Her husband shook his head. “I don’t know. I just hope she’s gone before they get home so at least they have more time to adjust to this than we did.”
“Colton used to have nightmares about her taking him away,” Aspen went on, the worry on her face clear as day.
“She’s not taking him fucking anywhere,” Noel growled. “Jesus.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Was I wrong to let her in the house?”
Ten snorted. “You didn’t exactly let her in.”
Noel sighed. “If the boys don’t want anything to do with her, would it be wrong to just tell her, thanks but no thanks, go away now?”
“Fuck, no,” Ten said. “You can absolutely tell her to screw off if you want to. She abandoned you.”
“Not really,” Caroline argued with a wince. “She just—”
“Abandoned you,” Ten muttered.
“Sarah,” Noel said, making me jump and wonder why he’d said my name. I didn’t have any reason to be brought into this conversation. But as soon as my gaze met his, he asked, “How do you think Brandt’s going to react?’
Honestly, I had no clue. Brandt had barely ever talked about his mom. Past saying she’d been a shitty parent who’d neglected them to the point that Noel had assumed guardianship of them, he never mentioned her, never acted as if he missed her or wanted her around or even thought about her.
I figured he’d be pretty ambivalent to her appearance, the same as Caroline.
But before I could answer, a male shout roared through the house, from the direction of the kitchen in the back. “Get the fuck away from him!”
“What...” Everyone in the living room shared a surprised glance of confusion before we all surged toward the hallway to see what was going on.
Of course, the girl in the wheelchair got there last and had to bring up the rear of the exodus. But that voice had sounded like Colton’s, and if Colton was warning someone away from “him,” the only other “him” it could be in this household was Brandt.
Worried about Brandt, I wheeled down the hall as fast as I could.
BRANDT
I pulled into the alley to park in my usual spot behind the house. After killing the engine, I grabbed my gym bag and climbed from my truck. My hair was still damp from the shower I’d taken after my workout, and my T-shirt and sweatpants were the first clean things I’d found in my duffle.
I felt good. My muscles were warm and limber, and food along with about a gallon of water sounded perfect right about now. Head drained of all thoughts of Sarah and red undies, I entered through the back door that led straight into the kitchen, only to pause and inhale the scent of barbecue. Moaning, I set my bag on the floor by the exit, grabbed a cookie from the plate sitting on the table, and then went to the stove to lift the lid and groan a little more.
As I breathed in the smoky fragrance, my stomach growled, letting me know it totally agreed with Aspen’s supper choice for the evening. After polishing off the cookie, I couldn’t stop myself from dipping my pinkie into the sauce. Wincing at how hot it was, I promptly popped the digit into my mouth.
“Mmm...” I closed my eyes and moaned. “Oh, God.”
Good shit.
I was debating on stealing another sample when I heard someone enter the kitchen behind me.
Worried about getting scolded by Aspen for sticking my fingers in her food, I whirled around, jerking all evidence free from my mouth while my other hand still guiltily held on to the pot’s lid.
Excuses of why I was by the stove near the food filled my head. “I was just...”
But the words died on my tongue, because as it turned out, Aspen wasn’t the person who stood in the doorway.
“Hello, Brandt,” the woman murmured.
I flinched at my name, and the metal lid slid from my hand to crash to the floor, clanging horribly.
She jumped and slapped her hand against her chest before laughing. “Sorry,” she offered. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
I just stared at her, dumbly, until she wrinkled her eyebrows with concern. “You remember me, don’t you?”
Remember her? I couldn’t fucking forget her.
It’d been nine years, but she looked exactly the same despite a couple wrinkles and an overdone tan job.
Shaking my head in denial, positive I had to be hallucinating, I glanced around the kitchen, wondering how the fuck she’d gotten here.
“I found Noel’s address online,” she answered my unspoken question. “I’m clean now and wanted to start over fresh with you guys.” When she stepped toward me, I stumbled backward until I banged into the cabinets behind me.
