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  around and made some sort of animal sound as he settled on the

  couch.

  “You’ll have to excuse Bob,” Demetri said, his back to me as

  he cooked some sauce on the stove. “Ever since I’ve been clean, I’ve

  been driving him crazy. He has to go to the taffy store with me

  every day. I think he’s gained ten pounds.”

  “Which begs the question.” I turned toward Bob and smiled.

  “How much taffy does one have to eat in order to gain ten

  pounds?”

  “Ooo, a story problem.” Demetri threw his free hand into

  the air. “Love those! Here, let me figure it out. Bob how much do

  you weigh?”

  Silence.

  “Bob, stop ignoring me.”

  Silence again.

  “Bob!” This time Demetri yelled his name so loud, I almost

  covered my ears. “I’ll let you watch TV by yourself tonight.”

  “Three hundred and five,” came Bob’s swift reply.

  Demetri turned toward me and shook his head. “It’s almost

  too easy, poor guy.” He wiped his hands on a towel and leaned

  forward against the counter, making eye contact with me. My

  stomach flipped.

  “If Bob tries five pieces of candy a day, and each piece of

  candy weighs roughly two ounces and…” His eyes glazed over,

  and his head moved, nearly touching my lips. “Are you wearing

  makeup?”

  “I, ugh.” I ducked behind my hands and covered my face.

  “No, no don’t.” Demetri ran around the side of the breakfast

  bar and pulled me into a hug. I still tried to cover my face. “Lyss,

  let me see you.”

  I shook my head. Why had I tried to look good today? I felt

  so stupid. Was I really doing my makeup and hair for him now?

  “Lyss.” Demetri’s voice rumbled. “Take your hands away

  before I kiss you in front of Bob and start taking your clothes off.”

  I yelped and pulled my hands away from my face. He

  leaned in and kissed me anyway.

  “Sorry, couldn’t help it.” He grinned and ran his thumb

  down the side of my jaw. “God, you’re beautiful.”

  What’s a girl to say to that?

  Demetri seemed mesmerized as he tilted his head and

  examined my face, turning my chin this way and that, and then he

  ran his fingers through my hair. “Does it always feel like this?”

  “Like what?” I was breathless.

  “Silk.” He exhaled and threaded it between his fingers

  before closing his eyes and smelling my hair. “I think you’re trying

  to kill me.”

  “By washing my hair?” I croaked.

  “By being too damn perfect.” With a curse he released me,

  and the happy smile plastered itself comfortably back on his face.

  Demetri grabbed a few plates.

  “Time to eat.”

  Abrupt subject change, but okay. I was uncomfortable with

  his attention anyway. Nobody had called me pretty since the day

  Brady died.

  It was getting harder and harder to remember the way his

  face looked when he pulled the truck over and kissed me hard on

  the mouth.

  “You’re perfect, little seal, so perfect.” His tongue trailed down my

  neck. Giggling, I pushed him away.

  “Brady! We’re going to be late for the game! Come on, we need to

  go.”

  “Sorry.” He smiled unapologetically. “Okay, fine, I’m not sorry,

  but everyone’s going to be late, girl. Look at this weather.”

  The rain was coming down in sheets, which was typical for

  Seaside. We had been on our way to Lincoln City for the weekend football

  game, in which, of course, Brady was starting quarterback.

  I clenched his hand and sighed. Life was perfect. I had the perfect

  boyfriend. He was getting a full ride to Boise State next fall, where he’d

  start as their quarterback. Nobody could understand why he would choose

  such a small state school. But I loved Brady for it. He wanted to be close to

  family and knew the importance of being part of a football team that was

  about the team and the game more than the stars. And Boise State was

  that team. I admired him so much.

  “I love you.” I had said it without thinking.

  Brady put the car into drive, but before he pulled out he turned

  toward me. “Good, because we’re getting married.”

  “Um, I’m sixteen,” I pointed out laughing.

  He grinned then reached over for another kiss. “I’ll wait.”

  I bit my lip and looked away, totally fighting the urge to clap my

  hands and shout from the window that I loved the most amazing guy in

  the world.

  “We should go.” He winked and pulled out into traffic.

  Then everything went black.

  “Lyss? Are you okay?”

  I shook my head. I hated it when I daydreamed like that.

  Well, technically it wasn’t a daydream, it was a nightmare. But still.

  I tried to smile even though my throat felt like it was closing up.

  “I’m sorry, what did you say?” My lower lip quivered.

  A hot plate of food sat in front of me. Demetri was to my

  left. “You know what?” He pushed his food away. “I’m not that

  hungry yet, why don’t we take a walk on the beach?”

  I nodded. I don’t know how he knew it, but I needed to get

  out of that house. I needed to breathe in more air. I needed to feel

  the salty wind against my face.

  Demetri gripped my hand and pulled me through the house.

  Our entire walk to the beach was silent.

  Once we reached the water, Demetri spoke. “Want to talk

  about it?”

