PRISONER OF MY DESIRE
JOHANNA LINDSEY
Chapter 1
England, 1152
The lady was small and fragile, but with the tall knight standing before her,
her frailty was much more apparent. Her blond head reached no higher than his
broad shoulders. And when his open palm cracked across her cheek, her thin body
jerked to the side with the force of it. A blow like that would have easily sent
her to the floor if she were not supported. But she was supported, by two of the
knight?s men at arms. They stood well behind her, her arms twisted just so to
thrust her forward so they would not take a blow meant for her. This kept her
upright when she might have buckled, kept her there to receive another blow, and
still another.
Across the small chamber, Rowena Belleme watched. She also was being held fast
by two men at arms, the same two who had dragged her into this chamber to
witness her stepbrother?s brutality. Blood trickled down the center of her chin
from biting her lips to keep from screaming. Tears fell copiously over ashen
cheeks. But she had not been struck herself. Like as not it would come to that
if she did not give in to her stepbrother?s demands after this demonstration of
his seriousness, but while his patience held, he did not want to blacken her
with bruises that would elicit comment at her wedding.
Gilbert d?Ambray had no such qualms regarding his stepmother, however. Lady Anne
Bellemenay, she was Anne d?Ambray now and once again a widow, now that Gilbert?s
father was deadwas of little use to him except as as hostage to Rowena?s
behavior. And there was not much that Rowena would not do for her mother. But
what Gilbert wanted of her now?
Anne turned to look at her daughter. Her cheeks were blotched a fiery red with
the imprints of Gilbert?s heavy hand, yet she had shed not a tear, nor made a
single sound. Her expression, so eloquent, wrung more tears from Rowena. It said
plainly, This has been done to me so often, ?tis naught. Ignore it, daughter. Do
not give the cur what he wants.
Rowena did not want to. Lord God wine Lyons, the man Gilbert had found to marry
her, was old enough to be her grandfather, in truth, her great grandfather. And
her mother had only confirmed the rumors she had heard of this old lord when
Gilbert had demanded that Anne convince Rowena to comply with his wishes.
?I know Lyons, and he is not for an heiress of Rowena?s stature. Even if his age
were not an issue, the man has scandals of perversion attached to his name.
Never would I condone such a match.?
?He is the only man willing to fight to regain her properties,? Gilbert had
pointed out.
?Properties your father lost through his greed.?
?Nay, it is every man?s right?
?To encroach on his neighbor?? Anne cut in with a full measure of the contempt
she felt for her stepson, which was not even a quarter of what she had felt for
his brutish father.
?To raid and make war without recourse? To steal and force women into marriage
before their husbands are even buried! Such rights only came to men since that
weakling Stephen was made king.?
Gilbert had actually flushed, but more likely with anger than in embarrassment
for what his father had done to Anne. In truth, he was a product of the times.
He had been only a child of eight when Stephen had stolen the crown from Matilda
after old King Henry died. The kingdom had split apart then, half the barons
refusing to accept a woman as their ruler, the other half holding by their oaths
to Matilda, and now her son Henry of Aquitaine. Hugo d?Ambray was one of the
barons who had then sworn to Stephen, and so he had felt justified in killing
Rowena?s father, who was Henry?s vassal, and then forcing Walter Belleme?s widow
to marry him, thereby gaining control of all of Walter?s lands, which Rowena as
his only child inherited, as well as Anne?s dower lands. And neither Anne nor
Rowena had any recourse for this injustice, certainly not from a king who had
thrown the realm into anarchy.
Unlike his father, who had had a streak of malevolence to complement his
brutishness, Gilbert was like most men of his day, respectful when necessary,
churlish when not, and intent on filling his coffers with the fruits of other
men?s labors. But because he had lived seventeen years with anarchy, his
policies were no different from any other baron?s. Most of them might bemoan
having such a weak king that the land was rife with lawlessness, but then most
of them took advantage and contributed to that lawlessness.
Actually, in the three years that Gilbert had been Rowena?s stepbrother, he had
never said a harsh word to her, nor laid a hand to her in anger as his father
had occasionally done. As a knight, Gilbert was well skilled and courageous. As
a man, he was actually very handsome, with black hair and dark brown eyes that
gave unease for their watchfulness. Until today, Rowena had hated him only
because he was his father?s son. For their own benefit and their petty wars with
their neighbors, they had stripped her lands bare and taken everything of value
that she and her mother had ever owned. They had broken the betrothal contract
her father had made for her, keeping her unwed strictly for their own profit, so
they could continue to draw what they could from her serfs labors, and demand
war service from her vassals each year.?
