“What’s this really about?” There’s more to this than she’s telling me.
She bites her lower lip, and for once, I don’t want to pull it free and kiss her teeth marks away. She shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”
“Tell me, Kells,” I say. “We’ve never had secrets from one another before.” I motion from her to me and back. “That’s why this thing between us works so well.”
Suddenly, she buries her face in her hands and waits. When she lifts her head, her eyes are shiny. “I’ve never seen you with that look on your face, not when it’s not for me.”
“Oh,” I say. I scratch my head. “What look?”
She jerks her thumb toward the living room. “When I walked in, you had your head on Friday’s knee and you looked so peaceful.”
Friday makes me feel anything but peaceful. “So you were jealous?”
She nods, nibbling on that lower lip again.
“You’re getting married, Kells,” I remind her again. I push off my dresser and walk toward her, then take her in my arms. I pull her gently against me and hold her. But this time, holding her isn’t about heat or passion. It’s about friendship. It has been weeks since we’ve slept together, and holding her this close to me doesn’t even make my dick get hard.
Kelly wraps her arms around my waist and holds on tight for a minute. I stroke her back until she steps away from me.
“You okay?” I ask.
“I’m jealous,” she says, and then she sniffles. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. We’re still us. We’re still Hayley’s parents. We always will be.” I look her in the eye. “Don’t mess up a good thing, okay?”
“You have a house full of people tonight,” she says. She rocks back and forth on her heels like she’s uncomfortable.
“I know.” I smile. “Isn’t it great?”
She shivers. “It’s torture,” she says. “Too noisy, too smelly, and too many Reeds all in one place.”
That was the problem with me and Kelly. All the things I loved…she didn’t love them back. She didn’t like having my family around, and she didn’t want to have much to do with them. “I love every minute of it.”
“How does Friday feel about it?” she asks.
I shrug. “She seems like she’s at home. She just got here today. She’s renting a room.”
Kelly nods. “I get it.”
“What do you want from me, Kelly?” I ask on a heavy sigh.
“I guess I wanted everything to stay the same,” she says. But then she grins. “I know it can’t, though. I’m getting married.”
“You want me to walk you down the aisle?” I ask. I’m only half joking.
“Maybe,” she says. “That would be pretty fitting.”
“I’m open to it.”
She smiles at me. Finally. “We’ll always be friends, right?” she asks.
“The best kind.”
Suddenly, my door opens, and Hayley runs into the room. I reach down and scoop her up. She has icing all over her fingers and smears it across my shirt. I grab her hands and hold them out. “Has Sam been feeding you cupcakes?” I ask.
She shakes her head and grins. “He said to tell you no, it wasn’t him.”
Kelly snickers.
“Not funny,” I say to her, but I’m grinning, too. I put Hayley down and pop her gently on the bottom. “Go wash your hands.” She runs out of the room.
“I didn’t love you enough,” Kelly says. “I hated the noise and never getting to be alone.”
“I know.”
“I’m glad you didn’t let me break you guys up,” she says.
“I couldn’t.” They’re all I had until her. And they’ll be here long after she’s gone. I knew it then, and I know it now. What we had couldn’t last. But we got a wonderful daughter out of it. “I’m sorry,” I say.
“Sorry I freaked out,” she says quietly.
“It’s okay,” I say, even though it’s not. “We’ll find our way.”
She points to my shirt. “Hayley got you dirty.”
I pull a clean T-shirt from a rack in my closet, and Kelly walks out of my room. I lift my shirt over my head and put the new one on, still tugging it down as I walk out of my bedroom.
“You want to stay for some pizza?” I ask Kelly. I do like her. Just not the same way I used to.
She shakes her head. “Not tonight. Some other time?” she asks. She winks at me.
“Anytime,” I say.
She kisses Hayley good-bye and waves to my brothers. They don’t really like her so they barely give her the time of day. She doesn’t care.
