I fought off the blush because I didn’t want to appear as one of his groupies who fawn all over him and can barely get out a word in his presence. “Um, I guess?”
Jules laughed. “Oh, please, Cassidy. Don’t fall for it! He’s just trying to get you to make out with him in the next room.”
“What?” I squeaked.
He sent Jules a dirty look. “Don’t listen to her. She’s just jealous.” He seemed to think twice about it. “Would you?”
I choked on my root beer for the second time. “Would I what?” Though I had a feeling I knew what he meant.
He waggled his eyebrows. “Make out.” He nudged me and I couldn’t help but be drawn to his mouth and wonder. “You and me.”
I should’ve said something cool like you wish or get lost or in your dreams or even sure, let’s go, but no, that’s not what happened.
“Well, I’m not sure about that. A girl can’t just go kissing anybody especially when the kissee has a reputation…I mean not that you have one, but sometimes I hear stuff, and I mean really reputations are probably complete lies and mean absolutely nothing when in fact you’re probably a great guy and wouldn’t hurt a flea.” I took a deep breath but couldn’t stop as he raised an eyebrow with the start of a grin creeping onto his face. This just made me talk faster. “Plus, there’s all the girls at school who are waiting for you to ask them out, and I don’t want to be known as a heart breaker though who knows? That might be better than my current reputation, and I’ve learned more than anybody that rumors can be brutal and start from a place of envy…”
Honestly? I ran out of breath. At this point I prayed, desperately, begging God to complete a miracle and open the floor to swallow me, because I was pretty sure I could never show my face in school again. I peered through my lashes, expecting everyone in the room to be listening and staring at me, but they weren’t. In fact, they acted like they hadn’t heard a word.
His grin turned into a full-out smile. “I’m not sure which one of us has the worst reputation.”
I snorted. “Obviously…” I was going to say that he definitely had the worst reputation. Then I thought about the whispers and rumors about proms and rides in cop cars.
“What were you about to say?” he asked, his voice serious even though I couldn’t miss the gleam in his eye.
“Obviously, I have the worst reputation.”
He laughed, loud and long, and that’s what drew everyone’s attention to me. Ava still looked suspicious, like I must have bribed someone like Jasper to have him laugh at anything I said. Jules smiled and winked. Zeke completely ignored me, but seemed bothered as he asked Ava to play some car racing game on the video game system.
Jasper leaned into me. “I kinda like you.”
I smiled shyly. I’ll admit it. I’d have to be an unfeeling zombie to not have a major case of the flutters when the hottest, most popular guy in school said he liked me. Even if it was only kinda.
“How about we go outside and give them something to talk about?” He nodded toward the door that led to an outside patio. “We can kiss if you want, or we can just let them think we are. It could improve your reputation. I promise I’ll keep you warm.”
I was going to say no maybe some other time, except Elena flounced into the room with Michael trailing behind her. She caught one look at me and seemed surprised, like how did I end up here before her? Michael took note of me too, especially since Jasper was still whispering in my ear. A deliciously warm feeling accompanied his words, and I felt like I was floating.
What if Michael was jealous? What if I had been going about this all wrong? I glanced at Jasper sideways. He grinned, offering me the chance I was looking for.
“Why not?” I asked.
He hooked his arm through mine and led me from the room amidst the cat calls. Jules’s voice rose above the rest. “You hurt her and I’ll rip your balls off, Jasper!”
“Yikes. I’d better behave.” He grabbed my hand and led me to the swinging bench seat.
“It’s freezing out here.” I rubbed my arms and jumped up and down.
“That’s the point.” He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, his chest pressed against my back. The guy was like a wood stove.
“Man, you’re hot,” I said, my breath forming small clouds, then immediately wanted to bite back the words. “I mean, you know what I mean.” I stopped before I could start rambling again.
“No, I don’t. Why don’t you explain?” He ran his fingers through my hair with gentle touches.
