Ratie and everyone sat silently as they flew back to the portal to Permea. They made their way back and then came out of the Gade tree. They flew back to Hamcer as fast as they could. Once there they went to a private chalet of Mench’s called Bawas and as everyone grabbed a seat on the back deck as Mench was inside fixing some dinner.
The chalet was Y shaped and rose up 500 yards high with 7 decks on various floors that went all the way around. It was made from stark white marble and had a massive golden picture of Mench on the front with her face painted to a scary likeness that covered the entire side. There was also several turquoise and orange bubbles floating around the outside that were filled with precast spells and could be activated with a thought by Mench. There were 6 towers on top of the chalet that rose up into the clouds with 50 foot flaming trains encircling them at tremendous speed being driven by black ghostly figures. Around the back of the chalet was a massive green grass lawn with 7 large trees filled with wooden and marble tree houses scattered around it. There was the Bloodlet ocean in front of the castle as it sat in a round cove that had several other large chalets lining its shores. Mench also had a pair of Meheluxs in front hovering above the ground on a cushion of air.
The back deck had a 40 foot wide sitting area with 4 and a half foot white and blue spotted guardrail that had Mench’s face inside of white wooden 2 foot wide circles every 3 feet. There were 4 long white
and green stripped leather couches situated on the deck facing out over the lawn and also the Brapas mountains. There were several black robots walking around the deck and many doing the yard work. The deck had dozens of amenities built into it that would rise up at the touch of a button like refrigerators and warm food filled cases.
Everyone was sitting on the couches that included Harci, Famaron, Solcrist, Ratie, Ohgood, Mench, and Penn Bottle.
“ Mench, your home stinks of class and dignity. So much so that my nostrils are inflamed and my back hurts,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he breathed in heavily and crinkled his nose.
Mench and Ratie laughed and Mench asked,” Why would your back hurt?”
“ The uppity nature of your home tightens the poor boy muscles in my back so much so I’m seeing the color red and feeling an ungodly ache. Someone punch me quick, Make it end!” said Ohgood sarcastically in a deep voice as he pushed his chest forward.
Then Mench punched him hard in the arm and she said,” There you little brat! You just felt my wrath, was it good for you?” asked Mench slyly as she and Ratie laughed and Ohgood shook his head and frowned.
“ Oh it was great, the visceral experience of your friendship has no bounds. I must return the favor,” said Ohgood in a deep voice as he straightened his back and then ever so gently punched Mench in the shoulder and then asked honestly,” hey, Famaron, where’d you get the fancy staff?”
“ Huh,” said Famaron softly then he looked down at the staff of Spash’s and grabbed it and said,” where did this come from I ah…, I have never seen this staff in my life”
“ Where could it have come from?” asked Ratie as she laughed and rubbed on a thin smoke that was a sun block.
“ I don’t know, ah…wait I remember. When I was in Spash castle I must have grabbed his staff in all the excitement when I ran for it. Wow it really is an ornate staff. I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Famaron as he rolled it in his hands and looked at the design.
“ Try a spell with it to see how powerful it is,” said Ohgood then he shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
“ Ah that’s a good idea, I’ll do just that. Let me try a simple spell, something small ah, I’ve got it,” said Famaron as he thought of different spells and then stood up and shook out his arms then raised his staff and shouted,” Bear soup beloop!”
Then 50 feet in front of him on the lawn a massive cauldron of smoke, fire, and flashing blue and green lights appeared that were 800 feet high. Then out of it walked a 600 foot tall blue and red stripped teddy bear holding a massive silver and steel glowing turquoise sword. It had massive round green eyes with circular clouds of smoke in front of them. On its back was a bow and arrow that was black in color.
“ That wasn’t supposed to happen was it?” asked Ohgood as he looked at the bear with a stunned look on his face.
“ No it wasn’t, I was trying to put a 15 foot one on the grass as a joke,” said Famaron as he walked up to the railing and gazed up at the teddy bear.
“ Well nobody’s laughing now. Let’s see that staff,” said Solcrist then Famaron waited a second then glanced over and gave it to him.
