His voice gets softer and softer, and he stops when he’s about halfway into the book. “She’s asleep,” he says, and he closes the cover.
“You can’t stop now,” I protest. “I have to find out what happens.”
He grins, opens the book back up, and continues to read. He turns pages with one hand while the other strokes down the length of my hair. My eyelids grow heavy, so I lean against the mattress and let them fall closed. His fingers dig deeper and start to massage my scalp. I finally look up when I realize he has closed the book and all his attention is on me.
I get up on my knees and lean on my elbows, looking at Hayley snuggled and safe under her blankets. “She’s beautiful,” I whisper.
“Yeah, she is,” he says. He brushes my hair back over my shoulder. “So are you.”
My heart stutters, and I force myself to take a deep breath through my nose. But all I can smell is him and the little-girl scent that’s all Hayley.
“Did you ever want this?” he asks, jerking his head toward his daughter.
I nod. “Once upon a time, yes,” I whisper. “I wanted it. More than anything.”
“What changed?” he asks. His blue eyes stare into mine.
“Everything,” I say. Regret hits me like a truck smashing into my body. I push to my feet and walk to the door. I turn back to look at him. “Are you coming?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Sometimes I just like to watch her sleep.”
“Okay. Good night,” I say softly.
He looks up at me and smiles. “’Night.”
I go out to the kitchen and clean up a little. The pizza boxes go into the recycling and so do the beer cans. I load the dishwasher and wipe off the counter.
I startle when I see Paul with his hip hitched against the counter. “You don’t have to clean up,” he says. He’s quiet, probably because he doesn’t want to wake Hayley.
“I don’t mind.” I wipe my hands with a dishtowel and smile at him. He looks at me. He really looks at me, and it makes me want to squirm. “We never did talk about how much I’m going to pay you for the room.”
“I thought we’d just take it out in trade. You know, sexual favors?”
I snort and toss the wet towel at his head. He catches it. “Have you ever paid for sex?” I ask.
This time he snorts. “Never had to.” He grins, and it’s so damn sexy I could drop my panties right here and not even feel bad about it.
“Women come easily for you.”
He smiles even more widely. “Some come more easily than others.”
He knows that’s not what I meant. “You and Kelly…you weren’t exclusive, were you?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “We were before we had Hayley. Then we weren’t.”
“And that was okay with both of you?” I go sit down on the couch, and he follows me. He sits beside me and takes my hand. Heat shoots from his palm to mine, and a tingle spikes up my arm. I shiver.
“It was okay with us,” he says quietly. “I like that you shiver for me,” he adds, his voice so soft and rough I can barely hear it.
I take a deep breath, and he watches my chest rise and fall and licks his lips. “I can’t have an orgasm,” I blurt out.
He sits back a little. “What?”
“I…um…I can’t have an orgasm. I can’t come. I can’t get off.” Fuck, I should have stopped at orgasm. I groan inwardly.
He chuckles and scratches his head. “Well, that’s a challenge. But I feel sure we can get past it.” He leans down until his lips are almost touching mine. “I’m sure I can make you come,” he says. “I’m a hard worker.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I squeak, pushing him back with a hand on his chest.
He sits back. “Talk to me.”
“Since the insemination, I’m not allowed to orgasm. Not until after my checkup. It’ll lessen the chances of the baby taking root.”
His brows rise. “Really?”
I nod.
“Oh, so on a normal day, you don’t have a problem with orgasms? Getting off? Coming?” He adjusts his jeans, tugging on the zipper, and I can see his manhood pressed hard against it. He doesn’t touch it or do anything inappropriate, and I wouldn’t even know how affected he is if he wasn’t so fucking big. God.
My cheeks are on fire. “No, normally not an issue. Although it has been a really long time.”
“How long?” He turns to face me and rests his elbow on the back of the couch, and drags his fingers through my hair.
“A really long time,” I repeat. I let my head fall back and groan to myself. “I know you’re not used to waiting…” I let my voice trail off.
“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life,” he says. “I can wait as long as it takes.”
“You’re so not what I expected, Paul,” I tell him.
“What did you expect?” His hand stops moving in my hair and starts to trail slowly up and down my arm.
“Sex on a stick,” I say quickly. I want to bite the words back as soon as they fall from my lips, but now they’re out there.
He chuckles. “I thought the same thing about you.” He tweaks my nose. “I’ve been fantasizing about you for years.”
I roll my eyes. “But your fantasies included me and another chick.” He did think I was a lesbian, after all.
He shakes his head. “No, it was just you in my head. All you, all the time.” He gets quiet for a second, but it’s not uncomfortable. “When you kissed me, you shocked the shit out of me.”
I wince. “Sorry.”
He holds up both hands. “Oh, please don’t be sorry. I loved it. But then I knew I had to make some changes if I wanted anything real with you. So I did.” He shrugs.
“Why me?” I ask.
“Because you’re you.”
“You don’t know the real me.”
“I know. That’s why I wouldn’t sleep with you right now even if there was no medical issue with it.”
I shove his shoulder. “Liar.”
