Page 22
Author: Lisa De Jong
“I’m fine. I just needed to freshen up,” I replied, offering my best smile. Dane glared at Nolan before sitting back in his seat. I’d lost my appetite completely, but I sat down and made myself take one bite of everything. I didn’t want to seem rude because his mother has obviously spent a lot of time preparing it.
“So, what have you been up to, Nolan?” Janet asked.
“Just working and going to school. That reminds me, Mom, I need you to put some money in my account for school this term. ”
Dane dropped his fork on his plate. “You don’t work and I know you haven’t stepped inside a school for almost two years. Stop the bullshit. ” I looked over at Dane’s mom who just sat there with a blank expression on her face. Maybe she had spent so many years out of her mom role that she was trying to make it up by feeding her son’s habit. I wondered how it would feel if your children were young one day and the next time you could really see things clearly, they were adults, all grown with their own issues.
“Oh, is that the game you want to play big brother? Fine. ” Nolan focused his eyes back on me. “Did Dane tell you he f**ked half the girls in high school? What makes you think you’re so special?” His eyes burned through me and I felt my throat close. This wasn’t what I expected when I came here tonight. He eyed me quietly before his lips turned up. “Oh, I get it, you haven’t f**ked him yet. That’s why you’re here. You’re one of those chicks who want everything. Well, let me tell you, sweetheart, this ass can’t give you that. If it doesn’t work out, I’m single. ” The look on his face made me cringe, but his words made my chest burn with anger. When I looked up, Dane was standing beside my chair, offering me his hand. I grabbed it, using his body to hold me up on my wobbly knees. I didn’t know what to think anymore.
“We’re going. I’m not wasting my time here anymore,” Dane said in a controlled voice. He was done fighting.
Dane’s mom finally stood up from her chair. “Don’t go. We haven’t even had cake yet. ”
“I don’t care about the cake,” Dane said as he moved us toward the door, holding me tight to his side. As we reached the door, he turned us back around where his mom was standing in the kitchen doorway. “Mom, I know you’re trying hard to make up for all those years you weren’t around, but why don’t you focus on helping him instead of feeding his addiction? You of all people should know what it takes to break it. I’m not going to sit here for another minute and let him tear apart my girlfriend while you pretend everything is fine. Everything is not fine; it hasn’t been for thirteen years. ”
She grabbed her throat as she began to sob. “Dane, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t go. I just wanted us to have a nice family dinner. ” My heart broke for the woman who had lost her way when her daughter died.
He placed his hand on the knob. “It may be a little too late for that. Sorry, Mom, I can’t do this,” he said as we exited through the door. I didn’t remember the walk from the apartment to the car. I was in such a haze. I felt bad for Dane, but at the same time Nolan’s words cut me. Would Dane leave me as soon as I had sex with him? He wasn’t like that, was he? One hour ago, I had myself convinced that Dane was all I needed and now I was so confused.
Dane opened the passenger door and helped me in before reaching across to buckle my seatbelt. There was question in his eyes as he stared at me. I had to look away because I was scared of what I would see. Was everything his brother said true? It all brought me back to some of the things Chris said that night at the club.
“Baby, please look at me. ” I squeezed my eyes shut and silently counted to ten before looking back in his direction. “I’m so sorry. I knew this was a bad idea, but I didn’t think it would turn out like this. ”
“Can you just take me home? I’m tired and I need some time to think,” I said, taking a deep breath to hold back the tears that threatened. I felt so lost and confused. I needed time to myself.
“Fuck, I knew it was a bad idea to bring you here,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “Alex, please. Don’t let what happened in there come between us. ” He reached up to rub his thumb over my cheek.
I closed my eyes. “What Nolan said, is it true?” I opened my eyes again to see him as he answered. I needed to know the truth.
“I’m not going to lie. I’ve been with a lot of girls, but not like he said. You’re special, Alex. The other girls don’t matter to me and I can’t see anyone in my future besides you. Don’t you see that, Baby?” I wanted to cry. This whole night had been so exhausting. I hated doubt, but I wasn’t immune to it.