Solcrist looked at the engraving that showed the making of the staff of Simis and then began feeling the gold outer shell of the staff with both hands.
“ What are you doing, Solcrist?” asked Mench as she squinted at Solcrist.
Then he grinned slightly and nodded as he continued to feel the outside of the staff as everyone moved closer.
“ I don’t get it, what is he doing? Has his mind finally snapped?” asked Ratie as she grimaced and rubbed her shoulders.
“ He’s onto something, give him a minute,” said Famaron as he looked over at Solcrist who only nodded and continued pressing in on the staff.
“ Is it a secret route to snack bar, cause if so that’s where I’m headed,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he rubbed his hands together and smirked and let out a brief yell.
Then Mench laughed and Solcrist pressed hard in a groove and suddenly the deck began to shake and the gold encrusted staff began to have gold pieces fall off. In a matter of seconds all of the gold had fallen off and revealed a red staff with a series of phrases written on it in silver like,” The only can hold me high,” and another read,” When the last of us falls, up will rise the fallen and build over what we coveted so dear.”
“ What in the sex is that?” asked Ratie in disbelief as she looked at Solcrist who was inspecting the staff.
Then a stream of orange and green triangles shot out of the staff in every direction and seared the face of Simis the Terrible onto the walls of the chalet as well as the floors.
Simis the Terrible was an ancient wizard who ran afoul of the wizard community after beginning to terrorize many wizards and kill many more. He was thusly cast out and began his own wizard community in the plains beyond the Jamgoo mountains with 50 women and 50 men. They lived in peace there for 20 years and many children were spawned. Then one day Simis began fashioning a new staff from a glowing red liquid magic known as Spucpudy. The Spucpudy was very rare and very powerful. After finishing the creation of the staff he set about trying it out on himself by casting a spell that threw him into the Sorplecs Realm and trapped him behind the Hield. He’s been there ever since plotting his return to Permea.
“ What you are seeing, Ratie, is the staff of Simis. Now this is a rare find,” said Solcrist as he stared at the staff and smiled as he held it.
“ I’ve heard of that, but I thought that was supposed to be hidden on Parscan somewhere, how’d it get here?” asked Ohgood as he looked at the staff in wonderment.
“ Thieves, Ohgood, a find like this would draw a lot of attention. So the ones who found it kept it to themselves and left Parscan for the warm bosom of Permea, but they overlooked happenstance. Famaron, your stroke of luck with the Seav’s is now 2 fold with an even greater prize. With this staff it gives us options in the coming war,” said Solcrist firmly then he tossed the staff to Famaron and smirked.
“ Any option is welcome at this point. The question I have is should we spread the power around?” asked Famaron as he inspected the staff and then looked at everyone.
“ It’s a good question it might be smart to have someone else wear the Seav glasses and then one person couldn’t be easily targeted,” said Mench as she raised her eyebrows and paced back and forth.
&n
bsp; “ But who would it be, and where do we put them in relation to the staff of Simis? Because it will knock out every wizard’s power including yours?” asked Ohgood as he looked intently at Famaron.
“ Wait ah minute, I think the Seav’s only work if you’re wearing them. Ratie, put on the Seav’s and I’ll cast a spell?” said Famaron as he walked over and took the Seav’s out of a box just inside the door on a mahogany circular table to the left and then walked outside and handed them to Ratie and said,” here let’s try it.”
“ Alright, but these better not explode because of the staff of Simis,” said Ratie as she put on the glasses and then said quickly,” let’s see it.”
Famaron grabbed the staff of Simis and raised it and shouted,” A kindles mind can’t ride the sky!”
Then a black anti-gravity motorcycle formed around Famaron’s body that had forward and side golden jet thrusters and a dozen laser canons on the front. It also had a holographic red orb encircling the bottom half that made it look like it was on fire. The vehicle was known as an Evapo and also had a dense magic whip on the front and was operated by a red joystick in front of Famaron.
“ It didn’t work, what does that mean? Are the Seav’s broken?” asked Ratie as she took off the Seav’s and inspected them and squinted while she grimaced.
