been craving this for so long. He wanted it to be like it used to be, back in his room, before everything went to hell.
“I need you right now,” Hilary said. She tugged at his belt, trying to unfasten it. Just go with it, David told himself. Here she is, in your arms again. What the hell are you complaining about?
He slipped her dress up and held her firm thighs, pulling them closer to him.
“Mmmmmm,” she moaned, and closed her eyes. “I missed you so much,” she whispered. She managed to get his belt loose and was working on the top button of his jeans. He was kissing her neck, searching for that sweet spot. She didn’t smell the same as he remembered. Maybe he had it confused with something else . . . with Lucy, when they were in the elevator, her arm over him, so close, so warm. She would never forgive him if she found out about Hilary.
Shut up.
“Don’t stop,” Hilary said. He didn’t realize he had. She managed to get his pants unbuttoned. She slid her fingers down inside. Her hand was cold, but it felt amazing. David hadn’t been with anyone since Hilary. But Hilary had. She’d been with Sam. It turned his stomach.
David pushed Hilary away, which forced her to plant her feet on the ground.
“What are you doing?” she said.
David buttoned his pants and stepped away from the desk.
He didn’t know what to say.
“David?”
“I need a second,” he said. “What are we doing here?”
“This,” she said. She pressed herself into him, and went in for an openmouthed kiss. He pulled his head away.
They stared at each other for a moment. Tears gathered on her eyelashes and twinkled in the light of the candles.
“Don’t cry,” David said.
“Sam killed Alan today.”
“What?”
“He killed him. For no reason. He just beat his face with a . . .” She couldn’t go on, she was sobbing too hard. She pushed away from David. A shiver came over David. Alan. Out of all of Varsity, why Alan? He was one of the most cheerful kids David had ever met.
“Alan’s dead?” he said again. It didn’t feel possible.
Hilary collapsed into a chair, lifting her feet up onto the seat and tucking her knees underneath her chin. David pulled a chair around to face her and sat down. He leaned forward, placing his hands on her legs.
“Sam’s lost it. Ever since you beat him on the quad, he’s been worse. He thinks everybody’s out to get him. I’m trying to act like everything’s okay for the Pretty Ones, but I’m scared.
When’s he gonna swing that baseball bat at me?” Hilary sobbed again. This wasn’t what he wanted. He thought they’d talk about their feelings. She’d tell him
everything she’d felt about him for the past year and a half, and he’d do the same. He never thought it would be this.
“He’s made me do so many awful things. Things I never would have done.”
“Why did you do them?” David said. It sounded cold, but he needed to know. She looked at him like she was offended.
“You don’t know what it’s been like.”
“I think I do,” David said. “He tried to hang me.”
“Well, we all can’t be as noble as you, David.”
“That’s a cop-out.”
“I had to survive, David!” Hilary said. David realized that she had probably never said any of this to anyone. “And he was my boyfriend.”
“He’s not anymore?”
“It’s complicated.”
“He kills people. And lets others starve. Why would you stay with him?” David said.
“You kill people too.”
That got David’s anger up.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” David said.
Hilary stared at the door.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said finally.
The excitement he had felt walking into this room had died.
This wasn’t the girl he lost back at Sam’s party. Or maybe it was, but the feeling was gone. They didn’t belong together.
But he still cared for her. He didn’t want her to live in fear.
“Do you want to join the Loners?” David asked.
“You could kill him,” she said. “I could sneak you in. You could take over Varsity. I’d support you. I have the girls.
Everything would be okay. We could be like we were.” David stared at her. He couldn’t believe she’d just said all that. Who was this girl? She dumps him, acts like he’s invisible all this time, and then asks him to kill her boyfriend?
“I’m not going murder anybody, Hilary.”
“Why not? After everything he’s done to you? After everything he’s done to everybody,” Hilary got angry. “He’ll do it to you. He’s going to kill you!”
“Well, it sounds like he’s really going someplace.” Hilary stood up. She jabbed her finger at him like a knife.
“You’re an idiot. I’m giving you a chance to change things, David. Everybody could start over!”
“I already have started over.”
Hilary shook her head and pushed open the door.
“I’m sorry,” David said. And he was.
She slipped out into the hall and was gone. David let out a long breath.
“Oh, man . . . ,” he said to himself. “That went well.” David leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair.
He stared at the ceiling. If there was anything to be said for McKinley High, it was that, with enough time, it revealed the truth about everybody.
22
Will gripped the handle of locker 733.
This was the moment of truth. He looked back at Lucy. She smiled at him. But it wasn’t her full smile. He knew what Lucy looked like when she was truly happy, and this wasn’t it. He hadn’t planned on taking her out tonight. He hadn’t even checked out what was in the locker yet. He was going to do that tomorrow. But earlier in the night, when Lucy gave him the book on Alexander the Great, he knew he couldn’t wait.
She’d told him that Alexander had conquered the ancient world even though he had epilepsy. She wanted to inspire Will, she believed in him, and that meant she really cared about him. Will couldn’t hold it in. He told her he had a surprise for her, but they’d have to sneak out again. She didn’t want to go at first, but he’d convinced her.
