He caressed my shoulders and back. At first, my muscles tensed. Is this what he's been expecting? Then why didn’t he…that night? No matter, it was a fair exchange for giving me a place to stay. When I tried to roll over, he nudged me back and continued the massage. Eventually, I began to relax, and I fell asleep.
When I woke, sunlight streamed in through the open window. Guy was gone, but I found a note on the dining table.
Keira,
I had to go to work. Buy whatever you'd like for our trip to the lake. You can reach Eberhardt at 55-53-75-30. Call him for a ride when you're ready to leave. I'll stop by tonight. Dinner's on me.
Love,
Guy
Love? I picked up the pile of gats that had been left near the note and studied them. Then I took Guy's suggestion to call Eberhardt and go shopping. At noon, we stopped for lunch.
I wasn’t very hungry, so I picked at my salad while Eberhardt enjoyed a triple-decker sandwich. He hadn’t said much today, so I began. One of us had to.
“Thank you.”
He waved his hand. “It's nothing. I drive Guy around all the time.”
“No, I mean thank you for everything else. For being my backup, for saving my life, for pulling me out of the bushes that night, and for that thing you’re not admitting to.” I sighed. “How can I ever repay you?”
He looked up in surprise. “You've got it all wrong. You don't owe me anything. This is my way of paying off my debt.”
I shook my head. “I don't understand.”
“I owe them: my wife, my children. When they needed me, I wasn't there.” He set down his sandwich. “The people who did this to me.” He indicated his scar. “They went after my family to get to me. Someone within the ranks...someone told them when I'd be gone. They went after my family when I was on a mission. I wasn't there to protect them. My children are gone now. They didn't survive the attack. My wife...well, everything I earn goes to pay for her care, but it isn't enough. It's never enough! That's why I helped you. That's why I do what I do. You don't owe me anything.”
***
That evening, I sat on the sofa and waited for Guy. I began to sing quietly:
Yes, it's only a canvas sky
Hanging over a muslin tree
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me.
I was willing to open up and try this wholeheartedly. Guy had helped Eberhardt when he was in a tough spot. He'd helped many others too, I was sure of it. Who is Guy Bensen? How is it that he’s always giving, without expecting anything in return? Could I ever be that selfless? I realized then that Guy might be able to help me answer the question I'd been asking for so long. Who do I want to be?
-April-
A Dark Secret
Mrs. Beckett asked me to polish the windows in the sitting room today. It was another bright and sunny day, which meant I'd have to be careful or streaks would be noticed. As I worked, I watched Ashton pace back and forth across the side lawn with the push mower.
I'd heard somewhere that people used to ride mowers. It must have been nice when techno like that was available to everyone. I bet the Becketts could afford to have a riding lawn mower that worked, but they'd never allow their servants to have access to techno like that! I tried to think of a good excuse to go talk to Ashton.
I finished quickly and hurriedly put away the supplies, eager to get outside. That's when the butler approached.
“Mr. Beckett requests your presence in the study.”
“Am I to bring anything?”
He shook his head, no. My sunny day clouded over. When Lance Beckett called for me, I never knew what to expect. Sometimes he wanted me for a simple cleaning job and other times... I felt a knot tighten in my stomach.
Today, it was as I'd feared. The master of the house was stressed. It was as simple as that. As he undid his zipper, I bit the inside of my cheek and willed myself not to cry. Over Mr. Beckett's shoulder, I could see Ashton mowing the back lawn. Could he be my ticket out of this madness? I closed my eyes and pretended I simply didn't exist. After what felt like forever, Mr. Beckett dismissed me.
I retired to the servants' quarters in the basement and curled up on my bed. I hated my secret. I wondered if Scott's secrets were as dark as mine. What about Keira? I knew she had secrets too. Some had even left visible scars.
I never made it outside to talk to Ashton that afternoon. I didn't feel like talking with anyone. Later, I was called to the kitchen to clean up after dinner. As usual, Lewis had prepared a plate of food for me. I thanked him but couldn’t eat. I began the dishes while Lewis leaned back in his chair and pretended to read a magazine. I knew he just enjoyed watching me. At least he'd never touched me.
When I finished, I returned to my room and changed into a pair of pale pink sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Then I climbed the stairs to the first floor and crossed the kitchen to the back porch. That's where Chrissy found me. I sat on a white wicker chair and gazed at the sunset.
“Edrea and Vanessa are finally asleep. How was your day?”
“Oh, typical,” I responded. “Do you like working here?”
“So far, yes. The girls keep me busy, but they're fun.” She sounded sincere.
“That's good.” Lance Beckett must not have gotten to her yet.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing. I'm just tired,” I said as I rubbed my shoulder. “I think I'm going to turn in early.”
I returned to my room, but I didn't sleep. Why couldn't I stop him? Was this job so important that I would do anything to keep it? What if I just left? What would happen to me then? I could stay with Cole again, for a little while. Of course, that wouldn't be much of an improvement. However, the last time I'd run away and stayed with Cole, when I returned, things had gotten better for a few months.
