Was all that stupid, crazy shit him? I withdrew my hand from his, made a fist, and punched him in the shoulder. My fist was ineffectual against his muscular arm, and it throbbed on contact, but I felt better for doing it. "Seriously? How about you fucking show up and have a real conversation with me instead of coming up with all these psycho schemes?" I raised my hand to punch him again.
He caught my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Because it's easier than showing up and putting my heart on the line, only to have you step on it all over again. I thought if I could get you out of your comfort zone, maybe you'd let me in long enough to give me a second chance."
I just stared at him, shocked and aghast at the lengths he'd gone to drag me back. Then, I pried my hand out of his, feeling numb. "You know me, H. I'm not into second chances. I'm sorry. There are lots of nice girls here--"
"I'm only interested in one." His silver gaze devoured me.
I shook my head. "You should pick someone else. Just...leave me alone, okay?"
Heathcliff's expression turned cold. "Are you going to run away again, Juno?"
"Again?" I was offended at the way he spat the word.
"Yes, again. Or don't you remember that I caught you running eight years ago?" He shook his head, clearly disappointed in me. "Whenever things get tough, you don't stop to work things out. You just pull up stakes and run."
"That's not true!"
"Isn't it?"
I stared at him, then shook my head and retreated a step. "I...I need to process." I turned away from him, stumbling on the sand in my haste. I ran down the beach, desperate to get away from him, from the confusion of my own thoughts.
Desperate to retreat.
Desperate to run away. Because even though I denied it, he was right. When things got hard, I ran. It was the only way I could protect myself.
8
Chapter Six
"I am so damn tired of her running away from me. Just once, I'd like for her to run to me for a change." -- Heathcliff Forester, the Billionaire Bachelor, Episode 3 Interview
I got to retreat for a whole two hours before Leona returned, cheery as could be, and full of gossip from the other girls. "Tiffany - that's hot pink - is a forensic archaeologist. Just like on that show! Isn't that cool?"
"Wild," I agreed blandly.
"And Becca - she's sea foam green - is a video game model and a stuntwoman. Apparently they stick all these little electrical doodads on her skin to see how she moves and..."
I tuned out, still lost in thought. Leona chattered on and on about the other women and talked about how we could stand out against 'the competition'. "Not that you need much help," she said smugly. "It's clear he's got the hots for you."
Which made me feel...weird. Did the others know this was all a big set-up by the world's most controlling guy? Or did they think they really had a chance with him?
And God, how arrogant did that sound?
Leona styled my hair, artfully braiding it on one side and letting the waves hang loose on the other. Then we went to makeup and wardrobe, and I was given a white sheath dress with an asymmetrical collar and one long, tight sleeve, the other arm bare. I liked this dress better than the last, because it showed off my tan and my impressive guns from years of endlessly working with heavy glass-blowing equipment. Plus, there was no chance of a stray boob going wandering, which was always a bonus. Leona looked utterly adorable in her peach sheath, her dress a simple one with an attached high collar and no sleeves. She looked like a frothy confection and I felt a little sad that she didn't know this entire thing was a farce. The excited look on her face as we neared the Decision Ceremony told me that she was looking forward to seeing Heathcliff again, which just made me feel worse.
As we arrived for the Decision Ceremony, I was surprised to see Heathcliff was already in the room, mingling with the remaining women. They hovered about him like vultures, one clinging to his arm and the rest hanging off his words. He looked over at me as we entered and gestured that we should join them.
I went straight for the drink tray instead.
An hour later, we gathered for the newest Decision Ceremony, and Heathcliff gave us another little speech about how he had to go with his gut and pick the women right for him. This time, we'd go down to six women from twelve. I kept my eyes closed as they brought the tray of flowers forward. Let me go, I insisted silently. Don't pick me. Don't pick me.
"My first flower goes to...Juno."
Groan. I cast him a withering look even as I stepped forward to receive my flower. When I stepped up and let him put it behind my ear, I told him, "You're just prolonging the misery, H. Like I said before, I'm not interested in second chances. Just stop it, okay?"
He leaned back and I saw those gray eyes flash with anger. Just a quick glimpse of it, and then it disappeared behind careful walls again. He gave me a charming smile and gestured that I should step to the side so they could continue with the ceremony.
I did so, but on the inside, I was seething. He was going to keep doing this, was he? Fine. I'd just have to be the strong one here.
"The next flower is for...Leona."
Leona practically bounded up to him with excitement, and my eyes narrowed. It was cruel of him to keep stringing her along, and I made a mental note to tell him just that the next time we had a moment alone.
The next four women were picked in short order - Kimberly, Becca, Jenni F, and a girl named Diamond who wore a stunning deep red.
"Now," Host Lawrence said as the other women exited in a flurry of tears. "Our billionaire bachelor gets a special date with one of our lovely ladies. This will give him a chance to have some one-on-one time alone with our women, and maybe get to know a certain lady a little better. You'll be invited to have a moonlit picnic on the beach with our billionaire bachelor. It'll be the perfect spot for...romance."
A flurry of titters arose from the remaining women.
