“You sound like an expert,” he said, stepping out of the Prius.
“Yeah, babe, this isn’t the first mess I’ve had to undo,” she said, following him and slamming the black door shut behind them. “Now, which one is his window?”
“Which one is his window?” Bingley stared at her incredulously. “How am I supposed to know?”
“Um, I don’t know, weren’t you dating the guy?”
“Yeah, for three days.”
“Really? Only three days?” She looked back over the short-lived romance. “Maybe I was right. You really were moving too fast.”
“Darcy,” he scolded, “why are we here?”
“Right. Okay, so the window on the second floor on the far left is Luke’s—”
“And wouldn’t you know it,” he remarked with a smirk.
“Oh, grow up.”
“You were saying?”
“The window on the second floor on the far left is Luke’s, and the one right next to that is open almost all the way, so…” She looked up at the window pensively.
“So … so what?” Bingley asked, getting impatient.
“Jim would never let his window stay open in weather like this; he’s too conscientious,” she explained. “So that means that room must be Kit and Lyle’s. Which means the one next to that must be Jim’s.”
“How do you know? It could be his parents’ room! His room could be downstairs! Or he might not even have a room at his parents’ house anymore. Maybe they turned it into a gym.”
“Well, we won’t find out just standing here,” she said, bending down and picking up a small stone buried in between frosty blades of grass. She wound her arm back behind her head.
“No! What are you—” Bingley tried to stop her, but it was too late: the stone went flying from her hand, tapping the window she hoped to be Jim Bennet’s.
“You’re insane,” he hissed, then giggled, giddy with adrenaline. They stood in silent anticipation, staring up at the window, which was staying closed.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Or maybe he’s downstairs.”
“Or maybe we need to take this as a sign and just go home before one of us gets hypothermia.”
Just then, the curtains pulled back and Jim’s face was framed in the window. From down below they could see him raise his left eyebrow in confusion. He lifted the window.
“What the hell are you doing down there?” he called down. “Are you drunk?”
“No, actually, weirdly enough, we’re sober,” Bingley called up. “Although I did have two Kahlúas, but I’ve probably walked those off by now. So I think it’s safe to say that I’m sober, but that’s not—”
“Jim,” Darcy interrupted, “this is all my fault. I told Bingley he was moving too fast with you. I told him to slow things down. That didn’t come from him, that came from me being a jerk. It turns out he doesn’t feel that way at all. In fact, I’ve known him for fourteen years and I’ve never seen him as happy as he has been in the past few days, since he met you. So now that I’ve, uh … gotten that out of the way, I’m gonna pass this invisible microphone here over to Bingley.” She gestured to Bingley hopefully. “Bingley?”
“Yeah, okay.” He cleared his throat. “Listen, Jim, when Darcy said I was moving too fast with you I got scared, because I knew she was right.”
“I was?” she asked, taken aback.
“Yeah, because, see, we like each other a lot, and that isn’t something that happens often. To me, it’s happened … well … never, until now. And I worried that moving fast meant getting to the end sooner, so I wanted to slow it down to make it last longer.” He wiped away the sweat that was forming on his brow, even in the cold. “But the truth is, I’m willing to do anything it takes to make this work with you, even though it sounds crazy, and people will tell us we’re crazy, but it won’t matter. Because it’s better to be together in the unknown than apart in the known, where everything is safe. Am I making sense?” Bingley panted. “I feel like I’m having a stroke.”
“You’re doing great,” Darcy said. “That last part was super-poetic, very impressive.”
“I’m not talking to you,” he panted. “I’m talking to Jim.”
“Oh right, of course.”
“No,” Jim called down. “You’re not making sense. But somehow I understand everything you said. I don’t want this to end either.” He paused, looking around as if for a ladder. “Wait right there; I’ll come down.”
“Oh my God,” Darcy squealed, squeezing Bingley’s arm. “It worked! I’m gonna leave you two alone now.”
