That invisible string in her, connecting the two, was obviously going crazy.
Needing to be inside her soon, I knelt between her spread legs and began to guide my cock to the promised land.
Sarah made a choked, sobbing sound. “Oh no. I’m suddenly nervous. Brandt!”
I froze, zapping my attention to her face. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” she wailed, clutching my arm. “Just...I don’t know. Could you talk me through it or something?”
“Of course.” Nodding, I gripped her wrists and brought her hands back above her head so I wouldn’t have to worry about any bad memories triggering when I needed to focus on easing her worries.
Kissing her on the center of the forehead, I said, “I’m going to put my dick in you now. It’s probably going to hurt.”
“Brandt,” she growled, sending me a death glare. “That did not help.”
I laughed, because actually it had. She just hadn’t realized my bad joke had totally taken her mind off the panic. Wanting to be serious, though, I sobered. “You know I love you, right?”
Eyes sparkling with warmth and affection, she nodded.
Leaning down, I rubbed my nose across the tip of hers. “You are the best friend I ever had, and I am honored to share this moment with you.” Pressing against her entrance, I laced our fingers together and peered into her eyes, trying to tell her everything I was too choked up to say aloud.
“You promise nothing will change between us?” I asked.
Her eyes glittered with all kinds of guarantees as she answered, “I promise.”
I pushed the rest of the way inside her.
And everything changed.
Our eye contact never wavered, but her gaze widened and I sucked in a breath.
My cock stretched and filled her to capacity. Holy shit, I was fucking Sarah.
It was so amazing and humbling, I almost started to fucking weep.
I bit my lip, trying not to rush because I wanted to start pumping my hips so bad I ached.
Under me, Sarah attempted to hide the shock of pain, but she couldn’t hide anything from me; I could tell the exact moment I broke through her hymen.
Seated all the way inside her, I paused and held my breath, hoping she could adjust. “You okay?”
With a nod, she gulped. “I’m good.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if she was good or not. She was so tense, and I felt as if I was splitting her in two. God, she was tight. So warm and wet. Jesus Christ, this was heaven.
Being brave, Sarah watched my eyes as if my stare alone could coach her through this. She trusted me that much.
Tenderness filled me. I brushed a sweaty piece of hair off her brow and tucked it behind her ear.
“It’ll feel better soon. You’re doing great.” Then I kissed her softly, my lips barely brushing hers. It was sweet enough for her to close her eyes and sigh. But for the life of me, I couldn’t close mine. I couldn’t stop watching her.
Pressing my forehead to hers, I hissed out a breath. “Holy shit, Sarah. I’m inside you.”
“Yeah.” She gave a shaky laugh. “I noticed.”
I laughed too, everything in my chest dancing with joy. “God, I love you.”
Her eyes reopened. “I love you, too.”
I wasn’t sure if she meant platonic love, or what, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. I was inside her at last. And it was perfect.
“You okay if I move it now?”
She sent me a harassed glance. “Yes, move. Don’t hold back on my account.”
Keeping close tabs on her, I pulled out, nearly all the way and then stroked back in. Her eyes widened and breath hissed from her lungs, but then...then she smiled.
Best fucking smile ever.
“Ooh, that actually felt good.”
“Right,” I said, grinning as I thrust again, slow and steady. This time she arched with me.
“Again,” she demanded.
Kissing her, I thrust a little harder, a little faster, and tightened my grip on her hands I was still holding over our heads.
She moaned, tipping her chin up to expose her throat, so I kissed my way down, nibbling on soft skin as my strokes grew jerkier, harried. My balls tightened a split second before the rush exploded from me. Shit! I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back, wait until she was ready again. But it felt so good.
I moaned, fucking her harder than I meant to as the orgasm tore through me.
And then the most incredible thing happened. Sarah’s inner walls tightened around me as she reared up on her back and cried out, coming with me.
We held each other through the release before I collapsed on top of her, utterly spent.
SARAH
I felt different.
It wasn’t just the beard burn tingling my neck, breasts, and thighs, or the soreness between my legs either. It was something inside, something emotional.
Next to me, Brandt shifted, and his hair brushed my cheek, causing me to take a breath before turning to look at him. His blue eyes were already on me, watching. Waiting.
“You okay?” he murmured, his voice raspy. He looked worried.
I released the breath. This man had been inside me. He’d seen me naked—was still seeing me naked—and listened to me make strange, embarrassing sounds. He’d been so right. Sex had been full of slapping skin, strange positions, bodily functions, and more feelings than I’d been expecting. But there’d also been something beautiful, and tender, and magical about it.
One thing was for certain: no way, no how could I ever have done that with someone I didn’t trust implicitly. I could definitely see how sex could go from beautiful to bad with the wrong partner. And I was so happy I’d chosen someone considerate and thorough, someone who liked me and put my feelings first.
I felt closer to him than I’d ever felt before.
Hauling off, I smacked him in the arm.
“Ouch!” he squawked, jerking away. “What was that for?”
“For saying sex was disappointing and not all that. You are such a freaking liar.” This had been the most intense, bonding experience of my life.
Rubbing the spot I’d bullied, he frowned in confusion. “When the hell did I say that?”
