“They said our caroling was lovely.”
“Again, they were just being polite.”
“Oh yeah?” Luke smirked proudly as they entered the foyer to find a table generously piled with drinks and Christmas cookies.
“Whatever.” Darcy crossed her arms, pretending not to be bothered that she’d lost this argument. She’d get him next time.
“Sick cookies!” Lyle said, diving for the five-pointed stars decorated with gold metallic-looking beads of sugar.
The night went on like this, the group shuffling from house to house singing “Twelve Days of Christmas” or “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” or “Joy to the World” or any one they could remember clearly after the fourth house, once the numbing combination of cold and spiked eggnog was getting to their heads.
“Okay, where to now?” Bingley asked as they finished up at the Cole household on Merithew Street.
“It’s almost midnight,” said Darcy. “I think we’re done.”
“I know,” Luke said with a mischievous smile. “Let’s hit up the Fitzwilliam house.”
“Ooh, good idea!” Bingley cheered. “They have the best eggnog in town.”
“My mother is sick,” she reminded them. “Now isn’t the time.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” said Luke. “I think now she could use some Christmas cheer more than ever.”
Darcy glared at him.
“You know what? Fine.” She gave in. “You’re probably right.”
She did not think he was right. In fact, she knew her mom was most likely asleep and her dad would come to the door, annoyed. But this would be a success for her personally for three reasons: (1) It would prove her right, thus giving her one win over Luke. (2) It would annoy her dad, thus getting back at him for his petty attitude toward her over the past eight years. And (3) she’d get to crawl into bed and abandon the awkwardness of the caroling gang once and for all.
Unfortunately for her, none of it went according to plan.
Her dad opened the door, surprised and delighted to see them there.
“We’ve had so many strangers come by tonight,” he said. “I’ve been wondering when we’d get some familiar faces. And my own daughter nonetheless!” He pulled her in for an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek. His breath was redolent of eggnog. Ah, that explained it: he was drunk. Luke gave her his classic victory glance.
Okay yes, this, she thought, this is exactly why you cannot fall for this guy. He’s always going to have to have the last word, he’s always going to have to win. It won’t work. Please, dear Lord, spare yourself the grief.
“Mrs. Fitzwilliam is asleep, but please come in and have some eggnog. We have so much of it left over you could fill a swimming pool, honest to God.”
Darcy pushed her way through the doorway and poured herself a mug of eggnog, using a long silver ladle. It was her fifth one of the night. She took a generous gulp.
“Hey,” Luke said with a hint of flirtation in his voice. “Looks like you’re standing under mistletoe … again.”
“Goddammit,” Darcy cursed. “What is with my family and mistletoe? Hang it up in one place, sure, but all over the house? I mean, this is just excessive. Good thing this time I’m under it alone.”
“Not anymore,” Luke said, sliding up next to her so that they were both, once again, standing together under mistletoe.
Wait a second, she thought, is he still thinking about me too? What does he want from me? Do we—she grimaced inwardly—have feelings for each other?
“You are so childish,” Darcy scoffed, turning away from him. But before she could stop herself, before she knew what she was doing, she spun back around, pulled him in by the collar, and kissed him on the mouth.
8
The light pierced through blue gingham curtains, jolting Darcy awake. Her head throbbed with the aftermath of too much eggnog. Where am I? she thought, in a disoriented panic. She blinked and looked around, settling back into reality, and realized that she was in her childhood bedroom. In her underwear. Weird, she thought. Where are my pajamas? She glanced to her left and saw, to her absolute horror, that Luke Bennet was in her bed, fast asleep.
Mother—! She had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming out. Why, Darcy, why? Very slowly, she sat up and removed the covers from her body, then tiptoed to her bathroom door, where her fleece bathrobe hung on a hook, as quietly as possible, so as to not wake him. She didn’t know exactly what her plan was from here on out. Maybe she’d hide out in the downstairs library until she could be sure that he was gone. Or maybe now was as good a time as any to fly back to New York and pretend none of this had ever happened.
“Morning, angel.” She spun around to see Luke sitting up in bed, stretching his arms in each direction. Dammit, she hadn’t moved fast enough.
“Uh…” She laughed nervously. “What did you just call me?”
“Angel. It’s what you told me to call you, don’t you remember? Right after we confessed our true love for each other? It would be a shame if you don’t remember that; it was seriously magical. Best night of my life. Hands down.”
Darcy’s heart plummeted. For a second she thought she might throw up. What had she done? How could she have possibly said those things to him? And now he loved her? In the span of one drunken night she had managed to get herself in way over her head. Her whole body surged with regret and remorse.
Just then, Luke started laughing.
“Oh my God.” He gasped for breath. “The look on your face.”
“What?” she demanded. “What is so funny?”
“I’m just kidding, Darcy. Nothing happened between us last night.”
“Oh thank God.” She clutched her chest. “Are you sure? You’re sure nothing happened?”
“Yes. You were really drunk and you kissed me downstairs. We were making out and you brought me up to your bedroom and started taking off your clothes—”
“Ugh,” Darcy cringed. “That’s bad.”