“ Quick, Ohgood, try a spell with your staff as Ratie wears the glasses,” said Solcrist sternly.
“ Alright, not a problem,” said Ohgood then he grabbed his staff and spun it in his hand and did a spin himself and then raised it and shouted,” Emilo frenco gudya!”
Then a puff of smoke came out of the staff and then was suddenly sucked back in and Mench said sarcastically,” Gee, Ohgood, you’re not the wizard I thought you were. Maybe we should just be friends. I need a man with talents not shortcomings.”
Ohgood looked over at her in shock as he grinned and then said sarcastically,” Well, granted my skills are not entirely there, but I love you, Mench, well maybe just the idea of you as my safety in case I can’t
find a hottie. But there’s still the idea of you I’ll always cling to and laugh about as I date every available woman I can find. It was always you, Menchy, only none of the time.”
“ You little brat, I outta break your muscled neck,” said Mench playfully as she looked at Ohgood wide eyed then gently punched his left arm.
“ Could you two stop for a second we’re in the middle of something?” asked Famaron honestly as he looked at Ohgood.
“ Oh is that one of your turn ons, you strangle me to death for your own satisfaction. Well I’m into it, but only if I get to squeeze the life out of you first. Then all bets are off, granted it won’t be much fun getting’ it on with your dead body, but I’m kinky and I’ll work that kink right out of your lifeless neck, that’s a promise,” said Ohgood sarcastically then he saw Mench annoyed expression and burst out laughing.
“ Could we please have…” said Famaron before being cut off.
“ Listen up you hunched back great ass perfect teeth son of a sack of turd. I won’t have you besmirching my good neck. Only kind hands have any business working the kinks out of my beautifully smooth and sexy neck! Now listen up round bottom, I’m gonna get you naked someday and we’re gonna join together for a good 9 hours. And when it’s over you won’t remember your own name and you’ll feel dirty and ashamed that we didn’t do it sooner! So watch it,” said Mench sarcastically in a serious tone as she glared at Ohgood and Ratie laughed.
“ Look we must plan our attack spare us the unending levity,” pleaded Solcrist as he tried to separate the two of them, but Ohgood pushed him gently aside.
“ If there’s a woman for me it’s hue and I do mean the color namely magenta. I’ve had a love affair with it all my life that’s why I can’t commit to you, Menchy. If only your hair was magenta, maybe then the 2 could become one,” said Ohgood as he rocked his arms like he was holding a baby and pretended to play with it.
“ What kind of turd is this? I fight day after day for a really weird man and you throw this at me. I like you and this is the reason I get up every morning, hair dye. I love it and we need it. Wait and see sweet cheeks,” said Mench sarcastically as she grinned ear to ear and pretended to kiss a small baby in front of her.
Famaron laughed hard and Solcrist glared at him and Famaron threw up his arms and then said happily,” I’m sorry, but this is hilarious.”
“ Oh you are all incorrigible. The world could end and you’re joking in the open air as I weep,” said Solcrist as he frowned and walked back and forth.
Ohgood looked over at him and then blew him a kiss and then turned to Mench and said jokingly,” The world’s ending, let’s hurry up with the freakin’ hair dye.”
“ I’ll be back and in no mood for excuses, lover,” said Mench then she kissed Ohgood hard on the mouth and began to leave.
Ohgood looked around and nodded and said,” Ya know it actually wasn’t bad. I’ll have to reassess this whole thing.”
Then Mench went in the chalet and everyone was smiling at Ohgood and Harci asked,” You look happy, Ohgood, isn’t that all anyone wants from life?”
“ Yeah, it is, Harci,” said Ohgood happily as he grinned and thought of Mench.
Then Solcrist slammed his staff into the deck and said sternly,” Let us talk of war. The Seav’s don’t affect the staff of Simis then the person wearing them has the responsibility to wield that staff. Now the rest of us will only be able to use laser canons and explosives when you have them on, which means the Sorplecs need to be kept in one place by using a trapping spell. Then we can either kill them or send them back to where they came.”