“Thanks, Darcy.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks for being crazy and impulsive! This time, it was a great idea!”
“I know!”
She walked away down the street, turning back just once, to see Jim take Bingley’s hands in his and swing them side to side. Then she looked up at the window she knew to be Luke’s, just as the light went on and the snow began to fall.
12
Darcy walked down to the end of the street to give Jim and Bingley some space. She was proud of what she’d done and was thinking of rewarding herself with a slice of chocolate cake, but she was interrupted when they power walked up behind her.
“What do you lovebirds want?” she joked.
“We’re going ice-skating,” Bingley said.
“Congratulations,” she replied.
“You have to come with us,” said Jim.
“Why? You know I’m…” She wanted to say “the worst skater of all time” but didn’t like the idea of admitting that there were things she wasn’t good at it. Owning up to her flaws and weaknesses had never been a strength of Darcy’s.
“The worst skater of all time?” Bingley filled in. “Yeah, we know. But it will be fun to watch you fall on your ass a million times.”
“Rude!” She laughed.
“Ple-e-ease?” Bingley begged. “I’ll buy you hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and I’ll win you one of those obnoxious stuffed animals that you like.”
“Shh!” She blushed. “You can’t tell people these things about me, Bingley. It makes me look all … soft.”
“Oh, Jim won’t tell, right, Jim?”
“Right,” Jim agreed. “Plus, I already knew you liked those gigantic bears anyway.”
“It’s not like you have anything better to do today,” Bingley added.
“You don’t know that!”
“Oh, so I’m wrong?”
“Ugh.” Darcy knew there was no real way out of this. Plus, gliding clumsily around on ice did have some potential for fun, there was no denying it. “Fine. Let’s go.”
She followed them to Jim’s car, thinking that ice-skating might actually be the perfect way to get her mind off the fact that she was powerless against all the goings-on back at the office and that she was supposed to have an answer for Carl soon.
* * *
The inside of Chiller Ice Rink was chillingly cold, which was fine by Darcy, as she had come wearing her champagne-colored North Face jacket.
“Why do they have to keep it so cold in here?” asked Bingley, as the three of them stepped out onto the ice. “It’s cold enough outside; you would think they’d want to give us a break from that in here.”
“Well, they can’t have it warm in here,” Jim laughed. “The ice would melt.”
“A mere technicality,” Bingley said with a feigned snobby British accident, holding his chin high.
On wobbly legs, Darcy smiled at her two friends. It was a good idea to come ice-skating. The cold and the clumsiness were worth it, to see the fruits of her matchmaking labors play out successfully. She let them skate ahead while she lingered along the wooden rail that surrounded the circumference of the rink.
Okay, she said to herself, one step at a time. Easy does it. Just go slowly and you’ll be fine. She inched along, holding on to the rail with one hand. Once she’d gotten used to the feel of being on skates, she attempted to be brave enough to let go. She
raised her hand away from the bar and was pleased to see that she could stand on her own. Without the support of the rail, she slid one foot in front of the other, very slowly moving herself forward. This isn’t so hard, she thought, moving a little bit faster. Gaining confidence, she began to let herself glide along the ice, wondering what she’d thought would be so difficult about this.
“Whoa, look at you!” called Bingley, as he and Jim circled around for the third time.
“Way to go, Darcy!” Jim cheered supportively.
“You guys, I’m really getting the hang of it!” she called out. Just then, in through the sliding doors at the front of the building walked Carl. The suddenness and sheer unpredictability of it caught her so by surprise that she stumbled and fell backward, her butt colliding with hard, cold ice.
“Oh my God, Darcy!” Bingley laughed, skating back around to help her up. “What happened to you?”
Her tailbone was throbbing, but it was nothing compared to the embarrassment of knowing everyone had seen her fall—even Carl and the other guys he was with.