“The night you found out about my date with Seth, right after you told me how much you totally respected virgins.”
“Oh. Right.” With a rueful grin, he shrugged. “Yeah, well...I only said all that shit because I was worried you were going to have sex with someone else. Sex is actually really awesome.” He sent me the look and then ran his finger down my arm. “Especially sex with you.”
The compliment warmed me all over and made me feel all glowy. But to him, I lifted my eyebrows in warning. “And that I respect virgins line you fed me that night?”
“Well...” He scratched his eyebrow. “I respect non-virgins too. Honestly, the level of a person’s promiscuity pretty much has no bearing whatsoever in gaining my respect. My respect pretty much hinges completely on what kind of human being you are, so...”
“Mmm hmm,” I murmured. “You are such a bullshitter, Mr. Gamble.”
“Yeah, but I’m your bullshitter.” Turning playful, he rubbed the top of his head against my cheek before looking at me and grinning like an eager puppy, ready to please. “Whatever will you do with me now, Miss Arnosta?”
“Good question.” I rolled toward him until I was on top of him. “I’m going to have to think about this.” Then I kissed him.
He kissed me back, gripping my hair and thrusting his tongue. But the moment I felt him grow hard against my stomach, he rolled us until he was on top, pinning me to the mattress, reminding me he didn’t like to be on the bottom. And then when I tried to smooth my hands down his back because, come on, I just wanted to sink my fingers into his slick muscles and moan, he caught my fingers and trapped them down at my sides.
I huffed out a sound of annoyance; I wanted to explore him so bad, but I bit my tongue because I knew why he couldn
’t go there.
But he lifted his face to search my eyes. “It’s bothering you already, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted, squeezing my eyes closed and wishing I’d contained my frustrations a little more silently. “I know you can’t help it. I just...I want to learn every inch of you. You let me touch you all the time. Why—”
“It’s not sexual then.” The agony in his expression begged me not to be mad. But I wasn’t mad. Not at all. “I can cuddle and snuggle and hold you all day. But as soon as it turns sexual...I don’t know. I just can’t—”
“It’s okay,” I told him, pressing my fingers to his lips to hush him. “I understand. And I can deal.” When he sent me a look, telling me he didn’t believe me, I added. “Truly.”
Blowing out a breath, he glanced up at the ceiling before brightening. “Here. What if we try this?”
Taking my wrist, he guided where my hand went as he set it against his chest and then made my fingertips trail over sculpted, taut pecs.
“Oh, yeah,” I murmured, watching every inch I got to touch, shivering when we reached the ridges in his abs. “Can I feel your butt?” I asked, then bit my lip and blushed for being so bold.
He laughed, but moved my hand over his hip and around to the back. My palm skimmed hard orbs and I sighed, closing my eyes and arching my back. When I squeezed his tush, he grunted and thrust his cock against my hip. Before I knew it, my knees were bending and legs were parting, silently begging him to take me.
“Jesus,” he breathed. “How sore do you feel? Do you think you can—”
“If you don’t fuck me right now, I may never forgive you.”
“Thank God.” He let go of my wrist to grab the second condom of the night.
I was still palming his ass and was almost certain he didn’t even notice until he had the prophylactic on. But then, sadly, he removed my fingers from him right before he shifted and pushed inside me.
It was different this time. I was still sore from our first round and my inner muscles were slightly swollen, making him feel bigger. But it didn’t hurt like the first. This time felt...ooh, damn. I liked this.
“Harder,” I insisted, trying to meet his plunges, though sometimes my CP threw off the rhythm. Brandt didn’t seem to mind; he controlled the pace and movement, and I just needed to enjoy each impact.
Sitting up, he stared down with intensity as he speared my pussy repeatedly, shoving into me with a primal thirst.
“God, I love watching your tits bounce.” He stroked faster, jarring them more so they’d jiggle harder.
Loving the arousal on his face, I grabbed my breasts with both hands and rolled the hard ends under my thumbs.
“Fucking Christ,” he groaned, his face flushing red and eyes going unfocused. “I’m gonna come. Oh fuck, Sarah, I can’t—”
That shot me over the edge for some reason. My body tensed, then released with a force that rocked me, making me scream and shudder and come harder than ever.
Above me, he shouted out his orgasm.
I swear, my fingernails gouged holes into the sheets until my body was able to calm down again. Brandt just barely managed to pull free from me before he collapsed face-first onto the mattress next to me.
“Holy fucking wow,” his muffled voice came from the pillow where his mouth was buried.
I beamed, feeling like I needed to preen in triumph because, seriously...I had no idea I’d ever be able to affect a man like this with my sexual prowess. But accomplishing what I just had—with Brandt of all people—was just...no words could describe the joy bubbling inside me, flowing through my veins and making me glow.
With a giggle, I said, “You’re welcome.”
Laughing, he turned his face so he could focus on me. For the longest second, we shared a grin. No words seemed necessary; we just knew...we made each other extremely happy.
But then the moment passed and he shifted as if uncomfortable before he winced. “I need to get rid of this condom, but I don’t want to move.”