  I shook my head.

  “That bad?” He put his arm around me. I tucked my head

  into his shoulder and nodded. I couldn’t trust myself to speak.

  “I wish I could do more than say I’m sorry, Lyss. But know

  that I am. I don’t know what just happened back there, but you

  looked like you saw a ghost. If I was smart like Dr. Murray, I’d say

  you need to bleed your feelings all over the place, but shit…” His

  arm tightened. “I’m not a doctor, and I know that it hurts like hell

  when you’re going through something that no one else

  understands.”

  I snorted, typical response. “Really, Demetri?” I pulled away

  from him and stared hard. He had the world at his feet! He was

  beautiful, gorgeous — everything a girl could want. He had money,

  he had fame, he had it all. I didn’t, and he was going to sit here and

  tell me that he knew?

  “You know nothing.” I bit off. “You’re just some spoiled

  rock star who can’t handle the pressure of life. You escape through

  alcohol and drugs and if what everyone says is true, you tried to

  kill yourself. Yeah, you’re right. You know exactly what it’s like to

  feel loss.”

  Demetri took a step back, hurt etched across his face. “So

  that’s it? You’re going to put me in that category? Write me off like

  everyone else in town?”

  I sighed. “Look, Demetri, I’m not trying to say your pain

  isn’t real, but it’s self-inflicted. All of it.”

  Demetri’s eyes closed. He ran his hands through his hair and

  cursed. I hated hurting him, but maybe
it was better this way. We

  were from different worlds. He didn’t know pain like I knew pain.

  There was no way.

  “Fine.” His voice was hollow. “Let’s just go eat.” He

  motioned for me to follow him back to the house and started

  walking in that direction, but I backed up and shook my head.

  “Lyss?”

  It would be too easy, so easy to walk into his arms and cry.

  To let him kiss my tears away and promise to be the one solid thing

  in my life.

  But I knew the ending to that tale.

  The guy didn’t end up riding in on a white horse. No, he left

  the world in a dark hole — never to rescue the fair damsel again. I

  wouldn’t allow myself to get close enough to feel that kind of pain

  again. My heart was already in pieces, and if Demetri put them

  back together again, I would always be fearful of it shattering into a

  million jagged pieces.

  “Lyss, come on. I promise we won’t even talk. Let’s just go

  eat.” His eyes pleaded with mine. I shook my head again.

  “It’s better this way.” I bit my lip. “You’ll see.”

  “Will I?” He shoved his hands in his pocket. “Think

  whatever you want of me, Lyss. But know, when I said I was your

  friend, I meant it. If you ever need me… for anything, you know

  where I am.”

  I almost ran to him, but I told my feet to stay planted.

  He walked a few steps then stopped and turned. “I won’t

  stop trying.”

  “You should.”

  He shrugged and offered a small smile. “What can I say? I’m

  a glutton for punishment, and you’re the first real friend I’ve ever

  had.”

  My heart was beating out of my chest. Why was he being so

  nice? And why, after hanging out one time, was he suddenly

  offering his shoulder for me to sob on? I didn’t need him — not

  now, not ever. Sharing hurt too bad, and I would rather die and

  join Brady in the cold hard ground than open up to someone who

  had the potential to hurt me as much as Demetri did.

  He pressed his lips together and sighed. “Look. I can tell you

  I’ve changed. I can spout crazy nonsense about how I feel different

  about you than I have any other girl. Hell, I’ve given that speech

  more times than I’m proud of. But I’m being honest here. I don’t

  know what type of crap you’ve got going on, and maybe you’re

  right, maybe I won’t understand. But take it from someone who

  knows. That shit will destroy you.” He swallowed and looked at

  the crashing waves before nodding his head. “I’m not going to

  push you. I’m not going to beg. Just know that I’ve changed. I’m

  not the man I used to be, I never want to be that guy again. I like

  you. I want to kiss you. Hell, I want to watch you eat spaghetti.

  Does that make me crazy? Probably. When you’re ready, if you

  ever are… you know where to find me. Night, Lyss.”

  With that he walked off.

  And I realized in that moment I was wrong about so many

  things. Because as the waves crashed against the sand, as I dug my

  nails into my hands, one truth kept screaming at me from

  somewhere I thought long dead.

  He already had a piece of my heart.

  And I was powerless to stop him.

  Chapter Twelve

  Demetri

  “So. Did you think about it?” Mrs. Murray was chewing her

  gum wildly behind her notepad. Ever so often I would hear her

  swallow and then pop the gum. I think I made her stressed when I

  was in one of my moods.

  “Yeah.” I closed my eyes. I was so damn confused. It seemed

  no matter how careful I thought I was around Alyssa, she was

  always running off. Or getting that weird look on her face. Like she

  wasn’t even present, but somewhere else entirely.

  “What’s her story?” The first thing I asked when I plopped

  down on the floor the next week for my counseling session.

