OUR ARRIVAL AT THE FARMHOUSE was anticlimactic. I expected Killian to be upset about my decision, but he wasn’t. Instead, he helped carry my bags into the bedroom. As I hung up my clothes, he lounged in a chair, talking with Sean. He ignored me completely as they strategized upcoming missions. I’d never seen him actually relax before. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. This was a side of him that I didn’t believe existed. If he wasn’t careful, he might break into a genuine smile and give me a heart attack.
He tilted his head and produced a sudden, arresting smile. It transformed his face completely. Breathtaking. Wow! To my horror, my mouth dropped open and I might have gasped aloud. He threw back his head, bursting into genuine laughter. I put my hand over my heart and pretended to die. He laughed even harder and Sean joined in. Overcome with giggles, I flopped onto the bed and laughed until my sides hurt. It felt so amazing to laugh again. I guess all of us needed the release because we lay there still chuckling minutes later when Dec popped in.
Winter finally gave up its grip and spring returned with heat and humidity. The basement sparring room was so warm I had sweat running into my eyes. Grabbing the tail of my shirt, I blotted my face for the fourth time in an hour.
“You don’t have time for that! Do you think the bad guy’s going to let you wipe your eyes? NO!” Sean’s voice rang off the rafters. “Gut it out!”
“Fine!”
I staggered over for another round of Krav Maga. Today we were drilling on how to avoid a knife. I didn’t have time to react when he lunged and pinned me to the ground. The plastic knife slit my throat before I put up my hands.
Red faced, he straddled me and slammed the knife to the mat. “You’re dead!”
He hauled me to my feet, demanding harshly, “Again! This time, you need to react—at least do something!”
I ground my teeth together. Oh, so he wants a reaction?
Jaw set in concentration, he came at me with the knife lowered, and I dodged to the side just as the blade would have stabbed me. He swung again, and I pushed his arm to one side and kneed him in the balls as hard as I could. He dropped like a rock. Bull’s eye!
“How’s that for a reaction?” After kicking the knife away, I pressed my heel into his wrist for good measure. Just enough pressure to know I was there . . . I stood there happily gloating for a minute until I realized he wasn’t making any noise at all.
“Sean?”
“Come on, stop milking it! You’re not that hurt!”
Silence. I couldn’t see his face because it was turned away from me. Was he breathing? Uncertain, I knelt down to check on him. As soon as I bent over, he grabbed me by both arms and flung me over his body, and then rolled on top of me, pinning me to the mat. He shoved another plastic knife to my throat. His cheek slid against mine as he pressed the knife a wee bit harder to make his point. Sweat dripped into my eyes and burned like fire. His breathing was harsh while mine was non-existent. He’d knocked the wind out of me. My mouth opened and closed like a beached fish.
Must. Have. Oxygen.
“Can’t. Breathe!” I mouthed.
“What the hell, dude? Get off her, you tool. Are you trying to really kill her?” Dec interrupted my death scene.
“Well, fuck.” Sean rolled off in one fluid motion and turned away in a huff.
Squatting by my head, my handsome rescuer offered to give me mouth-to-mouth and made kissing noises in my ear until I choked on a laugh and sucked in some oxygen. Pissed off and wheezing, I leaned up on my elbows, glaring twin holes into Sean’s back.
“So you want to play rough, do you?” I growled under my breath before launching myself against his legs. He toppled like a tree, and I was on him like a vine. Before he could throw me off, I skewered him like a shish kebab. “Oh, you are so dead!” To add insult to injury, I aimed a fake kick at his head before dancing my way over to Dec who gave me a high five and a down low.
“I heard you took down your trainer today, Princess,” Killian commented over dinner that night.
“He had it coming.”
“No doubt.”
“She was a rock star!” Dec added loyally.
My cheeks warmed with pleasure. “Aw, thanks, Dec.”
Sean grumbled and shoved his chair backwards with one sharp motion. He was in a crappy mood. He was still dreaming, and the dreams were getting more intense. Strangely, he still wouldn’t admit to the nightmares. Lack of sleep was taking a toll on him, though. His eyes were ringed with purple shadows; his cheekbones white with strain. He was exhausted by the end of the day but still pushed himself to teach me. His misery colored our training, so I wasn’t able to focus on anything but the pain I sensed in his heart. Today had been an exception only because I let my ego get the better of me when he kept kicking my ass. I wanted to help but he had shut me out. Time seemed to be holding its breath, but my gut told me that was about to change.
