“I helped the only way I knew how, Quill.”
“Fuck, Julius,” she said with tears flowing down the sides of her eyes.
He thrust his fingers frantically in and out of her while his thumb satisfied her clitoris. She dropped from her elbows and let go. Julius was moving inside of her before she had a chance to come down.
“I’m sorry, Quill.”
“I don’t understand all of this. Why is this happening?” she asked as Julius made love to her.
“Shhh, I’m here, baby. I’m always going to be here, and I promise I am never going anywhere again.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked as she cried a river of tears.
“I didn’t know how, Quill. I wanted to. I wanted to so many times. I was selfish. I didn’t want to lose you.”
Aquilla cried as the two of them became one, making love with more sensations than her emotions could handle. She loved him so much. She was sure of that. She would never love another man the way she loved him, but did that make it right? She hurt. Her heart bled in pain as her mind reeled and she let Julius take her, claiming her as his.
“Julius,” Quill cried beneath him.
“Hmm?” he mumbled, thrusting in and out of her.
“I love you.”
Julius kissed her lips and then the tears streaming down her face. “I love you too, Quill. It’s okay. I’m not going to be mad at you.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I can’t be with you here, baby.”
“What will happen to you? Where will you go?”
Julius kissed the tears again, tasting the salty drops on his tongue. “Don’t worry about me. I will be fine.”
Aquilla cried, not understanding her body. How could she be ready to climax when her heart was so heavy? She found satisfying relief while she cried in paralyzed, powerless pain. The anguish that she felt was nothing she had ever felt in her life, not when she lost her father, and not when she thought she lost Seri. Nothing compared to this. She was going to lose Julius.
Julius held her in his arms, neither of them speaking. There were no words. He was feeling it too. He regretted coming after her. He should have left her alone. He had worried for months over nothing. Aquilla Chavez died in a car accident when she was four. Shelby Rimmer wasn’t his to claim. She never was. She had a family that loved her. He chose to let her go the last time, this was different. The choice wasn’t his. It belonged to her.
<><><>
Aquilla didn’t look back. She couldn’t. She walked up her sidewalk to her house with tears flooding her face. She ignored the neighbor raking leaves when he asked if she was okay. She kept walking. She had to.
“Liz!” Seri called, staring out the window. She wanted to go to her. She needed to go to her, but Liz needed to go more. Quill needed Liz to go.
Liz ran to her with her own tears. She came back. She came back on her own. Breathe Liz. Breathe. Aquilla threw herself in her mother’s arms and wailed, breaking the barrier that had been between them; 14 years of buildup, 4 months of walls and animosity were released in a single embrace on the front lawn.
Manny slid his arm around Seri’s waist as she quickly wiped away her own escaping tears. Jesus. What was this family doing to her? She didn’t cry.
Manny had to head home for an early meeting, but promised to be back on the road as soon as it was over. Quill didn’t want Seri to leave. She needed her mom, but needed her friend more. She knew there would be tears. There would be lots of tears, and she felt better releasing them with Seri than her mother for whatever reason.
Liz brought her up a grilled cheese and a bowl of soup while Seri showered. She sat it on her nightstand and rubbed her back as she lay curled into a tight ball, trying to tell herself that she did the right thing. She made the right choice. Didn’t she? She didn’t know. She kept going back and forth, arguing with herself, trying to figure it all out.
Quill sat up and rubbed her face, running her fingers through her hair. She breathed in a deep breath and smiled a weak smile at her mother.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the plate with her sandwich.
“You’re welcome, Sweetie. I’m so glad you came home.”
Quill tried to keep the sob from fleeing. The lump in her throat made it impossible to swallow the bite of sandwich in her mouth. Liz took the plate and pulled her close as she cried and cried and cried. It would stop. How much could a 17 year old girl go through before she just quit? Quit caring, quit trying, and just quit breathing. That had to feel better than this. Liz didn’t speak. She only held her as she let go of the emotions, crushing her heart until Seri entered.
Liz looked up to her with tears in her own eyes and waved her hand for her to take her place. She had to get out of there. She couldn’t stand to see her daughter hurting the way she was. Seri slid in and took her place as Liz saw herself out, wiping tears. She didn’t care if Monica wasn’t her therapist. She was calling her. She needed Connor, and because Quill couldn’t have Julius, she didn’t feel like she deserved him either. That wasn’t right. Was it?
“I’m okay,” Quill finally said, pulling away and wiping her own tears with the inside of her nightshirt. “I need to get stoned, Seri,”
“Where is it?” she asked. Seri wasn’t about to give her a hard time about it. She would have probably been sloshed by now had she been in her shoes.
“In the back of my closet, the blue jacket,” she replied.
“This is a hell of a lot of money, Quill,” Seri said, holding the thick envelope in her hand. This girl was crazy. Where the hell did she get that much money?
“You can have it. I just need to get stoned,” she offered.
Seri placed it back into the jacket and retrieved the bag. She locked the door, opened the window, and twisted a joint on Quill’s desk.
“Where’d you get the money, Quill?” she asked, handing her the stick and the lighter.