“It’s Carl,” she said to Bingley, who was holding her tightly by the elbow so that she wouldn’t slip again. “Carl Donovan just walked in.”
“So?” asked Bingley. “I thought things were whatever between you two?”
“Well, they’re not whatever anymore,” she said under her breath, as if Carl could hear them. “After my parents’ party he gave me an ultimatum. He said I had to decide if we were going to be together, once and for all. If I say no, he’s going to move on and not give me any other chances.”
“Oh my God,” said Bingley. “What are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know yet!” she muttered. “That’s why I don’t want to see him. Or him to see me.”
“It seems like it’s too late for that,” said Bingley, as Carl came skating over across the ice.
“Fancy running into you here,” Carl said, gentlemanly as ever.
“Why did I let you talk me into this?” Darcy muttered to Bingley, under her breath.
“Sorry?” Carl asked.
“Nothing.” Darcy smiled. “Bingley and Jim dragged me here today. Wasn’t, uh … expecting to see you.”
“I see you still aren’t exactly a pro on the ice.” He smiled. “I remember when we came here on a date, junior year. You lost control and slammed right into the—”
“The Plexiglas. Yes, I remember. Great times.”
“I’ll leave you two to catch up,” said Bingley. “Great seeing you, Carl.”
“No, Bingley, pl—” She tried to stop him, but it was too late. He was gliding away on the ice, toward Jim. Darcy watched their hands in mittens latch on to each other as they skated away like a pair of turtle doves—whatever the hell those were. Darcy still didn’t know.
She looked at Carl and had a flash of the first time she ever saw him, crossing through the science quad at Pemberley High in a black peacoat and beige plaid scarf. She had been drawn to him right away. He had reminded her of a younger, more intelligent looking version of Ben Affleck.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me.” Carl shrugged. “I can get back to the boys if you prefer.” He gestured toward the bleachers, where the guys he had come in with were still lacing up their skates.
“No. It’s okay. I know I owe you a conversation.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” he said gently.
“Let’s talk now.” She thought of the diamond on Charlotte Collins’s finger and felt bad for herself that she could ever have thought Luke was an option for her. She had to get realistic.
“Right here?” He seemed surprised, knowing that ice was not among her favorite places to be.
“Yes. Here.” She’d avoided Carl long enough, and she longed to get rid of the pent-up guilt she had about the way she had treated him.
“Oh boy.” Carl sighed. “This doesn’t sound good. You know, I really don’t want to rush you. Please take your time and think this through.”
“No, Carl, listen…” She took his hand in hers. “I have been thinking it through. I don’t know why I’ve been fighting this for so long. You were my first … well, my first … Ugh. You know I hate that word.”
“Are you trying to say I was your first love?” He stared, bug-eyed and intrigued.
“Yes.” She cringed. “As much as I hate to say it, I think it might be true.” She knew it wasn’t true. But she needed to feel like she was lovable, needed to be with someone who knew what he wanted. And if Carl was nothing else, he was a man who knew what he wanted.
“Wow.”
“Yeah, and the only reason I haven’t settled down with you is because I don’t want to feel dependent on another person. I don’t want to be taken care of; I want to take care of myself. But I realize now if I say no to us and lose you, I’ll regret it, and I’ll regret turning this down in the name of being alone. Because that’s what I’ll be: alone. So yes, my answer is yes.”
“Yes, you want to be with me?” His voice was happy and incredulous like a kid who has woken up on Christmas morning to find that he’s received everything he’d ever asked for.
“Yes,” she confirmed. “I want to be with you.”
With wide, starry eyes he pulled her face in close to his and planted a loving, passionate kiss on her freezing-cold lips.
“You make me so happy,” he whispered into her hair.
“You make me happy too.” She laughed, realizing that it was almost true. He had never swept her off her feet, but in a very calm, unexciting way, he had made her happy.
“Darcy,” he said, pulling his face away from hers, “I have a question.”