Halting, Daisy tilted her head to the side and frowned. “Hey, you’re not still sore about what happened that one night, are you?” With a sigh, she rolled her eyes. “You know I was high, right? I had no clue what I was doing, and besides, it’s not like I hurt you.” An arrogant little sneer twisted her lips and she stepped even closer. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
Bile filled my throat. Jesus, she did remember what she’d done. I thought I was going to be sick.
She didn’t even seem sorry about it.
Checking me out with a look that was anything but motherly, she tapped her chin with her finger before humming in her throat. “I was right, though. You’re definitely Derick’s. You two look almost identical.”
When she reached out to touch my face, I caught her hand, snarling, “Don’t.”
And then I grew pissed at myself. Here stood the woman who’d destroyed my childhood, affected every sexual relationship I’d ever had with any woman, and was probably keeping me from being with Sarah. I hated her. I hated every fucking thing about her existence. Yet, I was cowering against the cabinets, too petrified to say anything but a pussy little, “Don’t.” What the hell was wrong with me?
Flinging her hand away from me because even touching her skeeved me out, I growled, “Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t even be in the same room as me. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“But that’s not fair,” she whined, reaching for my arm. “I’m your mother; I deserve a second chance.”
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!” Colton boomed from the back door as he ripped it open and barreled inside, startling the shit out of me because I hadn’t even heard him approaching.
He shot straight for Daisy and shoved her. Hard. Hard enough to make her stumble backward and away from me. From the look on his face, he wanted to charge her again.
Afraid he might hurt her, I grabbed him, holding him back. “Colton! What the hell?”
He strained against me as he glared at our mother. “What the fuck is she doing here?” He was so upset his voice shook.
Worried about what he might do to get himself into trouble, I kept hold of him. “I don’t know. She said she wanted a second chance.”
Colton laughed. “A second chance at what? To mess us up even worse than she already has?”
“Colton,” Daisy gasped as she straightened herself and stepped toward him. “Why are you acting like you hate me? I’m your mother.”
Colton spit on her. It shocked me so much that I lost my grip on him. He surged toward her, looming in her face. I started after him to contain him again, but he wasn’t touching her, so I paused.
“You are not my mother.” His voice was low and certain as he spoke. “My mother’s name is Aspen.”
A sharp intake of breath from the opening of the kitchen that led into the hall made me look to find Aspen and Noel, along with Ten and Caroline and all their children gathering in the entrance, gaping at us with alarm.
“Who the fuck let her into this house?” Colton demanded. “I’m not going anywhere with her.”
“Of course you’re not,” Noel said calmly, lifting his hands as he stepped forward. “You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go.”
A relieved breath shuddered from him, and he visibly relaxed. Then he pointed at Daisy. “I don’t want her here.”
/>
“Fine. That’s fine,” Noel answered. His voice was still gentle and overly calm as if trying to talk Colton off some kind of ledge. “She’s gone.”
“What?” Daisy spun to gape at him in outrage. “But—”
“You need to leave,” Noel said sternly. “I was only going to give you a chance if everyone agreed to it, but clearly...” His gaze settled on his youngest brother, who was still breathing heavily. “They don’t. Now go.”
“But I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Noel snapped his attention to her, his face growing dark. “Didn’t do anything wrong?” he repeated softly. “Then why have I been raising your children since I was four fucking years old? Why haven’t you tried to see us once in the past nine years? Why did Colton have nightmares for over a year after I got him away from you? How dare you come into my home and tell me you did nothing wrong? Get out, and don’t ever come back.”
Daisy’s chest heaved. Her eyes filled with tears before she slid her gaze toward Caroline, who was clutching Teagan to her while Ten wrapped an arm tight around her waist. Her gaze strayed toward Aspen, holding Beau. When Beau pressed his face against Aspen’s shoulder to hide from her, she looked at Colton.