“I mean your body is so hot, wait, I mean you produce a lot of warmth.”
But he laughed, and didn’t hear the second part of my sentence. When he stopped, I repeated myself.
“I got it. No need to cover.”
I gave up. With his lips so close to mine, I was tempted. This was the situation where if Michael truly loved me or even liked me a little, he’d burst through the door and come up with some excuse why we had to leave. Then he’d stride over and pull me from Jasper’s lap and whisk me away. But there must be rules to making a guy jealous, especially when it comes to kissing.
What if Michael came out and caught us kissing? He could totally lose faith in me, think I’m a slut and never talk to me again. Or if we were just about to kiss, he could feel like the rescuer, saving me from myself, before I kissed the wrong guy. But a girl can’t stay in the position of the almost-kiss without being a tease and losing the potential to make her guy jealous in the future. These difficult choices were running through my head, when Jasper brushed his lips against the corner of my mouth. It would’ve been so easy. I could tell Jasper would be a good kisser.
Then the door opened and I sucked in a breath, shocked that my fantasy was about to come true. Maybe I’d misread Michael? Maybe he was using Elena to make me jealous?
Zeke walked through the door, his eyes zeroing in on me right away.
Chapter 17
He rushed through the door with Ava hot on his heels. She tagged along with more than a scowl on her face. Not many guys have the guts to leave her when she’s weaving her love spell over them.
That’s something that completely baffles me when it comes to girls like Ava. They’re drop dead gorgeous, built in all the right ways with the shimmery golden hair and lots of money to go along with it. They swing from the top of the social totem pole and have gotten so used to it that it turns them into a snob, even if to start with they were nice girls—like me, of course.
So why would Ava rush after Zeke when it just made her look weak, pathetic and needy? I had no clue. Maybe someday I’d figure that out along with everything else like world peace and poverty and how to make cafeteria food edible.
Zeke stood across the deck, his stance like a warrior, fire in his eyes.
Jasper whispered, “I think your boyfriend’s mad.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I whispered back.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Ava continued to babble on excessively about how freezing it was and if she stayed out too much longer than the gel in her hair would freeze and she’d look like an icicle. Zeke completely ignored her, much to my growing pleasure, as he moved forward again, his legs swallowing up the distance between us. When he stopped, he seemed to muster any control he had. He breathed deep, rolled his shoulders, and cracked his neck.
Then with a tight smile, he said, “Wanna get out of here?”
I didn’t like the little-girl feeling I had right then, and Michael hadn’t even started inching away from Elena and toward the deck. “Well, I’m not too sure about that. I just got here…” I took another peek. Still no movement from Michael. “What’s so important?”
“I’d rather not say aloud, but we have stuff to talk about.”
Here’s the problem with going to that kind of camp where you meet a boy your age: He feels like he knows everything about you, and then he starts attending your high school.
“We could stop for
ice cream too.” He said it like he was holding a brand new shade of lipstick in front of Ava.
In that moment it was like time froze. Michael flirted with Elena on the other side of the sliding glass door. Ava stared intensely at the back of Zeke as if to will him to look at her. Jasper’s lips were inches from mine, teasing, waiting for what he always gets. Zeke had his eyes on me, waiting for an answer.
For the first time in my life, I was the power player. I had the option to make a short-term sacrifice to reach my long-term goals. I mean someone like Jasper wouldn’t be interested in someone like me for very long. I was just a new challenge, a fresh breeze that happened to blow in his direction and capture his interest for a few minutes.
But what if I blew him off? What if I used Zeke to get my revenge on Ava and make Jasper jealous, so he’d pursue me and then in turn make Michael jealous? Of course, it could be social suicide, too, but…
“Know what? I think I’ll take you up on that.” I plastered on a smile and leaped from Jasper’s lap, leaving his puckered lips in the cold. I hooked my arm through Zeke’s, and we whisked back through Jasper’s basement.