He was sitting on the kitchen counter with eyes closed and neck arched in a tired stretch. A soft groan sounded deep in his chest. He was dead on his feet.
“Come to bed with me?” I tugged at his hand, pulling him along the hallway and into our room.
The silence was deafening as we brushed our teeth and stripped off our clothes. Standing beside him in the tiny bathroom, I ached to touch him but he was distant again, and I hesitated. He hadn’t said a word since our sparring match. What was going on here? Was he really mad at me? It wasn’t like him to be this quiet. I’d rather hear a snarky comment—or even an angry insult—than this heavy silence.
We lay on the bed, each lost in our thoughts, the dark room anything but restful. I watched shadows play across the ceiling and shuddered as a familiar sense of foreboding skittered through my mind. Tick tock. Time was running out.
Unable to resist the instinct to comfort, I curled against his back, pressing my cheek to the hard planes of muscle and kissing the smooth skin between his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry about today. Forgive me?”
Turning to face me, his mouth twisted in a mocking smile as he absently stroked his thumb across my cheekbones. My pulse had been puttering along, but his sensual touch kicked it into higher gear. My breath hitched as he brushed his lips over the path his fingers had made. “Forgive you? Why? You did exactly what you should do. I think the real question is, do you forgive me? I got carried away. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. You’re just trying to make me stronger. I get it. You worry about me, but you shouldn’t. I’ll be okay.” My lips curled into a sexy grin, and I trailed my fingertips over his shoulder to linger on one of his flat brown nipples. Flicking it softly with a nail until it hardened to a little nub, I teased, “Why don’t you channel your energy into making me scream again? It’s been a whole two days and I’m feeling neglected.”
Stretching languidly, I arched my back so my pelvis rocked against his in what I meant to be a seductive invitation to fuck me silly. His cock sprang to life like a Jack-in-the-Box. His reaction was so immediate that I ruined my sultry-eyed sex kitten expression by snorting with humor.
Sean’s troubled eyes darkened with passion, but his lips twitched into a panty-drenching smile that promised wicked pleasures in my immediate future. “You’re insatiable, wench. I think I’ve created a monster.”
Yep. You sure did. Had I known sex was this amazing, I would’ve attacked him the first second I laid eyes on him. Good God. The man was mind blowing. Probably I should keep this to myself so his head doesn’t explode. But dayam!
A few minutes later, he rested his chin on the slick muscle of my inner thigh, the results of my orgasm shimmering on his lips, and asked, “Are you purring?”
The dream was gone, but I held fragments of it behind my eyelids. Like a kaleidoscope, the green and black shifted and changed in tiny cells. They formed a beautiful black and green symmetrical pattern that was only ruined by a singular discordant flash of blinding white. I hovered in that magical state between sleep and wakefulness, and forced
my sight to reach beyond the tiny cells. What if I could pull away the borders to open the image up as it was meant to be seen, outside of a dream?
Breathing deeply, I dismantled the edges piece by piece. As each cell was released, the nonsensical colors took shape as a green forest in the dark of night. The sky sparkled with millions of stars. I marveled at the brilliance of the tiny balls of gas when a flash nearer to me caught my attention. Just outside my vision, a vivid white light expanded and contracted with greater intensity. The light exploded, and my vision went dark.
“Easy now, come back to me. Open your eyes.”
My eyes fluttered, but I anchored to the rich sound of his voice, practicing my breathing as I had every day for weeks. My hand was shaking, and Killian steadied it against the top of his thigh.
“Good girl. Now breathe slowly until you feel balanced again.”
“Well?” I asked.
He peered into my face, studying my eyes for damages, and sat back on his heels. “It’s much better this time. You still have color, and you controlled your breathing. Both good signs, I think. Your eyes look freaked out though—maybe you could blink now—you’re scaring the wildlife.” He gestured toward a squirrel that was peeking nervously from behind a branch above us.
