CHAPTER TEN
BENNO ALMOST KNOCKED Sydney over as he stumbled against her.
“Oh, my God, you’ve been hit!” she cried, trying to support him with her own light weight.
Not that a bullet was enough to stop him. He righted himself, and, his grip even tighter now, continued to drag her forward until he jerked to a halt with a muttered curse.
“Careful,” he said softly. “Rocks.”
He slowed accordingly and veered to the right. Toward the sea. Sydney could hear the ocean’s curl as a wave slapped the shoreline. Though the fog was thick, she knew they were close to the water’s edge.
“Benno!”
Her protest cut off by a squeeze that practically numbed her hand, she allowed him to lead her over pebble strewn sand that eventually gave way to more solid stone. He slowed some, yet seemed to know exactly where he was going. Surely their attacker wouldn’t be foolish enough to follow blindly.
“You don’t have a flashlight in that monstrosity you call a purse, do you?” he whispered.
“As a matter of fact...”
They stopped. Sydney felt for her key ring, attached to which was a pencil-sized flashlight. Pulling the ring from the purse, she found and flicked on the thin beam which shone weakly, a ribbon softening the fog for a few yards. Even its modest light would help keep them safe. She lifted the shoulder strap and hooked the bag over her head and under one arm so she’d have both hands free.
They continued on, Benno leading her straight toward the sea.
Another breaker rolled in, soaking Sydney’s feet and ankles. Luckily, she was wearing canvas tie shoes with rubber soles that kept her fairly steady on the slippery rock. Benno slowed his stride to accommodate the rising water. Now it surged, engulfing her knees, slapping against her thighs, splashing her chest. The current eddied and sucked around her, as if trying to drag her away from Benno.
He held on tighter.
Remembering the dream in which she had drowned, Sydney felt panic rise in her breast. “Benno.” When he didn’t answer, she jerked on his arm before remembering he’d been hit.
He moaned. “Aah. What did you do that for?”
“Sorry. It’s just the water. My dream.”
“Trust me,” he grunted softly, through what sounded like clenched teeth.
When she heard muffled curses, Sydney surveyed the area behind them. A lightened area in the fog some distance away made her realize they were still being stalked and their pursuer had a flashlight of his own. A big flashlight whose beam could easily pin them if they didn’t hurry and find a place to hide. Despite her fear of the ocean, she allowed Benno to lead her further out into deeper water. Foam rushed over her hips and licked the channel between her breasts.
She took a steadying breath, clenched her jaw and said nothing.
When she was certain she couldn’t tolerate going any further, the water began to recede and the footing became more stable. They traveled over solid rock, the base of a sea stack which rose in a gentle incline. Benno squeezed her hand encouragingly. Clambering over or skirting boulders, they climbed inexorably higher and higher until they reached a shelf that narrowed to the left.
“Hug the rock face,” Benno instructed as he went first. “And move with me. Carefully.”
She followed him, all the while praying neither of them would lose their footing. Progress was slow but steady until they came to an area with a wider lip.
“We’re almost there,” he assured her. “We’ll have to climb up about six feet or so.”
“Blind?”
“Do you want him to find us?”
Fear countered her good sense. “All right. Where?”
Benno took the flashlight and showed her. Nerves taught, Sydney began the torturous ascent, his hand pressed in the middle of her back to steady her. Somehow, he followed with ease, though he had only one good arm which he was using to help her. She was having trouble making it with two.
A moment later, she almost panicked. “I can’t find any footing.”
Directly behind her, he flashed the light over the slick surface, stopping when the beam picked up a rocky protrusion. Her mouth went dry at the thought of her weight dislodging the tiny ledge, her body following the stone to be sucked up by the greedy waters below.
Hand flattened against her backside, Benno urged her on. “Up and over a few feet to the left,” he whispered, flashing the light so she could see what appeared to be an opening between boulders.
Praying, Sydney did as instructed, and only when she landed on the larger flat area in front of the entrance did she remember to breathe.
Then Benno was next to her, an arm across her back, pushing her into a crouched position.
“Here, take the flashlight. Watch your head and go. There’s a cave.”
“What if it’s not empty?”
“You won’t find anything too horrible inside. On the other hand, something horrible is waiting for you out here.”
Scouring the area before her with the light, Sydney found it to be free of unwelcome creatures. She braved the narrow mouth of the tunnel, stopping a few yards inside where she could stand upright. Something brushed her hair. She would have screamed if Benno hadn’t covered her mouth with his hand. Her light caught a fluttering bird, one of several taking shelter from the storm. Outside, splashing sounds made by human feet rather than an incoming wave pinpointed their pursuer as being within spitting distance.
