CHAPTER TEN
Donnie put to good advantage the vacation time he had planned to spend on a wedding trip with Lisa. He knew he would have to make a number of restitutions, and some would involve a long trip back to the college town in which he had lived. So he determined to use the time that now lay idle on his hands in getting his back life straightened up. Also he had decided to move back in with his mother.
"Mom, my rent's due," he had told her. "I've alreadytold my landlady I'd be moving. If it's all right, I'd like to move back in with you."
With a wide smile, she had answered. "I think that's a fantastic idea, Son. Simply wonderful! What sweet fellowship we can have together!"
So Donnie spent the day that was to have been his wedding day moving his belongings back home. His heart felt heavy when he allowed himself to think of what was to have been, yet there was also a feeling of relief. He knew that, regardless of how much it hurt now, everything had worked out for his good and for God's glory.
After the day's work was done and the evening meal was finished, Donnie and his mom sat in the living room visiting.
"Mom," he said, "I've found a peace that I never knew existed. I understand now why Connie endured our ridicule and sarcasm. She had found something worth holding on to."
Mrs. Slocum smiled. "Yes, Donnie. Won't she be thrilled beyond words when she hears about your conversion?"
"Mom, she may already know."
Mrs. Slocum puzzled over his sober statement. "There's no way she can know," she concluded aloud. "You have been saved less than twenty-four hours."
"But, Mom, you know how Connie could always read me like a book. I guess it's because she's my twin. She could always sorta feel when I was in trouble. Don't you think she can feel when my load of sin has been lifted? When I've been set free through the power of Christ?"
"You just may be right, son," Mrs. Slocum acknowledged. "You just may be right." .
Donnie then brought up something that had been troubling him. "Mom, I know that God intervened and blocked our wedding, and in my heart I have given Lisa up, but that doesn't change everything all at once. What I'm trying to say is, you can't just turn off your feelings, and I really did love Lisa, and I'm sure she felt the same way about me. It's not going to be easy, working with her every day. I wonder how much will power I will have to resist this feeling I have for her. She is a super girl."
"We'll just band together and pray, Donnie. God can make a way for you. Haven't we just witnessed a mighty miracle? Anything less would be as nothing for God to work out."
"I know you're right, Mom. But Lisa and I have been so close. We're so used to seeing each other and waving, or going out of our way to go by where the other is working. Oh, there were just lots of little things that might mean nothing to anyone else, but they were our ways of reminding each other of our love. Suppose I'd forget, or in a weak moment I'd do or say the wrong thing. Oh, Mom, I don't want to make it any harder on her than it already is. Think what she must be going through. She bought so many nice things for the apartment, besides the wedding shower her friends gave her. And then there's her wedding dress ....Poor girl! My heart aches for her."
Mrs. Slocum placed her hand comfortingly on Donnie's arm. "Remember, Lisa is a Christian now, as well as you, and God always makes the difference. Let's just take it one day at a time and trust God. You will be off work for a week, so it will be that long before you have to face this problem, and, by then, you and God can build up lots of resistance. "
But Donnie had not yet exhausted his supply of problems. "I'm expecting to see Lisa at church tomorrow," he began.
"Oh, Donnie, I hadn't thought." His Mom jumped up and gave him a big hug. "It will be so great to have you go to church with me."
"I can't wait for that, Mom, but--How am I to act? As if we'd never met? Or if I'm friendly to her, what will people think?"
"Donnie, God will help you as you face each problem. I'll be praying for you, and I'm sure others will be, too. Just try to be as natural as you can, and leave the rest in God's hands."
Donnie hesitated for some time, then reluctantly broached another unhappy subject. "Mom, I haven't been altogether truthful with you about Sharon. I tried to put all the blame on her, but, actually, I have been mostly to blame. Our situation was somewhat like yours and Dad's. You know that saying, 'A chip off the old block.' After little Christy was born, though I loved our new baby dearly, yet she demanded so much of Sharon's time and energy that I was resentful. Sharon and I hardly ever had any time to ourselves, and when we did, she was always so tired from staying awake at night with Christy and taking care of her during the day, plus all the other chores, that I got sick and tired of it. I started going out at night to get even with her, though it really wasn't her fault. I'm ashamed to tell you this, Mom, but I was unfaithful to Sharon."
"Son, you don't have to tell me these things. This was between you and Sharon and God."