“Oh no, it was good. It was all very good, until you flung yourself onto the bed and passed out. Literally. You were out cold.”
“Well, that’s embarrassing, but it’s less embarrassing than if I had actually slept with you, so I’ll take it.”
“Well, you did want to sleep with me, you made that much clear.”
“I did not.”
“Then how’d we get up here?”
“I don’t know, Luke, I was wasted. For all I know you tried to take advantage of me and brought me up here just because you wanted to.” Don’t let this become a thing, she repeated. Don’t let this become a thing.
But she knew this much was true: she did remember kissing him first, and had a blurry memory of leading him seductively up the stairs.
“If I had wanted to take advantage of you, I would have. You gave me plenty of opportunities for that. But I’m a gentleman. And sex with a girl who is that drunk can’t possibly be consensual.”
“Well, good for you, Mr. Morality.”
“So, breakfast time?”
“No!” she laughed, appalled at the suggestion. “It’s time for you to go home. I have calls to make.”
“To all your girlfriends, telling them about the hottie you woke up next to this morning?”
“Um, definitely not. For your information, if I don’t have time for boyfriends I definitely don’t have time for girlfriends. I have colleagues and employees, all of whom are depending on me to make this investment deal go through.”
“That’s depressing.”
“Maybe to you.”
“It’s not depressing to you that you don’t have friends or a boyfriend?”
“Definitely not,” she snapped. “I follow my passions and dreams every day and live a very rewarding life because of it.”
“And … hedge funds are your passion?”
“Money is my passion. Making money is my passion.”
“Cold, hard cash, huh?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Sounds …
fulfilling.”
“Okay, buddy, time for you and your judgment to leave. Great chattin’ with ya.”
“Okay, okay,” he gave in, standing up. Darcy was profoundly relieved to see that he was wearing his jeans from the night before. “I’m leaving.”
“Okay then.” She crossed her arms when he tried to give her a hug. Alternately, she extended her hand for a handshake, which he gave her amusedly.
“You’re a real … interesting girl, Darcy.”
“Wow, fun and interesting? I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Good,” he said. “You should.”
She gave a half smile and closed the door behind him.
What was all that about? she wondered. If he bothered her so much when she was sober, why did she suddenly feel so drawn to him when drunk? And if she disliked him so intensely, then why did she feel an odd sense of disappointment creeping up inside her now that he had left? And he didn’t have feelings for her, did he? The way he was talking, it was starting to seem like perhaps he might. Or was it all in her head? And why did it matter? Why did she care? I don’t have feelings for Luke Bennet, she told herself. There’s just no way. Right? I mean, maybe if he were more … She shook her head, cutting the thought off at its root.
She had an hour until her conference call, and she decided to nap until then. She could think of nothing better in this moment than to be unconscious, free from the confusing buzz that was currently disrupting her mind. She took off her bathrobe and slipped back under the covers. The pillows, to her dismay, now smelled like Luke.
“Ugh-h-h,” she groaned, trying to summon the energy to get new pillowcases from the cabinet in the hallway. But suddenly the effort didn’t seem worth it. Suddenly, she found that she didn’t even want to get rid of the smell. She nuzzled her face into the fabric, breathed in deeply, and was asleep.
* * *
She woke an hour later to the jarring sound of her phone buzzing violently against the wooden nightstand. It was Millie.
She snapped herself awake and spoke into the receiver. “This is Darcy. Whattaya got for me?”
“The deal fell through.” Millie’s voice was timid.
“What?” Darcy nearly fainted.
9
It was an hour later when Bingley came over, carrying a box of gourmet chocolates under one arm.
“Let’s eat them out by the pool,” Darcy suggested grumpily. “The sun seems to have come out for a second. We might as well soak it up.”
They each took their own lounge chair and stretched out across the blue canvas.
“You’re going to be okay, Darcy. It’s not like they’re going to fire you over this, are they?”
“No,” she grumbled. “We were just hoping to make a lot on this one. I was going to finally buy my boat.”
“Aw, poor baby! Maybe the boat will have to wait until next year.”
“It’s not just me, though.” She tried to justify her disappointment so that he’d understand she wasn’t really as much of a selfish bitch as she had just made herself seem. “I wanted this for our clients. I do this for them too, you know. It’s one thing to make yourself rich, but it’s another feeling altogether to make other people rich.”
“That’s a very … interesting version of humanitarianism.”
“Shut up.” She shoved him playfully. “I never claimed it was noble. If anything, it’s probably some glitch in my psychology that makes me need to make droves of people happy constantly in order for my ego to be properly nourished.”
“Hmm. Cool insight. At least you understand yourself.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come home,” she sighed. “I was so scared when I heard about my mom that I hopped on the first plane that I could, but now it’s like she doesn’t even need me. And she says she’s fine. But I don’t know. Something tells me she’s just putting on a brave face and that I should stay. At least until Christmas. I mean, people are mostly gone from the office anyway … Let’s talk about something else, before I crawl into my bed and never leave.”
“So what’s the deal with you and Luke?” Bingley asked, biting into a chocolate.