When she’s gone, I look over and see Friday on the couch. I walk over to sit down at her feet, just like I was before, but she looks me in the eye and says, “Don’t even think about it.”
She looked so peaceful before Kelly got here. Now she’s not. Now she’s not peaceful at all. I’m afraid to push it because I get the feeling that if she got her fingertips near my neck now, she’d use those hands to choke me.
What the fuck did I do?
Friday
I am not a fan of Kelly’s. Never have been. Probably never will be. And I like her even less when I see her coming out of Paul’s room while he’s still pulling his clothes back on. Fuck her.
I look away from Paul with a huff in my breath. He leans down next to my head from behind the couch like he’s going to whisper in my ear. But I put up my hand and push against his nose with the flat of my palm.
“Oh!” Pete cries. He jumps to his feet. “That counts! That so counts!” He points to Friday and then to my nose. “She just hit you in the fucking nose, man,” he shouts. He high-fives Sam, who’s grinning like an idiot.
I rub my nose. “She didn’t hit me in the nose.”
“Trust me,” she says, “if I hit him, he would know it.” He shoots me a glare.
Paul leans toward me again. “You could tell me what I did wrong,” he says quietly, while his brothers are still placing bets and catcalling about my little shove to his nose.
I lean closer to him and sniff. I expect to smell sex on him, but I just smell fresh, clean male. Fresh, clean, hot-as-hell man. Hmm.
“What did I do?” he asks. He leans his elbows on the couch, hanging over my shoulder. I can feel his warm breath on the side of my neck, and a shiver runs up my spine.
“Nothing,” I say.
“Nothing is always something in girl code,” he says. He smells like Michelob Light and Paul.
“What girl code is this of which you speak?” I ask.
“The one where you’re right and I’m wrong no matter how we look at it.” He grins. “Talk to me, Friday.” He leans closer, and his lips touch the shell of my ear. “What did I do wrong?”
I grunt and cross my arms.
“That’s it, then,” he says. “You forced me to do it.”
He stands up, stretches, and cracks his knuckles.
“Forced you to do what?” I ask.
“To take matters into my own hands,” he says. He reaches down and scoops me up in his arms.
“Paul!” I screech. “Put me down! Right now!” But all I can really do is grab his neck because he’s moving faster than I thought possible.
“The drawer!” his brothers all cry at once. They’re laughing like hell and high-fiving one another.
“Fuck the drawer,” he says.
“What drawer?” I ask. I am so confused.
“The drawer!” they yell, all pointing toward it. He stops and looks back at them.
“We’re just going to talk. Where the fuck do you think I’m going to put it?” he asks. “On my tongue?”
Pete looks at Sam and shrugs. “I’ve heard dumber ideas,” he says.
“Seems like overkill to me,” Sam replies. He shrugs, too.
Paul shakes his head and bumps his door open with his shoulder.
“That’s what they all say,” Matt calls. “Get a condom out of the drawer!”
“You have a condom drawe
r?” I ask.
“In the kitchen, yes.”
I must look dumbfounded because he goes on to explain.
“I raised four teenaged boys. I had to be creative about getting condoms in their hands. And on their dicks.”
Paul sets me down gently on his bed. Then he turns around and closes and locks his door behind us. “Let me out of here,” I grit out. I scurry across the bed like a crab.
“Not until you talk to me.” He starts to pace from one side of the room to another.
“I can’t fucking believe you brought me in here right after you brought her in here,” I bite out. “Of all the fucking nerve, Paul Reed.” I stand up and brush the hair from my forehead. “If you think you’re going to get me between your dirty fucking sheets, you have another think coming!” I point my finger at him. “Fuck you, Paul.” My breaths are heaving as though I ran a five-minute mile. He comes forward and traps my wrists in his fists. He’s strong. I knew it, but I have never really felt it. He holds me tightly.
