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But nothing about this situation was.
“Do you want to come in?” he murmured.
She nodded and took a big step into his domain. Quietly, she shut the door behind her, then stepped closer.
“I’m glad you knocked. I—I have something to say and … If you require me to step aside, if you need that to believe that I love you . . . ” He pressed his lips together, paused. “I await your Renunciation. ”
His words nearly yanked her heart from her chest. In a few short words, he’d erased most of her doubts. Yes, she supposed it could be another ploy … but Ice didn’t seem the type. Straight and to the point, without subterfuge. One of the things she loved about him.
“Thank you,” she choked. “I’m sorry it’s … ended like this. Your cooperation for the cause—”
“I’m not relinquishing you to that wanking MacTavish for the cause. It’s for you. I don’t want you at odds with your brother. I feel every day without Gailene, and I won’t have you suffering his loss. Your sense of duty to magickind would eventually bring you to regret becoming my mate if following your heart cost lives. I don’t want you bearing that burden, either. I won’t go in happiness, but I will go in peace, knowing that your family and conscience will be mollified and magickind served. ”
Was it enough for him? The sad answer was all over his face.
Sabelle’s heart crumbled all over again.
“I truly am sorry. ”
“You are many things, princess. ” He took her hand, clasped her fingers in his warm, strong ones. “Among them, too kind to hurt me on purpose. ”
Yet she was hurting him all the same. The air between them, the knowledge that this would be the last moment she was ever alone with him, ever allowed to touch him, was like a funeral dirge for her heart.
“Kiss me?”
Ice tensed, every muscle frozen. “I don’t have the will-power to stop at kissing you. ”
Another chance to be in Ice’s arms sounded heavenly. Tomorrow, she would give her future to another. The few precious hours that remained of tonight was theirs.
“I don’t have the willpower to resist. ” Her voice shook.
He said nothing more, just looked into her eyes like she was the sun, his forever. A bittersweet smile stretched across his face.
Then he stepped back. “If you go to him tomorrow morning after spending the night with me, he will scent it. He will know. ”
A valid point, and one she should have considered. Lucan’s decision to mate with her required sacrifice on his part as well, giving up all hope of ever reconciling with Anka. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to care that Lucan would know she’d lain in Ice’s arms. They both needed this last night to treasure what might have been before they faced a cold dawn.
“He’ll know my feelings for you no matter what I do tonight. The mate bond and its sacred words will prevent us from ever having this moment again. Please … don’t say no. ”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SAY NO? IMPOSSIBLE. WHEN it came to pleasing Sabelle, Ice could refuse her nothing.
He locked gazes with her, staring into the blue oceans of need and sorrow, straight into the shining light of her soul. Never had he known someone like her, so good and true. Kind. Real. Never would he forget a moment with her.
Tonight, he would have to make memories to last the rest of his life. Her torn expression said she would be doing the same.
Drawing in a shaky breath, he caressed his way down her arm, a slow brush of fingers, then laced his fingers in hers, giving her hand a squeeze.
She squeezed back. “Thank you. I know I’ve asked a great deal of you. ”
“There is nothing I have that I wouldn’t gladly share with you. ”
Her face softened, and she cupped his cheek, clearly fighting tears. She barely won the battle. Her valiant effort touched him, though she needn’t have fought at all. He would love her regardless.
With slow steps, he led her to his bed, glad they were making this last memory here, where he could lie at night and remember every soft sigh and treasured touch.
When they reached the edge of the bed, Ice lifted her pale sweater, palming his way up her torso, brushing her breasts, raising the garment over her head. She emerged a moment later, all tousled golden hair and trembling mouth. Again, he marveled that she could love him. And he cursed the fate destined to tear them apart.
Sabelle caressed his chest, hand trailing down his abdomen, until she reached the hem of his shirt and drew it up and away.
The need to touch her everywhere, all at once, jolted him. He pulled her against him, chest to chest, hampered only by the delicate lace of her bra. The warm press of skin made him sizzle, even as he drew in a shaking breath.
“Princess . . . ” Ice began, but he had no words. What was there to say?
“I know. ” She sniffed. “But I won’t cry tonight. I simply want to be with you. ”
Somehow, it would have to be enough.
Ice nodded, pushing aside the futility and rage beating at his heart, and gave himself to her. Everything good and hopeful and loving he’d been storing in his heart since Gailene’s death he swore he’d give her tonight.
Below him, her lush pink lips beckoned, and he fused their mouths together, a brush, a breath, a sigh. With every kiss, he tasted the rightness of her on his tongue. Certainty shivered down his spine, rocking him to his core. No matter what words she spoke with Lucan in a few short hours, she was his.
And he would forevermore be hers.
Filtering his fingers through her soft curls, he cupped her head, brought her closer, dipped his head for another kiss, let her sumptuous taste slide across his senses again. She moaned, then peppered his face with slow, reverent presses of her lips. Ice felt the devotion pouring off her, and she humbled him all over again.
His fingers trembled as he unclasped her bra, slid her jeans down her slender hips, brushed away her knickers, baring her. He’d never seen a more beautiful woman, true. But now he saw not just the golden-haired siren who had inherited the ability to ensnare any man with her wiles, but the angel inside who called to him with every move and breath.
Sabelle helped him out of his camouflage pants as he toed off his boots. Finally, they stood together, naked, heart to heart. He yearned to gobble her up quickly, but forced himself to savor her. Rarely was he given to indecision, but tonight … how could he reassure her he would always be here for her, yet send her to do her duty without leaving her to suffer guilt and regret for what could not be?
In the end, Sabelle guided him, lying back against the silken black sheets, arms raised to him. The easiest—and hardest—act in the world was to slide into those waiting arms and possess her parted lips again.
