"Because he just asked me to prom."
"What?" they said in unison.
"And I said no." I filled them in on the details of Colin's proposal. Even how honest and somewhat rude I was to him.
"I can't believe you aren't going to go," Charlotte said. "Besides, it was thoughtful of him to offer to buy your dress ... and now the coat."
"I know. I can't keep this. It's too much. And it isn't like I have anything against Colin. He's so nice." I looked down at the coat. "And generous. It's about prom at Longbourn. I'm not going to sit here and fool myself that I'd be welcome at prom. Look at what happens when I go to a regular party. Plus, I want to go to something like that with somebody special."
Charlotte shrugged. "I would be disappointed if I didn't go. But Colin's right, you and I are tainted goods."
"Charlotte!" Jane was horrified. "I can't believe you would say such a thing. At least you two don't have a sister who humiliated you in front of the entire world!"
"Oh, I didn't realize the entire world fit into the restaurant last night," I teased. "And to think, I missed an opportunity to meet the president of the United States."
"I'm just glad I didn't run into my ex-boyfriend," Charlotte continued.
"Apparently, you guys haven't seen the latest Internet sensation?" Jane pulled up a video of Lydia's dance that someone had uploaded. "The family is so proud."
"Oh, Jane ..." I started scrolling through the hate-filled comments. "I'm so sorry."
She shook her head. "I'm going to try to get over it. Someday."
"It's nice to have goals."
My cell phone went off. My heart jumped when I saw it was Wick. "Hey," I said, moving into the hallway for some privacy.
"So, you're talking to me even after I left you alone with the trust-fund babies last night?" His voice was warm and friendly.
"I guess I could see my way to forgive you."
"You're so generous. That's very un-Longbourn of you. Be careful, you might get kicked out next."
"At least then I'd be in better company."
A tingle went up my spine as he laughed. "Listen, I'm sorry for bailing, especially at the last minute. I really wanted to go and had every intention of being there. But last night as I got ready, I knew that if I showed up it wouldn't be good for you. There's no way that I could be in the same room as you-know-who, and I didn't want to bring any negative attention to you."
"I understand. I don't like being in the same room with him, either."
Charlotte suddenly exited our room. "Lizzie ... Jane needs you."
"Listen, can I call you back?"
"You better."
I ran back into our room and found Jane curled up on her bed.
"Jane, what's wrong? You know nobody will be talking about that stupid video in a week."
"No, it's not that." She handed me her phone. There was a text from Charles.
Can't make it tonight. Things are hectic. I'll be in touch.
"Oh." I didn't know what to say. It seemed very unlike Charles to break off a date, and to be so terse in doing it. He was completely smitten with Jane. He'd spent most of his party at her side and doted on her. "I'm sure it's nothing. Let's go grab dinner."
As Jane and Charlotte got ready, I quickly called Wick back and explained the situation. I was not at all surprised when he said he completely understood. When they were set, I hung up and together we headed down the long staircase toward the dining hall.
Caroline was heading out the main entrance door with Cat. When Caroline saw us, she turned to Cat and said loudly, "I'm so glad you're coming out tonight with us. I really think you and Charles will hit it off." Jane stopped dead in her tracks. Caroline continued, "You know how important it is to protect your family name. When you're a Bingley, like a de Bourgh, you have to be careful about the people you associate with. I would think that most Longbourn girls would know that well." She glanced toward us. "Or at least the ones who have a reputation worth preserving."
Cat nodded absently as Caroline walked out. Cat followed obediently behind her.
"Jane ..."
The color rushed out of Jane's face. "So that's it. I've been replaced."
"That's ridiculous. I'm sure there's an explanation for --"
Jane turned around and headed back upstairs. "I'm not hungry."
"Jane!" I rushed after her. "Anybody who has ever seen you two together knows that Charles is crazy about you. Please, if Darcy looked at Caroline with even half the affection that Charles looks at you, she'd be walking around campus with her prom dress on."
Jane smiled. "Really?"
"Are you kidding me? There's no way that he's going to be able to stay away from you."