Tonight was the night he would make his move.
As he lifted the locker’s handle, he panicked. What if there was nothing inside? What if this was all a big practical joke by Smudge? He didn’t know what could be in there. Maybe a map to another location? A ring of keys that unlocked a door that no one else could get through? He took a big breath.
“What’s wrong?” Lucy said.
“Nothing,” Will said. He swung the locker open.
There was a giant hole in the back of the locker.
The metal back wall of the locker had been bent inward, and a hole had been knocked through the drywall behind.
There was darkness beyond. Lucy gasped.
“What is this?” Lucy asked.
“I said it was a surprise, didn’t I?” Will said.
He hoped she bought that. This was way better than he hoped. It was taking everything he had to hide his shock.
“Ready?” Will said.
“I think so. Where does it go?”
“You’ll see.”
He took her hand. He stepped into the locker and through the ragged hole. Will led her into the black void on the other side. He clicked his phone on, and its thin light revealed that they were in an interstitial space between the wall of lockers and the load-bearing concrete wall. It was a slim space, three feet wide. He couldn’t tell its length, it was too dark. The air smelled stale. Someone, probably Smudge, had drawn a large
black arrow on the concrete wall. It pointed left.
“Will, should I be scared?”
“No way. It’s gonna be fun.”
He prayed he wasn’t wrong. He reached back through the hole and closed the lo
cker behind them. It felt like closing a coffin from the inside. The hallway’s light barely illuminated the underside of the locker’s horizontal vents. Will got a little scared himself. They were inside the guts of the school, head-ing who knew where. He didn’t let go of Lucy’s hand. Her palm was the littlest bit damp now, just a trace of sweat.
“This way,” he said.
Will followed the arrow and pulled Lucy down the thin pas-sageway. His phone’s anemic light only revealed a few feet in front of them.
“How do you know about this?” Lucy asked.
“I know a lot of places in here you’ve probably never been to.”
“Is that so? Like what?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Lucy chuckled. “Bullshitter.”
The passage came to an end at a drywall and stud wall, with another hole knocked through it. Again, there was only darkness beyond it.
Will stepped through the hole. By his phone’s illumination he saw a light switch on the wall. He flicked it. Bright ceiling lights sputtered on. Will and Lucy were in a small ten-by-ten-foot
room with a metal access panel, sort of a hatch, in the middle of the floor. The hatch was open, revealing a maintenance shaft with a utility ladder that led down toward the basement level. The room had a single door on the far wall, but the knob was missing.
“Is this . . . it?” she asked.
“Yeah, I just wanted to show you a supercreepy room.” She rolled her eyes.
“Keep your pants on. It’ll be worth it,” he said.
He had the distinct feeling that he was digging himself deeper each time he said something like that. He was depending entirely on Smudge’s good will now, and that was less than reassuring.
“I should tell Sasha about this place. She’s always looking for a private place for her and Gonzalo to have sex,” Lucy said.
“Maybe you should. I hate having to listen to them go at it.”
“I know, right?”
Will peered down the shaft. The metal ladder extended down to a dirty concrete floor. He was getting nervous that this wasn’t leading anywhere good at all. Lucy tried to open the knobless door, but it wouldn’t budge.
“This way,” Will said.
He climbed into the maintenance shaft and took the ladder down one cold metal rung at a time.
“Don’t look up my dress,” Lucy said as she followed him onto the ladder.
He looked. But she was just a black silhouette against the light of the room above. The shaft emptied into a small hot room full of large humming machines with blinking control panels, and a network of square metal air ducts coming off them. He hopped off the ladder. He spotted another arrow.
It pointed to a square hole in the side of a low-lying air duct.
The vent cover was missing.
Lucy stepped off the ladder and took in the room. For the first time, she looked genuinely disappointed.
”Now what?”
“It’s just through here,” Will said, pointing toward the hole in the air duct.
“There? Come on. You’re joking. I’m going to get my dress dirty. Can’t you just tell me what it is?” He was losing her.
“I promise it’s worth it,” Will said. Lucy pursed her lips and waggled them from side to side, weighing the decision in her mind.
“Is it far?” Lucy asked.
“It’s super close.”
He should just shoot himself now. He had no idea how much farther it was, or how the hell he’d know when he was even there. His big romantic date was going off the rails. Not that Lucy knew this was a date.
Will didn’t wait for her answer. He climbed headfirst into the air duct. He shined his phone ahead. The duct seemed to
extend forever and the air inside was hot and dry. It flowed in the direction he crawled, away from the room full of machines.
He could hear Lucy climb into the duct behind him.
“Oh, my God, it’s so hot in here,” she said.
“It’s not that bad,” Will said.
But it was. The farther he crawled, the hotter he got. He hoped she liked sweaty guys. The duct metal was hot, and it hurt the skin on his forearms.
“Will, I’m getting burned. I don’t like this.” He could hear the aggravation in her voice.
“Not much farther.”