“Sorry, Jules. Sorry everyone.” They all looked up. “We’re heading out.”
Jules narrowed her eyes but smiled approvingly when she saw I was with Zeke. Suddenly leaving with the popular new guy made my actions more acceptable. Michael gave a cursory glance, but then went back to his awkward flirting with Elena.
Poor guy. He still didn’t realize he was with the wrong girl.
We were at the door when Jules said, “Oh, by the way, Cassidy, you’ll have to join prom committee!”
“Sure thing!” Then Zeke and I left.
Prom? I fought a wave of brief discouragement because I didn’t see how—through all these smoke and mirrors and games, I’d ever end up with my dream date at prom.
***
“Seriously?” I wanted to add more than that but I couldn’t say everything coursing through my mind at that moment. Not if I wanted to use Zeke to make Jasper jealous to make Michael jealous so I could have my dream prom date.
Zeke had pulled into a roller skating rink. “What?”
I pointed to the Fun Times Rink sign. “This is what you dragged me away for?”
“Definitely. You never want to appear desperate with that group, and by staying just long enough to be grateful, but not so long that you annoy them, you’re doing good.”
I still doubted. “Fine, whatever.” Too bad Jasper wouldn’t be around to see us. Maybe it was better that I’d left him wondering.
Let’s just say that roller skates and I were not meant to be best friends. I wobbled precariously around the rink and fell on my butt at least once a minute. It didn’t help that all these cocky little kids were zooming past me like this was the freeway and I was some kind of grandma driving her old Chevy. After my tenth time falling and after the fact that my butt was done kissing the floor, I skated off and fell into a seat with a sigh of relief. I wasn’t sure how long I sat, dazing off and oblivious to the party horns, music and cake.
At some point, Zeke plopped down next to me. I expected him to say anything except what he did.
“I wasn’t exactly Mr. Nice Guy at the Christmas dance. Maybe it’s time we call a truce.”
A truce? That meant friendship and texting and telling the whole truth about last spring because that’s what friends do.
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt his feelings, but if we became true friends then I’d feel bad about the half-truths and eventually break down and spill the truth about last spring…and I couldn’t go there. “I’m sure we could be the best of friends, but you saw Ava back at Jasper’s. Ava is my cousin’s best friend. If I all of a sudden become best buds with you when she’s going after you?” I drew my finger across my neck. “Social suicide.” Disappointment flickered on his face. “Not that I care about what Ava thinks, but I do care about my cousin.”
Just like that all my plans to use Zeke to make Jasper jealous to make Michael jealous fell apart, but I was right. If I crossed Ava, what would she do to me? I’d have to leave Zeke out of the equation and just use Jasper in my nefarious plans.
He laughed. “I never suggested we should get married. We can be friends without flirting and hanging all over each other all the time, right?”
“Right.” I fiddled with the laces on my skates. Something scared me about being real honest-to-goodness friends with Zeke. I didn’t even know what.
“Then it’s settled. We’re friends. And friends don’t let friends give up.”
“Huh?”
He grinned and his eyes lit up in a way that would make most girls swoon or at least want to be his friend. I needed more smiles like that in my life.
He grabbed my hand. “Let’s go. One time around.”
“Oh, no way.” I yanked my hand back and gripped onto the chair. “Forget it. My butt’s on strike.”
He laughed and after prying my fingers off, pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go.”
On the floor, he skated backwards and held my hands. He swayed back and forth. “Just one foot and then the next. Glide forward.”
I wobbled and let out a little squeak—okay more like a loud squeal. He steadied me. “Don’t look at the floor.” He lifted my chin. “Look at me.”
For the next few minutes I gazed into his lovely greenish-brown eyes that were focused on me. He asked me questions. How’d I do on the science test? Do I like bunny rabbits? What’s my favorite color? Where was I applying to college? Had I made a snowman yet this year?
