“We come here every time my parents are in town,” Palmer said, reaching for his wine glass. “Which is why they agreed to serve us this incredible bottle of Chardonnay.”
“It is tasty,” Lexa agreed, lifting her glass as well.
“I’m more of a red wine person, myself,” Conrad said, taking a bite of his steak.
“Well, then, I’ll have to become one too,” Lexa said. She nudged his arm with hers flirtatiously and smiled up at him.
“They have some incredible reds here as well,” Palmer offered, crossing his arms on the table. “The owner took my father and me on a tour of the wine cellar last summer. The whole thing really is fascinating. Wine collecting is definitely something I want to get into one day. Well, that and autographed baseballs. I already have a good collection of those going, thanks to my dad.”
“Really? Who’ve you gotten?” Conrad asked.
Ariana cracked a smile as Palmer ran through the list, which was apparently impressive, if Conrad’s oohs and aahs were any indication, but in the back of her mind she was envisioning a den full of sports paraphernalia—dirty jerseys encased in glass, banged-up baseballs set on custom shelves as if they had the same worth as diamonds. The whole idea made her skin crawl.
And why had she never noticed how much Palmer talked about his father? It was almost like he was name-dropping his own dad, showing off about the perks he could get because of who his father was. Jasper would never do anything so gauche.
Stop it, she told herself, placing her fork down and focusing her attention on the conversation. Stop thinking about Jasper.
“What about you, Lex?” Conrad asked, resting his wrists on the edge of the table as he looked at her. “What would you collect?”
“She just collects trophies and ribbons,” Ariana put in proudly. “Have you seen her shelves full of equestrian awards, Connie? The girl’s a natural.”
“She’s overexaggerating,” Lexa said, blushing nonetheless.
“You know, I have seen those trophies, but I’ve yet to see you ride,” Conrad said, turning his seat slightly toward Lexa. “When can we do that?”
“You should come to my family’s ranch in the spring,” Lexa said, her eyes sparkling. “I could show you a few moves.”
Ariana was feeling more and more secure by the second. Flirting? Planning for the future? All of this was a very good sign.
Of course, she’d thought she’d seen a few good signs during their shopping excursion the week before, but Lexa had still backslid after that. The question was, how was she going to keep Lexa under control for good? Was she ever really going to feel truly safe as long as she shared this potentially life-ending secret with Lexa?
“You know, Ana, you should come visit me at home this summer, too,” Palmer said, reaching for her hand under the table. He clasped it and brought it up to rest on his thigh. “I’d love to show you around Phoenix.”
Phoenix. Blah. Could there be any place on earth more unappealing in the dead of summer than the middle of the desert? Ariana wondered where Jasper spent his summers. Hadn’t he said something about his father owning real estate all over the world? And now she did too. Maybe the two of them could go vacation-home-hopping around the globe together.
“Ana?” Palmer prodded.
Ariana blinked, dragging herself back from a gondola in Venice, wrapped in Jasper’s arms.
“What? Oh, sorry. Sure. Of course. I’d love to see Phoenix,” she lied.
“Will you guys excuse me for a second?” Lexa asked, rising.
Both Conrad and Palmer got up from their chairs, well-trained gentlemen that they were. Lexa sauntered off toward the bathroom. The second she was out of earshot, Conrad leaned across the table.
“She keeps bringing up Lillian,” he whispered to Palmer. “Do you think that has something to do with all the crazy hand washing?”
Ariana’s blood froze in her veins. “What has she been saying about Lillian?” she asked, even though she was appalled by the fact that Lexa’s boyfriend started talking about her behind her back the second she was gone.
“Nothing in particular,” Conrad said, lifting a shoulder. “But she keeps reminiscing about the girl. As if they were lifelong friends or something. We only knew her for a month.”
“Maybe she’s wigged about Lillian leaving so abruptly,” Palmer said, looking off in the direction of the bathrooms. He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe . . . maybe she found out something about Lily’s mystery family that she hasn’t told us! Maybe she doesn’t think that Lillian left because she couldn’t handle the workload.”
“What do you mean?” Ariana asked, breathless. She could barely believe she was having this conversation.
“Maybe she suspects foul play,” Palmer said.
