CHAPTER FIVE
Donnie spent most of his time at the hospital with his mother. His presence was a great comfort to her, and there were many helpful little things he could do. One day as he sat quietly by her bedside, he noticed how much she had improved during the ten days he had been there. He was pleased not only for her sake, but for himself, also. He hoped he could soon have a heart-to-heart talk with her.
Mrs. Slocum broke the silence. "Donnie, as you can see, I'm doing nicely now. You'll never know what a morale-booster your coming has been, but I realize you can't stay forever. I'm moving to the Pine Sapling Rest Horne next week, so you can feel free to return to your wife and baby any time now."
Donnie gulped, "You say you're moving to the rest home? Are you kidding?"
"No, Donnie, I'm serious. The liability insurance covers the cost of the rest home, and I can get proper care there until I'm able to walk again and resume my normal duties. "
"Why, that's absurd, Mom. I can't let you go to the rest home."
Mrs. Slocum smiled and reached over and patted his hand.
"Then what do you propose to do, son? Take me back for your dear little wife to take care of while you're working? You know how impossible that would be."
"I'll stay here and take care of you, myself. I owe it to you. You took care of me when I had my wreck."
"Donnie, I appreciate your consideration," she said, tears welling up in her eyes, "but this is different. I had Connie to help take care of you, and Ralph helped us tremendously. I wouldn't think of letting you take care of me alone. Besides, you have a family to see after and a job to hold."
"But Mom--but Mom--" Donnie swallowed and dropped his head. Should he tell her the truth now? Would she be strong enough to stand the shock?
Mrs. Slocum was speaking again. "Donnie, I have prayed much about my situation and feel I have the leadership of the Spirit. Dear Sister Flowers offered to let me move in with her, and others from the church have offered assistance. Ralph even offered to come over every evening after work and help out. But with these casts on my legs I'll be terribly helpless. I feel like the rest home is the best place for me now. It's not as if I'd have to pay for everything, myself. All my bills will be paid. The insurance will take care of me until I'm completely well."
"But, Mom," Donnie protested. "It doesn't seem right for you to have to go to the nursing home. I could--"
"No, Donnie," Mrs. Slocum said firmly. "I have made up my mind, and I feel that God has helped me to come to this decision."
Donnie noticed the tears glistening in her eyes. Perhaps it had been a hard decision; nevertheless, she seemed fully committed to it. Dear Mom! How he hated to add any more burdens to her already heavy load. Well, he wouldn't, he decided. He'd just continue on with his deception for now.
"Mom, I've decided to give up my job and stay here awhile," he lied. "I'll look for work here, then after I get a job, Sharon and Christy can come here to live. They're enjoying their little vacation with her parents. The only thing is that the grandparents are spoiling little Christy too much. But as for me being here, Sharon is very understanding, especially since Connie is so far away."
"But, Donnie, you have such a good job," his mother remonstrated. "You know how hard it is to find good jobs these days."
"I'll find something, Mom. 'Where there's a will, there's a way.' Anyway, Ralph says they may soon have an opening where he works. He thinks he can use his influence to help me get on."
This led Mrs. Slocum to ask, "Have you had a chance to visit with Ralph much? He sure thinks lots of you."
"He's been over to the house a couple of times, and I've talked to him some here at the hospital," Donnie answered.
"Ralph's a great guy," Mrs. Slocum commented. "A genuine Christian gentleman."
"Uh-huh," Donnie grunted.
They lapsed into silence again, and before long Mrs. Slocum had dozed off. Left to his own thoughts, Donnie leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. So! Ralph's a great guy. And what am I? A no-good-for-nothing bum, I suppose, if anybody is comparing. Donnie remembered his embarrassment when Ralph had come to the house to visit.
"Ralph, you've been a good friend for years," he said, “and I don't want to deliberately offend you. But if you knew all my circumstances you wouldn't be so critical of me. You have a good wife to come home to at night, and you have Chad. You have a little house you're paying for. You have a good job and spending money in your pocket. You have your health, and you don't have to walk around with a limp. You don't have to walk the floor at night wondering what's going to happen to you next, wondering what your wife's doing, wondering if your baby is sick or in need.. Sure. you can go around looking down your nose at me. I could, too, if I were in your shoes. You--"
"Hey, wait just a minute, Donnie. I'm truly sorry for all your trouble. I had no idea things were so bad with you. And, honestly, I didn't come here to criticize you.
Giving Donnie a helpless look, Ralph changed the subject. "Do I understand you're without a job, Donnie?"
"Yes, they fired me just because I missed a couple days and was a little late a few times."
"Are you interested in working where I work?"