She opened like a flower to sunlight, her arms closing around him, her legs parting beneath him. He flowed over her, spreading heat and joy, as he caressed the soft mound of her breast, the graceful swell of her hip, then took her thigh in hand and lifted it to his side. She opened willingly.
An urge to take in every part of Sabelle rolled over him. Ice whispered butterfly kisses down her jaw, her neck, to the curves of her breasts. Hard nipples awaited, a treat he didn’t resist. A stroke of his tongue, a pull of his mouth, and she moaned for him, arching to him, both seeking and offering succor.
Down her body he moved, dragging his tongue over the long, flat expanse of her abdomen. The creamy flavor of her skin, the sunshine scent, all mingled with the tart-sweet hint of her desire. The combined perfumes rushed to his head, and he delved deeper, where he feasted on her, lapping the concentrated essence of her desire for him. With patience and reverent kisses, he drew her higher, higher, joying to the feel of her tense hips in his hands and her pleas to fill her, to love her.
For a few bittersweet moments he resisted her siren call, content to shower her with pleasure, gratified when she reached the peak once, then again. Still, he didn’t want to leave h
er, but he could not deny her breathy cries to become one with her.
Slowly he kissed his way up her body, cupping her bottom as he flowed into her, Sabelle’s tight sheath closing around him in a caress of hot silk, a ripple of pleasure. Ice shuddered as Sabelle surrounded him everywhere, as if he felt her inside him, soothing his pained heart, glorying in these last few hours together. He frowned, wondering if she was using her siren abilities to make him feel whatever she wished, then realized no. It was simply her.
“Ice . . . ” She touched his face, looked straight up into his eyes.
The jolt reached all the way to his heart as he slid deep into her body once more.
They remained like that, connected gazes, bodies, and hearts until she cried out beneath him, rosy cheeks flushed, pleasure transforming her face into the most beautiful sight ever. Then he joined her in a shimmering world of passion, the crash of it washing through his body as he poured his devotion and seed into her, lighting up his heart, where he knew she would stay forever.
Sabelle drew in a shuddering breath, and her eyes fluttered shut as a look of sublime peace settled over her. And he felt it too. The perfect moment. For this brief second in time, they could simply share a heart and a soul, and be one.
She drifted off to sleep cocooned in his arms, and he watched her, unmoving, as the hours slipped away. Having grown up in these caves, he’d developed a keen sense of time despite the lack of windows. He held her tighter as dawn approached, the sun rising to the day that would change everything between them forever.
Ice shifted to her side, pillowing her head on his chest, gripping her tighter. The gesture was futile. The black chasm of today and all his future days roared in, and Ice clenched his eyes shut against the reality. What the hell was he going to do with the rest of his life now besides fight and secretly hope that someday, somehow, she found her way back to his side?
Sabelle woke in Ice’s arms. She knew it even before she opened her eyes. The strong arms, the pine and musk scent, the way he latched on to her as if he’d never let go. The feeling of joy and security like no other.
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes, faced the world, and found Ice studying her. Grief shadowed his eyes, the hollows of his cheeks, the pinch of his mouth.
She swallowed. “It’s time, isn’t it?”
He nodded and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “Sa-belle, I—”
Pressing her lips to his, she stopped his words. “If you speak, I will only cry. And there is nothing we can say . . . ”
Ice set his jaw, then nodded once. “When are you supposed to go to MacTavish?”
“As soon as I wake. ”
How she wished she had another few centuries to spend with Ice. But they didn’t have even a few hours. Magickind might well depend on Lucan filling MacKinnett’s vacant Council seat before Mathias somehow talked his way into it.
“If you’d like a shower, there’s one through that door. ” He pointed across the room.
She didn’t, actually. She’d rather let the scent of Ice cling to her as long as possible, revel in it for as long as she could. But it would be disrespectful to Lucan and do nothing but cause more strife between her brother and the man she loved.
“Thank you. ”
With wooden movements, she climbed into the sleek, black tiled box. Reluctantly, she lifted the soap to wash away the traces of Ice from her body. But she couldn’t. Forehead against the cold tile, warm water beating down on her back, she clutched the slick, foaming bar and sobbed. In that moment, she hated her brother, hated the bloodline she’d been born to that forced duty and responsibility upon her. She hated being needed.
Still, it changed nothing, and that fact tore her heart in a hundred irreparable pieces with each tear.
Suddenly, she felt cool air, then a warm presence at her back blocking the spray of water. She felt more than saw Ice as he wrapped his arms around her and gently pried the soap from her hands.
He bathed her in slow strokes, carefully washing every inch of her, then grabbing the shampoo, lathered and rinsed her hair.
When he’d finished, he turned her to face him. “Say the word, and I will fight for you. Your brother, Lucan . . . ”
The world assumed the big warrior was mad, but she saw the facade. He hid behind it, shutting off his caring and warmth. Because no one would believe it? Because he feared being hurt once more? Either way, she loved the man she’d uncovered. Her heart praised him with every beat.
“We’ve been over it,” she said finally. “I should have known there were too many obstacles, too few possibilities before I fell for you. I will treasure every moment—”
Ice stopped her words with a kiss. “I will as well. ”
Clenching his jaw, he tossed his head back, eyes closed. Sabelle melted as Ice fought tears of his own.
“Come. ” He drew her from the shower and toweled her off, then pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “No matter what, I am here for you. ”
She nodded and dressed as he did the same, then combed her hair. Exhaustion washed through her, along with the drag of despair. Today, she would be mated—an occasion she should await with great joy. Now, she could muster nothing but the urge to cling to Ice and cry again.