  Mrs. Murray had smiled. “I can’t tell you that.”

  And we had sat in silence for the last ten minutes, until

  finally, she mentioned being the group facilitator again for group

  therapy.

  “I don’t know.” I pulled the toothpick out of my mouth and

  sighed. “I still don’t know if I’d do a good job.”

  “What if I told you a certain girl was going to be attending

  the first session?”

  My head snapped up to attention. “Alyssa?”

  Mrs. Murray rolled her eyes. “Yes, but remember, during

  session times she’s off limits. Besides…” She took a deep breath.

  “There’s a lot about her that you don’t know.”

  “Tell me about it,” I mumbled. She’d been ignoring my

  phone calls all weekend. When I stopped by her parents’ store they

  always had some sort of lame excuse or said she was using the

  bathroom.

  Either the girl had some serious bathroom issues, or she was

  gone. Either way, I was persistent.

  This afternoon I even stopped by before my session. I knew

  she was working, but when I went into the store, all she did was

  hand me three pieces of taffy and began helping another customer.

  I took the taffy and walked out.

  They were burning a hole in my pocket, but she had taken

  the joy from that stupid habit. I had resorted to chewing the hell

  out of toothpicks and eating lollipops like it was my job. I needed

  something in my mouth, and I knew if I stopped eating candy or

  sucking on things, I would revert back to old habits, especially with

  the stress of Alyssa on my chest.

  “When’s the first session?” I asked, twiddling the toothpick

  between my fingers.

  “Tomorrow night.”

  “What do I say?”

  Mrs. Murray smiled and handed me a packet. “Everything’s

  in here. You’ll do great, I promise.”

  “What if I would have said no?” I took the packet from her

  hands.

  Mrs. Murray shrugged. “Let’s just say I know you better

  than you know yourself.”

  “And that’s not a creepy thing for a shrink to say…”

  I scratched my head and opened up the packet. Worksheets

  tumbled out, as well as nametags for the members to fill out. It

  reminded me of my AA group info I used to take back home a

  while back.

  “Trial run?” I pleaded, giving her my best smile, making

  sure to remove the toothpick so the full force of my dimples was

  present.

  She arched an eyebrow and shook her head. “Nope. You

  either commit now or I find someone else.”

  Damn the woman drove a hard bargain. “Fine.” I cursed.

  “But no autographs, no picture taking, and I swear I’ll sue the first

  person who says anything about my personal life.”

  “Easy.” Mrs. Murray pulled out another piece of paper.

  “Every member has to sign a gag order. If they talk about you or

  each other, they’ll be liable.”

  “Good.” I took the paper and thrust it in the folder with the

  rest of my papers.

  “Ten minutes,” Mrs. Murray reminded me. “But you can

  leave early if you like, take some time to go over the
information.”

  I didn’t want to admit that I was waiting for Alyssa. But

  Mrs. Murray had her Jedi mind tricks. “She switched session times,

  Demetri.”

  I laughed bitterly and clamped down on the toothpick.

  “Right.”

  Mrs. Murray stood, meaning it was my cue to leave. I took

  the papers and put them under my arm.

  “Demetri?”

  I stopped and turned around.

  “For what it’s worth, I think you’re good for her.”

  I licked my lips and looked down at the ground. “Nah, I’m

  probably not good for anyone, but I wanted to be good for her. I

  wanted it really bad.”

  “You still can be.” Mrs. Murray placed her hand on my

  shoulder.

  I shook my head. “You can lead a horse to water, Doc…”

  She tilted her head in agreement, and I left.

  ****

  By the time Saturday night came around, I was a nervous

  wreck. I read through some of the profiles of the group members,

  mainly just information on their ages and stuff. But there was a

  picture next to each name, and that stupid picture made me

  nervous as hell. It meant I had to talk to a person about things I

  hated talking about.

  What if nobody showed?

  What if nobody cared?

  Or worse, what if they just came to make fun of me? I had

  nothing to offer them.

  I pulled the lollipop out of my mouth and focused on the

  door, willing people to come in. Mrs. Murray had decided to have

  me host the group meeting at my house instead of hers. She

  thought it would feel less professional.

  I looked around at the modern furniture and expensive

  touches. Well, it felt less something.

  Throwing up was not an option, but my stomach kept doing

  flips.

  I put the sucker back in my mouth and focused on the

  watermelon flavor as it trickled down my tongue.

  The doorbell rang. I nearly dropped my sucker.

  This was it.

  I walked to the door and opened it.

  A man, who seriously could have been Bob’s twin, walked

  in. Tattooed sleeves covered both his arms. He wore a beanie and

  looked like it would bring him the greatest pleasure to end my life.

  “Hi.” I choked, nearly dropping my sucker again. “I’m

  Demetri.”

  The girl at his side sighed and leaned against him.

  “Holly,” the guy grumbled and pulled her flush against him.

  They looked like they were about the same age as I. I opened the