“Mmm,” Brandt hummed out his pleasure from deep in this throat. “And what a nice birthday present it was. Thank you.”
Oh, crap. He was with a girl. Like with a girl. Having sex.
My face heated suddenly as I started to wheel backward from the door. Pain ricocheted through my stomach and my fingers went cold and numb. It became hard to maneuver, so I just stopped and squeezed my eyes closed, continuing to listen to everything they said.
“But...time to put your clothes back on, sweetheart,” Brandt told Hope. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh as if he’d just spanked her bare butt shot from his room. “I need to take a shower before I head over to Sarah’s house in an hour. She’s treating me to supper tonight.”
God.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him talking about me when he was naked with another girl.
I knew he wasn’t a virgin or anything. I’d heard the rumors, I wasn’t stupid. But he never told me about any of that, so it was easy to just pretend none of it happened.
I was just his friend. I shouldn’t be bothered by what he did with other girls, anyway.
Except I was. As I sat there, listening to Hope coo, “Aww. I think it’s so sweet how nice to her you are,” I just wanted to claw her eyes out.
I wanted to cry. Or scream.
Or cry while I was screaming and clawing her eyes out.
I wanted to burst in there and drag her out by her hair. And then I wanted to hit him in the chest.
Except I had no right. I was just his friend, and honestly, until this very moment, I’d always been perfectly content about that. But hearing him with someone else flipped some kind of switch inside me.
I think I was in love with Brandt. Like love-love, the gooey, kissy, get married, make babies and live happily ever after kind of love.
Holy hell. When had that happened? I’d always thought he was beautiful. I loved his heart and wanted to spend more time with him than anyone else, but I’d never had any sexual interest in him. Until now.
I definitely did now. I was so painfully jealous that Hope had been able to see and touch parts of him I never had.
“Why wouldn’t I be nice to her?” Brandt was saying. His voice went momentarily muffled as if he’d tugged on a shirt while he was talking. “She’s my friend.”
Just friends, I reminded myself. Nothing more. If he’d ever wanted more from me, he would’ve said or done something years ago to let me know, instead of losing it to Shayla the cheerleader slut, right?
“Yeah, but...not really,” Hope said, making me frown as I wondered what that meant.
Brandt sounded just as confused as he asked, “What do you mean, not really?”
“I mean...I don’t know. She drools!”
My hand shot to my mouth, and my face went hot when I realized, yep, there was moisture collecting at the corner of my mouth. How humiliating. I wanted to cry out that I couldn’t help it, but I definitely didn’t want them knowing I was here now.
In Brandt’s room, he said, “Excuse me?” in a slow, deadly calm voice.
I’d known him long enough to realize that was his getting-pissed voice.
“It’s okay; you can be straight with me. You’re only nice to her because she’s...you know, handicapped, right?”
“No,” he growled. “Not right. I’m nice to her because I honestly like her. It’s not just some pity friendship. Fuck drool. Sarah is one of the most important people in my life. I love her.”
Warmth spread through my chest. I knew he didn’t mean his words in the full capacity that I wanted him to, but they filled me with this overwhelming sensation that almost made it hard to breathe because my heart was so bursting. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.
It was bittersweet, as sad as it was lovely. I kind of wanted to weep happy tears mixed with depressed ones.
Until Hope sniffed. “Love? Yeah right. If her drool and wheelchair don’t mean anything to you and you love her so much, then why am I the one naked in your bed, and not her?”
That was actually a very good question. Brandt had never once made a romantic move toward me. He’d never kissed me or even come close to kissing me. He’d never once crossed the line of friendship. But if he loved me as he claimed, then yeah...why? What if it was because of my CP?
Instead of answering Hope, however, he snarled, “You’re about to be naked on my front porch if you don’t stop pissing me off. Sarah is off limits to you.”
Wow. My eyebrows shot up at that possessive little claim. It kind of made me feel bad for thinking he’d ever held anything back from me because of my condition. He really did love me. Just platonically.