15.
I'D BEEN WRONG ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS IN MY LIFE. BUT one thing that I would have bet my life savings on (as paltry as the sum may have been) was that Charles would be back to pursuing Jane in a matter of days.
But I was wrong. Dead wrong.
Two weeks passed, and nothing. It was heartbreaking to watch Jane stare at her cell phone, wishing it to ring. She wasn't the only one confused by Charles dropping off the face of the earth. It didn't make sense.
And to add to the list of boys with confusing behaviors, Colin refused to admit that he'd bought me the coat, and had dropped off the face of the earth as well. Or at least he'd stopped visiting me at the Junction.
And then there was Wick. Wick would visit me occasionally at work and flirt (at least I thought he was flirting), but he hadn't asked me out on another date.
What made it even worse was that Valentine's Day was approaching. And if there was anything more annoying than a Longbourn girl obsessing over prom, it was a Longbourn girl freaking out over Valentine's Day. Especially since I'd found out that Valentine's Day was the most popular day for Pemberley boys to ask Longbourn girls to prom.
It was bad enough to see the red balloons and heart signs sprouting up in town and infiltrating campus. I was trying to shield Jane from all the puppy love as much as possible. That night, I even volunteered to run to the dining hall to grab us dinner, for fear they'd be serving a red meal on heart-shaped plates. I ran into Charlotte on the way there.
"Oh, hi." She seemed unnerved to see me. "Heading to dinner?"
As we walked down the staircase, I saw Colin waiting in the entrance hall. "Oh, no. What does he want? Can he not take a hint?"
"Lizzie." Charlotte slowed down. "He's here for me."
"Oh." I tried to not sound so shocked.
"I didn't know when to tell you, but I'm going to prom with Colin."
I laughed. "Are you joking?"
Charlotte's face fell. "No, I'm not. Are you shocked that he could recover from your rejection?"
"No, not at all." I didn't know which one of us should have been more offended -- her for my thinking she was second to me, or me for Charlotte's thinking I'd be so egotistical. "I know you really want to go to prom, and I couldn't be happier for you. Really."
Charlotte smiled weakly. "I don't blame you for being surprised, but I'm not a romantic, Lizzie. I'm practical. I want to go to prom, and he asked."
"I'm sure you are going to have a great time. I can't wait to see your dress."
"Thanks. Well, I better ..."
"Of course, have a great night."
I watched Charlotte as she ran down to greet Colin, who had a heart-shaped box of chocolates hidden behind his back. They both seemed happy, albeit a little awkward with each other. Colin tried to go in for a double kiss on the cheek, but ended up kissing Charlotte's ear.
I went to the dining hall, collecting food to take back to the room. Since the "Lydia Incident" (Lydia, of course, wasn't embarrassed about the video; she was happy that people knew who she was), both Jane and I had been going through the motions.
The upcoming long weekend for Presidents' Day was a welcome respite. Most of the campus would be empty. While my parents were hoping I would come visit, I wanted to get my work done and knew the Java Junc
tion would be slow, so it would be a great way for me to earn money and get some reading done.
Plus, Mrs. Gardiner had a surprise for me that Friday during my piano lesson.
"I think it is time we had a little chat about the spring recital," she said. She had a mischievous grin on her face, which I knew meant trouble.
I nodded. "I assumed I'd be playing the Rachmaninoff." We'd been working on the eighteenth variation of Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini.
"Yes, I think you should play it -- but the whole thing, with the orchestra. You'd be the featured performer."
I was stunned into silence. The entire Rhapsody was nearly twenty-five minutes long. "I don't think ..."
Mrs. Gardiner got up from her chair beside the piano in the music suite. "You aren't going to be able to do it if you don't think you can do it. You can! And you will!"
This was why I was at Longbourn, to challenge myself. She was right. I needed to believe in myself.
"Elizabeth, I've never had a student as gifted as you. I want your performance to be the wonderful coda of the year."
"Okay." I flipped through the entire piece, studying the runs. "I can do this."