“ The only problem with that is the Hield will soon be destroyed and there will be no way to fix it. So it’s this, the Sorplecs and whatever other beasts come racing out of the Hield during the Corementh will have to be killed without hesitation. Does anyone have a problem with this, if so let us hear about it before the time for action arrives?” asked Ohgood sternly as he gave everyone a serious look to which they nodded no and smiled.
“ Then we are ready and we are what we say we are,” said Famaron as a cocky grin came across his face.
“ Which is?” asked Ratie slyly as she smiled and pointed to Famaron.
“ Wizards, and the most lethal ones at that. Let me go check on the status of the Hield on the other side of the house,” said Famaron then he hurried into the chalet’s room of antique clocks and gold encrusted games like Posputy, which was an electronic 2 person game that involved fighting against each other’s armies of tiny golden robots and tanks in and around a dense green jungle that also had a trio of white marble castles and a statue of Gadi.
Gadi was a 208th century lunatic who would shout at random people horrible insults and was often seen at Rmgee fountain talking quietly to it and laughing loudly. Many believed he was insane until one day a pair of young adults approached him with a plate of dinner that included a large cooked and cut steak and a healthy helping of whipped potatoes and gravy as well as a piece of pie. Gadi stopped talking
for a moment then ate ravenously. After he’d finished he turned to the statue and asked,” Should I tell them,” and then laughed and said happily,” here are the answers you’ve been searching for,” to which the 2 young adults laughed and then he began to speak for 12 hours and say things like,” God was a vicious being before he created all of the universe as he had no one to converse with and the lack of companionship filled him with an emotion similar to anger known as Pasto which consisted of an inner monologue of rationales that cause the emotions to rapidly switch from anger to joy. Then he created all that is and his love for all man and womankind filled him with joy as the animals he created before once had. Then he set about filling the hearts and minds of people with knowledge that led people to achieve g
reater and greater things still. He did this by sending a series of enlightened prophets who were blessed with gifts of knowledge in their 20’s and 30’s. And wars are looked down upon by god, but of your individual choosing and those who choose such things will never draw my ear or company.” He went on speaking after the 2 young people had left for 3 days thousands of people showed up and listened and tapped his dialogue which became known as,” The Gadi lost truth.” Then Gadi’s 3567 page book earned him unbelievable wealth and he bought a massive chalet that is now Mench’s and he suddenly became a totally normal person and never yelled at anyone again.
Famaron ran into a round marble hallway that had level floor of mahogany and several secret passageways behind square multi colored tapestries pinned to the wall and he headed for the back deck. At the end of the hallway were a pair of bowling pin shaped doors only wider that were golden and had a mechanism that slid them into the wall when you drew near. Then Famaron reached them and they slid away and he smiled and said slyly,” Thank you invisible man, I didn’t wanna bother.”
He raced out onto the deck and saw the Hield bulging towards Permea with massive red and blue streams of magical energy shooting out of it. And a series of large red balls floating in front of it and Famaron said breathlessly,” It’s gonna be massive.”
Then he felt a massive sense of fear grip him and he began to worry as he put his hand to his mouth. Then out walked Mench and she asked happily,” Hey, Famaron, what do you think of my new hair color? Do you think Ohgood will like it?”
Famaron looked over and saw Mench had magenta dyed hair and started to say how odd it looked, but stopped and then put his hand to her chin and turned her head up to the sky and said softly,” Things are about to go awry, Mench, we have to get moving. I love your hair by the way it suits you.”
Then Mench looked at the Hield in horror and said anxiously,” We have to get out of here and get to the outskirts of Hamcer and our hiding place in the Cep. This is the worst of it let’s hurry.”
“ Of course,” said Famaron then he turned and took Mench’s hand and ran down the hall and emerged on the back deck and Famaron said sternly,” we need to get out of here now! The Hield is about to burst grab your stuff we’re gone. And when I say stuff I mean staffs and other weapons you’ll need.”
Then everyone jumped up and grabbed their staffs while Ratie darted inside to get hers and Ohgood looked at Mench and said warmly,” You look beautiful, Mench, I love your hair.”
