I’d also lost Brutus for the day. Even though he worked at his body too and Lash was footing the bill, Brutus’s activities didn’t involve long gym visits and salon services. They involved a smooth, mocha-skinned beauty who worked hotel reception that he eyed up, nailed down and with whom he was currently behind closed doors with a Do Not Disturb sign. Today was her day off so they had lots of time.
Brutus got his own treat.
As for me, I was at a loss for what to do. My life did include regular spa treatments. We had a pool at home I used often. I spent a lot of time shopping because I liked it and could afford it and my life was generally stress-free. That was, when the people of Mustang weren’t paying me threatening visits or firing at the defenses I built around my heart with bazookas.
I was looking forward to getting back to that.
But for the next couple of days, I wasn’t sure what to do.
Yes, there I was. Me. Except for drifting through the club fake flirting with men, my life was a vacation.
Fancy that.
I decided I’d order up room service, slip into something comfortable, call up a bunch of movies and spend my time lazing in bed with a movie marathon.
I didn’t do that at home and I thought that would be awesome.
I slid my keycard in, the light went green, I pushed down the handle and slid the card out. Then I pushed open the door.
Then something warm and hard was at my back pushing at me and the door.
I started to cry out, twisting around, my shoulder slamming into something solid, my head jerking back and I saw him.
Gray.
The cry strangled itself in my throat and I didn’t struggle as Gray pushed us in until we cleared the door then he stopped, facing me, shutting the door behind him and standing in front of it.
I took three quick strides into the room and whirled.
Shit. He looked good.
No.
He looked fucking great.
Time had been kind and I shouldn’t have been surprised, I knew it would be. The way he was made, there was no other way it could be. But I also saw photos of his Dad at his house. His father never lost it either.
It wasn’t like it had been thirty years. Gray was just thirty-three.
But he wore it well just as he’d wear fifty-three, sixty-three and, if he was lucky, eighty-three.
“How did you find me?” I asked, tearing my gaze from all that was him to look into his blue eyes.
“Dollface, you came to Mustang and made a splash. It was impossible not to find you.”
It happened and he kept speaking but he saw it and when he was done talking his brows shot together.
My body had jerked like it took a blow.
And this was on his first word.
Dollface.
“Ivey?” he called, his voice softer, a thread of concern drifting through it.
I pulled my shit together and straightened my shoulders.
“Get out.”
The concern vanished and his face got hard again.
“Oh no, we’re gonna talk.”
“You and I don’t have anything to talk about,” I informed him.
“Twenty-four hours ago, you’re right. We didn’t. Then you strutted your ass through two counties laying a thick trail of your man’s money and gettin’ in everyone’s face about it, especially mine, so now we do.”
“It’s done, there’s nothing you can do about it so just leave and move on,” I advised.
“You’re right again, Ivey. It’s done and there’s nothin’ I can do about it but that don’t mean I got nothin’ to say about it. I’m gonna say what I gotta say and you’re gonna listen.”
Really?
Why couldn’t these people just leave me alone?
“Is this necessary?” I snapped.
“Yeah, to me, yeah. You, Ivey, you waltz into Mustang and bail my shit out usin’ another guy’s money? What the fuck?”
“Gray –”
“That was not cool,” he cut me off, his voice starting to go rough with building fury. “Shovin’ your man and his money in my face, Ivey. That…was not…cool.”
“It wasn’t his money, Gray, it was mine,” I shot back, Gray leaned back and the surprise showed on his face. I took that and went with it. “So you can stop being macho man rancher cowboy pissed off that another man sorted your shit. Now you can start being macho man rancher cowboy pissed off that a woman sorted your shit. But, for God’s sake, do it somewhere else.”
“It was his money,” Gray pressed, the surprise moving out of his face, the fury back in.
“It wasn’t, Gray,” I pressed back.
“It was, Ivey, you live with him, you fuck him, he uses you and your hair and your ass and your legs to make the money he pays you so it’s his money. Christ, all these years, you never learned. It just got worse.”
Melted steel shot through my veins encasing my spine and as it did I lost my mind.
“How dare you?” I hissed.
“Pretty easy,” Gray clipped back.
“You have no idea how it is between Lash and me.”
He leaned in, expression, posture and, when he spoke, his tone telling me his anger was escalating right along with mine.
“Darlin’, you forget, I saw you. You swayed your tight ass right in my face. I paid three hundred dollars for the seat at that show as did a hundred other men around that stage. You can talk for a year and you will never convince me that the man you fuck gave you all that money. He’s using you just like your brother. Except unlike your brother he gets to fuck you a different way and you’re so goddamned stupid, you let him.”
“You don’t know how it is,” I snapped.
“I know exactly how it is,” he bit back.
“No you don’t, Gray. Lash is gay.”
I was so furious at the way he was speaking to me, what he was saying, it just slid out.
And a miracle didn’t happen a nanosecond afterward where my words evaporated before they hit Gray’s ears. I knew it by the shock that settled on his face.
And I had to instigate damage control, pronto.
“You can’t tell anyone,” I whispered.
Gray stared at me and didn’t say a word.
