And look what happened there. She knew better than to trust in love. That was why she'd spent all these years saving her money and protecting her siblings.
Her independence meant everything to her. She had a road map she'd carefully constructed for her entire life, and nowhere in there had it included a man. A crazy, sexy man who would disrupt everything.
How had she allowed this to happen?
She didn't know what to do. She needed time to think, and her heart was getting in the way.
GRANT FOUND SOME TIME ALONE WITH HIS DAD WHILE his mother was in the kitchen. They sat down outside by the pool.
"It's been a fun couple of days, Dad. I'm glad we came."
"I'm glad you came, too. It was good to see you." His dad studied him. "You know what? You're different."
Grant arched a brow. "Different? How?"
"You've always had this crazy energy. Always up and doing things. You seem a lot more ... settled now."
"Yeah? I hadn't noticed."
"I'm not surprised. I'm sure that difference has a lot to do with Katrina."
"You think so?"
His dad gave him that all-knowing "Dad" smile, the one Grant had seen a thousand times over the years. "I know so. Of course, the same thing happened to me when I fell in love with your mother. I'd been cock of the block, chasing women like there wasn't a pair of panties I couldn't get into. It was like a big, fun challenge to me, and one I enjoyed winning."
It sounded an awful lot like how Grant had lived his life for the past several years. One woman after another. He'd had fun. A hell of a lot of fun.
"Then I met your mom and bam. Game over."
And then Grant met Katrina. And nothing had been the same since.
"I fell in love with your mother. I never wanted to look at another woman after her."
The "love" word. Grant hadn't allowed himself to think it, let alone admit it, but there it was. His dad said the word so easily. He wondered if it had been so easy for him all those years ago. "So it was like that, huh?"
"She was it for me. My skirt-chasing days were over once I met your mother. The thought of ever being with another woman lost its appeal after her."
That's exactly where Grant was now. He took a few seconds to let the realization wash over him. "I don't think I knew it until spending time with Katrina here, but that's exactly where I am. I don't want anyone else but her. I don't want her to be with anyone else but me. Is that love?"
His dad gave him an all-knowing smile. "It was for me. Are you saying you don't know?"
"I don't know. I guess it is."
His father gave him a stern look. "I think you'd better do more than guess. Before you mess with that girl's heart--and those kids, too. They're crazy about you in case you hadn't noticed."
Yeah, he'd noticed all right. "I know how I feel about Katrina, Dad. And about Leo and Anya. I've never felt this way about a woman before. And I know she's part of a package. The kids have been in her life--in my life--since the beginning. I love her. I love all of them."
He'd said the words out loud and it had felt good. So there was step one.
"Have you told her that?"
"No."
"Do you know how she feels about you?"
"No."
Dad gave him that look again, the one that told him he was being a dumbass. "I guess it's time the two of you sit down and talk about your relationship."
Grant scrubbed his hand over his chin. "That's the thing. She hasn't exactly had an easy go of it over the years. Her dad skipped out on them and her mom died when she was young, leaving her the burden of raising Leo and Anya on her own. I think she might be reluctant to give up her independence."
"I think love and independence are two different things, Grant. You just have to show her that loving you doesn't mean she has to give anything up. And look at what she gains."
"What's that?"
His dad spread his arms wide. "Us."
Grant laughed. "So true. That's a big win in my opinion."
His dad stood and brought Grant in for a hug. "Talk to the woman you love. You'll figure things out."
"I will, Dad. Thanks."
He walked away, thinking about the conversation he'd just had.
Never in his life did he ever think he'd get love advice from his dad.
Of all people. Mom, maybe, but Dad? He shook his head.
But his father had been right. He and Katrina needed to talk.
But not here, and not right now. He had to get up to Dallas and start getting prepped for the game on Thursday night. It was time to put all his focus on that.
After his game, he and Katrina would have that talk.
THIRTY-ONE
KATRINA HAD EVERYTHING PACKED BY THE TIME GRANT returned to the house.
She also had her mind made up. She knew what she had to do.
Now she had to hope Grant understood.
He came in the room and started toward her, a very sweet smile on his face.
Oh, no. She knew what would happen. He'd put his hands on her, his mouth on her, and all her resolve would dissipate. She purposely put a suitcase in front of him to block him from touching her.
He stared down at the suitcase and looked over at her, then frowned. "What's wrong?"
"The kids and I are leaving."
"I know. We're all leaving for Dallas. I figure you all could sightsee and maybe do some shopping for a couple of days. Then the game on Thursday night. After that, we'll head back up to my place ..."
She cut him off. "No. We're going back to New York."
She saw the confusion on his face. "What? New York? You mean today? That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I thought maybe you and the kids would stay at my place. Like ... permanently."
"What?"
"St. Louis is a major airport. You shouldn't have any problems catching flights wherever you want to go. There are great schools there, both public and private."
She held up her hand. "Wait. Just stop there. What are you talking about?"