My shoulders squared, and I prepared for an argument. A special date with a special lady, huh? I crossed my arms over my chest and just waited for Heathcliff to look in my direction.
But he only smiled at gazed down the line at us, as if pretending to really choose from the remaining six women. Please, I thought to myself. This is just one big endless charade.
"I think I'd like to see more of one lady in particular who has captured my imagination."
I rolled my eyes.
Heathcliff turned to Kimberly and extended his hand. "Would you like to go to dinner with me?"
I barely managed to choke back my sputter. What the hell? I watched as Kimberly giggled and put her hand in his, and he led her away. Heathcliff glanced back at me, gave me his most charming smile, and then they disappeared.
And I was left stewing in my own juices. Was this a game with him? Was that what this was? Make Juno jealous by paying attention to her nemesis with the big cans? It was so obvious that it would never work.
Yet as I went back to the room I shared with Leona, I was stewing with rage.
Why was he being such a jerk?
* * *
I simmered and seethed all night. Heathcliff was being unfair to Kimberly, I decided. I mean, sure, we didn't get along because she'd wanted my dress, but that didn't mean she didn't deserve to be treated like a normal human being. Heathcliff was just using her to make me jealous. He couldn't possibly like her. This was all a ploy.
I wasn't falling for it.
I wasn't.
Which, I suppose, was why it didn't make sense that I was so incredibly furious at him at the moment.
It wasn't jealousy, I told myself. I shouldn't care that he was stringing along Kimberly as long as he left me alone. That was what I wanted, right? But I still felt unsettled. Still twitched as Leona fixed my hair and chatted on, wondering about how the private date had gone. The other women speculated when we went to wardrobe, and by the time we got to breakfast, I was in a state of agitation.
Kimberly was already at the table, looking fiery and beautiful in
a yellow pantsuit. She gave her hair a toss and a smug smile to the rest of us.
The other girls clustered around her. "Details! We want details of how the date went!"
"A girl doesn't kiss and tell," she said in a syrupy voice, and took a delicate sip of her coffee.
I nearly bent my spoon in my hand. She'd kissed Heathcliff?
What happened to I want no one but you, Juno?
Funny how a man could change his mind in the presence of a redhead with a great rack. I twisted my napkin in my lap and tried to will myself into a Zen state of not caring. I needed my furnace and my kilns, my sands and my silicates and my hot shop. I needed to lose myself to hours of twirling glass and shaping it with tongs. I felt trapped here on this island full of glamorous women and this ridiculous farce of a show. I was an artist. I didn't belong here.
I really didn't belong here if Heathcliff was going to flirt with other women in front of me. Was this subtle revenge for the fact that I'd told him I didn't believe in second chances?
The doors opened and he entered the room, all smiles as he joined us for breakfast. And I slouched in my chair, glared at my mimosa, and tried to forget he existed.
All I had to do was last until he voted me out. It sounded like that might be sooner rather than later anyhow, if his attention was transferring to Kimberly.
Heathcliff made his way around the table, greeting each woman and holding a brief conversation with her. He laughed with Jenni F, flirted with Becca, teased Diamond, whispered with Kimberly, and then made his way over to Leona. "Hi, sweetheart," he told her.
Sweetheart?
Leona gave him a saucy grin. "Hi yourself, gorgeous."
He sat down next to her, a movement that did not go unnoticed with the other women. "I hope you haven't been feeling neglected by me, have you?"
"Well, maybe a little," Leona teased, pinching her forefinger and thumb together. "But I'm very good at forgiving."
Heathcliff smiled. "There's a horseback riding trip later today, and I'm supposed to pick one lady to go with me. Would you like to go?"
My eyes widened and I looked over at Leona. She knew he was my ex. She knew he was showing interest in me. Surely she'd turn him down, right? She wanted him and me to get back together, right?
"I'd love to go," she gushed.
I kicked her under the table.
Leona glared at me, then turned her smile back to Heathcliff. "What time?"
"After breakfast?" he said, settling in next to her and examining the menu. After a long moment, he looked over it at me. "Good morning, Juno."
"Hi," I said, and my voice sounded sullen to my own ears. Dammit.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Like a baby. You?"
"Terrific." He gave me another heartbreaking grin. "So what do you recommend for breakfast?"
"Food."
"Be nice, Juno," Leona said, shaking her head at me. "Heathcliff's trying to take that scowl off your face."
My eyes widened. "I'm not scowling!" I was trying so hard to be neutral.
"I'm sure Juno's not upset over anything," Heathcliff said mildly. He examined the menu for a moment longer, then looked over at me. "So what did you think of the beaches?"
I watched him, puzzled. Was that a call-back to our secret get-together yesterday? Was I supposed to take a hint from that? "Um, I found them very inspiring," I told him. "But I'm not having a lot of fun."
"Oh really?"
I nodded. My vision of the sea vase was tickling at the back of my mind, and I was desperate to fire up my furnace and see what I could do with my ideas. "This place is called Pleasures of Eden but we're not even allowed to leave the place to enjoy the island. I don't like sitting around idle. My hands need something to do, and this place isn’t fun for a glass blower. I wish I was back home."