But last year Hugo d?Ambray had thoughtlessly decided to take Dyrwood keep,
which sat between one of Rowena?s properties and one of his own. That was
tantamount to stirring up a hornef?s nest, for Dyrwood belonged to one of the
greater warlords of the north shires, the Lord of Fulkhurst, who not only came
to the aid of his vassal at Dyrwood, routing the besiegers and sending them back
to their own borders, but then systematically set out to destroy the man who had
dared try to steal from him.
Unfortunately, not only Hugo?s properties became this warmonger?s targets, but
also those that Hugo had control of through wardship. And he found out how
helpful a weak king was when Stephen refused to come to his aid, too busy with
his own problems. But even though Hugo had been killed two months ago in this
war that his greed had started, Fulkhurst was not satisfied. Gilbert was finding
out that this particular warlord thrived on vengeance.
Gilbert had sued for peace and been refused, which had enraged him and made him
determined to win back the d?Ambray lands at any cost. But the cost he had
decided on was to sacrifice Rowena to the marriage bed of an old lecher. He had
even told her it would not be for long, that he would soon have her back under
his guardianship, for the man was two steps from the grave. But as long as she
was wed to the old goat, Gilbert wanted to see a child come from the union. He
had made that perfectly clear, for only in that way would he have her and her
lands back, as well as Lyons? land a
nd wealth through her child. Thusly he would
obtain the resources to win back the d?Ambray properties that were now in
Fulkhurst?s hands.
Twas a fine plan as far as Gilbert was concerned. It truly cost him nothing, but
would gain him all that he soughtincluding, at long last, Rowena in his own bed.
This above all else was at the heart of his plan, for he was halfway obsessed
with the little flaxen haired beauty who was his stepsister.
He had wanted her from the first day he had seen her, when she was only fifteen.
But his father had refused to let him have her, pointing out that her value
would be considerably decreased without her maidenhead, even though he had had
no intention of marrying her off. But Hugo d?Ambray could not live forever, and
Gilbert was intelligent enough to see that the damned maidenhead was not for him,
and patient enough to wait until it was no longer an issue, bestowed on some
future husband.
This was why Gilbert had treated her well, not wanting her to be aware of the
streak of ruthlessness ingrained in him by his father. He wanted Rowena to want
him as well when he finally took her to his bed. He wanted her enough that he
would even have married her himself if there had been any profit in it. But
since the d?Ambrays already controlled her lands, there was not. As soon as she
conceived, he intended to have her, and to continue having her, even though he
had every intention of marrying her off again for further gain at some future
time. Getting rid of her husbands would be the easy part. Getting Rowena to
develop a passion for him would not be so easy.
Unaccountably, to his way of thinking, wedding her to Lyons without her consent,
which would be an easy thing to do, would set her against him. He did not see
forcing her consent by beating her mother as a worse offense. Far from it. He
was so used to seeing his father beat the Lady Anne, it was as if it were
nothing. He did not take into consideration that Rowena, kept at Kernel keep
these three years instead of with her mother at Ambray Castle, had not witnessed
the same and so had grown indifferent to it, as he was. He was so certain that
she would never hold ill usage of her mother against him that he was not very
sure that his rough treatment of the Lady Anne would even work to sway Rowena.
Twas merely the least of the things he could do to get her to agree to the
marriage, and so had been the first he had sought to try when reasoning and
pointing out the benefits had failed.
Gilbert?s first mistake was in assuming that Rowena felt for her mother what he
had felt for his, which was next to nothing. His second was in not expecting any
kind of reaction from Rowena this soon, so he had not even looked toward her
since he had begun striking her mother a few moments ago. But when he saw Anne
look toward her daughter with such steady courage, he also glanced behind him,
then stiffened in anger, seeing his mistakes clearly now. The girl did care for
her mother, too much. Her large sapphire eyes were awash with tears. She was
hurting herself to keep from begging him to stop, and that only because her
mother had stated plainly that she did not condone the marriage to Lyons.
Better he had drugged her, married her to Lyons, and got even the bedding over
with before she had regained consciousness, a fait accompli. Now those lovely
blue eyes gazed on him with such loathing, he knew she would never desire him as
he had hoped. So be it. He would still have her, and soon, but he was so enraged
that it would not be as he had imagined it, his fingers closed into a fist and
slammed into the side of Anne?s head. She crumbled instantly, without a sound.