Frantic, I rushed to him and repeated, “You can’t tell anyone. No one knows. No one but me. You can’t tell anyone.”
Gray looked down at me, still speechless and I lifted a hand, curled it into his tee and leaned into him.
“Gray, you have to promise me, not a single word. He trusts me. I’m the only one in this world he trusts. I know everything about him, he knows everything about me. The only reason he gave me that gift was that he trusted me to keep it safe.” I leaned deeper, rolling up on my toes. “Please, please, Gray. He’s my best friend in this world and he trusts me. You have to promise me you won’t breathe a word to anyone about what I just said.”
Gray’s eyes moved over my face and when they did they took their time but he still said nothing.
“Please,” I whispered, feeling the tears shimmering in my eyes, hearing the desperation in that one word and Gray’s hand came up, fingers curling around mine at his shirt, holding it tight and warm.
“Ivey, who am I gonna tell?” he whispered back.
“No one, please, promise me,” I begged and his fingers squeezed mine.
“I promise, darlin’.”
I stared in his eyes searching for any sign he was lying to me and when I saw none I sucked in breath.
Then I realized I was leaning breasts to his chest, my hand curled in his shirt with his hand holding mine so I yanked my hand free and took two steps back.
Gray watched me do this and he kept watching me even as I stopped. His face held no fury. No residual shock.
But he was still studying me, eyes alert, something working at the back of them.
I heard a phone ring, it was coming from Gray’s ass but he ignored it and I did too.
I pulled in another calming breath, l
et it go and with it got my shit together.
So, being together, calmly I told him, “I don’t understand what made me do it but I did it and it’s done. If it wounds your pride, I’m sure you’ll get over it. But Mrs. Cody was kind to me, eventually, in her way and I didn’t like that she would not be in a clean place where she liked being. And Mustang was kind to me in its way and I didn’t like that it was losing its legacy. So I had the means to do it and I did it. Please accept that, move on and I will too.”
His phone stopped ringing only for it to start up again.
But he ignored it and kept looking at me.
When his phone quit ringing again without him speaking, I started, “Gray –”
“She’s in there,” he interrupted me on a murmur, “just saw her.”
I felt my brows draw together and I asked, “Sorry?”
His phone started ringing again, he muttered, “Fuck,” reached to his back pocket, pulled it out, looked at it, flipped it open and put it to his ear. “Janie. Now is not the time.”
I stared at him, really wishing he still wasn’t so beautiful, really, really wishing I hadn’t blurted out Lash’s secret and lastly wishing that he would just go away and I could get on with my movie marathon.
That marathon would most assuredly include a couple of boxes of Kleenexes but whatever. I’d survived before, I’d survive again.
I just had to hold it together in the now.
I moved across our large room that started with a kind of sitting room. This led through a large open doorway to another room that held a king-size bed off which was a huge, pristine bathroom that was at the end of a wall that was filled with cabinets, cupboards and a built-in wardrobe. There was a mirror behind a shelf covered in various-sized crystal glasses, a mini-bar that wasn’t so mini, a safe behind a cabinet, shit like that. It was spacious, comfortable and elegant. A serious upgrade and it was sweet.
No half-measures for Lash, ever.
I sat on the end of a chair, crossing my legs, my spike-heeled, strappy-sandal-shod foot bouncing as I heard Gray say into his phone, “Yeah, I found her. I’m with her now.”
Great. Janie and Gray were talking about me.
I put an elbow to my crossed knee, my head in my hand and kept impatiently bouncing my foot waiting for this to be done, him to be gone and me to be free to have nervous breakdown number five gazillion as pertains to Grayson Cody.
Then Gray’s back shot straight before I saw his body freeze.
Oh no.
My body froze with him.
Then he whispered, “What?”
He listened.
I waited.
Then his eyes came to me.
Oh no!
What was Janie saying?
“Say again?” Gray asked into the phone softly. He listened again, I stared as his face changed to something I didn’t get but whatever it was scared the hell out of me and as I did this I tried (thankfully successfully) to force myself to keep breathing. “Right,” he said quietly then again, “Right. Later.”
He flipped his phone shut and turned to me.
“What?” I asked when he didn’t say anything but he didn’t answer, just looked at me with that expression on his face that scared the shit out of me. “What, Gray?” I pushed.
“You wrote me a note?” He was still talking quietly.
Shit.
This again.
I stood and crossed my arms on my chest. “Yes, Gray. Seven years ago I stole off in the dark of night but before doing it, I wrote you a note. This happened seven years ago and those words are the only words I’m going to give this shit. It’s over. It’s been over for seven years. I’m not going over it.”
It was like he didn’t hear me and I knew this when he asked, “You came back?”
Okay, now, he really didn’t want to get into this.
“Listen, you said what you had to say, we had it out, now can you just leave?”
“You came back,” he stated, again not listening to me.
“Gray, I asked relatively nicely and I’ll do it again. Please leave.”
“You came back,” he repeated and I uncrossed my arms from my chest, planted my hands on my hips and snapped, “Yes, I came back.”
“Why didn’t you come to me?”
I took a step back because I had no choice. His words came at me in a roar, a wall of sound that was physical, beating into me.