She clapped her hands together. "Excellent! That's the spirit I was looking for. I was getting worried about you."
"Why were you worried about me?"
Mrs. Gardiner gave me a weak smile. "You just haven't seemed like yourself the last couple of days. I know you have had some difficulty adjusting, but you seemed to finally get your stride."
"Oh," I replied. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I'd always tried to leave whatever was going on in my personal life behind during my lessons -- but clearly I hadn't done the best job of it.
"I don't mean to pry," she said apologetically.
Most teachers at Longbourn enjoyed the student gossip as much as the girls. But Mrs. Gardiner was the only teacher who seemed to be looking out for me.
"It's fine," I told her. "It's just that my friend is going through a hard time right now."
"Okay, dear." She patted me on the back. "Have a good long weekend. And by a good long weekend, I mean you should practice as much as you can. This piece is going to be a killer."
I was happy for the distraction. Diving into a challenging arrangement would give me something to do besides sit in silence with Jane each night. I would be studying and she would have a book in front of her, but I was pretty sure she wasn't studying. To make matters worse, her mother still insisted they go in for a consultation on her prom dress over the break. The last thing Jane needed was a reminder of what had happened -- or, in her case, what hadn't happened -- with Charles.
16.
THE CAMPUS WAS QUIET ALL WEEKEND. I WAS ONE OF THE few people who remained in the dorm. Even Charlotte went home to Maine. I should've been used to an isolated existence at this point, but I really missed Jane. And Charlotte, even though things had been a little uncomfortable between us since she agreed to go to prom with Colin.
I worked Monday afternoon, since we didn't have class. It began picking up in the late afternoon as students started returning to campus.
"Miss me?" a familiar voice called out as my back was to the counter.
"Where were you this weekend?" I asked Wick. I was disappointed that I hadn't seen or heard from him.
"In Manhattan." He playfully pulled on my visor.
"Oh, big-city boy, are we?" I started making his regular drink. "And what were you doing there?"
"You know, the usual."
"Causing trouble?"
"Only for the people who deserve it."
Even though I was annoyed that he hadn't told me he'd be away, I couldn't hold a grudge against him. We were too much alike.
"Lizzie!" Lydia ran up to the counter. "I'm so happy to see you. This weekend was awful -- Jane still hasn't forgiven me. She's being so unreasonable." She paused for a brief second. "I want a tall, frozen mocha latte with extra whipped cream and chocolate."
I grimaced. Lydia knew what a pain those frozen drinks were. But she didn't care. And why should she? This was my job, after all.
As I scooped out the ice, Lydia turned her attention toward Wick. "Hey," she said as she eyed him up and down. "You go to Pemberley?"
"Lydia," I interrupted. "This is Wick."
A smile slowly spread on her face. "Oh, you're the one who got kicked out of Pemberley and are mortal enemies with Darcy."
"Lydia!" I was surprised by how much I sounded like Jane when I scolded her.
Wick just laughed. "My, aren't we forward? That's okay, I like forward."
I turned on the blender so I could drown out Lydia's excessive gabbing. I selfishly wanted to have Wick all to myself and take a break so we could catch up, but there was no way Lydia would be leaving us alone.
Lydia grabbed her drink out of my hand before I even had a chance to put the lid on. She started playing with the straw in what I could have only assumed was supposed to be a seductive manner.
"When's your break?" Wick asked me.
I glanced at the clock. "I suppose I could take a few minutes now." We headed toward a table. Lydia followed.
"You know," Lydia cooed to Wick, "I think Darcy probably hates Lizzie more than he hates you."
"Thanks for that." I shot her a look.
"What? Isn't that what you guys talk about? Darcy?"
Wick shrugged his shoulders. "You might not believe this, but there are things in this world worth talking about other than Will Darcy."
"Exactly." In fact, Wick and I hardly ever talked about Darcy. There was no need to bring up such an unpleasant subject.
"So, do you have a girlfriend?" Lydia asked bluntly.
"Why, are you auditioning?" Wick teased.
"You shouldn't encourage her," I whispered in his ear.