“Jeez, Brandt. Calm down. I’m just trying to understand. She’s pretty enough when she isn’t writhing around. So why—”
“Because she’s my friend, and you don’t go fucking up your friendship by sleeping with that person. Not that it’s any of your business, anyway. Now, could you put your clothes on already?”
Oh, so that was why. Hmm, I wasn’t sure what to think of that. As I wondered if that was the only thing holding him back, Hope whistled.
“Wow, you’re really mad, aren’t you?”
“You just insulted my best friend. What’d you expect me to be?”
“You just had sex with me. I expected you to be a little less protective of another girl? You’re kind of making me feel as if you’re choosing her over me.”
“Hope, Sarah will be my friend forever. You...well, who knows how long you’ll stick around. I’ll always choose her over anyone.”
I’d heard enough. I wasn’t sure whether I should be thrilled because he so adamantly defended me or sick to my stomach with regret because he even felt as if he had to. Or disappointed in him because he was treating a girl he’d just slept with so rudely.
Spinning in my wheelchair, I hurried back to the kitchen as the argument in his bedroom escalated so that I could pretty much hear it as plainly as I had just outside his doorway.
“Oh my God, you are such an asshole. I can’t believe I let a jerk like you inside me.”
“Hey, you’re the one who showed up here, looking to get laid. I didn’t chase you down. I didn’t beg you for it. I think you got exactly what you wanted.”
“Yeah, until I found you were a sicko freak fucker.”
“That’s it!” he roared loud enough to make the walls shake. “Get the fuck out of my house. Right now.”
“Let go of my arm, you bastard. Hey! I’m not finished—my shirt!”
“You can finish getting dressed outside.” I heard their footsteps march through the house until the front door came open.
“You’re such a—” The slam of the door muffled out whatever name Hope was going to shriek at him next.
I jumped and pressed my hand to my mouth.
A second of silence passed before Brandt snarled, “Son of a bitch,” quickly followed by the boom of something crashing to the floor in the front room, quickly followed by shattering glass.
With another startled jolt, I squeezed my eyes shut, but tears still trickled through.
Brandt was a very physical person. He ruled the football field whenever he played and had gotten in quite a few brawls over the years, but he’d never been violent. I wasn’t scared of him now either. I was kind of scared for him, though.
He’d just lost Hope because of me.
I never realized how much flak he received just for being my friend. The thrilled excitement I’d felt when entering this house had morphed from a cold, sick jealousy and then into an honored joy that he loved me, but was now becoming bone-crippling guilt.
I could handle the bitter pill of only being his friend, but I never wanted him to suffer because of it.
Maybe I should just go. I was no good for him. And now, I was only going to be pathetic, pining after him when he didn’t think of me in the same way at all. This sucked so bad.
I turned for the door, but as soon as I opened it, wheeled down the ramp, and
turned the corner of the house to see my new car, I slowed to a stop.
We still had plans to meet. He was going to show up at my house within the hour if I didn’t stick around. Mason and Reese would be as confused as hell if I went home now. And I couldn’t cancel on him. It was his birthday.
Blowing out a breath, I lingered outside a few minutes, letting the cool October air wash over me and cool my nerves before I returned to the house. Brandt must be the speediest shower taker on earth because when I opened the screen door and re-entered the kitchen, he strolled in seconds later, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, no shoes, as he rubbed his hair dry with a towel.
Jerking to a halt when he saw me, he blinked and then smiled. “Hey. How’d you get here? Did Mason drop you off? I was planning on picking you up, you know.”
I shrugged, suddenly shy, all the while unable to stop wondering where Hope had touched him and kissed him.
“I know,” I murmured, my cheeks warming as I glanced at my lap. “I just...” What the hell was I doing? This was Brandt, the boy I’d known better than anyone else on earth for five years. I could look him in the eye when I talked to him.