“Please don’t be doing something illegal,” she begged
Quill snorted. “I snuck that from the house on Jamelia Lei,” she smiled, hitting the much needed relaxer.
“You really should be like a private investigator or something,” Seri assured her, taking the joint.
“I would probably get myself shot, like you did.”
“Good point. I think you should open a flower shop or something, maybe sell some greeting cards,” Seri smiled, dropping her arm over Quill’s shoulder. If someone had told her a year ago that she would be in love with a man and his daughter as much as she was, she would have had Monica deem her crazy.
Chapter 21
Aquilla continued against her will to go to the school that she hated. She never did figure out how to relate to the other students. She stuck to herself and, of course, Whisper and her junkyard friends. She refused any extracurricular activities, dances, pep rallies or ballgames. She did, however, take Reese, and even annoying Lil, dress shopping for a couple of the dances.
She still missed Julius like crazy, and he haunted her every waking moment. Why couldn’t she just have him there? Was he back in Spain? Was he still going by the name Mason Strong? She wondered after only three weeks of seeing him if he would move on. Would it be easier for him than it was her?
“Quill, I don’t like you hanging out at that junkyard. What do you do there?” Liz complained after their Saturday afternoon shopping trip to the grocery store.
“Nothing, we just hang out and listen to music and stuff. I’m not doing anything bad, Mom,” she assured her. She wasn’t really, just smoking a little weed here and there.
“I’m going out to eat with Connor later. How long are you going to have my car?” Liz asked, giving in. She had to. What else was she supposed to do? It wasn’t like Quill had friends knocking down the door. She didn’t want her to sit home alone, and as far as she knew, she was telling the truth. Until she had some proof to go with her suspicions, she would trust her.
“I don’t know. Why can’t he pick you up?” She really nee
ded to get her own car. She had the money; she could do it, but how would she explain that?
“I suppose he can, but I still want to know what time you’re going to be home.”
“I don’t know. I am almost 18, remember? And it’s Saturday night.”
“You’re not drinking and driving are you, Quill?”
“Oh My God! No, I’m not drinking and driving. I promise. What time do you want me home?”
“Nine!” Liz teased, sort of.
“Midnight,” Quill countered.
“I don’t like it, but okay. Behave, and if you ever need me to come and get you because you have been drinking, I will. Don’t ever think you can’t call me.”
“Mom, I’m not going to be drinking.”
<>
Quill and her friends sat around the dirty garage and listened to music, talked, laughed and, of course, passed a couple of joints.
“What is wrong with you?” Whisper asked at Quill blanking out again for the 10th time.
“Uh? Oh, I was just thinking.”
“Obliviously, what’s on your mind tonight?” Whisper asked.
Oh, just my Julius that won’t leave my mind. “Nothing, I think I’m going to take off. I’ll call you later.”
“What? Why? It’s only nine. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, just go home. I’m kind of tired and I need to start on that report for stupid Mr. Praider.”
“It’s Saturday night. You’re not doing homework.” Whisper protested.
Quill smiled and stood from the old truck seat. “It’s due Monday,” she reminded her. “I’ll call you later.”
Quill drove the couple miles home in silence. She even reached over and turned off the music. If she started on the report tonight, she could have it done by the following day. She thought about what she was going to write about. Someone famous in history she would like to meet. Hmmm? Maybe Adolf Hitler. Nah, Mr. Praider probably wouldn’t appreciate the things that she would do to him. Helen Keller, yeah. She would have loved to have met her, just for the simple fact that she leaped over hurdles that the majority of people would have turned and walked away from.
Quill did very well in school. Although she still didn’t want to go, and thought it stupid, she did well. The funny part is that she insisted that Reese do well too. Liz loved to see the two of them sprawled on each other’s beds doing homework together or sitting at the table while Quill helped Reese with the geometry that she insisted she couldn’t do. Quill made sure that she could do it. She would even stop her in the halls to ask her how she did on a quiz or a test.
Quill pulled into the driveway, noticing the dark house. Her mom was still with Connor and, of course, Reese was with Lil. She stuck the key in the front door and looked up cautiously when the door wasn’t locked. Her mother would never leave the house unlocked. She hung the keys on its rightful hook and dropped her jacket and bag to the sofa. That’s when she heard the creak on the hardwood floor. Someone was in the house. She was scared all of a sudden.
Should she leave? Should she call the cops? Where was her phone? She placed her hand on her front pocket, feeling the phone. She was frozen in time, unable to move. Was the noise from upstairs? No. No. It sounded more like it was coming from the dining room. What did they want? She listened, not hearing anything. She was being paranoid. Nobody was in the house. Just stop it, Quill, she said out loud and flipped on the light. She walked to the kitchen for a yogurt and flipped that light on as well.
She took her favorite strawberry yogurt from the fridge and looked around the counter. Didn’t they buy bananas that afternoon? She could have sworn they did. She snickered when she saw them where they were always kept.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Seri answered Quill’s call.