“I need to go to the bathroom too,” I lamented. “But I don’t want to move either. Reese always told me that peeing after sex helps keep you from getting a urinary tract infection.”
“Infection?” In a sudden flurry of movement, Brandt sat upright and flew off the bed. “Shit, why didn’t you say something sooner? I’ll carry you.”
I blinked, watching him quickly dispose of his condom before returning to the bed to scoop me into his arms. “I don’t think it was quite that urgent,” I tried, hoping to calm the panic on his face. “A couple more minutes wouldn’t have mattered that much. And really, you don’t have to carry me.”
When he glanced at me, his features smoothed and mouth relaxed into a soft, affectionate, almost-smile. “I don’t mind. The sooner the better, though, right? You didn’t go after the first time.”
I ran my finger down his cheek. “But what about you not wanting to move?”
“Hey, if you’re leaving the bed, then so am I.” His lips crinkled into a strange sort of pout. “I want to stay with you right now.”
Laughing, I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my forehead to his jaw as he carried me from my room. “So you want to go to the bathroom with me?”
“I’m feeling clingy,” he growled, sending me an irritable glance. “Deal with it.”
“Okay.” Still chuckling, I sighed and let him carry me until we reached the bathroom I shared with the twins.
A mesh bag hanging from the shower curtain rod held all their bath toys and the sink counter was mostly clogged with my cosmetics.
Brandt set me back on my feet next to the toilet, but strangely, he didn’t leave. Turning his back to me—I guess, his way of giving me privacy—he wandered toward the sink and inspected my lotion rack. After picking one up, opening it and giving it a sniff, he’d set it back down and pick up the next.
I tried not to get stage fright as my gaze fixated on his bare ass. God, he had such a nice ass, and it looked even better naked.
“This one’s my favorite,” he announced, turning back to show me my three-quarters-empty bottle of warm vanilla sugar. But I already knew this, reason number one why it was used more than the others.
Blinking up into Brandt’s blue eyes, however, the only thing I could think to say was, “I can’t believe you just stood there and listened to me pee.”
This was so weird, and the weirdest part about it was that it felt strangely domestically cozy.
Chuckling at the dazed expression on my face, he asked, “Finished?”
With a nod, I held up my arms, feeling like a toddler silently asking a grown-up to hold me. Obliging, Brandt swept forward, paused at the sink so I could wash my hands, and then he carried me back to my room.
Once we were bundled back under the sheets together, he became my cuddling best friend again, tugging me close and lying on his back to stare up at the ceiling as he took my hand and interlaced our fingers. With his thumb playing with mine and his gaze fixed on my ceiling, he murmured, “It feels extra quiet without your brother, and Reese, and the twins around.”
I nodded, watching his face and wondering what was really going on in his mind. He seemed too preoccupied with phasing out to have seen my nod, though, so I also said aloud, “Yeah, it does.”
“I wonder if this is how it’d be if we lived together.”
Everything inside me froze. But seriously, had he just said...
Live together?
My pulse jerked into overdrive and my mind whirled. I’d be lying if I claimed I never dreamed of such things. Brandt was the man I wanted to be with until I was old and gray, rocking our grandbabies on our front porch swing together. But to hear him say anything in line with my biggest, deepest wishes was just...bizarre.
Forcing myself not to get my hopes up, I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered, honestly. “Probably.”
He nodded, not really responding, too busy thinking. And now I really wanted to know what thoughts were whir
ling through his head.
Then he said, “Do you ever wish you’d met your dad?”
“What?” I blinked, thrown off track again. But where the heck had that come from?
He turned his gaze to me. “Just curious. I was thinking how alike we were. You know, brought up by worthless single moms until our big brothers took us in, and dads who’ve never been in the picture. So, I don’t know...it made me wonder if you ever thought about your dad: what he was like and if you ever wanted to meet him.”
“I don’t know,” I murmured, still trying to catch up with his complete turn in thought process. “Probably not. I heard Mason tell Reese once that my dad left as soon as they found out about my CP.”
“Bastard,” Brandt hissed, his face going dark.
“So...no, I doubt I’d ever want to find him or meet him. Mason has been more than enough of a surrogate dad to me for me to ever want the biological one.”
“Yeah,” Brandt murmured thoughtfully, nodding. “That’s pretty much how I feel too. I have no desire whatsoever to even look mine up.”
“Then why did you mention it?” I turned on my side, hoping he’d tell me why his mind was skipping around so much.
But he only shrugged and returned his attention to the ceiling. “I don’t know. I guess I was just feeling reflective. Thinking forward, thinking about the past. Just...thinking.”
Unable to handle it a second longer, I placed my palm warmly against his temple. “What the heck is going on in here, Brandt Gamble? Are you having doubts?”
“What?” He gaped. “Fuck no. Just the opposite, actually. I was feeling grateful I have you in my life. So I was thinking about where we’d come from and where we were going from here. That’s all.”
“And...” I shook my head, trying to ignore the ball of worry growing in my stomach. “Where are we going from here?”
He grinned. “No clue. But as long as we’re going there together, I decided I don’t care. I’m just going to enjoy the ride.”
My stomach settled, and a smile eased onto my lips. “Does sex always make you this philosophical?”