Read Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit Page 5

his son starts talking

  and then it’s time

  for me

  to go.

  interviews

  young men from the underground

  newspapers and the small circulation

  magazines come

  more and more often

  to interview me—

  their hair is long

  they are thin

  have tape recorders and

  arrive with

  much beer.

  most

  of them

  manage to stay some hours and

  get intoxicated.

  if one of my girlfriends is around

  I get her to do the

  talking.

  go ahead, I say, tell them the

  truth about me.

  then they tell what they think is

  the truth.

  they paint me to resemble the

  idiot

  which is true.

  then I’m questioned:

  why did you stop writing for ten

  years?

  I don’t know.

  how come you didn’t get into the

  army?

  crazy.

  can you speak German?

  no.

  who are your favorite modern

  writers?

  I don’t know.

  I seldom see the

  interviews, although once one of

  the young men wrote back that

  my girlfriend had

  kissed him

  when I was in the bathroom.

  you got off easy, I wrote back

  and by the way

  forget that shit I told you about

  Dos Passos. or was it

  Mailer? it’s hot tonight

  and half the neighborhood is

  drunk. the other half is

  dead.

  if I have any advice about writing

  poetry, it’s—

  don’t. I’m going to send out for

  some fried chicken.

  buk

  face of a political candidate on a street billboard

  there he is:

  not too many hangovers

  not too many fights with women

  not too many flat tires

  never a thought of suicide

  not more than three toothaches

  never missed a meal

  never in jail

  never in love

  7 pairs of shoes

  a son in college

  a car one year old

  insurance policies

  a very green lawn

  garbage cans with tight lids

  he’ll be elected.

  Yankee Doodle

  I was young

  no stomach

  arms of wire

  but strong

  I arrived drunk at the factory

  every morning

  and out-worked the whole pack of them

  without strain

  the old guy

  his name was Sully

  good old Irish Sully

  he fumbled with screws

  and whistled the same song all day

  long:

  Yankee Doodle came to town

  Ridin’ on a pony

  He stuck a feather in his hat

  And called it macaroni…

  they say he had been whistling that song

  for years

  I began whistling right along

  with him

  we whistled together for hours

  him counting screws

  me packing 8 foot long light fixtures into

  coffin boxes

  as the days went on

  he began to pale and tremble

  he’d miss a note now and then

  I whistled on

  he began to miss days

  then he missed a week

  next I knew

  the word got out

  Sully was in a hospital for an

  operation

  2 weeks later he came in with a cane

  and his wife

  he shook hands with everybody

  a 40 year man

  when they had the retirement party for him

  I missed it

  because of a terrible

  hangover

  after he was gone

  oddly

  I kept looking for him,

  and I realized that he had

  never hated me, that I

  had only hated

  him

  I began drinking more

  missing more days

  then they let me go

  too

  I’ve never minded getting

  fired but that was the one time

  I felt it.

  blue moon, oh bleweeww mooooon how I adore you!

  I care for you, darling, I love you,

  the only reason I fucked L. is because you fucked

  Z. and then I fucked R. and you fucked N.

  and because you fucked N. I had to fuck

  Y. But I think of you constantly, I feel you

  here in my belly like a baby, love I’d call it,

  no matter what happens I’d call it love, and so

  you fucked C. and then before I could move

  you fucked W., so then I had to fuck D. But

  I want you to know that I love you, I think of you

  constantly, I don’t think I’ve ever loved anybody

  like I love you.

  bow wow bow wow wow

  bow wow bow wow wow.

  nothing is as effective as defeat

  always carry a notebook with you

  wherever you go, he said,

  and don’t drink too much, drinking dulls

  the sensibilities,

  attend readings, note breath pauses,

  and when you read

  always understate

  underplay, the crowd is smarter than you

  might think,

  and when you write something

  don’t send it out right away,

  put it in a drawer for two weeks,

  then take it out and look

  at it, and revise, revise,

  REVISE again and again,

  tighten lines like bolts holding the span

  of a 5 mile bridge,

  and keep a notebook by your bed,

  you will get thoughts during the night

  and these thoughts will vanish and be wasted

  unless you notate them.

  and don’t drink, any fool can

  drink, we are men of

  letters.

  for a guy who couldn’t write at all

  he was about like the rest

  of them: he could sure

  talk about

  it.

  success

  I had a most difficult job

  starting my 14 year old car today

  in 100 degree heat

  I had to take the carburetor off

  leap back and forth

  adjusting the set-screw,

  a 2 by 4 jammed against the gas pedal

  to hold it down.

  I got it going—after 45 minutes—

  I mailed 4 letters

  purchased something cool

  came back

  got into my place

  and listened to Ives

  had dreams of empire

  my great white belly against

  the fan.