Rowena made the sound, a choked whimper, before she whispered ?Nay. No more.?
He left the mother hanging between his men and moved to stand before the
daughter. He still seethed over what his assumptions had cost him in personal
gain. Twas there in his eyes, in his expression, and he lifted Rowena?s face in
his hand, forcing her to see it. But it was a measure of his feelings for her
that his hand was not rough, even in his present anger. Unwittingly, he even
gently wiped the tears away from one cheek.
His voice, however, was harsh in questioning ?Will you wed Lord God wine??
?I will.?
?Will you do so with good cheer??
Rowena stared at him blankly for a moment before she burst out ?You ask too much?
?Nay. What will a smile cost you when it will ensure his speedy compliance with
the marriage contract??
?Is his compliance in doubt??
?Nay, but there is no time to lose. Fulkhurst is now inactive, but only because
he has just defeated Tures.?
Rowena blanched at this information. She had known that two of her keeps near
Dyrwood had been taken, one without even a fight, but Tures Castle had been the
largest of her father?s properties, his stronghold, and was much farther north.
She had grown up in Tures. All that she knew of love and happiness she had
learned there, inside those stone walls. Now an enemy warlord held itnay,
enemies had held it these past three years, so what difference to her, one or
another? She certainly had not held it, nor did she ever expect to. Even if Lord
Godwine could win it back for her, it would be hers in name only.
Gilbert mistook her expression and thought to reassure her.
?Do not despair, Rowena. Lyons has become rich in bleeding his town merchants
these past twenty years that he has held Kirkburough. The mercenaries his wealth
will buy will quickly defeat Fulkhurst and send him back to his own domain. You
will have Tures back within the month.?
Rowena did not answer. She had already been told that the marriage contract had
been worded to her benefit; that her properties, once they were won back, would
be hers, not her husband?s, which meant nothing to her in this day and age when
law and justice were ignored, but would mean everything if only Henry would come
to rule. Lyons no doubt thought to have full use of her properties. Gilbert
obviously thought to have them back in his control, which to her mind meant that
if Lyons did not die soon enough of his old age and ailments, Gilbert would help
him along to that end. But Gilbert wanted her to bear Lyons a child first. As
she had done every day these past three years, Rowena shuddered and prayed for
Henry of Aquitaine to win the throne of England. Her father had been Henry?s
vassal, and Rowena would swear herself to him quicker than she could blink. Then
and only then might she escape Gilbert d?Ambray?s control.
Instead of remarking what was in her mind, she asked Gilbert ?Does that mean my
vassals will be brought to swear to me this time, or will they again be too busy
fighting in your wars??
Color stole into his cheeks. This was yet another way his father had ignored the
letter of the law, for when the Belleme properties had changed ownership at her
father?s death, his nine vassals should have come to pay Rowena homage for the
properties they now held through her, yet she had not seen one of those knights
in these three years she had been kept isolated at one of Hugo?s smaller keeps.
Each time she had eve
r mentioned it, she had been fobbed off with excuses that
her knights were besieged, or in the middle of a campaign, or some other such
thing. Like as not her men thought her dead. That would have been the easiest
way for Hugo to have gained their service without having to answer their concern
for her welfare.
Gilbert said now in a hard tone that discouraged further comment ?Five of your
vassals have died fighting Fulkhurst, and whether Sir Gerard lives or not is
undetermined, as he had been made castellan of Tures. Likely that monster
butchered him, as he has done to my own knights.?
He ended with a shrug that stated clearly he did not particularly care whether
Gerard had been spared or not.
What color had returned to Rowena?s cheeks left again. She did not question
further, but only because she dreaded to know which knights still lived and
which did not. Who should she blame for their deaths, Fulkhurst for striking the
killing blow, or Gilbert and his father for gaining Fulkhurst?s ire? God?s mercy,
when would this land be returned to peace?
Quietly, she asked Gilbert to have her released. At his nod to his men, she was
immediately let go and started toward her mother. Gilbert?s hand caught her arm
and steered her instead toward the door.
She pulled away from him, but his hold was firm.
?Let me go to her.?
?Nay, her women will attend her anon.?
?I have not seen her in three years, Gilbert,? she reminded him, but should have
known it would not make a difference.
?When you get yourself with Lyons child to secure his lands will be soon enough
for you to see her.?
More manipulations and coercions. She could not be silent any longer, but