"I'd take anything I can get. I'm desperate."
"I heard there's going to be an opening soon in the hardware department of the store. It probably won't pay much to start out with, but if you're interested, go down and put in your application, and I'll see if I can put in a word for you."
"I'd appreciate that, Ralph."
"There's only one catch," Ralph said, his eyes twinkling as he smiled at Donnie.
"And what is the catch?" Donnie asked warily.
"That you'll go to church with me."
Donnie jumped to his feet. "Then forget it, Ralph. I don't intend to go to church."
Ralph's smile faded. "I'll help you, regardless, Donnie. I've always considered you my best friend-that is, as far as earthly friends are concerned. My very best friend is Jesus. He is the reason I have a home, a good family, and a job. No telling where I'd be if it had not been for my dear friend, Jesus."
Donnie was visibly agitated. He knew he had to do something to get rid of Ralph before he broke down entirely. He headed for the kitchen, saying, "Let's have a drink, Ralph."
Ralph followed, little expecting the type of drink Donnie intended to offer him.
Donnie popped the lid off a beer bottle and held it out. "Here, have a drink." Never would he forget the hurt look on Ralph's face.
"Donnie," Ralph began hesitantly. "I know you're already mad at me, but I feel I must say what I'm about to say."
"Say on." Donnie shrugged indifferently and began guzzling down his beer.
Ralph placed his arm about Donnie's shoulders as he spoke. "You've got one of the best moms in the world, Donnie. It would break her heart to find beer in her refrigerator."
"Don't worry, chum. She'll never find it," Donnie had answered.
He knew Ralph was really shaken as he bade him goodnight, but it served him right, Donnie thought. No one invited him over to tend to my business.
Shaking his head as if that would rid it of unpleasant memories, Donnie opened his eyes and looked at his mom. She was sleeping peacefully. He walked softly out of the room and down to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee.
"Ralph will probably reconsider his offer in helping me get a job now," he told himself as he sipped the bitter black coffee. "I wonder what I ought to do. My unemployment checks will help for a while. I guess I should send Sharon some money, but she's acted so snippy toward me lately--I think I'll just let her suffer."
And Christy, too? 'the voice of conscience chided him.
"Her grandparents won't let her suffer," he answered his accusing conscience.
He finished his coffee, smiled at the pretty cashier as he paid his bill, then headed slowly for the elevator.
Mrs. Slocum was awake when he got back to her room.
"Have you talked
to Sharon lately?" she asked, her voice full of concern.
"Yes." He wasn't lying this time. He had called her to tell her where he was and to leave his phone number in case of an emergency.
"I won't be needing your phone number, Donnie," she had replied. "As far as Christy and I are concerned, you can go back to your little lipstick cutie. We're through."
"But, Sharon--" He wanted to try to reason with her.
"Good-bye, Donnie," she had said flatly and hung up, leaving Donnie feeling like a whipped puppy.
His mom was speaking again, interrupting his unhappy thoughts.
"I had a peculiar burden settle down on me awhile ago, Donnie. It seems to have something to do with Sharon. Perhaps you and Sharon. Is something wrong, son? Are you hiding something from me?"
Donnie knew he couldn't keep it from his mom any longer. Besides, he needed someone to talk to. He decided it was time to come clean.
"Sharon left me, Mom. She says she's through."
The shocked look on his mother's face made him drop his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Mom. We just couldn't seem to get along."
"But Sharon has many good qualities, Donnie. And you have to think of Christy. Besides, the Bible says that a marriage contract is unto death."
Donnie was provoked that the Bible and religion had to be brought into every conversation. Heartlessly, he blurted out, "Looks like you're not obeying the Bible, Mom. Have you forgotten you're divorced?"
Mrs. Slocum's wounded look revealed the pain his sarcastic comment had inflicted.
"I've had many regrets, son," she answered humbly. "If I had gotten saved before your dad left me, maybe God would have given me wisdom to know how to hold our marriage together. I'm sure I was partly to blame for our split-up. I'm sure I wasn't the ideal wife at that point. So I'll admit I had my faults, but your dad had another lover, so I was helpless to turn things around without help from God." She looked at Donnie, longing for understanding.
After a little silence, she went on. "Son, I never have told you twins how dearly I loved your dad. It broke my heart and tore my life to shreds when he rejected me for another. I allowed that love to turn to bitterness after I lost him. That's why I never wanted him around or wanted you to visit him. I ask your forgiveness for that, for he was your dad, regardless of what he did to me. I wish there were some way I could make up to you and Connie for the failures in my life, in rearing you. I can only ask your forgiveness. It has been a hard row to hoe, alone and without God. But my dear Lord has taken that deep-seated bitterness out of my heart. I'm so thankful that He did, for it was like a cancer eating away at my very being."