“Yes?” She searched her brain but couldn’t think, for the life of her, what sort of question he’d want to ask her at a time like this. He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small, blue velvet box.
“Oh my God,” she breathed, a tightness wrapping around her throat.
He got down on one knee right there on the cold ice. She was too frozen in shock to try to stop him. She didn’t know if she even wanted to stop him. Maybe this is exactly right, she thought. Maybe this is exactly how it’s supposed to be.
“Will you marry me?” He opened the box to reveal a brilliantly shining diamond in the shape of a teardrop fastened onto a polished silver band. It took her breath away. She recognized it: it had belonged to his grandmother, and was just as beautiful as nine years ago, when she’d first seen it. Once upon a time, this ring had been a temptation to fulfill her father’s wishes by marrying Carl and therefore marrying into the Donovan family. She had chosen not to give in to the tempting diamond, but the stunning visual of it had never left her mind. It was the kind of diamond you could only say no to once.
“Yes,” she said. “I’ll marry you.”
“Oh my God.” He shot back up. “You will?”
“Yes,” she laughed. “I want to marry you.”
“I can’t believe it.” His cheeks were turning red, so that she realized just how pale he’d been only a moment ago. “Okay, well then…” He got back down on one knee and slipped the ring onto her finger. She brought her hand up to her face to examine it. It really was lovely, especially with a large expanse of ice as its backdrop. He stood up again so that they were face-to-face.
“It’s perfect,” she beamed, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.
“Whoa, what’s going on here?” Bingley asked as he and Jim skated by.
“We’re engaged!” Darcy announced, holding up her hand for them to see. Bingley stopped so abruptly that a spray of ice flew up around him.
“Excuse me?” He stared. “Did you just say what I think you just said?”
“I did.”
He snatched her hand to get a closer look at the diamond.
“It’s so big I could die,” he breathed in awe.
“Congratulations, you two,” Jim said, pulling each one in for a hug. “This is … pretty … unexpected, right?”
&n
bsp; “Oh, extremely unexpected,” said Carl.
“Wildly unexpected,” said Darcy.
“I didn’t think she’d say yes in a million years.”
“And I didn’t think he’d propose in a million years!” She laughed. “Well, actually, I knew he would one day, but I didn’t think I was even going to see him today, let alone get engaged to him. I mean, just fifteen minutes ago I didn’t even know I was going to see him today. I almost didn’t even come ice-skating. What if I hadn’t? What if I was still alone in my room, trying to figure out what to do today?” She laughed, somewhat manically. She realized she was on an adrenaline high, so pumped up by the rush of unexpected events that she hadn’t had time to process what was going on or to ground herself in reality.
“Your dad is gonna be ha-a-appy,” Bingley teased.
“I know,” said Darcy. “This is literally all he’s wanted for me.”
“My parents are going to be thrilled too,” said Carl. “They’ve always been a big fan of Darcy’s.”
“I know one person who won’t be happy,” said Jim.
“Who?” asked Darcy.
“My brother.”
“Luke?” Darcy couldn’t believe he’d said it.
“No,” said Jim sarcastically. “Kit and Lyle. Yes, Luke.”
“Why would Luke care?” Carl asked defensively.
“He wouldn’t care,” Darcy interjected. “He’s engaged to Charlotte Collins. And besides, we don’t even like each other.”
“I’m sorry,” said Jim, realizing he had upset them. “I was joking. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s literally nothing. A dumb joke.”
“Luke has just always kind of had a crush on Darcy,” explained Bingley. “Like, a harmless, schoolboy crush.”
“He has not,” Darcy protested. “He seemed to hate me right up until—”
“Until you made out with him at your parents’ Christmas party,” Carl realized, pained by the memory that was seared into his mind.
“Right.” Darcy blushed, wanting to recoil into her soft turtleneck. “But that was just a drunken thing. It was completely meaningless. Plus, I just saw him with Charlotte. They’re super-happy together.”