In the back of the property, I’d found a secluded space surrounded by maple trees with a wide patch of fresh, soft grass in the center. Too small to be a real meadow, it was perfect for my lessons. Every other day, I came here and worked on refining my sight. Some days I came alone and meditated. During meditation, I opened my mind to any premonitions or dreams that would come. No premonitions had shown up so far. Dreams came often, but sometimes nothing came at all. The cream-colored room in my mind sat empty and calm. Killian came with me every few days. In his way, he was a natural teacher. He was extremely patient and relaxed while we worked through the exercises he designed.
“What do you remember about the dream?” he asked.
Unimpressed with the latest dream’s disturbing lack of details, I shrugged. “Green forest, starry sky, explosion.”
He was thoughtful for a moment, and admitted with a hint of apology in his tone, “I caught the explosion in your eyes. Did you see what it was?”
“You did what? How did you see that?”
It was his turn to shrug. “I always watch your eyes when you slip into a trance. If your eyes are partially open, I can see your visions too. I only saw a bright flash this time.”
“That is so cool.”
Intrigued with this new information, we lost track of time, brainstorming possible causes and reasons for this connection between us. It was fascinating how I was connected differently to each of them. Dec could hear my voice from anywhere, Killian could hear my thoughts and see my visions, and I was becoming more convinced that Sean was connected to the core of who I am . . . He shared my soul.
What did it all mean?
Later that night, I hummed a little Kings of Leon while digging through the closet for my favorite sandals. Dani had called earlier and wanted to meet at The Angry Lizard. We hadn’t had a chance to hang out in ages and I was overdue some socializing. All work and no play make this girl a cranky bi-otch.
Short and gauzy with layers of white cotton, my skirt floated around my thighs when I twirled in front of the mirror. Nice and flirty. Perfect. Sean was going to love this. It was hot tonight, so I pulled a fitted amethyst tank top over my head, and straightened the hem. The only jewelry was my locket. I never took it off.
Sean poked his head in the door. “You ready to go yet? We’re waiting for you.”
“Perfect timing. Come in for a sec.” I curtseyed and batted my eyelashes. “Well?”
His eyes gleamed with pride as they roamed over my flushed face and bare legs. “Beautiful! Too beautiful to go out. Let’s stay here . . .” He tugged me up for a long lingering kiss that made me dizzy and overheated.
On the way to the car, Killian took one look at me and pressed his lips together. With an amused wag of his head, he commandeered the driver’s seat. It was odd riding in a car with all three of them. We hadn’t gone out together before. Socializing wasn’t really Killian’s thing.
As he parked at the curb, a small group of thugs-in-training watched us with unfriendly interest. Didn’t they realize they would never win a fight with their pants around their knees and their shoes untied? They whistled rudely as I exited the back seat. They nearly swallowed their tongues when Sean and Dec unfolded themselves to their full heights. When Killian locked his emotionless eyes on them, they suddenly found something else to gawk at. He took half a step towards them and they scattered like pigeons.
Sean draped an arm around my shoulders and sent his brother a tight-lipped smile that weakened to a half-grin. “Show off.”
Dani spotted us as soon as we walked through the doors. Waving madly, she beamed with joy. Beside her, Aric was lounging against her table with a beer in his hand. Ah, that explains the glow. I made a beeline for Dani while the guys checked for trouble. They were never off-duty when we left the security of the farmhouse. With Dagin’s truce dissolved, it was open warfare. We never knew when we’d run into one of Dagin’s crew.
“I’ve missed you!” Dani gushed when I finally stopped hugging her. She was adorable. It wasn’t a surprise to find Aric sticking around.
“It’s so good to see you! I love those stones. Your mom’s?”
Flipping the crystal choker away from her throat to catch the light, she nodded with a proud twinkle in her eyes, and said, “They’re new. Aric bought them for our anniversary.”
While Dani and I got caught up, Sean, Dec, and Aric exchanged the usual guy greetings of head nods and how’s-it-goings before settling back to coolly check out the rest of the crowd. Everyone was happy until Killian appeared and straddled a stool at our table.
He swept his eyes over Dani and Aric, and asked curtly, “How’s it going?”