“You heard him,” he hissed. “Leave.”
Finally, her gaze settled on me. I dropped my stare, unable to look at her.
So she huffed out a breath and silently walked toward the back exit. It opened and then just as quietly closed. For a moment, no one spoke. Then Noel asked, “Are you okay?”
I zipped my eyes up, only to find he was focusing his concern on Colton, not me.
Colton nodded before asking, “How the fuck could you let her in our house?”
Noel shook his head apologetically. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I was afraid to send her away in case any of you wanted to give her a chance.”
“Give her a chance?” Colton laughed bitterly. “After what she did to Brandt? I don’t fucking think so.”
Dread dropped into my stomach just as I felt everyone in the kitchen swivel their attention to me.
“What?” I whispered, or more aptly gasped, because it felt as if all the oxygen in my lungs suddenly vacated the premises. Color and warmth drained from my face.
Praying he wasn’t talking about what I feared he was talking about, I shook my head when Noel sent me a questioning look.
Noel turned back to our baby brother. “What did she do to Brandt?”
I sank back against the counter and slunk in reverse until my back hit the wall, all the while holding my breath in terror as Colton glanced at me with apology.
“I saw,” he choked out, his face filling with grief. “I saw what she did, and I...I’m sorry. I didn’t help you. I was scared. I was so scared I ran back to bed and hid under the covers. And I’ve felt like shit all these years because I...I couldn’t help you.”
Back to whisper-gasping, I demanded, “Wha-wha...what the fuck are you talking about?”
He couldn’t have seen. No way. Nothing could be more horrifyingly worse than learning he’d seen.
But he yelled, “I saw it, okay. I saw what she did.”
“What the fuck did she do?” Caroline shrieked. “Colton, dammit, you’re scaring the crap out of me.”
Colton tore his agony-filled gaze away from me before he turned to Caroline and then Noel. After drawing in a breath, he said, “It was just before you came and took us away, Noel. A couple weeks, a month maybe. I was sick, Caroline was out with that guy...Sander.”
“Fucker,” Ten muttered under his breath.
“Brandt wouldn’t sleep with me because I was so sick, so he stayed somewhere else, I don’t know where. I thought he was on the couch, so when I woke up early, like so early it was still dark out, I went to get him, but he...he wasn’t on the couch. That’s when I heard voices from her room.”
“Oh...fuck,” I breathed. He had seen. Jesus fucking Christ, he’d witnessed the worst moment of my life. Squeezing my eyes shut, I covered my face with both hands, wishing this nightmare would stop.
“There was this crack of sound, like flesh on flesh. A slap, maybe. And then more talking. I thought I heard Brandt’s voice, so I stumbled that way. The door to her room was partially open. And when...when I got to the doorway, just the two of them were inside. She had him backed against the wall, and his eyes were closed. Tears...tears were streaming down his face. Jesus, she was...she was giving him—”
“Don’t!” I begged, my chest heaving with what felt like the stirrings of a panic attack. But if he told everyone, my humiliation would be complete.
He couldn’t tell them.
But Noel grabbed Colton’s arm, urgent and demanding. “She was giving him what? Drugs? Alcohol?”
“Colton,” I bit out from between clenched teeth, gritting my teeth. “For the love of God, shut the fuck up.”
“What the fuck did she give him?” Noel boomed.
Colton’s face crumbled as he met my terrified gaze. Then his eyes begged forgiveness before he turned to Noel and said, “A blow job.”
I gasped as if I’d been shot, though this had to feel a million times worse than any bullet. Betrayed, exposed, humiliated...my vision grayed at the corners and my ears screamed with shock.
I barely heard Caroline shriek, “She did what?” right before Ten breathed, “Holy...fuck.”
“Oh my God,” Aspen whimpered before she burst into tears and buried her face into Beau’s neck, seeking comfort from her two-year-old.
Stunned silent, Noel could only turn his attention to me and stare.