With every foot he crawled, Will could feel Lucy slipping away from him. She was probably wishing she had never agreed to come out with him at all. Whatever was at the end of this journey had to be huge. Impossibly huge.
“I want to go back,” she said. Will ignored her.
The end had to be soon. Either that, or Smudge had boned him. Hard. He’d probably hit a dead end, or pop out of a vent in the middle of the trash dump. Smudge was probably holding his stomach, cackling at that very moment at the thought of Will stuck inside this hot metal esophagus, ruining any chance he’d ever had with Lucy.
“Will, are you going to answer me?”
The duct turned again. He saw a faint blue glow ahead.
Finally. He crossed Smudge off his mental To Kill list.
“We’re here,” he said.
“Really?”
It had to be it. He didn’t know what it was, but it had to be.
“Yup.”
Will crawled faster. The blue glow was shining through the black slats of a large vent cover. He scurried up and pressed his face to the slats. The vent cover popped right off and clanged down onto a white-tiled floor below. The sound hung in the air.
“Holy shit,” Will said softly.
It was the pool. Giant, six lanes. The water’s surface was absolutely still. It looked like clear blue glass. He could smell the chlorine. Damn, it smelled so clean. There wasn’t a soul in the room. He knew the pool was under the gym, inside Varsity territory. But he didn’t care. He had to get out of this hot tunnel and into that cool, serene water. He climbed out of the duct.
Lucy popped her head out right after. The bothered scowl on her face reversed at the sight of the pool. She beamed.
Relief drained the tension from Will’s muscles. Now Lucy was finally smiling her full smile.
“The pool!” she said. “Will! You took me to the pool?” Her voice echoed through the tiled room. Will pressed his forefinger to his lips with a smile. He didn’t know if Varsity was lurking. Lucy lowered her voice.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“I don’t know, maybe four?”
“That’s perfect. Hilary doesn’t go for her morning swim until six thirty, and free swim isn’t till after that. So nobody’s going to be down here.”
“Free swim?” Will said, his jaw hanging open. “You guys got to swim every day?”
“Believe me, it takes all the fun out of it when Varsity guys are watching you like sharks trying to cop a feel under water.”
“Lucky bastards.”
“Will!” she laughed.
He laughed too. This was the moment. She was happy, he was happy. He needed to take her head in his hands and kiss her.
But he didn’t. He froze, when right in front of him, Lucy unzipped the back of her dress, and let it fall to the floor.
23
The tiles felt cold and fresh under her
bare feet. Lucy stepped out of her dress, which lay puddled around her feet. She walked two steps to the edge of the pool and dove in.
Chilly water caressed every inch of her. She loved being underwater. She spread her arms out and dug through the water. Deeper. The pure silence was almost as refreshing as the water. She closed her eyes, relishing her weightlessness.
She ran her hands down her body and kicked hard.
Deeper still. It was so familiar. Every summer she swam at her family’s lake house. She and her cousins would lie on the wooden raft anchored near the shore and bake in the sun until they couldn’t stand it. They’d jump into the crisp water and swim all the way down, racing to be the first one to touch
the silty bottom. Those were some of her favo
rite memories.
Lucy touched the bottom of the deep end with her fingers.
She curled into a ball and tumbled forward, drifting slowly like an astronaut in deep space. She lingered there a moment.
In her mind she heard her cousins’ laughter. She could taste the sweet, chilly lemonade her father had dropped off from the motorboat. The noon sun made every little thing so vivid back then. She smiled.
This was the best gift Will could have given her.
Her lungs began to burn. She opened her eyes and kicked off the floor. She loved the drag of the water on her body.
She broke the surface and drew in a full, fresh breath. She scanned the room for Will.
He was hopping on one foot as he yanked the last leg of his jeans off. He wore a wrinkled pair of light blue boxers with some goofy pattern on them. There was a rip in the thigh. They were about as ratty and worn out as Lucy’s bra and panties.
“Um, what’s on your boxers?” Lucy said with a grin.
Will looked down and groaned.
“Uh . . . Santa hats. They were from my grandma. If I knew I was going to be locked in here for years, I probably would’ve picked something else.”
Lucy laughed. It was cute. Will looked around the room,
“Pretty great, right?”
“Amazing,” she said. “You win the prize.”
He nodded. He held his pants in front of him like he was nervous being nearly naked in front of her. She could tell he was tense by the way he was holding himself.
“Well, get in,” she said. “It feels great.” Will cast his pants aside and cannonballed into the pool.
Will was so sweet to bring her here. It was an endless comfort to know that someone cared for her, wanted to protect her, take her to fun places. That was never her experience when she was around Varsity. They were rude, inconsiderate jerks.
She remembered being in this pool with them, and guys like Brad would give her butt a squeeze under water. She remembered being offended, but at the same time she couldn’t help feeling excited. She never let on, but some of them turned her on, in a purely physical way. She’d seen things as a Pretty One she’d never seen before. She’d stumbled across couples having sex in the showers a few times. Sex had stopped seeming like that thing that adults did. It could be something she could do if she wanted to. And she did want to. There was just no one in Varsity she trusted enough to try it with.