He shakes his head. “I want to know everything about you.” He lifts my wrist and looks at my tattoos one by one. I have lettering up my inner forearm, and he starts to read it, but I twist my hand before he can finish. “You have these all over, right?” he asks. “Just like me.”
I nod.
He grins somewhat sheepishly. “I want to explore them all with my tongue.” He chuckles.
“Changing your mind about sleeping with me already?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. Exploring your body would give me just about as much pleasure as fucking you, Friday. I want to know everything.”
“There are some things I’ll never tell you.” I know this about me. He should know it, too. That way, he won’t have any unmet expectations. “I don’t think I can go that deeply. Not with anybody. I’m sorry.” I start to fidget because I don’t know what to do with my hands. “So after my little medical issue is over, I still won’t bare my soul to you.” I lean forward and take his face in my hands. I swipe my fingers beneath his eyes, back and forth in gentle sweeps. “I’ll sleep with you, though. On my terms.”
“I don’t like to share,” he says.
“Neither do I.”
“I won’t share,” he clarifies.
“Neither will I.”
He smiles. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”
I shake my head. “Probably not.”
“I have a feeling we could be really good together.”
“You always keep your promises, right?”
He nods. “I try to.”
“Promise me that you won’t break my heart.”
He heaves a sigh. “Friday,” he says.
“Paul,” I say, mocking his tone.
“You’d have to hand me your heart before I could break it.”
I nod. That’s true. “Okay.”
“But if you ever do trust me enough to give it to me, I promise not to harm it. Is that what you want to hear?” He shakes his head. “I don’t
even know why this is an issue when you just plan to use me for sex.” He chuckles then raises a hand. “I volunteer as tribute!” he cries quietly.
I laugh. The bad thing is that if anyone could get me to hand my heart over, it’s him. Because I’ve had him in my head for so long that I don’t even know where to compartmentalize him anymore.
“Want to be my girlfriend?” he teases.
I shake my head. “Let’s just start with roommates.”
He nods. “I’ll take whatever you’ll give me.”
He gets up and holds out a hand. I take it, and he gently tugs me to my feet. He walks with me to my doorway, where his fingers pull from where they’re wrapped up in mine and fall away. “Lock your door,” he says.
“Why?”
“So Hayley won’t wake you up in the morning. She’s nosy. And she gets up at the ass crack of dawn.”
I laugh. “I wouldn’t mind.”
“Lock it so I won’t come to you in the middle of the night. I’m nosy, too.”
“I’ll take my chances,” I whisper as I close my door. I hear his footsteps creak across the floor as he walks away. I fall back against the door and finally allow myself to breathe. God, what have I gotten myself into?
Paul
I know Friday is pregnant before even she does. She’s been here for just over a week, and she’s woken up sick for the past two days. Is it bad that I kind of wish she had a virus? I crack the door to the bathroom and ask her if she needs anything.
She grunts and heaves. “Go away,” she growls.
I don’t open the door because we haven’t established that kind of intimacy yet. So, I just talk through the crack. “Want a wet cloth?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says quietly.
I open the door and find her leaning against the wall with one knee raised, her elbow resting on it. She’s wearing a T-shirt and panties, and I can see the elastic of the leg. I look away and get a washcloth from the cabinet, get it wet, and wring it out. I pass it to her, and she slaps it onto her forehead.
“Thanks,” she says.
“Want me to help you up?” I hold out my hand to her.
She burps into her closed fist. “Not yet,” she says, then she’s suddenly bent over the toilet again, heaving her guts up.
I just woke up so I get out my toothbrush and brush my teeth. I don’t want to leave her like this, but I can’t stand here and do nothing, either.
“When do you go to the doctor?” I ask.
“Tomorrow.”
“They’re going to be two happy motherfuckers,” I say. That part makes me grin. Garrett and Cody are going to be over the moon.
I reach down, and this time she takes my hand and lets me pull her up. She reaches for her toothbrush and sticks it in her mouth, but even brushing her teeth makes her gag. I rub her back gently, and she glares at me in the mirror.
“Go away,” she says around her toothbrush.
“Nope.” I cross my arms and lean my rear end against the counter. “I kind of like watching you get ready for the day.”
She pulls the shower curtain back and turns on the water. “You sure you don’t want to leave?” she asks, her eyes glinting in challenge.
“Not if you need me.”
She shrugs and then pulls her T-shirt over her head. She tosses it into the hamper, and suddenly she’s wearing nothing but a pair of pink panties. I can see the expanse of her naked back, and she has a large phoenix tattoo that I would have never guessed she had, along with a few others that are smaller.
“That is so not fair,” I say. She’s facing away from me toward the shower.
“I did warn you,” she taunts over her shoulder.
She hooks her thumbs in the hips of her panties and drags them down her bottom. She has these two adorable little dimples at the small of her back. And her ass, it’s just as round and perfect as I imagined in my wet dreams.
I turn to face the door. “Jesus Christ, Friday,” I grit out.
She makes a noise, but I can’t tell if it’s a laugh or if she’s still feeling sick. “Next time, you should give me some time alone when I’m in the bathroom,” she yells over the noise of the water.