When he ran out of questions, a comfortable silence fell between us. I became aware of things like the sound of our breathing and the smell of his laundry detergent and how nice his touch felt. My insides did this twisty little dance.
“We’ve been around at least ten times. I’ve done more than a sufficient job at not giving up so you’ve done your friendship act for the day.”
He led me over to the benches. We switched over to sneakers and bought French fries before heading out. The conversation was easy and I thought just maybe this whole friendship thing could work.
I had him drop me off at home. He pulled into my driveway but kept his hands on the steering wheel. “I had fun. Thanks.”
“I did too,” I said softly. “Thanks.”
He flashed a smile then held up his fist. “Here’s to friends.”
“Right, friends.” Then I fist bumped him as the official start of our friendship.
I opened the door, shivering at the brisk winter wind. I watched his taillights turn the corner and sighed. All my plans have incredible potential and are brilliant in and of themselves, but sometimes I have no control over outside elements.
Like other boys.
Chapter 18
The second prom committee meeting, I purposely arrived early so I could snag a seat close to the door. That was key. I wore my favorite skinny jeans, wondering how many times I could wear them before others started to notice.
A variety of kids shuffled into the room. I could tell by their faces why they were there. The kids with a sullen look, their eyes blank and staring, had parents who had highly suggested they join any and every committee to add to their college applications. They sat like robots, ready to receive their assignment or just sit through Jules’s speeches and show up to decorate the night before.
Some girls came in like they just walked out of a salon, their hair extra curly or fluffy and lipstick expertly applied. Those girls wanted something. Either an in with the popular crowd, or they were trying to catch the eye of a boy. I guess, technically I was in this category except I did not fluff my hair.
Then there were the people who actually cared, like Jules and Ava and some of their other friends. Of course, the boys in their group showed up under threat of death.
Jules showed up with bright eyes, an enthusiastic smile and stacks of clipboards, sign-ups, and handouts. At the first meeting, we’d filled out a survey th
at would help her figure out our best skill set. Today, we’d find out who we would work with and on what.
Jules rang a tiny bell to get everyone’s attention. She stood tall and proud, smoothing the ends of her scarf. “This is going to be the best prom this school has ever seen. And thanks to all of you, we’re going to make this happen. In ten years, teachers will still be talking about this prom.” She squealed and clapped her hands. “And you’re going to be a part of this.”
Oh, yay. That’s what I thought, but I had to admit a tiny part of me was excited. Jules has that effect on people.
Still, while she yammered on about the different categories and subheadings and sub-subheadings of what needed to be done, I studied Jasper, wondering if he’d be willing to make some sort of deal. Even when he wasn’t smiling, the faint indentations of his dimples could be seen. He wore the moccasins with rolled up khakis again, and I swear, some day, I’d ask him how he got away with this fashion faux-pas. Then there were his lips, soft, pink, and slightly parted like he wanted girls to notice how kissable they were. Well, it worked.
Someone kicked my chair. I glanced back at Zeke, who studied me, his lips slightly curled, but I couldn’t tell if they were curled in an almost smile or a smirk, like he knew I’d been checking out Jasper.
“What?” I mouthed.
He shrugged as if to say nothing and then pointed back to Jules like we should be paying attention.
Jules kept talking and talking and talking. I didn’t realize there were so many complicated aspects to prom. I mean, it was a dance, not a scientific experiment for the Nobel Prize. I was excited and looked forward to prom just like any other girl but lately I’d been having doubts and realized that along with prom came a whole lot of other issues, like dates and dresses. If I’d learned anything from the Christmas dance, it was that not everything goes our way or ends in a fairytale happily-ever-after way. I raised my hand.
Jules jabbered on until finally, she paused, then said, “Cassidy?”
“Why does this all have to be so complicated? It’s about a guy and a girl and a dance. This isn’t some fairy tale.”
Silence fell over the room. A minute went by while Jules tapped her finger against her chin, obviously deep in thought. The whispers started and chairs shifted.