Clearly he was staying.
Poor Aric actually choked on his beer. I bit the inside of my cheek as Dani helpfully thumped him between the shoulders. Yes. It was a rare event here in Plattsburgh. The first wild Killian sighting in probably a year . . . Dani shot me a questioning glance filled with smothered laughter. Before I could say anything, Ricki, Kevin, and Tyler strolled in. They took one look at us and froze with identical stony expressions. Geez, what is everyone’s problem tonight?
“Seriously? Now what?” My little bubble of joy was fast dissolving into crap. Was it too much to ask to have a drama-free night out?
Across the table, Sean arched a brow, and mouthed, “Pool?”
“Good idea. Hey, Killian, come play a game with me?” I marched towards the far pool table.
Nonplussed, he played along. “Is this necessary?” He smiled in his best harmless way as he racked up the balls.
“You look like the big bad wolf when you smile like that!” I broke into giggles at my own joke.
His mouth curved into an irresistible smile that broke through his usually stoic mask. He actually looked human. Maybe I was crazy, but I loved this complicated creature that scared the hell out of mere mortals. I understood their fear, but he was on their side. He risked his life constantly for them. They just didn’t know it. It wasn’t fair.
Dangerous thoughts, Princess. Moving lazily, he chalked the tip of the stick and waved me to go first.
“Mica, are you going to tell me what’s going on or what?” Ricki wasn’t one to sugarcoat anything.
I got that she was pissed at me, but sneaking up behind me in the middle of a shot? That was just cruel.
I scratched. Damn it. I sucked at pool. “What are you asking about, Ricki? I really don’t understand what the problem is.”
Killian took his shot, and of course, the ball went into the pocket. He was killing me. The night wasn’t a total loss. I did manage to get him to laugh and smile and look human so my friends felt safe staying in the same building with him. Ricki was too intent on grill
ing me to let him intimidate her right now. Besides, she once threatened to screw him in a cave . . .
Leaning closer and lowering her voice, she rephrased her concerns with more than a little defensiveness to her tone. “Are you happy with him?” She glanced at Sean under her lashes.
Shocked, I said, “What kind of a question is that? I’m deliriously happy with him! Why would you ask that?” My voice rose, and Sean and Dec both glanced over.
Not done yet, she continued, “You flinch every time he tries to touch you, and you have bruises on both of your arms . . .” Her voice trailed off before breaking. “He’s . . . they . . . they’re all so . . .”
Straightening stiffly, I filled in the blanks. “Protective? How about strong or kind? Maybe those are the words you’re looking for!”
Killian’s lips twitched as he lined up another shot. Sean came up behind me and draped an arm around my shoulders. Grateful for the support, I sank against him.
With a puzzled half-smile, he kissed me lightly and asked, “What’s going on? Everything okay?”
Ricki’s cheeks flushed with anger, her eyes narrowed and burned. She was about to explode. Killian twitched again. This time, his shoulders shook and he turned away. What was wrong with him? Then I heard him chuckling inside my head. He was trying to send his thoughts but couldn’t stop laughing to focus them. Was he counting? Behaving as naturally as I could, I was trying to tell Killian to shut up when I realized what he was laughing about.
My shoulders were tingling and the feeling was spreading down my back, creeping up my neck. Ugh! Not now! Shit. Killian finally erupted with laughter, causing everyone to stare at him long enough for me to run to the bathroom.
Dec was waiting for me when I reappeared. His whole face lit up as a cheesy grin nearly cleaved his face in half. He was enjoying this entirely too much. Winking conspiratorially, he chided, “Girl, you’ve got to get a grip on that! You can’t bust out into light every time he touches you. It’s not natural!”
I guess the ice had broken while I was getting a grip on my power surge, because everyone seemed to be chilling. Sean was in the middle of a game of pool with Tyler, Aric, and Dani. Killian leaned against the bar nursing a beer, casually watching the Stanley Cup finals on the big screen TV. I sighed. Not all of my friends were happy. Ricki was crying on Kevin’s shoulder.
“Damn it, Dec. I don’t know how to fix this.”
Dec gave me a gentle nudge. “Ricki loves you, remember? Go talk to her.”