"You. Me. Leo and Anya. There's plenty of room at the house. And I've already talked to a contractor about all the renovations. We can make this work, Kat. We can be a family."
Her head was spinning. This wasn't at all going like she planned. "Are you saying you want us to move in with you?"
"Okay. Yeah. I'm kind of handling this backward. It's not like I've done this before." He was smiling at her. He looked genuinely happy, as if he hadn't just turned her world completely upside down. "I love you, Kat."
The words should have elated her. After all, she loved him, too. But love changed things. It made everything messy and complicated. As if their lives weren't messy and complicated already.
And why would she uproot the kids and move in with him? She'd established a life for them in New York. A life that worked well. She was successful there. She had a launching point for European travel.
So typical for a man to think she'd give up everything and follow him. Wasn't that what her mother had done? She'd left Russia and followed her father to a new life in America. And then he'd made her life miserable, abandoned her ...
Abandoned them.
Abandoned Katrina when she'd needed him most.
Because that was what men who loved you did to you. They made promises, and then they left.
She shook her head, the past mixed with the now.
No. She would not do this.
It was like she'd been living in a dream these past couple of months. A hazy fog where everything had been hot and sexy and uncomplicated. And in the middle of all the hot and sexy and uncomplicated had been Grant, who'd swept in with all his sweet words and his incredible body and made her feel like a princess in a fairyland.
But that wasn't real life. She had other people besides herself to think about, which was nothing like a fantasy.
She'd worked so hard all these years, had sacrificed so much, so the kids could have their futures. So she could have her future. So
she'd never have to rely on anyone. It had taken order and discipline and a precisely structured plan. All the order and discipline she'd carefully crafted would never work with him, living with him at his house.
Her heart sank.
She shook her head. "No."
His smile evaporated. "No to which part?"
She lifted her gaze to his. "No to all of it. We can't make this work."
He circumvented her luggage barrier, took her hands and sat on the bed, taking her with him. "Tell me what you think won't work and we'll talk through it."
She didn't want to talk through it. She didn't want him to try and convince her. All she wanted right now was to go back to the way her life was. When it was simple and uncomplicated and didn't have Grant in it. When her heart didn't hurt and her mind wasn't confused. When the kids wouldn't be hurt--again--because they couldn't have what they wanted.
Only this time it wouldn't be Dad who hurt them by leaving, or Mom by dying. It would be her who was going to hurt them, because they'd fallen in love with Grant--and with his family--just as she had.
This was just as much Grant's fault as it was hers. How could she not have seen this coming?
Dammit.
She stood and paced back and forth. Grant got up, too.
"Kat. Talk to me."
She stopped, turned to face him.
"I have to get the kids. We have to go home."
"No, you don't. You have to tell me what's bothering you so I can fix it."
Anger and frustration boiled inside of her. She pointed a finger at him. "That's the problem. You think you can fix everything when you can't. You exploded into my life and made all these changes to it. You expected me to blindly follow along as if you knew best. Well, you don't know best. You don't know me or my family or what's best for us. And while I appreciate you taking my brother and sister under your wing, and while I really love your family, you're all a little overwhelming for me. And you never once asked if this was what I wanted."
He frowned. "If what was what you wanted?"
She opened her arms wide. "This. All of this."
He looked around the bedroom, then frowned. "You're not making any sense. Are you saying you don't want to be part of my life?"
She knew she wasn't making sense. None of it made sense to her, either. All she knew was she didn't want to be here anymore, because it hurt too much. She didn't know what she wanted, only that she had never been so scared of the way she felt, of the possibility of change in her life.
The possibility that he could hurt her someday.
"I need to go home."
"No, you need to stay here and talk to me."
She shook her head. "The kids and I have been doing fine. I'm perfectly capable of supporting them and myself. I don't need you to take care of me. To take care of us."
"I know that."
She gave him a pointed look. "Do you? Do you really? I don't know if you care about me, or feel as if you need to shelter us, to protect us."
He reached for her. "Kat, it's not like that. It's never been like that."
She took a step back. "I don't know if it is or it isn't. I need some distance, some time to think about all of us. About all of this. You can't upend our lives like this, Grant. You just ... can't."
He stared at her, and she knew then he was out of things to say. So was she.
"I'd really appreciate it if someone could drive us to the airport. I've already booked flights for us to New York."
"Don't do this. Stay and talk to me."
"I need to get back home. Please don't ask me to stay."
He stared at her. She stared back.
"Katrina."
"No. I mean it, Grant. No."
He threw up his hands. "Fine. I'll drive you. But this isn't over. We're not over."
Yes, they were. They had to be, because she couldn't allow someone to take over her life like this. It had already gone on too long.
She said her good-byes to Lydia and Easton, as painful as that was, knowing she wouldn't see them again. She made up a flimsy excuse about having booked a last-minute job and needing to catch a quick flight back to New York.
The kids didn't say anything, but she knew they felt the tension in the car all the way to the airport, especially when Grant dropped them off.
