“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?” Killian’s sharp question drew me up short just outside the kitchen. Uh-oh. He was totally pissed. I slid against the wall. What happened?
“Oh, back off! How was I supposed to know that would happen? It’s not like I’ve done it before!” Sean was edgy, and I heard him shove one of the wooden chairs backwards.
I hovered in the hallway for a few seconds struggling with the urge to turn around, and the urge to eat. My stomach growled loudly so I gave in to the primal urge for food. I peeked into the room. I spotted Killian first and nearly smiled. He sat with a glass of orange juice and alternated between glaring at it and shaking his head at Sean. Sean, on the other hand, was completely shut down. He didn’t touch his food and stared without seeing. I didn’t know what to make of either of them.
Dec, as usual, grinned crookedly when I finally bounced into the room—bounced being the operative word. I felt better than I had in years. My blood was still singing from whatever we did, and I couldn’t help noticing how I glowed. I looked so damn healthy! My skin was clear and soft and hydrated. My hair was glossy and heavy. Even my nails were pretty. I looked like I had spent the day at a spa and downed a bunch of vitamins. The oddest thing was the intense clarity inside my mind.
Suddenly I could see everything more clearly. Fuzzy impressions were sharp. I could finally define my own feelings, and I had no doubts. I just knew . . . what I knew, exactly, wasn’t clear though. It was like knowing all the answers but not having the questions yet. I was buoyant, relishing this new feeling. Very cool . . . I bounced into a seat, practically vibrating with energy. Maybe I should go run ten miles or so? Yes! Good plan. As soon as I eat, I’m going for a run. And then a hike? A hike sounded good too.
“So, uh, darlin’—how’re you feeling just now?” Dec’s accent was more pronounced than ever. He was watching me like I might explode.
I threw him a huge grin and drummed my fingers on the table. “I feel fabulous! I’ve never felt so alive.” I leaned halfway over the table to see him better. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous your eyes are?” Barely able to sit still, I swept my eyes across the three of them. “Wow—your eyes—so many colors!” I’d never seen such beauty. How had I missed this before?
“Sonofafuckingbitch!” Killian stood up so fast his chair fell over. With two strides, he hauled me out of my seat and lifted me up so we were eye to eye. We were so close I felt his heart beat against my chest.
Instead of being angry, he seemed hesitant. “Something has changed in you. I feel it.” We were nose to nose, and he looked deeply into my eyes as if he was trying to read my mind or maybe my soul. Finally satisfied, he said, “This is very important, Mica. You could be dangerous to all of us so take this seriously. Tell me what you feel.” The order was soft, but his velvety voice sent a tingle of fear down my spine.
“I don’t know how to describe it exactly. It’s like suddenly everything is clear to me. I know things, but I can’t define them yet. Like the questions are just out of reach. The answers are here.” I tapped my temple and met his eyes again.
I wanted to say more, but his eyes robbed me of words. I could see every tiny detail of the iris. Usually a person’s eyes just look blue, or green, or brown. His were filled with every shade of blue imaginable, and I could clearly see each color now. Each color was distinctly shaped, like a piece of a puzzle. They were breathtaking.
“So beautiful . . .” I touched my fingertip to the soft skin beneath his eye.
Killian grunted, “Never mind that. Look into my eyes and tell me what you see.”
At first I saw only the mesmerizing colors, but the more I studied them, the more I understood him. As I peered more deeply, the puzzle pieces parted to reveal more. Not individual thoughts exactly, but the core of who he is. What was I seeing? Was this intuition, or was I actually seeing into his soul, the essential part of Killian?
He made an encouraging sound and stroked his thumb along my bicep, the hypnotic gesture lulling me to a daze. When he spoke again, his voice was soft and velvety, the command impossible to resist. “Open your mind.”