“What do you mean?” she asked, trying not to sound too flustered. “There’s no deal with me and Luke.”
“You were literally all over each other last night after caroling. You literally took him up to your room.”
“Wha—No, that’s not—I … uh—”
“First of all, you are adorable when you stammer. Second of all, we all saw you. You don’t need to be embarrassed. Luke’s hot.”
“Ugh,” she groaned, and let her head hang down, resting it in her palms. “He’s hot but he’s the worst and I hate him. I can’t believe people saw us kissing. What do my parents put in that eggnog? I mean, good God.”
“You sound like a fifth grader. Getting all flustered over a boy. You like him.”
“I do not.”
“You’re blushing.”
“Okay, fine.” She threw her hands up. “The truth is, I have no idea how I feel about him or what’s going on. But if I’m being really honest with myself, I would say at this point it’s safe to say I don’t not like him.”
“Ha! Knew it.”
“All right, all right.” She rolled her eyes and stuffed a chocolate into her mouth. “No gloating.”
“So what’s the problem? Just date him!”
“Bingley, I can’t! He’s a jerk! I mean, he means well, but all we do is push each other’s buttons. And it’s not like I’m going to leave New York, so there’s just no point.”
“Who said anything about leaving New York? What’s wrong with a little winter vacation fling? I mean, why fight it?”
“I don’t know…” she said. “To be honest I don’t even want to think about it. Whatever happens will happen.” But just as she said it, a theory began to form: What if she didn’t want this fling to happen because she knew it could never be only a fling?
“Funny how much can happen in such a short time,” Bingley remarked whimsically. “Just two days ago we hadn’t seen each other in eight years, and now here we are, both making out with Bennet brothers. Love it.”
“That’s right!” Darcy’s eyes lit up, remembering the exciting new romance between two of her favorite people. “How are things going with Jim? He’s great, isn’t he?”
“Oh my God, so great,” Bingley gushed. “We’ve been weirdly inseparable ever since you introduced us. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone before.”
“What are you going to do about what’s-his-name?”
“You mean Marco?”
“If Marco is the man you live with in Los Angeles, then yes.”
“Oh, we broke up months ago.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said, brushing it off. “But listen, I’m thinking of moving back here to be with Jim.”
“Excuse me?” She gasped, almost choking on a chocolate.
“Yeah, what do you think?”
“I think it’s crazy.”
“Whoa, don’t hide how you really feel or anything.”
“Well, you asked me! You have this awesome life in Los Angeles. I don’t see why you’d want to give all that up to come back to Pemberley.” She couldn’t help grimacing as she said it.
“Um, how about true love?”
“Okay, sure, maybe. But look, you just met this guy, Bingley. Like, just. Maybe you should take a little more time to get to know him. Slowing things down just a tad never hurt anybody, right?”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I know things are exciting with him right now; you’re in the honeymoon stage of the honeymoon stage, babe. But try to think about this practically.”
“Practically how?”
“Don’t get me wrong. I adore Jim. But he’s not like us. He doesn’t care about the excitement and the drive of the big cities. We dream big, Bingley. That’s why we aren’t here anymore.”
?
??Okay, that’s a good point.”
“Thank you.”
“I have a date with him tonight. Do you think I should cancel?”
“I’m not saying you should blow him off forever. I’m just saying you should take a little bit of space to get some perspective. You’ve been spending every day with him since you got to Pemberley. Any healthy relationship needs some breathing room.”
“All right. Please note that I’m not doing this because I think you’re any sort of oracle on what a healthy relationship is”—he rolled his eyes as if to say, Because you certainly are not—“but because I think you happen to be right on this one point.”
“Noted.”
Bingley took out his phone and dialed.
“You have his number memorized?” Darcy gawked. “How is that even possible? You’ve been with him twenty-four seven. When did you have time to—”
“The heart wants what it wants, okay? Now shh.”
Darcy made a zipping motion across her lips.
“Hey babe!” Bingley lit up as he spoke into the phone. “Hey, so I’m feeling a little bit under the weather and I think I should probably stay in and rest up tonight.… Ugh, I know. Exactly.” He giggled. “I can’t even remember the last time I slept.” Darcy stuck her tongue out in feigned disgust. “Okay, so talk tomorrow?… Awesome.… Love ya, too!”
“You’re already saying I love you?” Darcy couldn’t believe it. She’d never said those words to anyone, let alone someone she’d only just met.
“Not I love you. Just Love ya. There’s a difference.”
“Sure. Okay.” She squinted suspiciously.
“Oh, Darcy, I already miss him so much.”
“Oh my God, you are such a girl.”
“I take that as a compliment.”
“Let’s get out of here.” Darcy yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “I need to get my mind off things. Let’s go dancing.”
“Dancing? Wow, girl. I like the way you think. But it’s barely five o’clock. Nowhere will be open.”
“Club Avon opens at seven. By the time we’re done dolling ourselves up it will be perfect timing.”
“Alrighty then.” He popped a chocolate in his mouth and chewed. “Let’s do it.”