“I didn’t fuck her,” he says. He jerks me gently, which makes me fall into him. “Look at me,” he says. He’s still holding my wrists, with my front plastered against his.
“I don’t want to,” I pout.
He chuckles, so I try to strike out at him, but he still holds my wrists. I could get free if I wanted to. I know that much about him. But I really don’t want to. Mainly because I’m starting to think my perception of what happened was wrong.
“Stop laughing,” I say.
“I didn’t fuck her. She wanted to read me the riot act because she was jealous. That’s all. We talked. She sniffled a couple of times, and I hugged her. That’s it.”
“Then why were you pulling on a new shirt?”
“Because Hayley smeared my other one with icing.”
“Kelly was jealous?” I ask. My voice is so quiet I can barely hear it. But the tight fist of my own jealousy that was wrapped around my heart eases a little bit.
“She was.”
“Why?” My voice is still small.
“Apparently, when I had my head on your knee, I looked peaceful.”
“You felt peaceful,” I murmur.
“Yes, I did,” he says. “I like having you close to me. I like it a lot.” He heaves in a sigh and says on an exhale, “Probably more than I should.”
“I like it, too,” I say.
He lets my wrists go and brackets my face with his hands. He tips my chin up with gentle thumbs and looks into my eyes. His are blue, so blue they’re almost gray. They’re like a cool pond on a hot summer day. I could fall into them and stay there forever.
His breath brushes across my lips. “I really like you,” he says.
I grab his wrists this time, because if I don’t hold on to something I’ll fall over. My knees never wobble like this. “I like you, too,” I whisper again. I look from his eyes to his mouth and back, hoping he’ll just shut up and kiss me.
“Do you trust me?” he asks.
“I don’t trust anyone,” I admit.
“Why not?” His thumbs sweep back and forth over my cheeks.
“Because most people aren’t trustworthy.” My gut clenches when his eyes flash. That leaves him with questions, and they’re not questions I want to answer.
“Will you tell me the story about why you feel that way sometime when we’re alone?” he asks. He’s still staring into my eyes.
“Probably not.”
He chuckles.
“Paul,” I say quietly.
“What?” he whispers back.
“Are you going to break my heart?” I look into his eyes because I think I might find the truth there, if there is such a thing.
“No,” he says. His voice is strong and clear.
I hear a voice through the crack in the door say, “Ask him if he promises!”
“What the fuck?” Paul says, tossing his head back. He opens the door, and Pete and Sam fall into the room. They land on top of one another.
“Don’t you have better things to do?” Paul asks, staring down at the two of them in a heap.
They look at one another. “Not really.” They start to lumber to their feet, and Paul walks out of the room.
Sam wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Ask him if he promises,” he says.
“What does that even mean?”
“When Mom died, we asked Paul if it would all be all right and he promised it would. It was,” Sam says.
Pete goes on to say, “And when Dad left, we asked again if it was going to be all right, if we’d make it by ourselves. And we did…because Paul promised we could.”
Fuck. My gut clenches. “I wouldn’t want him to waste a promise on me.” I try to laugh it off, but they don’t think it’s funny.
“Sometimes, all you need is a promise so you can keep going,” Sam says. “If you need a promise, ask for it. He’ll say yes or no.”
“I don’t need a promise.”
“Yes, you do.” Sam stares at me.
I break free of him with a shove and walk back out into the living room. Cody and Garrett are side by side, talking to Matt and Sky. Their daughter Mellie runs through the room, and Matt sticks out and arm, scooping her up and flipping her upside down as she squeals. Her shirt falls down, showing her belly, and Matt blows a raspberry there. “Daddy!” she squeals.
Matt visibly melts every time he hears that word. He grins and hugs her so tightly that she squeaks.
I look at Seth, but he just smiles and shakes his head at their antics.
I sit down beside Garrett, and he leans over and presses his lips to my forehead. “You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, leaning into his kiss. “I’m fine.”