He raised his eyebrows. "Lydia, you can do much better than a guy like me."
"Oh, I don't know." Lydia bit her straw. "I like bad boys."
I resisted every urge to vomit. I was questioning humanity enough because of how Charles had treated Jane, and the last thing I needed to witness was flirting between Lydia and Wick.
"Well, I'm sorry, but this bad boy is somewhat taken at the moment." Wick winked at me.
I felt my face grow hot by his attention, and what he was implying.
"With whom?" Lydia asked.
"Oh." Wick wiggled in his seat. "She goes to Longbourn, so you might know her."
I looked down at the floor, embarrassed.
"Who?" Lydia prodded, not getting it.
"Sylvia Kent. She's a senior."
Sylvia Kent.
Sylvia Kent?
Sylvia Kent!
I tried to process what he was saying. I knew who Sylvia Kent was, but it didn't make sense. I thought he despised the girls at Longbourn just as much as I did. I was trying to understand, but there was a part of my brain that just wasn't letting me. Sylvia Kent?
Wick could tell with one look at me that there was something wrong. I'm sure I wasn't being very subtle with my confusion, but Wick knew me. We had an understanding between us -- or at least I thought we had, until the words "Sylvia Kent" left his lips.
He turned to Lydia. "It's Lydia, right?" he asked. She became overly pleased that he knew her name. "Could you give me a few minutes alone with Lizzie?"
Lydia got up, went to an empty table, and started texting.
I couldn't look at Wick. I was so horrified that I'd assumed he had any feeling for me at all.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you sooner," he began.
I cut him off. "Oh, it's fine. You didn't need to say anything to me. It's not like we were, um, dating or anything."
He leaned back in his chair. "I don't want you to be mad at me -- I do have an ulterior motive with Sylvia. Her dad runs a pretty big law firm in New York. Entertainment law, not nearly as prestigious as Mr. Darcy's corporate law office. But since that didn't work out, I thought I'd try to make a connection a different way. An internship at his
law firm practically guarantees acceptance at an Ivy League school."
I was trying to reconcile everything Wick had said to me in the past about the spoiled brats at Pemberley and Longbourn with what he was saying now.
He continued, "I know that I must seem like a hypocrite to you. That's why I didn't want to tell you. But you're still fairly new to the whole rich crowd. Lizzie, you've got to understand that we need to take advantage of our situations when we can. Hang around with them long enough, you start to appreciate it, even as you work to undermine it. There's a big difference between connections and connection. What I have with Sylvia is a matter of connections. What I have with you is a matter of connection. One is vastly more important than the other, and I'm sure you can imagine which it is."
All I could do was nod. I excused myself and went to the back room. I was equal parts hurt, angry, and embarrassed by his revelation. I really liked Wick, and I'd foolishly thought he liked me. Maybe, in a twisted way, he still did. But what really did matter most -- connections or connection? He was the first guy I met here who'd understood me. He liked me for who I was. But was that enough? After all, I didn't have a rich family or fancy job prospects.
He hadn't once mentioned that he liked Sylvia. Did that mean he could still like me? Or that liking had nothing to do with it? Could I truly fault him for taking advantage, when I knew that neither of us would ever be given an advantage?
I looked at my gray coat hanging on the employee coatrack. Colin still refused to admit he bought it for me, so I couldn't have returned it even if I wanted to. But even though I knew that, I wondered: Did keeping the coat mean that I was taking advantage of my situation? Did I feel the same way about Charlotte going to the prom with Colin that I did about Wick and Sylvia?
It was bad enough to see friendship and love in terms of politics. But seeing it in terms of business was even worse. I looked out from the back room and saw Wick patiently waiting for me. Then he looked up. Saw me. And we hung there for a moment.
I knew I was overreacting to what he'd said because I wanted him to like me. I was taking it personally.
The question was: How personal did it really get? Was I frightened by his desire for connections, or by my own lack of them? I stayed there in the doorway until he got the hint and left. It's very easy to get a boy to leave a room. It's much harder to get him to leave your thoughts.