I took a deep breath. I knew Dane better than to let Nolan’s words get in my head. If Dane wanted only one thing from me, he wouldn’t be spending all his time getting to know me. “He just said all this stuff and, God, I’ve never heard anyone talk like that. ”
“I’m sorry, Baby. You have to trust me. I’m not like that anymore,” he said, cupping my face in his hands. I felt myself softening under his touch. He hadn’t done anything to deserve my mistrust.
I leaned into his hand. “I do trust you. Is that what all your family dinners are like?”
“If Nolan is there, they can get like that. When he doesn’t show up, they are much quieter. I promise I won’t make you go to one again. When I’ve calmed down enough to have dinner with my mom again, she can come to my place. No Nolan, I promise. ” His eyes were full of sadness. I wanted to show him that we were okay. I ran my hands through his hair before bringing his mouth to mine. When our lips finally met, I became lost in the feelings he drew out of me. His tongue moved to part my lips and I quickly gave him what he wanted, allowing him complete control. We stayed like that for several minutes, healing each other, and when he moved away I wanted more. I always wanted more with Dane.
Chapter Fourteen
Dane had a few pieces of art in a show the following Sunday and invited me to go with him. We didn’t talk about his mom or brother again. Not because I didn’t want to, but because he tended to avoid it. He seemed a little out of it all week and I knew today would lift his spirits. This was his element; the thing that made him happy. I envied him because he had nothing standing in his way. His reality was my dream.
He had to be there early so I told him I would meet him and invited Jade to come with me. There were supposed to be a few up and coming photographers at the show that she was dying to meet. It was scheduled to begin at two in the afternoon so I told her it began at one. Lying isn’t bad if it’s necessary and I wanted to be on time so I could see Dane in his element before the place was overrun with people.
“Where did you say this show was at?” she asked, trying on her third outfit.
“The Modern. ” She looked up at me, tapping her index finger on her chin. “Wear something hip, yet sophisticated. We’re not going to a nightclub, we’re going to an art show. ”
I dressed in an emerald green sweater dress with black tights and my black ankle books, but left my hair in a loose, messy knot at the top of my head. I was adapting to Dane’s philosophy of looking good without too much effort.
I wasn’t sure how many things Jade pulled out of her closet before deciding on a black velvet shift dress, but it was ridiculous. She chose a pair of black tights with some killer black heels. It was quarter to two when she finally declared that she was ready. Did I know this girl or what?
We hailed a cab and gave the driver directions to The Modern. When we arrived, an older gentleman took our coats and handed us a program. I couldn’t even begin to tell you the feelings that went through me as we entered the gallery. I put my whole heart into my work and as I glanced around, I could see the heart of others displayed on the wall. I could walk around for hours, dissecting what the artist was thinking or experiencing when the art piece was created. I could look back at every piece of art I’d ever completed and tell you what was going through my head at that moment. Major life events alway
s triggered something in me that lead me to art. I have a painting representing my first day of high school, my first kiss, my first break-up. A lot of the things in between are dark, a symbol of the girl trapped inside me who can’t get out.
Although Dane and I hadn’t talked about why or when he began to sculpt, I wondered if he did it to let out some of his feelings and frustrations over his childhood. I pictured the little boy who had lost his sister and then had to watch his family fall apart. I wished I’d known him back then so I could have been there for him. I wasn’t the type of girl who needed to save every broken man she encountered, but Dane was worth saving. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever have children, but if I did I wanted to make sure they had a better childhood than Dane and I had experienced. I may have had everything material, but I felt like I had nothing. Dane really had nothing. Every time I thought about him, I felt my chest tighten. He was everything I didn’t think I could have and somehow, he’d become everything I needed. There was a part of me that knew I would never recover if this fell apart, but what I felt now was worth it.
I walked around a little bit before I spotted Dane standing in the center of the gallery, pedestals displaying sculptures surrounding him. The moment he saw me, his face broke out in a smile that lit up the room. . . and my heart. He looked smashing in his icy blue button down tucked into charcoal dress pants.
When I reached him he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close to his chest. He kissed me right below my right ear before joining his mouth with mine. His kisses were always full of passion and yearning, but this one remained soft. He reluctantly broke away, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m glad you came. I missed you. ”
I smiled. “You saw me last night. ”
“Last night was a long time ago,” he whispered. I heard Jade clear her throat behind me. I turned around, narrowing my eyes at her. She just ruined my perfect moment.