Quill slid to the kitchen chair and dipped her banana in her yogurt. “Nothing just got home. What did the doctor say?” She wanted to know about her morning visit.
“He said I was as good as new, but he wants to do a hysterectomy.”
“Why? That doesn’t sound like good as new to me. What about having a baby?”
“You can’t have a baby if you don’t have a uterus, Quill”
“You’re such a bitch. What if you want to though?”
“I’m not going to want to. I wouldn’t be good at that, and besides, your dad says he’s too old to go through teenage girls again anyway.”
“But, what’s wrong with your uterus?”
“Mostly scar tissue. When the bullet fragmented that part of my body, my uterus was kind of in the way. He says I shouldn’t try to carry a baby.”
“Are you sure you never want to, though?”
“I’m sure. My little Quill is going to find a nice man and give me one to spoil rotten.”
Quill laughed. “If you marry my dad, that’s gonna make you a grandma,” she reminded her.
“Fuck you. I hate you.”
Quill laughed again. “You said it, not me.”
“Besides, if I don’t have a uterus, I don’t have to worry about that monthly thing anymore. I can have sex any time I want.”
“Yuck. You do remember that is my dad that you do that with, don’t you?”
Seri laughed. She sometimes forgot that fact. “Are you coming here next weekend?”
“I don’t know, for what?”
“Really, Quill? Your dad’s birthday, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, but I want to drive. You think I could get away with buying a car with all this money? I could say I found it or something.”
“NO! Don’t even try it.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ve got to go start a report. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay, and don’t go getting any bright ideas. Your dad wants to get you a car for graduation anyway.”
“That’s like months away.”
“You’ll live. Now be a good little girl and go do your homework.”
“You drive me crazy.”
“You drive me crazy and I love you; talk to you tomorrow.”
“Alright, see ya.”
Quill walked back to the living room to get her bag, head upstairs and start on her paper. She didn’t have time to scream, she just reacted. She felt the hand over her mouth and the next thing she remembered was the loud sound of the twice-her-sized-body hitting the hardwood floor and then the moan.
“Jesus, Quill,” Julius moaned.
“Julius!”
“Hi, baby,” Julius smiled up, holding his shoulder, which he wasn’t quite sure was dislocated yet or not. “Where’d you learn to fight like that?”
“You taught me, you big dumb idiot. You could have just said my name, might have saved your back a little. What the hell are you doing here? I thought you would be back in Spain by now.”
“I have been here all along,” he admitted, sitting up. “What the hell are you doing in that junkyard all the time?”
Quill helped him to his feet and fell into his arms as it hit her. Julius was there. He was really there. He didn’t leave her. He was there.
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into an emotional embrace. How was he supposed to just let her go? How was she supposed to let him go? She couldn’t. She didn’t want to.
“I can’t live without you, Quill,” Julius assured her, holding her face and kissing her lips.
“I don’t want you to, Julius. What do we do? I can’t just run away anymore.” She couldn’t do that either. She didn’t want to.
“We’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want you to run anymore either, Julius. You don’t have to. Just keep clean and don’t do anything illegal. They won’t bother you. Seri promised that as long as they didn’t get word that you were transporting or training chattels, they would leave you alone. Do you have money, Julius?” she asked, rattling on and on. She couldn’t believe that he was there. Right there in her living room.
Julius let out a short puff of air. “My nose is clean, and I
have money. You should know that.”
“Well, do something with it, Julius. Do something that’s not going to get you sent to prison.”
“I’m not sure I know how to do anything like that.”
“You can. You’re a smart man. I know for a fact that you had the same education as me. Father made sure of it. You can do something, Julius. Please. I don’t want you running anymore,” she begged.
Julius didn’t have time to respond when the headlights shined through the window.
“Shit, my mom is home.”
“I’ll go out the back door,” Julius decided. He didn’t want to get her in trouble, and he sure as hell didn’t want her mother to find him there.
“NO!” she almost yelled. “Go to my room. She won’t come up there.” Quill wasn’t about to let him leave. Not again. She was too afraid of not seeing him again. What if he disappeared again?
“And do what, Quill?”
“Just go, Julius. I’ll be up in a minute.”
<>
“You’re early. I didn’t expect you home yet,” Liz said, walking into the living room.
“I have a paper due Monday,” Quill replied. Liz smiled, proud of her passionate outtake on her school work.
“Want to eat ice cream first?” Liz asked.
“No, I just had a yogurt and a banana. I’m going to head up for the night. Is Reese coming home?” Quill wanted to know, worried about her being right across the hall from her.
“No. She’s staying with Lil. Why?”
“I was just curious. Goodnight.”
Liz smiled. “Goodnight, Sweetie.”
Julius was sitting on Quill’s bed with his elbows on his knees when Quill opened the door and locked it behind her. She pushed him to his back and he wrapped her in his arms. They had a lot of talking to do. They both knew it, but at that given moment, they only cared that they were together.
“How’d you get in here?” Quill asked, adjusting her body to his side while she kept her hand on his chest with his covering hers.
“Quill, I’m a Chavez,” he grinned. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. You’ve been here all along?”