Ariana laughed, but the sound was shrill. “Foul play? What is this, Harriet the Spy?”
Palmer turned up his palms. “We all thought it was sketchy that we couldn’t find anything out about Lillian’s family. Maybe they were connected. Like to the mob or something.”
“Whatever you say,” Ariana said, rolling her eyes in an exaggerated way. She hoped they couldn’t see her heart pounding through her flimsy dress material.
“Whatever,” Palmer said, frustrated. “All I know is, if that’s the case, I’m glad the girl’s gone. The last thing we need is to be friends with someone who’s caught up in a scandal.”
Ariana felt an uncomfortable twist in her gut. “Why? What’s the big deal?”
Palmer took a sip of his wine and placed the glass down next to his bread plate. “It’s just that I don’t think I could ever be friends with someone who’d let themselves get involved with stuff like that.”
Ariana felt as if she’d been slapped. “Sometimes it’s not the person’s fault, you know. Sometimes the situation is out of their control. Stuff happens.”
Palmer and Conrad both snorted laughs. “That’s the lamest excuse in the book.”
Lexa returned to the table at that moment, all smiles, and the guys greeted her happily, as if nothing had been discussed in her absence other than Ariana and Palmer’s lame upcoming trip to Phoenix. Ariana took a long swig of her wine and sat back, annoyed. She couldn’t believe Palmer could be so judgmental, could dismiss her argument out of hand like that. She knew better than anyone that sometimes bad things happened to good people. If he didn’t understand that, then what kind of person was she dating?
As Palmer launched into the list of things they could do together in Phoenix—catch a Diamondbacks game, go for a hike in the desert, see a concert at Red Rocks, where his dad had a permanent box—Ariana couldn’t help wondering what Jasper was doing right then.
And how much more fun he was having doing it.
“So . . . what are you working on, exactly?” Ariana asked Soomie as she and Lexa stepped into their friend’s room after returning from their double date.
Soomie blew out a frustrated sigh and dropped a hole punch on the floor with a clatter. She sat in the center of her wool throw rug, surrounded by strips of pale wood, bottles of glue, scissors, an X-Acto knife, and a set of blueprints. Her normally sleek hair was back in a messy bun, but half of it had fallen out in stringy clumps around her face.
“She’s supposed to make a balsa-wood plane for physics class,” Maria replied. She was leaning back against the desk chair, her arms crossed over her chest. “I think Mr. Crandal has finally found the project to stump the great Soomie Ahn.”
“He has not,” Soomie snapped. “I don’t care if I have to stay up all night. This thing will win.”
Maria raised her hands in surrender as Ariana and Lexa exchanged disturbed and amused glances. Soomie reached for a section of balsa wood that appeared to be fashioned into a plane’s wing. Her finger shook, and Ariana saw that her palm was sweaty. This project was obviously stressing out Soomie.
“Do you need any help?” Lexa asked.
Soomie shot her a look that could have killed Frankenstein’s monster in his tracks.
“Don’t ask her that,” Maria said, shaking her head. “I nearly lost a finger asking her that.”
Soomie returned to her work, and Maria sighed. “Let’s talk about something else. How was your date?”
“It was incredible,” Lexa said, giddily looking to Ariana for confirmation. All Ariana could muster was a tight smile. “I thought it was going to be tense, but I had a great time.”
“Yeah,” Ariana said. “Me too.”
“Ow! Sonofa—Shit!” Soomie cursed through clenched teeth.
Ariana looked up. There was blood everywhere. Soomie held her wrist tightly, a serious slice right across her palm. She’d dropped the X-Acto knife on the floor, and her meticulous blueprints were now spotted with blood.
“Omigod! Soomie! What did you do?” Maria demanded.
She looked around wildly and grabbed a clean T-shirt out of Soomie’s laundry basket, where perfect stacks of folded clothes waited to be put away in the closet. Maria felt to her knees and wrapped the T-shirt around Soomie’s hand. It was soaked through almost instantly.
“We have to get her to the infirmary,” Ariana said as Maria helped a shaky Soomie to her feet.
“No!” Lexa blurted. She dropped the heavy frame on the floor, where it cracked into three pieces.
“What?” Maria and Ariana said in unison.