Forcing my face up, I gulped when everything inside me felt funny for merely looking him in the eye. What was wrong with me? Everything felt so different.
Sensing the change, Brandt cocked his head to the side and stepped forward, his eyes filling with worry. “What’s wrong?” Then something passed over his face. “How long have you been here?”
He must be wondering if I’d caught him with Hope. The last thing I wanted was for him to know I knew about that. So I said, “I just got here. I...drove.”
His brow crinkled. “You...drove?” A second later, his eyes widened. “Holy shit, you got your license?”
Finally—freaking finally—I was able to smile a genuine smile as I beamed up at him. “Yes.”
“Oh my God!” He swept forward and scooped me out of my chair to hug me and twirl me in a circle as he laughed out his joy. “Congratulations! This is amazing. I knew you could do it.”
I closed my eyes as my nose smashed against his shoulder. He smelled of fresh soap and shampoo, like Brandt. My Brandt. Another twinge clipped at my heart, thinking about another girl sniffing my Brandt as he lowered me back into my chair and stepped back to grin at me.
“Whose car did you drive?”
Pride burst in my chest, even though it was laced with sadness as I said, “Mine. Mason and Reese along with Pick and Eva chipped in to buy me an SUV with a wheelchair ramp on the back.”
“No shit? That’s so awesome. Let me grab my shoes and we can check out your new ride. This is amazing. I’m so proud of you, Sarah.” He stamped a quick kiss to my cheek before racing from the kitchen and calling over his shoulder, “We’re taking your wheels to dinner, by the way!”
He sounded so happy for me that my heart cracked just a little. I loved this man. I loved everything about him. So I’d stop my feelings from straying to places they didn’t belong. Because the last thing I wanted to do, ever, was lose him.
BRANDT
AGE 22
I arrived to work early. Pick had hired a new bartender. A chick. Probably the first chick to ever mix drinks behind the counter of the Forbidden Nightclub, and I didn’t want to scare her off by the state of things.
But the place was a freaking pigsty. Hardly any of the douchebags I worked with these days cleaned up after themselves. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d come in to stale beer stains puddled on the floor or the cash drawer not even counted and cleared.
I missed the days when the old crew used to work here, like Noel, and Mason, and Ten and those guys. They knew how to keep a place in tip-top shape.
But most of them had moved on and gotten better-paying jobs elsewhere before I’d even been hired. About the only two stragglers left from the original gang were Asher and Knox, and neither of them were full-timers. Knox was turning out to be quite the boxer and had worked his way into paid fights, while Asher...rock star and all that. Both of them only worked maybe a night or two a week, so the other five to six nights were left to me to take care of shit.
Hence the reason I was here now, mopping the fucking nasty floor before we opened. After that, I knelt down behind the counter to check the tanks hooked up to the tap, and while I was down there, the front door of the club burst open before an irritatingly familiar voice boomed, “Yo! Big bro! Where you at?”
Closing my eyes, I groaned before I straightened to send the teen a scowl. “What’re you doing here?”
“There’s a home basketball game tonight. Thought I’d hang there after popping by here to say hey to you.”
Grabbing a nearby towel, I wiped my hands clean. “I thought Aspen grounded you.”
“I know, right? Wasn’t that cute of her to try?” Plopping onto a stool across the bar from me, Colton tapped his fingers along the countertop while he studied the row of alcohol behind me as if he were trying to make up his mind on what to order.
I shook my head. “You sure you want to cross her on this? She was pretty pissed at you. I mean, you snuck a girl into your room. To have sex. While we were all in the freaking house. Not even I have done that.”
“I didn’t exactly sneak her in. We came in through the front door, very unsneaky-like. Totally wasn’t my fault everyone was already asleep when we landed, otherwise I would’ve introduced her.”
After tossing the towel aside, I got busy filling bowls with beer nuts. “Oh, so you would’ve asked permission to fuck her in your bed if Aspen and Noel had been up?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” With a grin, he reached over and snagged a handful. “Can I get a Crown and coke?”
