unrequited
through the trees,
i see you,
you weaken my knees.
will you see this through,
or do you even care?
do you think,
think that i think that you see me stare,
or would you share,
be a part of me anywhere,
somewhere,
somewhere in my dream?
from this forest we go into somewhere, anywhere,
to a movie,
to a restaurant,
for a drive.
but you don't seem to have a drive,
what do you purpose?
you do seem to pose,
present to me the recurring thought,
that i shouldn't act like i've fought,
or any useful thing wrought,
and that i should let go and let God,
but if none of us do anything,
things would be flawed,
for God's Will is not that we do nothing.
but perhaps i've spoken too soon,
but i'll just go on and see what God has in store for me!
for my soul is free!
i can't complain,
even as i see you through the trees,
and i shake my head,
and kick the dirt and leaves.
and head on home.
it's getting late, as i roam.
you're not worth the effort, and i'm getting tired.
then why am i still wired?
maybe i should go back and say hi to you,
after all, this is a big forest,
and what else do you do,
when it starts to rain,
and lightning threatens to ensue,
than sit with your friend and watch it all come down?
but you're gone again...
When I Was Tall
I fall to my knees,
as i think about when i was tall,
or rather when i thought i was tall.
now i am down here,
where so many others are.
but i don't think about them;
all i can think about is myself,
and about how i have fallen,
but then i sit and ponder about
how many have been with me as i have fallen,
and have helped me to stand back up.
now, you can see that i'm not quite as tall
as i was before;
but don't even think i'm done standing up.
with the help i'm getting
from those surrounding me,
and especially the Lord,
there's no way i can possibly stay down.
then i remember how i could have fallen much further,
but i only fell to my knees,
no further.
and as i was on my knees,
i figured i might as well pray.
the Lord heard, and rescued me.
now i still have hope,
but i can't help but think sometimes,
about how much of my life i'm missing out on.
school, love, and work can all wait, it's true,
but the greatest of the three, love,
hits me the hardest.
sometimes i wonder if a girl i care for
could ever love me.
but then, i can't give up hope
that i'll get back to exactly the same state i was in
before i fell.
that i'll once again be as tall as i was,
and in fact taller, and this time it'll be real height,
not just a pretense.
i may actually be taller than i was,
for perhaps the Lord just needed to teach me how to truly stand.
and as i learn to use my legs for the first time,
i see many, many others learning to stand for the first time.
i notice a woman next to me,
strikingly beautiful in state.
"did you fall too?"
i ask.
"don't you know?"
she replies with an oddly distant, echoing voice.
"we must all fall. for this is the only way we learn to fly."
then i see many others around me who i had seen
struggling to get up just moments before
bring forth wings hidden under their clothes.
what became shown were the most beautiful wings
i had ever seen,
with feathers weaved in gold and silver.
"where are they going?"
i ask, quiveringly.
"they are merely continuing on their journey."
she replies in her knowing, understanding voice.
i begin feeling a painful sensation in my back.
it feels like something is pushing to get out of my back.
i scream out in agony,
as my skin finally gives way and something rips my shirt.
the woman suddenly picks me up with a tremendous force,
and tosses me off a ledge!
i begin screaming and struggling to grasp at ground that is there no longer.
exerting every muscle in my body as i see the ground approaching faster and faster,
i notice with quite a surprise that there are new muscles in my back.
i spend what seems like an eternity trying to exercise these new muscles,
and finally i hear a further ripping of my shirt
as i suddenly begin slowing down
in my fall, and actually begin to ascend!
i rise higher and higher, faster and faster,
as i pass the ground i came from and finally even the clouds.
i then see a new sight.
i see a familiar place,
where many people are walking in a long single file line,
and at random intervals,
people fall from the line and are then caught
by very strong, very caring-looking people who look very similar to the woman i met,
who are apparently taking orders from some unseen force.
the ones who had fallen are then taken to a holding area,
where they lie unconscious for a surprisingly brief period of time,
wake up, then learn to fly like all the rest of us.
i then see those who had learned to fly flying on an unseen highway leading up.
i don't see where this ends,
but i do notice that these souls appear much happier than those who had been walking.
now, as i ponder my position when i was trying to stand,
i think about how much better off i am now that i can fly
even than when i could stand.
i realize that if i had never fallen,
i never could be where i am now,
i never would have learned to fly,
i never would have met the beautiful woman that is now my wife,
and i never would have made it this far on my journey.
now i anticipate what will come upon my path,
where i am now armed with wings of gold and silver,
and i wait until the day when i will finally meet the Lord face to face.
until then, let me urge you
to not become discouraged when you fall to your knees,
for it could be that on your knees is just where you need to be for a while,
and it could be that that is just the position you need to be in to take off in flight.
sometimes, gold appears as bronze,
and sometimes water has to fall on its path to the sea.