"I know, but I felt I had to come clean with you, Mom, after leading you to believe it was Sharon's fault. It was when she found out about it that she left me. She never trusted me after that. That's why she wouldn't come back to me. I'm sorry I lied to you and put all the blame on Sharon. Oh, she was a little nagger at times, and she had her share of faults, but perhaps she had her reasons too. As a whole, she was much better than I was." Looking into his mom's face, he said, "Forgive me, Mom, for being deceitful. "
"Son, you know you're forgiven," Mrs. Slocum said softly, "but your mother is no fool. I knew there was more to it than appeared on the surface. You see, I know my son quite well, having reared him. I felt sure you weren't telling as much of Donnie's faults and failures as you were of Sharon's. She just didn't seem to be the type that would walk off and leave you without a real good reason. Besides, she loved you so dearly. I knew something had to happen to shake that love."
Both were silent for a while, and then Donnie spoke his thoughts. "I know this is a peculiar time to say what I'm going to say--on what was to have been my wedding night to another--but I'm wondering if Sharon really knew that I had changed, if she would consider giving me another chance. I've pushed the thought of her out of my mind and smothered the love I had for her for so long that it seems almost dead, but perhaps it could be rekindled. When I think of living alone the rest of my life, it scares me. I wonder if I would have the grace to do it."
Mrs. Slocum seemed to be weighing the matter carefully before she spoke. "Son," she answered at last, "God is merciful, but you willingly spurned His mercy for years and committed acts that you knew were against His Word. He has forgiven you and blotted out your sins, but the Word says, 'Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.' Being forgiven cannot save you from reaping the results of your earlier deeds. But this consolation I can give you, if God requires a thing of you, He will also provide the grace to fulfill that requirement."
"Then you don't think there would be a chance of getting Sharon back?"
"1 have no idea about that, Son. I was just considering the thought that perhaps she is married to another by now. Remember, you told me she had a boy friend."
Donnie jumped to his feet and began pacing the floor. He had not thought of that possibility at all. Somehow, he just felt that Sharon would never love another, regardless of what he did. Even though he had seen her with another man, he just knew she couldn't care for him. But what if he was mistaken? After all, he had fallen in love with another. There was a time when he had thought that an impossibility, too.
"But, Mom," he turned to face her. "Your prayers! Don't you believe that God would have kept her from marrying, just as He has me?"
"That remains to be seen, Son. True, I have prayed day and night about this situation. I know Connie has, too. And I've asked others to pray. Perhaps, you're right. Perhaps, God has been working another miracle at the same time He has been working on you."
"Oh, Mom, wouldn't it be wonderful if Sharon has been led to the Lord, too?"
Mr
s. Slocum smiled at the optimism and resilience of youth. "Yes, it would," she responded, but there was sadness in her voice. "Don't get your hopes too high, son. Even if she were saved and you got back together, there would be many difficult adjustments. 1 don't think it could come about very quickly. Your involvement with Lisa, over this past year, only complicates things for you with Sharon, even should she be free. God, alone, is able to handle your situation. It would be God's divine power and mercy if your home is ever restored on a solid foundation. I don't want to discourage you, son, but sin has a payday, and sometimes we have to pay in this life. Let's just band together and pray, and then you move as you feel led of the Spirit, and I'm confident God will lead in this all-important matter."
Long after retiring, Donnie lay awake in the stillness of the night trying to corral his emotions. He had a peace and rest in his soul that was beyond his comprehension, and yet his mind was in a turmoil. He missed Lisa. This was to have been their wedding night. His aching heart and empty arms longed for her, and yet he knew this longing would have to be crucified.
And then there was Sharon. He tried to recapture the fond memories of her that had been so long buried, but always Lisa came between them, and it was only Lisa he could remember. What was ahead for him, he wondered. Would he have to walk life's long road alone? No, he would not be alone. He would walk hand in hand with Jesus.
Sunday morning found Donnie up almost as early as Mrs. Slocum. He usually slept in on Sundays, excusing himself by saying, "I have to catch up on my rest sometime." But not today. He helped his mom get breakfast, after which he washed dishes while she made preparations for lunch.
At half past nine, they were dressed and on their way to church.
"You don't know how this thrills me, Donnie, to have you going to church with me," Mrs. Slocum commented. "I know now how Connie felt to have me go to church with her."