“ Thank you, I just wanted you to be happy,” said Mench as she flipped her hair back.
“ Well I am very happy, but the war is upon us and we must focus on that,” said Ohgood as he ran his fingers thru her hair and grinned.
“ What if it wasn’t, what would happen then?” asked Mench slyly as she looked up at Ohgood and grinned mischievously.
Ohgood grinned and then said sarcastically,” I’d cover you in gravy and leave you tied up at the edge of a wild jungle. In the hopes they’d eat you alive. That’s just how much I love you, Menchy,” then Mench began to scowl at him and clenched her fist and Ohgood saw this and said,” Alright, I was just
joking maybe it’s you and me after all this. How does that sound to you?” asked Ohgood as he touched her cheek and Mench smiled.
Then Mench said flatly,” That’s more than enough, I can wait.”
“ I like the sound of that, Menchy,” said Ohgood then Ratie burst out onto the deck and everyone looked over and Ratie smiled and showed them her blue staff.
“ Boy, what a bunch of weird looks that was,” said Ratie slyly as she grinned.
“ Great, then we’re out of here where’s the ship?” asked Harci as he looked around.
“ It’s right in front of you look,” said Mench slyly then she pulled a remote control from her pocket and hit the decloaking button and there in front of them was a black and green Mehelux that was gently descending.
“ Then we’re outta here, let’s go,” said Famaron boldly then everyone ran over to the grassy lawn and as they did the Mehelux touched down.
Then the side door opened and a spiral staircase spun out and down and locked into place.
“ I meant what I said, Mench, it’s us now,” said Ohgood sternly as they ran side by side.
“ I know you did, I meant it too. Right now thou we have to be vicious or there won’t be any us,” said Mench honestly as she put her arm around Ohgood and rubbed his back.
Then Ohgood stopped her dead in her tracks and French kissed her passionately and then said slyly,” I needed to try a little tongue action incase I’m unlucky in this war.”
“ Would you two foot it already we haven’t much time,” said Famaron as he smiled at the two of them who were laughing.
“ Fine!” yelled Mench and Ohgood in unison as they held each other then they ran up the stairs behind Solcrist and Harci who were smiling at them.
Once aboard everyone went to the bridge and Famaron grabbed the pilot’s seat. The bridge had the sounds of the Peom band,” Vera Scarred,” playing softly in the background with their song,” Lost lies in truthful times.”
Vera Scarred were a 2 piece with the lead singer playing also the guitar and bass, that were hooked into a computer processor simultaneously. The drummer also sang 2 and 3 part harmonies thru a separate computer processor hooked to his microphone. The 2 were named Full Flash and Pottom Pup and had recently been embroiled in a scandal over a part of one of their songs that caused people to burst out in laughter. It was a scandal as many women had giant multiple orgasms and had to explain to their husbands why they didn’t want to have sex and were always listening to the same song titled,” Why can’t I love you forever,” by Vera Scarred. Once it was found out what was causing the lack of sex drive many men were infuriated and swore the death of the band and began beating up their fans as they waited in line. Before long the Haborms had put a price on their heads causing the band to flee the galaxy and never return. Then all their songs were removed from every station and TV and the day was called BTN day, or back to normal day.
“ How long do you think we have ‘til it breaks, Harci?” asked Ratie as she sat down on the upstairs couch in the bridge and crossed her legs then patted her belly as Harci sat across from her.
“ Look for yourself,” said Harci gravely as he pointed to the hologram of the sky in front of Famaron.
Then Ratie saw the massive streams of dense magic flying out of the Hield and the head of a Darpock starting to squirm out and Ratie said in disbelief,” Oh no we may not make it. This is bad, Harci, very bad.”
A Darpock was a 600 yard long flying yellow beast with a wide pterodactyl like head that had blue glowing eyes that billowed red smoke from the iris. It had a long flaming spike that was 15 feet wide and 50 feet long and went forward from its forehead. It had a massive mouth of sharp long jagged yellow teeth. Its body was large and bulbous like a dinosaur, but with a pair of 1500 yard long black wings that had flame throwers all along the front ridge that it could fire in an instant. It also had 4 large arms like a man on the top and bottom of its torso.