Shooting distance, Sydney corrected herself.
The wait seemed interminable, but Benno pressed her into the damp cold wall, his hand eventually moving from her mouth to the side of her arm.
Sydney tried to relax, but between the danger outside and the danger within, she felt trapped.
Benno was so close... too close.
Five minutes went by...
Her nerves were ready to explode. Her skin felt seared where Benno touched her. His muscles were coiled, ready to spring him into action, while her breath became shallow, her heartbeat irregular.
Ten minutes...
The danger had heightened her senses, had removed the thin veil of pretense she’d kept between them. Benno stirred against her, obviously as uncomfortable as she, and yet he did not speak. She sensed he was focused on listening for any change in sound outside their shelter. She tried to focus as well, but memories of the kiss he’d taken from her earlier prompted all kinds of like thoughts.
Thoughts she didn’t want to own up to.
Maybe twenty minutes, she thought. Enough.
“Surely he’s gone by now,” Sydney finally said.
“We can take a look.”
But when they returned to the cave’s entrance, she realized the weather had worsened. Rain pounded rock. And the rush of the sea sounded closer as a wave broke with tremendous force against the sea stack, spraying them both not only with water but with tiny stones. Sydney raised a hand to protect her face.
“Tide is almost fully in,” Benno told her. “We’ll have to wait.”
“For what? To be drowned?”
“The water won’t rise this high.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve spent the night in this cave before,” he admitted. “More than once.”
“Recently?”
“Years ago.”
“Things could have changed.”
Sydney was bent on extricating herself from this situation as quickly as possible. She had no intention of spending the night in close quarters with Benno DeMartino. He was too tempting.
And she... from recent experience, Sydney knew she was too weak to resist.
She started to inch away from him. “I’m going to leave while I can.”
“No.” He caught her around the waist and dragged her backward.
“Benno.” Though Sydney struggled she was but a fly against his strength as he drew her back into the shelter of the tunnel and to the raised area they’d just left. “We could drown in here.”
“You??
?d drown out there for sure.” He sounded angry with her. “I know what I’m talking about. Trying to get back to shore in the fog and rain would be a dumb move any time.”
“We made it up here.”
“We were lucky, and we didn’t have a choice. But we have a choice now. And we’ve got high tide to boot. We’ll be safe inside the cave. Trust me.”
“I do trust you, though heaven knows why. You’re a walking mystery.” Afraid of more than the gunman who’d undoubtedly give up the search, Sydney was trying to start a fight, to give herself a reason to leave, to be safe. “I don’t know the first thing about you. Every time I try to figure you out a little, you put me off.”
“Maybe it’s time I told you about myself.”
“Oh, right.”
“If that’s what it’ll take to keep you safe, I’ll talk until the tide goes back out.”
He sounded sincere enough. And concerned. Sydney weakened. She would stay if for no other reason than to know more about her mysterious dark knight.
As if he realized she’d capitulated, he let go but took the flashlight from her. “Come on, there’s a larger chamber further inside.”
Using the beam to show her another low opening, he indicated she should proceed him. Not about to enter the dark now that there was no urgency, she repossessed the flashlight and shone it on the rocky walls of a larger chamber. Birds resting in nooks and crannies watched them. A few flitted across the cave as if frightened by the intrusion.
“Seems safe enough. Where are we, anyway?” she asked, practically getting to her knees to scoot inside.
“In the heart of The Sugar Loaf.”
She inspected the area as best she could. The remainder of a fire at one end had been wet by water seeping down the wall from an opening that would act as a chimney and draw out the smoke on a dry night.
“How did you know about this cave?”
“A misspent youth.”
He didn’t sound like he was joking. He sounded strange, actually, as if his memories were anything but positive. She wondered what had happened in this place to make him so tense.
“Too bad we can’t build a fire,” Benno said ruefully. “At least the place is mostly dry.”
But Sydney wasn’t. Her clothes were soaked. Now that the urgency of the chase had died, she was aware of her physical discomfort. Cold seeped to her very bones as she sat as far away from the wet area as possible. Removing her shoulder bag, she threw the key ring and flashlight into the pouch and set it down next to her. She huddled, arms around her knees, yet couldn’t stop herself from shivering.
Benno sprawled next to her, slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Sydney would have protested but for his natural warmth that almost made her forget their wet garments.
“Better?”