“Can I go to the doctor with you tomorrow?” I call back. I wince. Why the fuck did I ask her that?
She jerks the curtain back and glares at me. “Why do you want to go?”
I shrug and look everywhere but at her. “I just do.”
“Ten o’clock,” she says, and she jerks the curtain closed.
I want to pump my fist in the air because I feel like I finally won a battle with Friday. All this week has been one fight after another. She fights to pick up after Hayley. She does the dishes and the laundry when she knows I’m planning to do them. She made dinner for me and Hayley twice this past week. Even Sam liked it when he finally dragged his ass home.
I’m not used to having anyone take care of me, and I can’t figure out if I like it. I have been taking care of everybody around me for a long time, but Friday has come in like a steamroller and changed my whole fucking life.
“Hey,” I say. “I want to take you somewhere special with me.”
“Where?” she asks over the rush of the water.
“My dad used to take me to this old movie theater. It’s closed down now, but it’s my favorite place in the whole world. We would have to break in, but the last time I did it, the projector still worked. We would just have to turn it on.”
She sticks her head out of the curtain. “I’ve never heard you say anything nice about your dad before.”
I shrug. “It’s just a movie theater.”
“No, it’s not,” she calls back. “I guess we could go one day. Is it the one with the old ticket booth out front.”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to go there.”
My heart warms. “Good.”
Her voice jerks me out of my thoughts. “Can you pass me a towel?” she asks.
I open the cabinet and get out the biggest and fluffiest one I can find. It must be hers, because none of what I have is this nice. She reaches around the curtain, her skinny little tatted arm waving impatiently at me. God, she makes me laugh.
That’s the best thing about Friday. She makes me laugh. I don’t know why, but just seeing her can get me out of a funk.
“Do you remember that guy who was at the shop last week when we were arguing?” I ask as she scrubs the towel over her hair. I can see it moving over the top of the shower curtain.
“Which time?”
I grin. We argue more than we agree, and I fucking love it. She’s the only person who ever tries to put me in my place. “When you cried and went into the bathroom.”
“Yes,” she says. She jerks the curtain back, and I realize that she’s wrapped the towel around her naked body and tucked the end of it between her breasts. “Stop looking at my tits,” she says. But she smiles and shakes her head so I know I’m not really in trouble. “What about him?”
“He called me yesterday. He wants to come in and do a pilot for a reality TV show based on the shop.”
Her gaze jerks up to mine. I realize suddenly that she has the cutest little freckles across the bridge of her nose. I don’t usually get to see her without makeup on. I like it. I like it a lot. I drag my fingertip down the bridge of her nose.
She scrunches up her face. “Why would he want to do a show based on the shop?”
“Well, there are five of us and apparently people have a thing for tattoos right now. Not to mention that Emily is recording with Fallen from Zero and now Sam is being scouted by the NFL.” I look away.
“What else?”
I grin. “What makes you think there’s more?”
“Because you’re awful at evasion.”
“Well, they really like Matt’s blended family, and the work Reagan and Pete do with the boys in the prison program excites them.”
Her brows arch. “And?”
“And apparently they thought you and I had chemistry.?
??
She snorts. “Chemistry?”
“Chemistry,” I repeat.
She looks at me in the mirror as she runs a comb through her hair. “How do you feel about that?”
She reaches around me for the medicine cabinet. The front of her body grazes mine, and she steadies herself with a hand on my chest as she reaches for a bottle of lotion. She squirts it into her hands and raises one foot to rest on the top of the closed toilet lid.
“Paul,” she says, jerking me from… Where was I?
“What?” I ask.
“How do you feel about the reality show?”
I shrug. “It’s a lot of money.”
“How much?”
She lifts her other foot and starts to rub lotion up her other leg. “Paul,” she coaxes.
“Enough that they could all get a good start in life.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Would it help you?”
“That’s not important. I just want to see them all settled and happy.”
She nods and steps up onto her tiptoes, kisses my cheek really quickly, and then sinks back down onto her heels. “You should talk to them about it.”
I nod. “I will.” I let my eyes scan her face. “I like your freckles,” I say.
“Good.” She grins. “Do you feel like going somewhere with me today?” she asks.
Logan, Matt, Sam, and Pete are all working today, so I don’t technically have to go in. I narrow my eyes at her. “Where?”
“It’s a surprise.” She smiles mischievously. “You’re not scared, are you?”
I scoff. “Of you? Never.”
I’m only scared of her every fucking day. She makes my gut wrench and my heart skip and my head churn. And she does it without even touching me. One day, she’s going to want to touch me and I’ll get to touch her back. But I kind of need for her to take the first step. I’m terrified of loving her because I know loving her won’t be easy. But I also know I don’t want to miss the chance.
Friday
It’s the end of May, and there’s a big fundraiser today for the homeless shelter in the park. The shelter I volunteer with has set up tents for the weekend, and each one has a different event going on at it. Mine is body paint. I’ll be doing henna tattoos and painting faces for kids all day. Anything that can be painted, I will paint.