“Fuck no.” I smacked away his hand when he reached for more nuts. “Why don’t you go back home and suck up to Aspen? Maybe she’ll forgive you for breaking your grounding.”
“Aspen loves me. She’ll forgive me anyway. How about a Tom Collins?”
“How about you get lost? I’m not giving you alcohol, idiot. You’re underage. You want me to lose my job?”
Colton let out a long, dramatic sigh. “Fine. Be a loser.” Tapping his hand once again along the bar top, he glanced around to watch the waitresses set up the tables before turning back to me. “So where’s this new bartender chick you said was Halle Berry hot? You’re going to try to hit that, right?”
I shot him a killer glare, silently commanding him to shut his pie hole, right about the time someone cleared her throat behind him. “She’s standing right behind you, jackass.”
I froze as Colton and I shared a glance. Shit; the little prick had just shoved me face-first in a pot of boiling water. As he swung around, I glanced past him to find Julianna glaring, her arms crossed over her chest and one toe tapping against the floor.
Yep, she was pissed.
She was probably going to be impossible to work with now, thinking I wanted to score with her. And if Colton wasn’t careful, I might also be down a brother before the night was over.
But did the idiot immediately start gushing out an apology? No, not Colton. He didn’t even blush, merely blurted, “Holy shit,” before he swung back to me and extended a fist to pound it out as he grinned. “Nice.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Put that away, dumbass.” Upsetting my new coworker was the very opposite of nice.
Colton wasn’t apologetic, though. He whirled back to Julianna and held out his hand to shake with her. “I’m not really a dumbass. The name’s actually Colton. It is so nice to meet you.”
Julianna merely lifted one eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m not impressed.”
Undeterred, Colton shrugged and kept smiling. “All part of the plan, baby doll. I hate setting the bar too high on first impressions, you see. That way, when I actually do something decent, you’ll be dazzled instead of only mildly bored.” Tipping his head to the side, he studied her a moment before murmuring, “I can’t believe he called you a Halle. You are so not a Halle. You don’t have her cheekb
ones and your nose is too wide.”
Croaking out a sound of disbelief, Julianna looked hurt and pissed all at the same time as her mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
Colton snapped his fingers and pointed. “You’re a Rihanna. She’s like ten times naughtier than Halle could ever be, anyway, which totally just...rocks my world. The dirtier the chick, the hotter she gets. Am I right?”
When he glanced my way, honestly expecting me to back him up, I growled, “Colton,” in the hopes he’d shut it already.
But the idiot just shook his head, confused. “What? So I’m a Rihanna kind of guy. Sue me.”
As I pressed my hand to my face, shaking my head, Julianna opened her mouth, most likely to lambast him with some kind of cutting remark. Quickly, I popped between them. “I am so sorry; this clown just wandered in. I have no idea who he is.”
“I’m his brother,” Colton announced proudly.
I shot him a killer glare. “He’s leaving.”
“I just got here.” He transferred his grin to Julianna as she joined me behind the bar. “Hey, could you hook me up with some sex on the beach?”
My coworker whirled to send him a look that actually made me worry for his balls. “Sex on the what?”
But he only smiled and lifted his hands harmlessly. “I meant the drink...of course.”
I sighed, realizing I should probably save him before Julianna maimed him beyond repair. “Don’t bother, Juli. He’s only seventeen.”
“But I won’t be forever.” Colton wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Juli, huh? You are so invited to my eighteenth birthday party, Juli. It’s this June. You’re free in June, right?”
Oh, Jesus. He had no notion of self-preservation at all.
“Will you get lost already?”
“But I came here to talk to you.”
“I figured. Except I didn’t care what you wanted the minute you walked in, and I still don’t care now. So scram. You know you can’t be here once they unlock the doors.” Not until he turned eighteen.