“That was kind of hot,” Garrett says. “I might get Cody to reenact that carry-you-off scene with me later.”
Cody shakes his head. “Something tells me it wouldn’t have the same effect.” He grins.
Probably not. He’d have to be a tatted-up, sexy blond hunk of man meat named Paul Reed to make it work. Paul settles at my feet and pulls my foot into his lap. He spends the next hour picking on his brothers while he draws tender circles on my inner ankle. I have never felt such an intimate touch. I’ve had sex with men and not felt this close to them. What the fuck is that about?
Paul
I like Cody and Garrett. I don’t particularly like that their baby could be growing inside Friday, mainly because it makes me jealous as hell, but I like them as people. They’re funny and kind and so obviously in love. They’re going to be good parents. Would it be terrible for me to admit that I hope the insemination didn’t take? It probably would, so I keep that to myself.
On the one hand, I am really happy they have a chance at building their family. But on the other, I wish it were my fucking baby inside her. I want to see her get fat and cranky with my child growing in her body. I want to share those moments with her, and I don’t know if I can do that when she’s pregnant with somebody else’s kid. I doubt there are any rules around that, no book I can read to tell me what’s right and wrong. I want to win her, but I don’t know if I can play the game while she’s growing a life.
Cody and Garrett shake hands with me at the door, and Garrett pulls me into his chest for a quick man hug and a thwack on my back. “Take care of her, okay?” he whispers.
“You got it,” I say back. I want to take care of her every day. All day.
He hugs Friday and says to her, “Remember, no orgasms.”
What? I look from him to her and back, and her face colors.
Garrett just smiles, and he leaves hand in hand with Cody.
“Did you like them?” she asks as the door closes behind them. She leans against it for a second and takes a deep breath. My brothers all left one by one with their girls, except for Sam, and he just went to bed. Matt and Seth had to carry Joey and Mellie to the car because they fell asleep in Hayley’s bed.
Hayley pops her head out of her room, scrubs her eyes, and toddles over to me. S
he looks up at me, sleepy-eyed. She’s so damn cute in her frilly jammies that it makes my chest ache sometimes just to look at her. I force myself to stop and take mental pictures of her so I won’t forget these moments. I stop time in my head—click!—and try to remember the frame for a while. She won’t be this little forever.
“You going to tell Friday good-bye, too?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Friday is going to spend the night.”
“You having a sleepover?” Her little brow furrows. She blinks her big blue eyes at Friday and grabs on to my leg.
“Friday is going to stay here for a while. She’s going to sleep in Matt’s bed, since no one is using it.” I run a hand down her silky blond hair. “That okay with you?”
She nods but looks up at me skeptically. “She’s not going to sleep with you?”
Friday laughs but bites her lips together when I look up at her. Sorry, she mouths.
“She’s going to sleep in her own room, in her own bed, with her door locked.”
Friday’s eyes open wide. I am? she mouths. I nod, and she looks down at Hayley. “I am!” she says as though she’s excited about it.
“You going to tell her a bedtime story?” Hayley asks.
Friday
Paul swipes a hand across his smile. “Probably not.”
Hayley slides her hand into mine and says, “You can come and listen to mine.” She tugs my fingers so I follow her into her bedroom. I stand there, not at all sure where I’m supposed to go.
Paul sits down on the bed with his back against the headboard. “Which book?” he asks.
Hayley points to one, and I look around the room. I don’t know where to go because she doesn’t have any furniture aside from her bed and her toy chests, so I sit down on the carpet beside her bed and lean against it. My head is near Paul’s knee and his feet are crossed, pointed toward the end of the bed. He’s taking up a lot of space, and Hayley snuggles into her covers with a stuffed rabbit in her arms.
Paul opens the book and starts to read about a bull named Ferdinand. It makes me smile, hearing him read to his daughter. He loves her so much that I’m a little bit jealous. Not because he loves his daughter, but because I feel like I missed out on having anyone love me like that.