"I'm thrilled, too, Mom. If only I didn't have that thing bothering me."
Mrs. Slocum looked at him, compassion in her eyes. "About Lisa, you mean?" she asked.
"Yes. I wonder how I will react when I see her again. I couldn't get her out of my mind last night."
"Let's pray right now for God to help," his mom suggested as she reverently bowed her head .
"Dear Jesus, look down on us right now and extend help in time of need," she prayed earnestly. "You see this new babe in Christ and how he yearns to obey Thee In every detail of his life. Give him a touch just now and extend to him extra grace today, to be able to resist temptation and to be victorious over sin, the flesh, and the devil, for Thy name's sake. We beseech Thee for wisdom and strength. Bless the service today. Give Thy holy anointing to our pastor. Crown this day with Thy presence and with victory. In Thy name we pray. Amen."
Donnie and Mrs. Slocum sat in the fourth pew from the front to the left. Just as they were seated, Lisa came in with her parents and sat in the second pew to the right.
Never had Donnie seen her more beautiful. Her face fairly glowed from the inner light she had so very recently obtained. Her beautiful dark hair caught the morning sunlight and literally shone. He had never seen the lovely blue dress she wore. He had always liked her in her jeans and pretty tops, but there was no comparison between those and the beautiful dress she wore today. His heart beat so wildly that he wondered if those near him could hear it too.
Donnie forced himself to keep his eyes on the Song Leader, but still his thoughts strayed. He realized then that it was not going to be an easy matter to forget Lisa. Was she enduring the same conflicts, he wondered. Once more he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Her head was held high, and she stared straight ahead, a fixed determination on her countenance. Donnie admired her more at that moment than he ever had. I'll make it as easy for her as I can, if I have to quit my job and move away, he thought. He bowed his head and prayed silently, “Oh, God, if you ever helped a fellow, help me now.”
Soon Donnie became absorbed in the service. The atmosphere seemed charged with excitement. News of the new converts had spread, and there was an expectancy of an outpouring from God.
After the Sunday School hour was over and the song service had begun, God began to bless. Donnie's heart pounded as if it would burst, and tears streamed down his cheeks, while God's blessings engulfed his soul. Only momentarily did he notice Lisa again, and that was when he saw her rise to her feet with her hands raised toward heaven, in adoration to God.
There were shouts of victory and praise all over the congregation. The Holy Ghost had come. People stood to their feet, one after another, giving thanks to God.
Mrs. Slocum stood to testify, her face shining like the face of an angel. When she was able to compose herself enough to speak, she said, "My soul doth magnify the Lord this morning. I'm rejoicing with all my heart in His love, faithfulness, and mercy. He hath done exceedingly above all that I can ask or think. He's a wonderful Savior, a glorious Redeemer. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure, and His power has no boundaries known unto men. Oh, praise the Lord! I can hardly contain the joy that's flooding my soul. I know how the father of the prodigal son felt when his son came home. I can say with him, 'This my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost, and is found!' My son was dead in trespasses and sins and lost unto God, but he has been resurrected to newness of life. He's alive again, thank God. The Good Shepherd sought until He found him. Praise His name forever. I feel like the Father in heaven has killed the fatted calf and we're feasting at His table this morning. Glory, glory, glory." She was lost in adoration to God.
When Mrs. Slocum sat down, Donnie felt the Spirit prompting him to testify, and he rose to his feet, his frame shaking with emotion as he gave his first testimony as a new babe in Christ. "I'm so glad I came home Friday night, not only to my mom's house, where they were praying for me, but I'm glad I came home to my heavenly Father's house. It's wonderful to be a Christian." Hearty "amens" were heard throughout the congregation as he continued. "I wish my twin sister could be here this morning to see the results of her minding the Lord." Then a sudden thought struck him. He looked over the congregation until he spotted Mrs. Flowers, with her face bathed in tears. "Mrs. Flowers," he said, "I want to thank you for your faithfulness in helping to bring salvation to our house. God bless you for your untiring efforts." Looking down at his mother beside him, Donnie continued, "I feared Mom's prayers like a rattlesnake. I felt them day and night. I'm so thankful she didn't give up on me. I want to thank all of you for every prayer you've prayed for me. I mean to be true to God from here on out."
After many other victorious testimonies and more praises to God, the service was dismissed and the saints of God went to their respective homes, much encouraged in God and His Willingness to answer prayer.