A volunteer came into the room, offering magazines to read. When she had gone, Mrs. Slocum said, "Hand me my Bible, please, Donnie."
Very reluctantly, he obliged.
As Mrs. Slocum looked in the concordance, she explained her purpose. "The marriage vows are very sacred, Donnie. I want to show you what the. Bible says about it." Seeing his sullen look, she added, "I hope you won't be angry with me. I'm trying to save you from lifelong heartache and regret."
Donnie barely nodded.
"Here in the nineteenth chapter of Matthew, in verses five and six, Jesus says that a husband and wife are one flesh and 'what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.' And here in Luke 16:18 He said, 'Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.' Then 1 Corinhians 6:9-10 tells us that adulterers, the same as thieves and drunkards, cannot enter the kingdom of God."
Mrs. Slocum closed the Bible. Her hand moved reverently and lovingly over the soft black cover as she said, “So, according to this old book, Donnie, only death should separate you and Sharon."
"Why preach at me? I didn't leave her, she left me," Donnie lashed out angrily. "I guess it would serve her right if I did marry someone else."
"But, Donnie, you'll have to. give an account to God some day. And in Romans 7:2-3 the Word tells us that the woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives, and if while her husband is living she marries another man she shall be called an adulteress. Only if her husband dies is she free from that law. Of course that goes both ways, for the man as well as the woman. If Sharon is bound to you, that makes you bound to her. Oh, Donnie," Mrs. Slocum implored, tears coursing down her cheeks, "doesn't that shake you up and give you a desire to do everything in your power to try to save your marriage?"
Donnie's face clearly showed his irritation. He did not want the Bible condemning his marital affairs.
At the same time, he really didn't want to make things any harder for his mom. He knew her life had been rough.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, Mom," he apologized. "You're the best mom in the whole world and you have been both a father and a mother to Connie and me. Noone knows any better than we do what you've been through." He reached over and hugged her. "I'm glad you've found happiness at last. I wish I could find it somewhere."
"You can find it, son - in Jesus, just like I did. Oh, Donnie, why don't you give Him a chance? He can help you save your home. He can workmiracles for you."
"Here comes your lunch, Mom." Donnie was glad for the interruption. He rolled up the head of the bed and took the tray from the side, placing it where his mother could get to it.
Mrs. Slocum bowed her head and asked the blessing, then began to slowly pick at the food.
"Oh, yes, I almost forgot to tell you," she looked up at Donnie as she spoke. "Ralph called and said for you to come down this afternoon and put in your application."
"Then he's not mad?" Donnie could have bitten off his tongue the minute the words were out.
Mrs. Slocum looked at him in surprise. "Of course not. Why did you think he would be mad?"
"Oh-uh-well-we had a few words over religion. He was trying to make me promise I would go to church with him. I get sick of people cramming religion down my throat all the time. I'm about ready to pack my bags and leave."
Mrs. Slocum kept picking at the food, a sad look on her face. After a few minutes she said, "Donnie, if you can eat any of this, I wish you would. It's paid for and no use wasting it. I can't eat it."
"I don't want it either," he said.
He removed the tray at her request, rolled her bed back down, and picked up the newspaper. Seating himself across the room, he hid behind the paper and pretended to read, but the printed lines ran together and nothing he read made sense. He was tired, sleepy, and disgusted. Disgusted more with himself than anyone else. What a mess he had made of things! He wished he had never been born. What did life hold for him? Nothing, absolutely nothing. He dropped the paper, and rested his head on the back of the chair. In a little while he dropped off to sleep and began to dream.
Christy was walking toward him with her little chubby arms outstretched. "Da-da," she was saying. Then she stopped, and her arms dropped to her side. A scowl appeared on her face and she put her tiny hands on her lips. "No, no, not my da-da. I have a new da-da." He awoke with a start. Even his dreams added to the torture of his mind, Did this dream have any significance? he wondered. Did Sharon have a boy friend? No, he wouldn't believe it. She still belonged to him, and it was . . . it was . . . "until death do us part."
He folded the paper and stood up. His mother was lying very still. A twinge of shame pricked Donnie's heart as he noticed that a cloud of sadness covered her usually cheery face.
"Mom?" He spoke softly.
"Yes, son."
"I'm going downtown awhile. I want to put in my application for the job Ralph mentioned."
"Go ahead, son. I'll be fine. Take your time and get you a bite to eat while you're out. You're looking thin."
"I love you, Mom," he whispered.
Tears came into her eyes as she answered, "I love you too, son. Be careful, now."