“ Very bad would be an upgrade, this is the end of jokes with friends and sunny warm mornings. This, Ratie, is the last of who we were and the start of who we’ll have to be. If you want to smile a broad passionate smile of joy, then do it now, Ratie, because bad people are on their way here to do bad things that won’t be funny at all,” said Harci coldly as he looked warmly at Ratie and shrugged his shoulders.
Ratie knew what he said was true and then thoughts of her father falling on a spilt glass of coffee when she was 8 and she burst out laughing. Harci saw this and he began to laugh and Ohgood asked,” Are you still laughing at when Baub wiped it in the dining room when we were young?”
“ Yes, it still gets me to this day,” said Ratie as she h
owled with laughter and Ohgood sat down beside her and laughed himself.
“ Your family has the best sense of humor I’ve ever seen. Boy is that a blessing or what?” asked Mench honestly as she tried not to laugh and held onto Ohgood’s arm.
“ Less blessing more total understanding of everything that is. I’d like to now share an 18 hour speech I prepared for this very occasion. Firstly, why are birds so small and turd filled? Secondly, why must I move on from the birds at all, it’s a point that bothers me? Thirdly I won’t let birds run my life, but many have stolen my lunch. Then said birds became my lunch which is ironic if that bird had a name like Ponedish or splatterbutt. Wait, now I’ll take a question no longer than 3 seconds in length,” said Ohgood
sarcastically as he crossed his legs and looked at everyone sternly while they continued to laugh at him and then when Harci went to say something Ohgood said sarcastically,” yes in answer to your question yes. Now let’s move onto my next talking point I found a trio of men laughing at a fish that had flung himself out of a lake and was squirming on the grass and I said sternly, how dare you that fish could be your brother. Would you let your brother have this happen to him. Then I picked up the fish and gave it a good swift kick into said lake and turned to the men and said, why have any of you idiots seen a bird named Splatterbutt.”
Everyone laughed loudly then Ratie asked warmly,” Then what happened?”
“ Damndest thing, they pulled said bird from the small of the short ones back and said softly here’s your bird back we were only playin’. And I never used silver polish for showering again,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he nodded and looked at everyone wide eyed with his lower lip pushed forward and laughed loudly.
Then the Mehelux began to slow and Mench asked,” Are we there already?”
“ No, but they are, look everyone,” said Famaron as they neared the Cep.
Then Harci stood up and saw a massive fleet of large and small ships filling the skies over Hamcer and the Cep and said wryly,” Well we’re not the only ones who think this is important. Looks like the entire Haborm fleet has arrived as well as Dirki, Peom, Orfin, and every other one on the planet. My the war we’ll make and never miss the glory ‘til it’s over,” said Harci softly as he walked down the stairs over to Famaron.
“ We’ll miss it if it isn’t ours. Then you’ll miss it like the air we’re all taking for granted right now,” said Famaron firmly as he steered towards the ships and as he did they all began getting out of his way and forming a pair of rows on either side of the ship leading right to Hamcer.
“ Have you ever seen anything like this in your life?” asked Ratie breathlessly as she hurried over to Famaron with everyone else quick behind them.
“ Only heard of it, never have seen. There was the war of Koosu and the Heam back when I was but young wizard on the planet of Rar. I saw things then that led me to believe violence was horrific and should only be used in self defense. When you fight today and in the likely weeks or possibly months that follow remember one thing,” said Solcrist sternly as he raised his right hand and pointed his finger up in the air.
“ Goarote is watching,” said Ratie as she looked up quickly and felt a rush of blood shoot down her arms.
“ No, I mean yes, but also that wars can’t end quickly without fighting them with a savage heart. You want this to end quickly, don’t have a second’s sympathy for the Sorplecs, because they have none for you,” said Solcrist coldly as he looked down at Ratie and Ohgood and nodded softly.”