For the first time, Ariana got a look at Lexa. She clutched her hair at her temples with both hands, knotting up her brown tresses into two little rats’ nests. Her eyes were like tiny pinpricks as she stared at the bloodstained floor. Her skin was as pale and translucent as white gauze.
“Lex, it’s okay,” Soomie said weakly. “It’s just a little blood.”
“Come on, Lexa. Why don’t you sit down,” Ariana said, hoping against hope the girl would listen to her.
“No!” Lexa screamed “No no no no no!”
She turned around and ran. Ariana took one look at Maria—who supported Soomie around the waist, and Soomie, who was bent over and looking faint—then took off after Lexa.
This is not happening, Ariana told herself, rushing for the doorway as the tail of Lexa’s red coat disappeared around it. This is not happening. It’s all a bad dream, and any second I’ll wake up safe and happy in my bed.
“I have to get out of here!” Lexa shouted, tearing down the north hallway and pounding on the doors and walls as she went, like a wild woman. “I have to get out of here! I have to get out of here!”
“Lexa, stop!” Ariana shouted. She grabbed Lexa’s arm, and Lexa whirled around, slapping Ariana dead across the face. Her eye exploded in pain, as if it was being ripped from its socket. Ariana’s knees hit the floor as she held her shaking hand to her face. But still Lexa kept running
“What the hell is going on?” Tahira demanded, opening the door of her room. The moment she saw Ariana on the ground she stooped to help her up. “Ana! Are you okay?” Tahira’s roommate, Allison Rothaus, stepped tentatively into the doorway in pajama pants and a tank.
“Lexa has completely lost it,” Maria said, helping Soomie into the hall.
“Oh my God! What happened to you?” Allison asked Soomie.
“I have to get out of here!” Lexa screamed before anyone could answer. “I have to get out of here!”
Ariana couldn’t have agreed more. She had to get Lexa out of there before she said something, anything that might incriminate either of them.
Down in the lounge, Lexa started to pound on the plate-glass windows with both fists. A large pane rattled angrily as the reflections in its surface bent and contorted.
“Shit,” Tahira blurted. “If she breaks one of those windows . . .”
Ariana, Tahira, and Allison raced to the lounge, where Tahira made a move for Lexa’s arms.
“I wouldn’t do that if you want to keep all your teeth,” Ariana said, which made Allison freeze in her tracks.
“Don’t worry,” Tahira told her, holding out one hand flat. “I got this.”
She took Lexa’s right arm from behind, then ducked when Lexa whirled around. With the deftness of a karate black belt, Tahira grabbed Lexa’s left arm as well and held her two arms clasped together at the wrist.
“It’s okay, Lexa. It’s just me,” Tahira said in a loud but soothing voice.
“Let go of me!” Lexa raved, squirming like mad. “Let go! I have to get out of here!”
“Lexa, you don’t need to go anywhere,” Tahira said, keeping a firm grip on her with both hands and looking her directly in the eye. “You need to come sit down.”
Ariana hovered in the entryway, watching in awe as Tahira attempted to calm their friend. She had no idea Tahira was so strong.
“Why are you doing this to me?” Lexa whined, still trying to wrest herself out of Tahira’s grasp. “Why are you trying to hurt me?”
God, just shut up! Ariana screamed silently, her cheekbone still throbbing with pain while her eye stung. Shut up before you say something I can’t explain away. She clasped her forearm in her hand, squeezing with all her might in order to keep herself in check—to keep herself from lashing out in the name of self-preservation. There was nothing she could do right now. Not with all these people watching. But if she and Lexa had been alone right then . . . Ariana wasn’t entirely sure she would be able to control herself.
“No one’s trying to hurt you, Lex,” Ariana said, stepping forward. She slowly, carefully, put her arms around Lexa. “We’re your friends. We’re trying to help you.”
“My friends try to hurt me,” Lexa said, her voice turning meek. She looked down at the floor, letting Ariana and Tahira lead her over to one of the cushy leather couches. Together the three of them sat, but it wasn’t until Lexa rested her head on Ariana’s shoulder that Tahira finally released her.
“No one’s trying to hurt you, Lexa. I promise,” Ariana said, stroking Lexa’s hair. Lexa closed her eyes, and Ariana looked up at Soomie and Maria, who hovered in the door.