  Africa, Paris, Greece

  there are these 2 women

  I know who are

  quite similar

  almost the same

  age

  well-read

  literary

  I once slept with both of

  them

  but that’s all

  over

  we’re friends

  they’ve been to Africa

  Paris

  Greece

  here and there

  fucked some famous men


  one is now living with a

  millionaire

  some few miles

  from here

  goes to breakfast and

  dinner with him

  feeds his fish his cats and

  his dog

  when she gets drunk she phones

  me

  the other is having it

  more difficult living

  alone in a small apartment in

  Venice (Calif.)

  listening to the bongo

  drums

  famous men seem to want

  young women

  a young woman is easier

  to get rid

  of: they have more

  places to

  go

  it is difficult for women who

  were once beautiful

  to get

  old

  they have to become more

  intelligent (if they want to

  hold their men) and do

  more things

  in bed and out of

  bed

  these 2 women I know

  they’re good both

  in and out of

  bed

  and they’re intelligent

  intelligent enough to know

  they can’t come see me

  and stay

  more than an

  hour or two

  they are quite

  similar

  and I know

  if they read this poem

  they’ll understand

  it

  just as well as they

  understand

  Rimbaud or Rilke

  or Keats

  meanwhile I have met a

  young blonde from the

  Fairfax district

  as she looks at my paintings

  on the walls

  I rub the bottoms of

  her feet.

  the drunk tank judge

  the drunk tank judge is

  late like any other

  judge and he is

  young

  well-fed

  educated

  spoiled and

  from a good

  family.

  we drunks put out our cigarettes and await his

  mercy.

  those who couldn’t make bail are

  first. “guilty,” they say, they all say,

  “guilty.”

  “7 days.” “14 days.” “14 days and then you will be

  released to the Honor Farm.” “4 days.” “7 days.”

  “14 days.”

  “judge, these guys beat hell out of a man

  in there.”

  “next.”

  “judge, they really beat hell out of me.”

  “next case, please.”

  “7 days.” “14 days and then you will be released to the

  Honor Farm.”

  the drunk tank judge is

  young and

  overfed, he has

  eaten too many meals. he is

  fat.

  the bail-out drunks are

  next. they put us in long lines and

  he takes us

  quickly. “2 days or 40 dollars.” “2 days or 40

  dollars.” “2 days or 40 dollars.” “2 days or

  40 dollars.”

  there are 35 or

  40 of us.

  the courthouse is on San Fernando Road among the

  junkyards.

  when we go to the bailiff he

  tells us,

  “your bail will apply.”

  “what?”

  “your bail will apply.”

  the bail is $50. the court keeps the

  ten.

  we walk outside and get into our

  old automobiles.

  most of our automobiles look worse than

  the ones in the

  junkyards. some of us

  don’t have any

  automobiles, most of us are

  Mexicans and poor whites.

  the trainyards are across the

  street. the sun is up

  good.

  the judge has very

  smooth

  delicate

  skin, the judge has

  fat

  jowls.

  we walk and we drive away from the

  courthouse.

  justice.

  claws of paradise

  wooden butterfly

  baking soda smile

  sawdust fly—

  I love my belly

  and the liquor store man

  calls me,

  “Mr. Schlitz.”

  the cashiers at the race track

  scream,

  “THE POET KNOWS!”

  when I cash my tickets.

  the ladies

  in and out of bed

  say they love me

  as I walk by with wet

  white feet.

  albatross with drunken eyes

  Popeye’s dirt-stained shorts

  bedbugs of Paris,

  I have cleared the barricades

  have mastered the

  automobile

  the hangover

  the tears

  but I know

  the final doom

  like any schoolboy viewing

  the cat being crushed

  by passing traffic.

  my skull has an inch and a

  half crack right at the

  dome.

  most of my teeth are

  in front. I get

  dizzy spells in supermarkets

  spit blood when I drink

  whiskey

  and become saddened to

  the point of

  grief

  when I think of all the

  good women I have known

  who have

  dissolved

  vanished

  over trivialities:

  trips to Pasadena,

  children’s picnics,

  toothpaste caps down

  the drain.

  there is nothing to do

  but drink

  play the horse

  bet on the poem

  as the young girls

  become women

  and the machineguns

  point toward me

  crouched

  behind walls thinner

  than eyelids.

  there’s no defense

  except all the errors

  made.

  meanwhile

  I take showers

  answer the phone

  boil eggs

  study motion and waste

  and feel as good

  as the next while

  walking in the sun.

  the loner

  16 and one-half inch

  neck

  68 years old

  lifts weights

  body like a young

  boy (almost)

  kept his head

  shaved

  and drank port wine

  from half-gallon jugs

  kept the chain on the

  door

  windows boarded

  you had to give

  a special knock

  to get in

  he had brass knucks

  knives

  clubs

  guns

  he had a chest like a

  wrestler

  never lost his

  glasses

  never swore

  never looked for

  trouble

  never married after the death

  of his only

  wife

  hated

  cats

  roaches

  mice

  humans

  worked crossword

  puzzles

  kept up with the

  news

  that 16 and one-half inch

  neck

  for 68 he was

  something
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  all those boards

  across the windows

  washed his own underwear

  and socks

  my friend Red took me up