“I’ve tried talking. She’s not listening. What am I supposed to say?”
“Tell her as much of the truth as you can. That’s all you can do. The rest is up to her.”
Okay, good point. I can do this. I’ll just have to be creative.
I hurried to the table before I chickened out and bolted. After inhaling a fortifying breath, I blurted, “I have bruises because I’m learning Krav Maga. I can’t learn without a partner and bruises happen. Sean isn’t abusing or controlling me in any way. I flinched when he reached for me that day because I was mugged in Quebec and was still a little jumpy.” Not too many lies. I took another deep breath and plunged ahead. “If he’s protective, it’s because he’s seen me bleed. You don’t know this, but he . . . they . . . all three of them, have pulled me out of Scott’s hands more than once. Probably they saved my life and I’m grateful.”
She shrugged in confusion. “When? I didn’t know.”
“No, you didn’t know. I didn’t tell you, and they respect me too much to talk about it. All you need to know is they all care about me and would never hurt me. Look at them! Do they seem dangerous to you?” I gestured at the pool game to make my point.
Right on cue, Sean chose that second to tip his head back to laugh at Dani’s bad shot. His expression was open and admiring as he teased her about her aim. Tyler passed him a fresh beer. Sean seemed perfectly harmless. Of course, no one could see the weapons under his clothes. Not to be outshined, Dec threw out his best dimply smile and made a peace sign with both hands. No, they didn’t look dangerous just then.
Sniffing hard, she blinked the last few tears away, and said with a strangled laugh, “I feel like a total bitch.”
“Nah, not so much. But you can relax. I’m fine.” I hugged her close, grimacing as she accidently squeezed one of my many bruises. I have got to learn how to heal myself . . .
Days later I got my chance. Sean and I just finished another brutal session, and I was sweating like a pig and sucking in oxygen. The air in the basement was stuffy, and I gulped at it like it was water. Unfazed by the workout, he tapped his fingers on his thigh and reviewed my progress. I’d learned to disarm a gunman, dodge a knife attack, and break someone’s neck, so I expected some praise.
“You have to do more, babe. You’re not giving me everything you’ve got. In real life, you’d be dead ten times over.”
My face fell. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
Frustrated, I threw a right hook at the punching bag. “Do you think I’m not taking this seriously? I’m working as hard as I can!” I punched the bag again. “I’m not you!”
In two strides he crossed to block my next swing. Crushing my fist inside of his, he snapped, “No, you’re not me! That’s the problem—you’re still too vulnerable.” The harsh anger in his tone shifted to a velvety threat. “Do you have any idea how easy it is to kill a fragile human?”
Still holding my fist, he lightly touched my bare stomach with the knuckles of his other hand. “One small blade right here would do it. Or here—or here.” He trailed his fingers over my kidneys, my heart. That fragile muscle pounded through his palm as he ran through the many ways a human can die. I was nearly breathless by the time he finally wrapped his fingers around my neck and looked me dead in the eye. “Give me more!”
We were back on the mats again, and I had a new plan. Raphael’s words echoed in my head—Use your strengths to become stronger. Instead of lunging at him, I stood very still and reached out to his mind. Eyes slightly closed, I waited for his attack. It came almost immediately. He feigned a lunge to my right side, but then dove into my legs. I jumped to the right, and he hit the floor and rolled. Back in a crouch, he aimed a rib-cracking kick at my side. At the last second, I twisted so his foot barely grazed me. I flipped backwards and then tried to sweep his legs, but he blocked me and I fell hard to the mat. He used this to his advantage by yanking my legs out from under me and flinging me several feet to one side. I threw my hands out to stop my fall and landed hard on my elbow. The crack was excruciating. I collapsed on my face with a cry.
“Shit. I heard that. You okay?” he asked with more than a little concern in his voice.
I think not. I moaned and rolled onto my back, cradling my arm to my chest. I gave him a wan smile. “I think I broke my elbow . . . Ow.”
Being the excellent boyfriend that he is, he carried me upstairs to the living room. After getting some ice, he left me to find Dec. My favorite healer took one look at the swollen mess and declared, “Yep. It’s broken.” After sucking some air through his teeth, he squatted next to the couch. “Tell you what. Let’s look at this as a teachable moment.”