No. I needed to be honest with myself. It hadn't really gotten better. Mr. Beckett had merely shifted his attention to the nanny. Then her “situation” had changed, and she'd left. Was I destined to suffer the same fate?
I looked around my room and remembered another bedroom, about the same size, from my childhood. After Scott had left, things hadn't changed much. Keira and I still went to school and kept house for Aunt Cady. We were together. Keira was more than a sister to me. She was also my best friend.
Then Keira had to go. Neither of us had wanted that. I wasn't ready to be an only child, and she wasn't ready to leave. She didn't even know what she wanted to do with her life, and she hadn't finished school yet. Her birthday was in November. The streets were already cold, and she was turned out with no money and no prospects. I tried to give her the money Scott had saved up for us, but she refused to take it. For about three weeks, Keira continued to go to school during the day, and at night, she sneaked through my window and slept on the floor. It was all she could think to do.
Finally, I talked to Aunt Cady and pleaded on Keira's behalf. I tried to convince her to let Keira move back in, just until the end of the school year. That's when I learned that it's a really bad idea to share secrets. My window was nailed shut and Aunt Cady made sure that when I went to bed, I stayed there. Keira no longer had a way in.
I remembered the look on her face when she stood outside my window that night. We'd held our hands up to each other. It looked like she said, “I'll come back.”
She disappeared for about a month. I was worried sick, wondering what had happened to her. Then one day, she did come back. She found me at school, and we talked. She carried herself differently and had a look I'd never seen before, more wary maybe? She also had cuts and bruises and a black eye.
When it was my turn to leave, it hadn't been quite so bad. By that time, Keira had an income and an apartment of her own. We'd lived together for three and a half years. I was able to finish school, and eventually, I'd been hired at the Beckett estate.
Although I asked many times, Keira
refused to tell me how she made a living. She also never told me what had happened to her when she was gone for that month. Those were her first secrets from me, I was sure of it.
When Keira told me she was going out and advised me not to wait up for her, she expected me to believe she was dating. I knew it wasn't true though. She would return in the morning silent and withdrawn. Sometimes, her clothes had bloodstains on them even when she didn't have any fresh wounds. By next laundry day, those clothes would be gone.
Over time, I figured out what Keira really did. She was angry at the world. When I finally confronted her with what I'd guessed, she no longer tried to hide it from me. My sister, the Freelancer. I'd once asked her if she was driven by hatred. She’d said no, she said she was making the world a better place. Did she really believe that?
I didn't hate anyone. I figured everyone just tried to do their best with what they’d been given. I tried my best to fit in, to find my place and a respectable job. Now, with more life experience, I wondered if there was such a thing as a respectable job for a woman, or were we all wearing masks?
At least I still believed there were some men around who knew how to treat women with dignity and respect. The challenge was to find one who wasn't already taken and who would accept a woman with little money and no status.
-Ashton-
The Resistance
The mower in front of me caught on some weeds. Today, it was not working like a well-oiled machine. I bent down to unclog the blades. When I looked up, I saw something disturbing, though it came as no surprise. I'd been informed about Mr. Beckett's hobby. It was why I was here today.
I was a Raider with the Resistance, and the Beckett estate had been chosen as our next financial endeavor. The previous nanny had approached a member of the Resistance for help. She needed a place to stay and would need neonatal health care and money to support the baby that Lance Beckett refused to admit was his. She'd been called a whore and worse before she was turned out. It was fitting that Lance Beckett would indeed be paying for the care of his youngest child.
I felt sick to my stomach. It was the maid I'd met a few days ago. She’d been friendly but had shut down immediately when I'd inquired about her boss. Apparently, she was Lance Beckett's next victim.
I decided to use this opportunity to my advantage. With Beckett's attention elsewhere, I could remove some more items from the estate. I pushed the mower toward the garage, but then turned and left it next to the porch by the back door. No one was around. The chef had gone to the farmer's market, the new nanny had left with Mrs. Beckett and the girls about an hour ago, and except for the butler who was likely taking a break, everyone else was accounted for.
I worked in the dining room today. First I took an antique bust from a marble pedestal in a cluttered corner. Then I removed a small Vermeer painting – from the way the lighting was depicted I had a good feeling that it was authentic. Last, I removed a wooden case from the buffet table. Inside was the family's best silverware. It was all I could carry.
I exited out the back door and used my hip to push the mower toward the garage. It was time to leave. I'd return tomorrow to fix the mower, finish the backyard and continue my operations on the estate. I'd need to finish within the next day or so. Other priorities now required my attention.
***
The next day I began in the garage. I'd brought some of my own tools. First, I removed the blades from the mower. Then I cleaned and sharpened them, one at a time. I'd just replaced the last one when the maid found me.
“Hello,” she said with a shy smile.
I stood. “Good morning, April.” I couldn't believe the outfit she was required to wear. It was degrading.
“What are you doing?”
“Sharpening the blades. They weren't working properly yesterday.”