Nodding slowly, I let conscious thought drift away until I was bombarded with impressions that made my head swim. Words and images flooded my mind, spinning around like a pinwheel—righteous, powerful, loyal, warrior. The images played like a movie set in fast forward; one scene after another unfolded so quickly I barely saw the details:
A faded red door opened to reveal Killian beating the hell out of a big man with a gun until the man fell and stayed down. Beside them, a wounded man lay in the street. This man was a good guy, a victim. Killian carefully lifted him to safety, and the scene changed to a dark alley
Heavy rain blurred my vision, but I saw his furious expression and a silver knife dripping with blood as he yanked it from a monster with claws. The corpse turned to ash that melted into the asphalt with the rain.
My heart clenched as another image showed Sean hit with a ball of fire and falling backwards into nothingness. Killian’s eyes burned as he slung Sean over his shoulder and vanished.
The scene faded into a room full of men gathered around a table covered with plans. There was respect in their eyes. He was the leader. It was clear that he had a mission, and it was more important than I had known before.
The final image was more impression than actual scene—I saw him as he sees himself, his identity I suppose—Primani.
“Primani . . .” I murmured.
As that last impression ricocheted around my head, several things happened at once. White as a sheet, Killian wrenched his eyes away and staggered backward. With my legs like jelly and my thoughts careening around my head like a pinball machine, I collapsed in a heap on the floor, babbling incoherently.
“Mica!” Sean dragged me hard against his chest, clutching me close, murmuring in my ear, “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
The kitchen undulated until it turned onto its side. I barely made it to the sink before I threw up. Gripping the counter, I tried desperately to get my head and stomach back under control. My legs still didn’t want to hold me up, and I sank to my knees with a pathetic groan.
“Someone please stop this ride. I want to get off.”
“Shh. It’s okay.” Dec captured my face between his hands and rested his lips against my forehead. “Breathe now—in and out . . . in and out—carefully, sweetheart.” The faintest scent of the forest tickled my nose as his gentle voice surrounded me. I took a careful breath and followed his voice like an angel.
“That’s it. In and out . . . in and out. Listen to me. Follow my voice.”
Gradually, the pinball feeling lessoned until it went away entirely. My head felt normal again. I sagged weakly and he hugged me close.
“It gets easier. You’ll see.” Dec was ever the optimist.
The room was completely silent for a few minutes. Having been lost in my own thoughts, I realized all three of them were staring at me.
“Stop staring at me. It’s creepy.”
I looked at Sean and raised an eyebrow. “I need some fresh air, and I think it’s time for some answers.”
I might have been up for answers, but I wasn’t really ready to walk. I staggered into the wall, so Sean scooped me up and carried me, saying, “Relax. I’m fine. It’ll take us forever if you try to walk. You’re still wobbling on your feet.”
Rolling my eyes, I grimaced at the truth of that. “This is all your fault.”
Grinning down at me, he shrugged. “Of course it is. It’s always the guy’s fault. I get that.”
We headed into the woods behind their house. The trees had turned in the miracle of fall; the red and yellow maples were impressive. It was quiet and peaceful as we wandered the narrow paths. The tinkling sound of water got louder as we rounded a stray boulder. He sat me down so we could pick our way down the little incline to the rocks of the streambed. There were several large flat boulders lying around so we hopped over to one and sat down.
It was comfortable and private. I assumed Sean was gathering his thoughts, so I reined in the urge to bombard him with questions. This was his secret to tell, and I wasn’t going to rush him. My new sense of clarity made me realize that I was a part of this too, so I would get all the answers I needed, when I needed them. I’d like them all now, thank you very much.
Sean enfolded my hand between his and squeezed. ”Do you know this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done? I don’t know where to start. Why don’t you tell me what you’d like to know? Maybe that will be easier?”
“Okay, what’s the force field for?”
He flashed a quick smile. “It’s not a force field; it’s just energy. We call it our saol. It means life. For us, it’s our life force. But in simple terms, it’s only energy. There is energy everywhere, right? We’ve learned how to focus it when we need to. We rely on it to recharge when we’re exhausted or injured. It helps us to heal faster.”