That eyebrow went up and his smile grew tighter. "I see."
This time, Leona kicked me. "She's glad to be here, though. Aren't you, Juno?"
I just nodded lamely and tried to smile.
* * *
I spent the rest of the day in the hotel room, doodling in my sketch pad, trying to come up with concepts for an entire line of seaside glassware. I tried not to watch the clock, but I couldn't help it. Leona sure was out for a long damn time. Where exactly were they riding their horses to? Hawaii? Grumpy, I toyed with another drawing, then gave up and flopped on my back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
I had no idea why I was so bothered by Leona and Heathcliff spending time together. That was totally fine with me. I wanted Leona to get a great guy, and when I had dated Heathcliff, he'd been an amazing boyfriend and even more incredible in bed. He was exactly what I wished for her.
So why was it making me so crazy?
Unable to stand it any longer, I left the room and headed down to wardrobe an hour early, since Leona and Heathcliff still hadn't returned. Might as well see what we were going to be wearing tonight. That, and I was curious to see if any of the other women were nearby, because now I needed details.
Sadly, there was no one around except staff. They looked surprised to see me, because I was normally the last one to show up for wardrobe. "You're early," one commented. "Checking out what's up for wardrobe tonight?"
"Might as well." It wasn't like I was on a date with the billionaire.
"Tonight, there's a dance," one of the wardrobe assistants said, gushing. She ran to one of the racks in the back of the room and rolled it forward. "Total ballroom stuff. It's gonna look fabulous on television."
She pulled out a white gown to show me, and I mentally cringed a little at the sight of it. Big, poofy bows decorated the shoulders and led down to tight sleeves. The skirt was a beautiful bell-shape that would have been gorgeous if it wasn't for all the tulle edging around the sides. I looked at the dress, then at the others. Every single one was overdone in a bad prom sort of way. "Wow."
"Pretty spectacular, huh?"
It was pretty something, all right. "It's awesome. Did you make this?"
"Me? Oh no. They won't let me do more than a few alterations." She made a face. "They're from a famous designer. I believe the line is called 'postmodern ballerina'."
I fingered one of the bows thoughtfully. We still had at least an hour before wardrobe call, and wardrobe call was never a speedy process. Dinner - and tonight's ball - was still many hours away. "What if...what if I wanted to make some alterations?"
A look of excitement crossed the wardrobe assistant's face. "We can't tell you guys no. What did you have in mind?"
"I was thinking more Grace Kelly, less Scarlett O'Hara with the ruffles," I told her. "How hard would it be to pull these off?" I pointed at the tulle, and the bows.
"Not hard at all," she said. "Most of them are just locked with a quick-stitch. But if we do that, it's going to leave a few pinprick holes in the fabric." She held the skirt up, considering. "We'd need something to cover it."
An idea hit me, and I nearly jumped at the thought. If I couldn't be creative with my glass, maybe I could be creative with wardrobe. "What if we went with a theme? Like...a sea theme? We could stitch tiny seashells on--"
"Oooh," she said, eyes lighting up. "And there's a bit of soft blue netting I've been holding onto that would look great draped over the bustle."
Dear lord, there was a bustle? "Can we ditch the sleeves entirely?"
"Hell yeah we can." She grabbed the dress.
We got to work.
9
Chapter Seven
"I feel like I'm in a battle to win Juno back...and I'm losing it. I just don't know what to do." -- Heathcliff Forester, the Billionaire Bachelor, Episode 4 Interview
I slipped out of wardrobe before anyone else arrived, and went straight over to hair and makeup. Since Leona was not back, I took the reins. "I want a ponytail," I told them. "Just a simple blowout and then pony me up. Think simple."
Funnily enough, with my instructions, my hair looked fabulous. My hair had been smoothed into a long, silky pony
tail draping from the crown of my head. My makeup was simple - light and nude on everything but heavy on the lashes. The resulting look was clean and fresh, and went well with my newly transformed dress.
The bows - and sleeves - were gone from my gown. The top had turned into a halter with a low back and a scooped neck, and looked fabulous. The skirt had been toned down from a tulle explosion into a soft elegant flow of silk dotted with starfish and tiny shells retrieved from the gift shop. Bustled down the back of it was the pale blue netting and more shells. It looked unique and elegant and island-ish and every time I looked in the mirror, it reminded me of the beach.
Part of me kinda hoped it reminded Heathcliff of the beach, too. If nothing else, to throw his fickle words in his face.
I wandered the hotel while I waited for time to pass. I couldn't sit in my dress lest I crush the masterwork we'd created. I didn't want to go back to the room I shared with Leona, because I didn't want to hear about how wonderful her date with Heathcliff was. I didn't want to see her glowing with happiness, because it made me feel...odd. I'd just concentrate on looking stellar tonight and make Heathcliff stew. Let him sweat for a change.
I deliberately showed up late for the ball. I guess I was in the mood to make everyone sweat. But for some reason, taking control of my own hair and wardrobe had calmed me. I felt...more like me. More in control of the situation. Like I could handle anything. I just gave the production assistants a calm look as they ushered me into the room.