“Mm.” Her shivering subsided. “So talk. I want to hear about that misspent youth.”
“You may be disillusioned.”
“I have a fertile imagination. I was in advertising, remember? I may be disappointed.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I was what my teachers called a hellion.” He laughed, but the sound was bitter. “Actually, the entire town called me that or worse.”
“Even your parents?”
Benno lapsed into a silence that made Sydney feel awkward. And his muscles coiled as they had earlier. Obviously, she’d struck a nerve.
“My mother ran out on us when I was five,” he told her. “Pa and me. She just up and went. We never knew where. Or why for that matter. Pa said she’d always been restless and that she’d gone off in search of bright lights and fantasies. He promised she’d be back once she got it out of her system, but he was wrong.”
Sydney was appalled. What kind of a mother would intentionally leave her child? She wished she could see his face, that he could see hers. Communicating in the dark was so unsatisfying. Yet, perhaps for him, the sense of anonymity made it easier to talk.
“You never heard from your mother again?”
“Never. Pa couldn’t get over her leaving like that. First he made the excuses. Then he started drinking... started losing jobs, one after another... stopped coming home some nights.”
“He left you alone when you were five?”
“Seven. Maybe eight. I don’t really remember,” Benno told her. “By the time I was ten or so, Pa started disappearing for days, sometimes for weeks. That left me with a lot of time on my hands.”
“Which you didn’t use to your best advantage.”
“You got that straight. I was angry, and I found ways to entertain myself. Only other people didn’t think I was so amusing.”
Sydney remembered the references he’d made to knowing how to steal a car. And he’d had no difficulty in getting into Fox’s apartment. He’d learned a lot more during his father’s absences than merely fending for himself.
“So you got into fights?” she asked.
“Every kid gets into fights. I started them. I lied, cheated and stole. Getting caught didn’t stop me.”
“What did?”
Benno fell silent and she knew she’d struck another nerve. The anxiety gripping him was evident, even in the dark. His body told her what he wasn’t.
Trying to lift his mood, she asked, “So what’s the dumbest thing you ever did?”
“Getting too close to the wrong person.”
She sensed that had been the wrong question. “Someone who got you into trouble?”
“Not exactly. I was able to do that all on my own.”
He was becoming terse and she was afraid he would resort to his old avoidance techniques if she pushed too far. She slid an arm across his chest in an effort to be comforting. He relaxed a bit and she decided to reroute the subject to one more safe.
“Does everyone in Stone Beach know about this cave?”
“Probably, though I’d wager not many people have actually been up here.”
“I can relate to that. If I’d been able to see better, I probably wouldn’t be here. Facing a gun might have looked safer. Who showed you the entrance?”
“I found it on my own when I was twelve.”
“You just woke up one morning and decided you were going to find the cave?”
“You could call it an act of desperation. The reason seems silly now.”
Since she couldn’t seem to hit on a safe topic, she decided to dive back in. “Having someone to talk to helps.”
“So you’ve told me.” He barely hesitated before going on. “I’d been hanging around the drugstore, reading magazines. I tried to steal them. The owner took after me and chased me down the street, yelling. He said I was worthless and warned me never to come back into his store again. Some of my classmates saw the episode and you can imagine their reaction.”
“Children can be cruel,” Sydney said, knowing first hand exactly how so.
“I was furious. I hated the store owner, hated the town, hated Pa for leaving me alone. I was going to show them all by doing something they couldn’t.”
“By finding the cave on your own?” she asked.
“You got it. I had some stupid notion that I would be the first. I was going to make this cave my secret hideaway. And when the other kids found out, they’d all want to be my pals.”
Sydney felt a surge of compassion for the lonely, abandoned child he had been. But pity was the last thing a man like Benno could accept.
“How long did it take you to find the cave?”
“Several hours. There are a couple of places that look like entrances lower down. And I fell a couple of times. Actually, I split my chin open, but I didn’t let a little blood stop me. I was pretty determined back then.”
“Then? You’re pretty determined to get what you want now.”
He actually sounded as if he were amused when he said, “Some things never change.”
“And others do?” she prompted.
“When I left this town, I bid it good riddance. I wa
s certain I would never come back.”
And Sydney was certain he hadn’t told her everything. Something more than petty crimes on his part and petty meanness on the parts of the townspeople had made him leave. She hoped he would trust her enough to tell her about it.
“Why did you return?” she asked.
“The part of me that changed wouldn’t have it any other way. I guess I felt I had to prove I could do anything I wanted.”