“There’s more to it than that. I know it. You’re not just pulling energy to you—your bodies create it—or maybe, it’s already inside of you. I’m not stupid, Sean. If you’re going to tell me the truth, tell me the truth. If you can’t tell me something, don’t make up a story. That’s not cool. I can handle secrets because you have a right to those; I can’t handle lies.”
He feathered his fingers through his hair, groping for words. “Do you remember my telling you that we’re like operatives, and you asked if that meant spies?” I nodded. He continued, “Well, that’s more or less what we do. We don’t spy though; we watch. We have two jobs to do. First, we’re here to make sure certain things happen that have an impact on future events, and we help people stay on their paths so they can fulfill their destinies.”
“Like guardian angels?”
Shaking his head, he replied, “Not exactly, no. We’re not angels, per se. It’s really complicated, and I can’t share a lot of it with you. But I can say that we don’t interfere unless it’s vitally important to the greater good.”
“Stand up and turn around.”
“What? Why?”
“Just do it. I need to see something.”
“Okaaay.” Rising gracefully to his full height, he turned his back to me and shot a quizzical glance over his shoulder.
Before I lost my nerve, I yanked up his shirt. He sucked in his breath as the cold air struck him. I was afraid to look, but when I opened my eyes all I saw was smooth skin the color of fresh honey. I kissed him softly between his shoulder blades.
“Well, did I pass?” he asked with a playful grin.
“No wings?”
“No wings. Are you disappointed?”
“Not really, I think they would get in the way. Now, tell me about your second job?”
“That’s a good question, and I hope you’ll still be here after you hear the answer to it.” He paused to take a deep breath. “Mica, you need to understand we’re a lot less like angels and a lot more like soldiers. We don’t have wings and harps and other useless human inventions. We’re part of an elite force of highly trained, lethal soldiers. We’re assigned to a special operations division with a very unique mission. You’ve only met Killian and Dec. There are others who are a lot less, uh, friendly. We’re serious about what we do and secrecy is absolutely critical. We don’t have a lot of time for typical human activities. Our main job is to hunt down and destroy certain, uh, bad people . . . more killing, less fluff.”
I considered that, and asked hesitantly, “What do you call yourselves?”
He looked relieved by the simple question. “Primani. We’re called Primani—Soldiers of the First Legion.” He touched my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Keep this between us, would you? Killian will have fucking kittens if he finds out I told you this much. Psychic abilities are one thing. That’s something I can talk about with you. Our Primani world isn’t up for discussion. You can’t say a word.”
“I won’t. I swear.” I considered his serious, beautiful face. He was a contradiction. When he was with me like this, he was sweet and gentle. When he was in soldier-mode, he was fierce and hard and deadly. I was more than a little afraid of the soldier in him and shivered.
“Don’t! Please don’t ever be afraid of me. I would never hurt you—you have to know that by now.” He reached out, cupping my face in the palms of his hands, eyes searching mine until he found the answer. The golden light in his eyes flashed brilliantly as the truth hit him and he lowered his mouth to mine.
He kissed me with yearning and tenderness; his lips soft against mine, drinking me in, showing me the love in his heart. Melting into his arms, I parted my lips and swept my tongue against his, inviting—no demanding—a response. Come on, Sean, lose control. The animal growl low in his throat was exactly what I wanted. He banded a strong arm around my waist, lifting me against his erection, grinding us together until spots swam in my vision. Breathless and hungry, I clung to his shoulders to keep from falling. With a ragged breath, he finally dragged his mouth away and lowered it to my collarbone, spreading hot kisses along my goose pimpled skin. My head fell back as my blood began to simmer. “Sean, please. Don’t stop this time.”
“God, woman, you’re killing me.” Groaning low in his throat, he cupped my breast, kneading it softly. With the other hand, he pulled the zipper of my sweatshirt down. I was bare underneath it. He pulled his eyes back to mine. I searched his eyes, but his mind was closed to me.
“What are you thinking?” I whispered.
“You’re so beautiful it takes my breath away.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you,” he said wistfully. Then he zipped up my sweatshirt and pulled me to my feet.
Chapter 12: Mind Games