Where are You Running?
Where are you running,
O beautiful creature?
I just want to see you,
And to say hello.
I used to see you every week,
But now it seems like years since I’ve seen your lovely face.
Why do you run from me,
Wondrous creation of God?
Am I that detestable?
All I want to
know is if you feel the same for me
As I feel for you.
Rather, I want to know why you’re running from me.
What have I done?
Besides trying to get your attention,
And complementing you by just talking to you,
What have I done?
I want to see your beautiful smile,
Hear your laugh that is as light as a cloud,
In the beautiful sky.
However, you have become to me as a dark thunder cloud,
Blotting out the sun,
And raining over my entire world,
And inviting storm after storm.
The saddest thing is,
You probably don’t even realize what you’re doing;
You don’t know that you’re running from me.
Perhaps what is really happening
Is that you’re not running,
Actually you’re just living your life,
Walking on your path through the forest,
Not even realizing that you’re walking further and further
From a pot of pure gold,
Resting beneath one of the trees.
This pot you couldn’t see,
Because you never bothered to look behind any of the trees.
You instead spend all your time attending to the small shrubs
Growing along the path.
You never bother to stray even two steps
From the path,
Because that would mean uncertainty
And discomfort.
But I suppose the pot of gold is as much to blame as you,
For it does not grow legs and walk over to you,
It does not scream out at the top of its…lungs
To get your attention.
But even if it did run over to your comfortable path,
Would you even take notice?
Or would you notice only the ugly condition of the pot?
Nevermind the interior,
All that matters is the exterior, right?
When you happen by again years and years later,
You notice the pot,
But the pot is empty.
All you can figure is that
While you were on your own path,
Attending to your shrubs,
A bandit came by,
One who was not too busy to look behind trees,
And he stole all the gold.
Now it is too late for you.
The gold is gone,
And all you’re left with is shrubs,
And a few rocks and sticks you found along the path.
There comes a toll road upon your path.
Now how will you have any way to pay the toll?
You desperately hand the gatekeeper your sticks and rocks,
And he sadly shakes his head,
And he points to a town,
Made up largely of run-down bordellos and bars.
Apparently this is what you have to look forward to
To earn enough money to pay the toll.
Meanwhile, back in the forest,
The pot still lies in wait,
And the gold lies only a foot away,
Hidden by leaves and grass.
Goodbye, sweet traveler.
Good luck on your path,
I hope you have a good journey
Without the pot or the gold.
The gold will just have to content itself with lying in the leaves,
For it does not have the comfort of lying in your pockets,
Away from the cold, hard ground.
with me
walk with me
and see what i see
fly with me
and do what i do
i will show you
the world
as you watch
you can see my heart
come away with me
and leave these behind
as we move along
you will begin to forget
you can teach me to dance
i will teach you to fly
we have nothing left to do
we have nowhere to go
just stay here with me
for now
and forever
Writing About You
I’m sitting here writing about you,
But I can’t think of a thing to say about you.
You are a mystery, really,
And I don’t even know why
I think about you so much.
It even seems like you’re trying to avoid me.
I can just imagine
You with your friends…
And the few times that I can muster
Enough courage to call you,
You see that it’s me calling,
And you give your friends that look-
The one that shows exasperation at my persistence.
I can take a hint,
It’s just that this once I thought maybe
I’d take my friends’ advice and decide not to give up so easily,
To take a chance and keep calling you.
It’s against every instinct in my body,
But I just think maybe I’m not as despicable as I see myself,
So one time I don’t give up hope, and I decide to step out on that limb I can’t see.
But you see, this time there really isn’t a limb.
So the one time I take a leap of faith and take a chance with you,
There’s nothing to catch me.
So there won’t be a next time,
I’m just gonna give up and save my energy and heart for another,
Maybe one that doesn’t hate me so.
Oh…maybe you don’t hate me…
But maybe the earth is really flat,
And maybe the moon is made of cheese.
Someday you will know how I feel about you,
And you will have pity on me.
You’ll see how unhappy you are with your life,
And you’ll see how unhappy I am also,
And you will wonder what could have been.
No, with my luck you will be as happy as a lark,
And I’m the only one that will be alone and unhappy.
I’m sitting here writing about you,
But all I can think about is how I’m not with you,
And how I’ll never be with you,
But I can’t give up hope.
All I can do is be reminded of you
Whenever I hear a song that you showed me,
And think of how you create such a hole in my soul
Without even knowing it.
Just by not letting me fill it by seeing you,
You do more damage than you could ever know.
Well, apparently, I can think of a lot to write about you,
Maybe it’s because I think of you way too much.
I don’t know,
I think I’ll give you rest by stopping to write of you for now,
But I’ll be bothering you again in a few minutes,
When I’ll be thinking of you again.
Well, goodbye for now,
I love you.
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