“You guys should go to the infirmary,” Ariana said. “I can take care of her.”
“You sure?” Maria asked.
“Yeah. Just go. Soomie’s not looking too well,” Ariana said. “No offense.”
Soomie shook her head slowly and swallowed. “None taken.”
The two girls shuffled off toward the elevator and Allison, probably feeling like an outsider among friends, silently returned to her room.
“What happened?” Tahira asked, standing up.
“I don’t know. Soomie cut herself, and Lexa completely freaked out,” Ariana said honestly.
“I guess some people can’t handle the sight of blood,” Tahira said.
“No, I guess not,” Ariana replied.
But most people fainted. Or threw up. Or walked out of the room. Lexa was acting as if she needed to be committed. She was acting even crazier than most of the women inside the Brenda T. Trumball Correctional Facility on their worst days. Why did this have to happen? Why now? She had thought Lexa was fine. But now it was clear that anything could set the girl off at any time. Suddenly Ariana felt completely and utterly defeated.
“Should we try to take her back to her room? Put her to bed?” Tahira suggested.
“Actually, maybe she should stay in my room for the night,” Ariana said, standing up straight. “Who knows when Maria will get back. I think someone needs to keep an eye on her.”
“You do have the extra bed,” Tahira pointed out, tilting her head. “Maybe a solid night’s sleep will be good for her. Why don’t you see if you can get her over there and I’ll go get her some pj’s.”
“Okay,” Ariana said. “Come on, Lex. You’re gonna stay in my room tonight, okay?” She stood up slowly, dragging a blinking Lexa with her.
“Okay,” Lexa replied, her voice a touch pouty.
Ariana slipped her arm around Lexa’s and shuffled her toward her room. Tahira went down the hall to Lexa’s room and let herself in. As soon as the she was gone, Ariana quickened her steps, got to her room, and closed the door be
hind her and Lexa.
“Lex, I’m going to give you something to help you sleep,” she said. She walked to her desk and extracted the small, orange bottle from the very back. Shaking out a couple of Valiums, she fumbled inside her mini-fridge for a bottle of water. “Here.”
“What is it?” Lexa asked, narrowing her eyes as she gazed at the small pills in Ariana’s palm.
“Just a little Valium so you can rest,” Ariana told her, dumping the pills into Lexa’s hand. “You need your sleep, right? Your mother said so, you said so. This is going to make you feel so much better.”
“Okay,” Lexa said. “I could really use some sleep.”
Then she popped the pills into her mouth and reached for the bottle of water. After a few quick slugs, she slumped a bit, her eyes closing halfway.
“See? You’re so tired,” Ariana said. “Why don’t you lie down?”
Lexa nodded twice, slowly. She started to sit down on Kaitlynn’s bed, but halfway there, her eyes flew open, and she popped up again, as if zapped by an electric shock.
“That’s her bed. I can’t sleep in her bed. I can’t. I can’t, Ana. I can’t!”
Ariana gritted her teeth and said a quick prayer for patience. “Okay! It’s okay!” she said to Lexa, gently taking her arm. “You don’t have to. You can sleep in my bed.”
The moment the words were out of her mouth, Lexa calmed down again. Ariana led her across the small room to the bed on the opposite side. Lexa lay down, resting her head on Ariana’s custom pillow. In about two seconds her eyes were closed, and ten seconds after that, she was snoring. Ariana knew that the Valium hadn’t had time to kick in, but she was sure that Lexa was exhausted. Maybe she’d just needed a little prodding to get to sleep. And once the Valium did kick in, it would keep her asleep. Maybe it would even make her feel more rested—more like herself—in the morning.
At least Ariana hoped it would. Because she wasn’t sure how much more of this particular Lexa she could take.
What am I going to do? What am I going to do?
Ariana glanced over at her bed, where Lexa snored deeply. Then her eyes trailed to her desk drawer. Inside were her many bankbooks. The keys to several safety deposit boxes that held untold millions’ worth of jewels. And the copy of her birth certificate. Her Emma Walsh birth certificate, the original of which was already in the mail to the passport agency with her rush order for a new passport. Ariana didn’t want to run. She’d created a life for herself here. A life she treasured.