“Oh, is that why you didn't finish the back lawn?” she asked.
“Yes.” I hesitated and wondered how to bring up such a difficult subject. “I noticed you.”
“You did?” She looked pleased, not what I had expected.
“Yes. He shouldn't be treating you like that.”
“Oh.” She looked down, and her cheeks flushed. “That's what you noticed.”
I gently touched her chin and brought her gaze up so it was level with mine. “Don't be ashamed,” I said. “Be angry. Take control of your life. Fight back. Leave, if that's what it takes. Then fight back.”
She shook her head and looked down again. “If I fight, I'll lose, and there's nowhere better for me to go. Unless...” She looked at me.
“Yes, I can help you.” I nodded. “I know of a job prospect, a few actually. One is really good. It would require some training and time on your part, but it would be well worth it. It would get you out of here and in control of your own life.”
“Training? What kind of a job?”
Just then the butler walked through the door. I turned to look while April instinctively took a step back and looked down. The butler looked from me to her.
“April! You were sent out here to deliver a message. Did you?”
She shook her head and stared at her shoes.
“Mr. Beckett does not like to be kept waiting. Get back to the house now and return to your duties.”
April turned and ran back to the house.
The butler turned his attention to me. “Mr. Beckett would like to have a word with you in his study. I advise you to keep your hands off of his property.”
Property? Had he realized that certain items had gone missing? No, I realized. The sick feeling had returned – he meant April.
I knocked on the heavy wooden door to the study. “Enter,” rumbled Mr. Beckett's deep voice. I stepped into the room, and Mr. Beckett motioned to an empty chair. I sat. “I'm not accustomed to waiting for servants,” he began.
“I apologize. I was in the middle of a project.”
“What project?”
“The mower wasn't working properly. It needed to be cleaned and the blades sharpened.”
“Is that why the lawn wasn't finished yesterday?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why didn't you clean and sharpen the blades yesterday? You didn't have permission to leave early.”
“I needed certain tools to complete the job. I didn't have them with me yesterday.”
He nodded. “Fair enough. I’ll be docking your pay for the hours you missed. In future, be sure to check in with me prior to leaving early. Is that understood?”
“Of course, sir. I apologize for the oversight on my part.”
He nodded and waved his hand. “You’re dismissed.”
On my way back to the garage, I took the opportunity to scope out more of the house. I was studying a painting in the hall when I sensed someone. I turned my head. April watched from a nearby doorway. She moved forward and stood beside me. We both turned our attention to the painting.
“What do you see?” I asked.
“Colors, lines, lighting...”
I smiled. She would be a good candidate for the job I had in mind, if only she'd accept. I reached down and laced my fingers through hers.
-Keira-
April, Be Careful
The day before we were to leave on holiday, I arranged to meet April for lunch at a classy restaurant near the Beckett estate. I wanted to let her know where I would be and how she could reach me. I also wanted to talk about the men in our lives.
“This is a nice place,” April said. “Did you pull another job?”
I shook my head. “No, the money was a gift, and here's a gift for you.” I pushed over an envelope with some money I'd set aside for her.
“Wow! Is this from Rick? Or do you call him Richard?”
“Rick.” I didn't plan to tell her about the Resistance, not when her life was going so well.
“This is a lot of money. And he's giving it to me? Why?”
“Well, I'm giving it to you. It's what's left over after my purchases for our holiday. He said I should keep it.”
“You're going on holiday? Where?”
“To a cabin by the lake. We'll be there for five days. You'll be able to reach me at this number.” I handed her one of Richard Burke's business cards.
“Burke Investments? I knew it!” She grinned. “I knew he was rich, and he is into you, isn't he?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“You think so? He must be! He's giving you presents and taking you on holiday, and he already knows what you do for a living, so it's not like he doesn't know what he's getting with you. You're so lucky to have found someone, someone perfect.”
“Well, what about you? Tell me about the new groundskeeper.”
“His name is Ashton.” She had a dreamy look in her eyes. “He's handsome and a hard worker and...I think he cares about me.”
“Well who wouldn't?” I smiled. “How long have you two been together?”
“Oh, we're just starting to know each other. What are you going to order?”
“What? Chicken, I think.” I studied her a moment, then asked, “Why are you trying to change the subject? What's up?”
“Well, Ashton mentioned a new job prospect. For me,” she said.
“Really? I thought you liked working for the Becketts.”
“Well, I shouldn't let that prevent me from looking for something better, should I?”
“No, of course not! What is this other job? Would you be working with Ashton? I don't think gardeners get paid much more than you do, and it's seasonal work.”
“No, not gardening. Ashton said it would require training. He said I'd have to be trained first, and then I would be able to support myself.”
“That's all you know?”
She nodded.
“It doesn't sound like he's telling you much. April, be careful. This could be some kind of scam. Tell you what, I'll check into his background when I get back, okay? Don't make any decisions until then. If Ashton tries to hurry you into making a decision...well, that's a bad sign. Back out if he tries to pressure you.”