They both gave him tight hugs. And she saw the tears in his eyes when he looked at her. But he didn't hug her, and it took everything in her not to throw her arms around him.
But she held back. Because she was doing the right thing and she knew it.
When they got back to the apartment in New York City, it felt cold and empty. The kids were quiet, and it didn't take long for them to realize she lied.
"You don't have a job, do you?" Anya asked the next day when she saw Katrina sitting on the sofa, leafing through a magazine.
"No."
"Then why are we back here when we could have gone to Dallas with Grant?"
She rubbed at her temple where a headache had formed yesterday and had yet to go away.
"Grant and I have some issues to work out. It's really not your business, Anya."
"You screwed things up with him, didn't you?"
She gave her sister a stern look. "I'm not discussing this with you."
Anya marched off in a huff and hid in her room.
It was even worse with Leo, who was inconsolable. Despite his promises to Easton, once he realized her relationship with Grant was over, he could put two and two together. He slept until noon, dragged himself out of bed and shoved his earbuds into his ears. He was silent and sullen, barely speaking to her.
She'd done a fine job of alienating her siblings. She'd hurt them--badly.
But she knew what was best for the kids, long term, even if they didn't think so.
Didn't she?
Thursday night they ate dinner, then crowded around the television. Grant's game was on, so Anya and Leo cuddled together on the sofa to watch, making sure to keep as much distance from Katrina as they could. They had barely spoken to her for the past couple of days. Not that she could blame them. She was the one breaking their hearts.
It only made Katrina feel more miserable to see Grant play. He looked so good in his uniform, throwing the ball with his rocket arm to his receiver, Cole Riley.
"He looks really good," she said to Leo and Anya, who only shot glares in her direction as replies.
At halftime, Leo and Anya refreshed their drinks while Katrina checked her e-mail.
"Why did you do it?" Leo asked.
It took her a minute to realize he was speaking to her. "Do what?"
"Break up with Grant. Did he do something bad to you?"
"No. He didn't."
"Then why? And don't treat me like a kid."
She sighed. "I just felt it was better for us to be here."
"Instead of ... St. Louis?" Anya asked.
"Yes. I think he was suggesting too many changes to our lives. And that's not always a good thing. You don't just move into someone's life and change everything."
"But didn't you--didn't we--all do the same thing to him?" Anya asked. "He was a hot, single guy who could have any woman he wanted, right? But he chose you. But with you came us, and suddenly we presented an entire family to him. Plus, we made all those suggestions to renovate his house and plans for the future. And you know what? He never even blinked. He just accepted us. All of us. And all the change that came to his life that we brought. So if he could do that, and love us all, why couldn't you?"
It took a full minute for Anya's words to soak in.
"I ... don't know, Anya."
Anya shook her head and went back to watching the game.
It was only after the game--that the Traders won, after Anya and Leo had gone back to their rooms and she was alone again, that she really had time to think about what Anya had said to her.
They had completely upended his life, not the other way around. Anya was right. He was a hot single athlete who could have h
ad his choice of any available woman. Instead, he'd chosen her and her siblings. And then they'd gone and made suggestions to renovating his house, and he'd loved their ideas and had made plans to move forward.
At every step in the process, he'd welcomed her and her family into his life. He'd always included Anya and Leo, because he knew that if he wanted her, she came with a brother and sister. And when he told her he loved her and wanted to move her into his home, he'd invited Leo and Anya as well. That would have meant huge changes in his lifestyle. He'd never even blinked.
Because that's what you do when you love someone--you allow change in your life.
She stood and went over to the window, looking out over the city she'd always called home. Now it just seemed foreign to her, because Grant wasn't here to share it with her.
Grant wasn't a man who ran from responsibility. He was a man who would have welcomed it with open arms.
Tears pricked her eyes and she swiped them away, so angry with herself she wanted to scream.
"Stupid, Katrina. You are so stupid."
She'd gone along on this wild, crazy journey with him because she'd known, probably as early as Barbados, that he was the one for her.
The only one.
She'd have never done any of these things with any other man. Just Grant. Because he was it for her. The one, the only, the man she loved.
The only man she would ever love.
She laid her head against the windowpane.
"So, so stupid."
And now she'd lost him.
DESPITE THE GREAT GAME AGAINST DALLAS, GRANT wasn't in the mood to celebrate. His parents had come to the game, and damn he was happy to see them. Fortunately, the media was happier to see Easton Cassidy than they were to talk to him, so he let his dad field questions from reporters while he grabbed his mom and snuck away from the inevitable postgame interviews.
They waited in the car for his dad to finish with the reporters.
"I'm sorry Katrina couldn't be here tonight," his mom said.
"Yeah, that's too bad." It was as much of an answer as he was willing to give.
"Are you going to tell me what happened between the two of you the day you left the ranch, or should I just call Katrina and ask her?"
His head shot up. "I don't think it's a good idea to call Katrina, Mom. We're not ... seeing each other anymore."
His mom crossed her arms. "Okay, what did you do?"
"Why do women always assume the guy screwed something up?"