Gripping my mouth with one hand, I glanced at Colton. He seared me with apologetic eyes, but I didn’t care. Dropping my hand, I hissed, “I hate you so fucking much right now.”
Noel choked out a sound. “So, it’s true? This is fucking true? How can this be true? She never did anything remotely like that to me?”
“Christ, Noel,” Caroline muttered. “You make it sound like you’re jealous Mom molested him and not you.”
“I’m not jealous!” he thundered, “I’m...Jesus.” He wiped his mouth, looking frantic as he searched Caroline’s and then Colton’s faces. “Did she touch anyone else? Did she do this to either of you?”
After both Caroline and Colton shook their heads, Noel spun back to me. “Why the fuck did you never say anything? When...how often...oh, God. How many times?”
“Once,” I gasped out, my lungs struggling for air as my breathing turned choppy and all wrong. “Just that once.”
“Hey, lay off him.” Caroline thrust her daughter into Ten’s arms before she shouldered past Noel to step right into my face. “Can’t you see he’s upset? Bubba, you’re hyperventilating. You need to breathe.”
“I can’t...I can’t...”
“Shh.” She reached for my face, but I flinched, unable to handle human contact. For some reason, I just knew it would burn. Even her merely looking at me with those sympathetic eyes scorched me from the inside out.
Colton stepped in, snatching Caroline’s hands away. “I don’t think he wants to be touched.”
“Well, he’s going to pass out if he doesn’t start breathing,” Noel yelled.
They crowded in so close to me, suffocating me, my breathing only grew worse.
“Yo! Back up off him.” Ten grabbed Noel and Colton by their shirt collars and hauled them backward. “Give the kid some fucking space.”
When my three siblings scurried a good five feet away, I bowed my head and rested my hands on my knees until I thought I could control my breathing. But when I looked up, I saw it in the gap of space between Colton and Ten.
The silver gleaming wheel from a wheelchair.
My breathing stopped altogether, dread taking on a new dimension, as my gaze crawled up, barely seeing Sarah’s pale face from where she sat in the doorway of the kitchen, her expression full of horrified shock.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, no, no.”
She’d heard...she’
d heard everything.
Unable to take this, I shoved past Noel and stumbled toward the exit, tripping out the door in my rush to leave.
This was it, the ultimate worst moment ever.
Sarah knew.
Sarah knew what I’d done. My life was over.
My mind blanked out, and I wasn’t sure what happened next. I just knew I ran, ran until I tripped and fell, and then I cowered in the darkening evening, letting the shadows consume me.
SARAH
As Brandt staggered from the house, I covered my mouth with both hands, feeling...I’m not even sure.
Devastated, heartbroken, enraged at his mother, scared for him, shitty for scaring him off with my mere presence, and just...pretty much every other awful emotion ever invented, plus maybe a couple that hadn’t been yet.
But what the hell had just happened? My best friend on earth had been molested by his mother, and I’d never even had a clue? How had I never been able to guess that? I had to be the worst friend ever.
And—oh God—from Colton’s description, I’d pretty much reenacted what had happened to him all those years ago last night.
I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to vomit, bawl, and then rinse and repeat.
Around me, silence filled the kitchen before Noel cursed and started toward the door, after Brandt.
“No.” Caroline caught his arm. “I should go. He and I are the closest.”
“What the hell ever,” Colton broke in. “You don’t know him like I do. I’ll go. I started this, anyway. I need to apologize.”
“Neither of you are going,” Noel growled. “I’m the oldest and a surrogate parent to him. I’m going.”
“Maybe none of you should go,” I said, making all three of Brandt’s siblings scowl at me. I cringed into my wheelchair and in a smaller voice added, “I just...I really think he’d appreciate some time to himself right now.”
“Hot Wheels is right.” Ten nodded, picking up Teagan from the floor to rest her on his hip. “She should go.”
“Me? What? No!” I lifted my hands. “That’s not what I said at all.”