen. Jeers towards her from students who've always hated her superior attitude reverberate from the walls. "I'm not—" she starts.
"Zuria is the whole package," sniffs Peebo, "unlike you. I've never liked you and have always wondered what my friend was doing with you. I'm glad he's come to his senses."
I never knew that Peebo didn't care for Chantilly. But in a way, it makes sense. Come to think of it, he never sat with them during lunch the way he sits with Benjamin and me.
"I never liked you either!" snaps Chantilly.
"Awwww," Peebo ridicules sarcastically, "that hurts my feelings."
She glares at him. "You geek!"
"It's better to be a geek than a cold hearted witch like you," Peebo states matter-of-factly.
It's obvious that Chantilly doesn't know how to handle him, so she turns back to Benjamin. "Leaving me is the worst mistake you've ever made."
Benjamin rolls his eyes. "Chantilly, why don't you stop while you have a tiny bit of dignity left? You're embarrassing yourself," he mumbles.
"You're the one embarrassing yourself going out with this thing here," she retorts, pointing at me. It's hard to keep quiet but Benjamin keeps his hand on my arm, silently telling me to please let him handle this.
His eyes sit on Chantilly with disgust. "I was embarrassing myself going out with you," he snaps.
"Yeah, you were," Peebo snickers.
"But I've come to my senses like Peebo said."
Peebo nods. "Yeah, you have,"
Chantilly shakes her head. "What do you see in her?" she questions with a whiny voice.
"For your information, Zuria is a much better girlfriend than you would ever dream of being," Benjamin declares. "She'd never cheat on me with another guy,"
"Had a good time with Gustavo Morales this summer, Chantilly?" asks Peebo.
Guffaws sound throughout the cafeteria. Many students are ridiculing Chantilly.
"Cheater Chantilly! Cheater Chantilly!" starts resonating throughout the room..
Chantilly stares around her with horror in her eyes. She's not used to b
eing the butt of jokes.
"Leave Zuria and me alone, Chantilly," demands Benjamin. "You've got Gustavo."
Chantilly rushes out of the cafeteria, leaving her tray of food intact on the table with her friends. Benjamin sits down again and smiles at me as if to tell me that everything's going to be all right. The cafeteria soon starts buzzing again.
"Have the two of you done your Social Studies project yet?" asks Peebo. I'm so grateful for the change in subject.
It's evening. I'm in my bedroom breathing deep breaths of relief at having gotten through the day. I check my Facebook.
Eeeeeek! OMG! The cyberbullying begins.
Chapter 26
You're ugly, fat, and ridiculous.
What makes you think you're good enough for Benjamin?
He just feels sorry for you.
Ha, ha! All the school is laughing at you!
You're ugly, ugly, ugly!
Ha! Ha!
You're ridiculous like a clown!
You'll pay for everything you've done!
Benjamin is only using you!
How stupid can you be?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
UGLY!
MEGA-UGLY!
These horrible anonymous messages come at me on my Facebook and are texted to my phone. Whoever is doing it doesn't have the guts to put their name on it. I'm furious of course and if they think they can intimidate me just like that, they've got another thing coming.
I decide not to tell anybody and ignore it. But the following days, the messages keep coming steadily. I'm starting to feel paranoid as I ask myself who is sending them. I'm fairly sure it's Chantilly but what if more people are involved?
I start wondering about laughing students as I pass them in the hallways. Are they laughing at me? I know that Chantilly and her friends are, but is everyone else too? Benjamin starts noticing something strange in my behavior.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
I shake my head. "Nothing," I mumble.
He eyes me carefully. "If Chantilly is being a jerk don't let her bother you."
"Okay."
But it all starts to get to me. School becomes a torture with me wondering who's doing this to me. I get rid of my Facebook account, feeling much better when I do. I also convince my parents to let me change my cell number. They wonder why, but I still don't tell them the real reason. I'm embarrassed about what's happening to me. I give my parents a lame excuse, telling them I need to change the number because people keep calling it by mistake, that a store must be using a similar number. I'm just thrilled they buy it.