Or that he was good enough, Sydney thought. Of course he was, always had been, but undoubtedly he had scars that ran deeper than the one on his chin, scars so deep they might never heal. She could only imagine what he must have gone through. And people like Martha Lord, Mick Brickman and the self-important Parnell Anderson wouldn’t make his being accepted easy if they could help it.
“Helping me isn’t going to help you,” Sydney predicted.
“Maybe I don’t care about being accepted as much as I thought I did.”
She knew that was a lie. He cared, all right. She didn’t need ESP to understand.
She’d been a misfit in her own way. She, too, had hidden from who she was. She’d started over, made a new life for herself in California, had even thought she was happy. But who could be satisfied living a lie, denying their own identity? That’s what Benno seemed to have done, but he had the courage to face his past.
Would she ever be able to say the same for herself?
When silence stretched between them, she had the distinct feeling he was through talking about himself for one night. She could prompt him, remind him of his promise to talk about himself until the tide came in, threaten to run back out into the night. But that would make her as cruel as the people he had learned to hate.
Benno had shared so much of himself that she would be satisfied.
“You’re so quiet,” he said. “Did I succeed in disillusioning you?”
“Not at all. You’ll have to tell me more... some other time.”
When he was ready, she thought.
He merely grunted in response, yet she sensed he was more open and relaxed with her than he had been since she’d known him. She, on the other hand, was anything but relaxed. Silence gave her too much time to consider her attraction. Perhaps if she moved away...
“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded when she tried.
“This can’t be comfortable for you.”
“Am I complaining?”
“Your arm must be going to sleep. Oh, God, your arm... the wound.”
“It’s the other arm,” he said, chuckling.
“This isn’t funny. Let me get the flashlight and look at it,” she said, trying to move away again.
He pulled her back into his side. “My arm is fine. It’s only a flesh wound, and the bleeding stopped long ago.”
“The wound should be cleaned.”
“No doubt the salt water did the trick. My arm stung like hell.”
“Benno–”
”Hush.”
His mouth found hers in the dark as if drawn by a magnet. She’d been almost calm, settled, but now his lips stirred her deeply. As if his telling her about himself had freed her of self-imposed constraints, Sydney put all of herself into the embrace. This was only a kiss, she told herself. Surely no harm would come from a kiss.
And then she stopped thinking as his hand edged under her shirt and found her breast. He flicked the nipple, made it tighten, grasped the bud between thumb and forefinger and gently squeezed.
She moaned into his mouth.
Her palm drifted up his chest to his neck, memorizing every inch along the way. Her forefinger grazed the diamond earring as she slid her hand toward his damp hair. Several strands had come loose from where it was tied. She twined her fingers in it and smiled against his mouth, for a moment amused that she was kissing a man who had longer hair and was wearing more jewelry than she.
Then, when Benno caressed her hip, smoothed the flat of her stomach and slipped his hand between her thighs, the depth of her response made her sober.
Panting, she freed her mouth and tried to pull away.
Benno didn’t let her go. “Sydney...?”
“No, please.”
She struggled to no avail. He held her pressed firmly to his side.
“At least let me hold you,” he said. “We can keep each other warm through the night.”
Sydney stopped fighting him. Wrapped in Benno’s arms, she felt so right, so safe.
Safe from the villain who’d been stalking them, she realized, but not from memories. Especially not from the memory of how stupid she’d been about Al Fox’s true intentions. Even with her gifts, she hadn’t been able to see beyond the surface. Blinded by what she’d thought was love, she’d allowed a stranger to seduce her both physically and mentally.
This time was different, she told herself.
How? an inner nemesis asked.
Because she wouldn’t allow herself to get so deeply involved. She wasn’t in love with Benno, she simply couldn’t be. She’d married another man only a week before – or so she had thought. She could no longer trust her own emotions. Duped once, she had no intentions of deluding herself again. She couldn’t get involved until she was whole.
Guilt stole through Sydney as she realized she was being unfair to Benno. He hadn’t sought her out. He’d been drawn into this mystery – into danger – because of her and out of loyalty to an old friend. He’d had no other reason to involve himself. She and Benno had merely been drawn together by an extraordinary situation.
When this was over, when Fox was caught and imprisoned, she would leave Stone Beach, would leave Benno, and try to put the pieces of her life back together. He would understand, she told herself. Though he hadn’t yet told her why, he, too, had felt it necessary to leave Stone Beach and this had been his home.
Even as she rationalized, Benno hugged her closer, rubbed his cheek against her hair.
And Sydney felt an impending sense of loss she refused to define.