“A what?”
Grinning at my dismay, he logically explained, “You can’t practice healing yourself unless you’re really hurt. This is a perfect opportunity, so man up, darlin’.”
He was right. It hurt—a lot! I didn’t share his enthusiasm. I should be horrified at the whininess in my voice, but I wanted him to fix it and fix it now. “Come on, Dec. Please. It hurts!”
Sean and Dec exchanged silent words before Dec headed to the kitchen for ice. In no time flat I was lying on the floor with my poor elbow resting on a bag of ice because the pain kept me from focusing.
“This sucks. I hate you, Declan!”
He knelt down to my level, mouth quirking at the corners, eyes warm and loving. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Don’t be such a girly-girl.
I’ll walk you through it.” As he talked, he smoothed my hair away from my eyes and pressed his lips to my forehead in a very sweet kiss. “It’s for your own good. Ready?”
“No. But let’s do it anyway before I pass out from the pain.” He was right, but no way was I admitting it.
“This is really very easy. Close your eyes and imagine your energy inside of you. Picture the flow like a current that passes through your blood . . . your muscles. Do you see it?”
“Mmm hmm.”
He continued his instructions in a smooth, lilting tone that relaxed the bow-like tension in my neck. “Good. Now picture it surrounding your whole body . . . arms, legs, head, everything. Okay?”
I nodded. My body was tingling and warm all over. I cracked open my eyes. The faint glow of energy enveloped me like a cocoon.
Dec made a small sound of approval, and said, “You’re doing excellent. I can see what you’re doing. You’re controlling it, aren’t you? Now guide that energy to your elbow. Focus it on the break.”
I tried to picture the energy pouring into my arm and then surrounding my elbow. It wasn’t that easy though. The image wavered, and the energy flowed back around the outline of my body instead of into my elbow. It was like pouring water on top of oil . . . It kept trying to separate.
Dec encouraged, “Focus, Mica. You have the power. You have the will. Concentrate.”
Inhaling deeply, I re-attacked. This time, the energy wrapped around my elbow and stayed put. Okay, so now what?
“Okay, now imagine the break is knitting back together. Picture the healing in your mind as you keep the energy focused. You’ll see when you’re healed.”
I did as he said and gradually the bones straightened and knit back together. The process was intense though. My brain was exhausted with the effort, and I finally collapsed into sleep.
The clanking of dishes woke me up. I wandered into the kitchen to see what was being destroyed. Lounging against the doorway, I surveyed the warzone. Huh. Dec and Sean were cooking dinner, and it actually smelled good. This is new. Sean spotted me and waved.
“Hey, come and try this.” He held up a fork of grilled chicken.
“Wow, that’s good. I had no idea you could cook.”
Lifting an eyebrow, he hinted darkly, “I have many secrets.”
After dinner, Killian announced he had news for us. The delicious food formed a lump in my gut that threatened to come back up. They had new orders from Alex. The Manhattan team finally had some detailed intel on Dagin’s operations. Sean and Killian had managed to immobilize Xarchi at Dump, and had taken him to an interrogation chamber. While flatly refusing to give me any gory details, Killian explained that Xarchi had been particularly helpful before he was sent back to hell in a cloud of ash. It seemed Dagin was dabbling in the arms trade. His engineers were producing a new weapon that he was getting ready to put on the black market. No one had any doubt the new weapon would be catastrophic and create mass chaos. There was simply no other reason for demons to get involved with humans. The problem was, we still didn’t exactly know what we were dealing with. The techies were still reverse-engineering one of the weapons that Dec hijacked from the red warehouse.
I swiveled towards Dec. “You took one of the weapons? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I snatched it from the warehouse and brought it to our lab.”
Killian rapped his knuckles on the table to recapture our attention. “You didn’t have a need to know, Mica. Sorry. Our final orders are to blow up that lab and destroy any chemicals or equipment we find. That’s the plan. We’ll head out tomorrow. Check your gear. Be ready.”
I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he raised a hand to cut me off. “I hope you’ve learned what you need to. It’s time to get serious. Playtime is over.”
Chapter 27: Playtime is Over