“I –” I started, thrown, stunned, scrambling, unable to think.
“Why the fuck didn’t you come to me, Ivey?” His voice was deep and rasping, it was so abrasive.
“Gray –”
“Why the fuck didn’t you come to me?” he shouted and once again, I lost it.
“Because I saw you, you asshole!” I shouted back, leaning in. “I saw you with a pretty brunette walking down the sidewalk, smack in town, your arm around her, holding her close, smiling in her face. Like only three months before you’d hold me!” I kept shouting. “I knew about Cecily and Nancy, all of them, all the way back to Emily, all your history. Twenty-five and Mustang’s resident player who played me. So do not stand there and pretend you didn’t get my note and do not stand there and bullshit me that this is about me leaving. This is about you and your pride and needing to get something off your chest. Whatever. You did it. Now get the fuck out.”
“I wasn’t with another woman, Ivey,” he ground out, his eyes locked to mine, his burning.
“Bullshit, Gray, such fucking bullshit. I saw you with her. I was not seeing things. It was not the dead of night. The sun was shining. You were smiling. Do not…bullshit me.”
“I wasn’t with another woman,” he repeated.
“Do not bullshit me!” I leaned forward to shriek.
He didn’t move, not a muscle, just stared at me.
Then he whispered, “Brunette.”
“Yes, Gray, she was a brunette. Switching it up again. Cecily was too.”
His eyes held mine and I noticed his chest was rising and falling deeply (just like mine) then he tore his eyes away from me at the same time he tore his fingers through his hair. Then he dropped his hand and when his eyes came back to me it took everything I had to keep my feet at the pain etched in his features.
“I didn’t get any note,” he whispered. “And that girl was my cousin Chandler. She went to Auburn back then. She was back for summer vacation. Outside Audie, she’s the only cousin I like. Fuck, I’m closer to her than I am Audie. Closer to her than anyone but Gran.”
Every word hit me like a blow, each carrying too much force I couldn’t stop myself from swaying back. I hit chair and steadied.
“You should have come to me,” Gray said softly but each word held at least a ton of weight.
I couldn’t process that. If I gave those words time, they would crush me.
Instead, I whispered, “I left you a note.”
He shook his head. “I was outta my mind when you disappeared. Looked everywhere for you. Janie and I went up there. Swept clean. Nothin’ there but the stuff you borrowed from me.”
My heart was beginning to race and something was crawling in my belly, tearing at the lining, trying to get out.
“That isn’t true,” I said quietly. “I packed in a hurry. I left clothes behind. Books. Shoes. I told you I’d be back.”
“There was no note, Ivey. There was nothing left of you at all.”
It was my turn not to hear him.
“I told you I’d be back,” I whispered as that thing tore through the lining of my stomach, infiltrated my system, rushed to my brain.
“Baby, there was no note.”
“I told you I’d be back,” I repeated in a voice so soft there was nearly no sound because in that instant it hit my brain, all of it.
It never made sense.
Until right then.
Casey.
And all that acid leaking out of my shredded stomach drenched my system, I couldn’t hold it back anymore so I turned and dashed straight to the ba
throom. I hit the tiles painfully as I fell to my knees, sliding. I tagged the toilet and barely got the lid up before I let fly.
Breakfast. Gone.
My back arched and bowed with the strength of sick pouring out of me but I could vomit forever and never get it all out.
It ran in my veins.
It was me.
Vomit. Sick. Filth.
Fucking Casey.
My stupid, fucking, loser, dickhead, user, asshole brother.
“Ivey, baby, Jesus, you’re scarin’ me,” Gray’s voice whispered from close, his hands shifting my hair away from my neck. I couldn’t endure his touch so I lurched away.
Throwing myself on my ass in the corner, pressed between the wall and tub, I saw Gray crouched by the toilet start moving to me.
My arm flew out straight, palm up toward him and I cried, “Don’t!”
He stilled.
“Don’t,” I whimpered, dropping my arm.
Then I looked at the wall, reached out, grabbed a towel from the rail, pulled it down and gathered it close like a security blanket, holding it to my body, the edge of it to my mouth.
Gray closed the toilet lid, flushed it, sat on it and leaned his elbows into his knees before he begged, “Dollface, talk to me.”
“He had money,” I told my bent knees, curling them closer, wrapping one arm around.
“Get outta that corner, honey, come with me. We’ll talk in the other room.”
I didn’t move.
“He had money. A lot of money,” I semi-repeated.
“Ivey –”
My eyes stayed glued to my knees. “I thought he’d stolen it. Now I don’t know. I don’t know where he got it.”
Gray was silent.
I kept talking.
“He said they were after him, us. They’d beaten him badly. I saw that. But months we were on the run. He never pushed the hustle. Never asked for money. Never dropped a con. I looked through his stuff and found the money. I just thought he stole it.”
“Please, baby, let me come to you, get you off this floor.”
I ignored him.
“I never saw them. He told me they were following us but I could spot a tail. I was better at it than him. He was acting weird. All over me. Never left me alone. Never. Never let me get near a phone. Twitchy. God, so damned twitchy. It freaked me out.”