“We didn’t—” one started.
“Stop,” he said. “No more excuses. These cretins…”
“It wasn’t just them,” I said. “I made it from the bridge back to the Great Forest alone. It’s not like they were the only idiots out there.”
Sadler looked at me as if he were losing his own mind. “You were alone. For that long.”
“Somebody shot me with an arrow and knocked me off the horse,” I explained, pointing at the starburst scar. “I rolled down a really steep hill. The couldn’t have followed, unless they rolled down the hill after me, I suppose.”
Sadler’s face turned a little purple.
“Anyway, I just started walking. I couldn’t stop because the things in the water kept laughing at me.” I was rambling, and I told myself to shut up, but no, I had to keep going. “So I avoided the people trying to track me down, and I followed some of, um, Brighid’s flowers, and I found my way home. Eventually. The clurichaun stopped me and tried to sell me to you, but the Guardian helped me get back to the right—”
I had never seen so many shocked faces in my life. “What?” I rubbed my temples, wondering where I had gone wrong. “But… um, I’m just a summer wife, so maybe I imagined it all.”
“What did I do to deserve this creature?” Sadler muttered.
“You can let me go at any time,” I said, settling back into my chair. “Who hit me with the arrow anyway? Jerks.”
Reynard spluttered with indignation. “She dares too much.”
“Do you tell me what to do with my own wife?” Sadler asked.
Reynard backed away, his eyes wide with fear. “No. My apologies. You know the hate I have for humans. That’s all I see when I look at her.”
“You see failure when you look at me,” I said scornfully. “How many times exactly did I slip out of your hands? Idiot.”
“Yes.” Sadler leaned forward. “Tell me how many times it was, Fox.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” he protested.
“If she escapes, I will blame it on you, no matter whose fault it is.”
Reynard narrowed his eyes at me. “I’ll see her dead before I see her leave.”
I believed him.
***
A midwife arrived that afternoon. She was a voluptuous woman with purple cheeks and hair the colour of straw. Her eyes were the lightest green I had ever seen.
“Too pale,” she tutted, looking me over as I sat on the throne.
“Just tell me when the baby will be born,” Sadler snapped. He had been anxious since her arrival.
“We’ll need a quiet room for that,” she said.
“Take her to my chambers,” Sadler ordered.
Rumble stepped forward. I had begun to recognise him because he was one of the few who always wore a helmet. I still hadn’t seen his face.
“Vix, you, too,” Sadler said sharply.
The four of us walked up the stairs to Sadler’s room. I shivered, feeling sick at the memory of the woman who had spent the night in there with Sadler then limped away the next morning. I hadn’t seen her again.
“Do you have to be here?” the midwife asked Rumble.
He nodded. “I’m to keep watch and make sure you don’t harm her or the baby.”
The midwife snorted. “Get on the bed, girl. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to measure your womb to see how much time we have left.”
I lay on the bed. She lifted my top and placed her hands on either side of my stomach, digging her fingers uncomfortably into my skin.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“I’ve been kidnapped, I’m trapped in the faery realm, and I’m married to a mad king who plans on stealing my baby and killing me as soon as it’s born. I’m great, thanks.”
The midwife smiled. “But how does your body feel? Have you been ill, tired? Are you eating? You look pale.”
“I’m inside every day,” I complained. “And the food isn’t… what I’m used to.”
She felt my thighs and calves. “You were fit before this?”
“I ran. I used to run a lot. Not since I found out, though. I’ve been afraid. A lot of stuff happened before I found out.”
“The baby is a little small right now.”
“My stomach is growing every day.”
“Not enough for my liking.” She frowned. “And you are far too thin. You need some fresh air, more food, and exercise.”
“I don’t think he cares.”
“If he doesn’t, then the baby will come too soon, and nobody here will be able to help it.”
I sat up with fright. “You really think that could happen?”
She reached for my wrist and took my pulse. “You’re under a lot of stress. Stress effects the babies, whether we like it or not.” She looked at Vix. “Send for him.”
Vix made a face, but she obeyed.
“Is my baby going to be okay?” I asked. “Will I… will I have to be alone when she comes?”
“You’re scared.” She smiled. “And I heard you were so brave. You won’t be alone. I’ll be here when it’s time.”
“What if something goes wrong?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Don’t let anyone hurt the baby.” I grabbed her arm. “When I die, don’t let them hurt her. She’s just a baby. She doesn’t deserve…” I lay back on the pillows. “All of this.”
“Don’t you worry. Nobody wants to hurt this little one.”
“She won’t ever know me,” I whispered. “She’ll never know I loved her.”
“No fretting,” she insisted. “Do you feel it’s a girl?”
I shrugged. “‘She’ just pops out.”
“Maybe you have good instincts.” She looked as though she wanted to say something else, but Sadler stormed into the room, pushing Rumble out of his way.
“Who are you to summon me?”
“Don’t give me that tone,” she snapped. “Not if you want me to birth another child for you.”
“What is it?” he demanded.
“She’s six months pregnant, and the child isn’t growing enough. If this keeps up, she won’t make it to Lughnasadh. The girl is not well. Her blood pressure is too high. Too much stress will push her and the baby over the edge. If you want this baby to reach full term, you’ll provide her with what she needs.”
“She’s just a—”
“What do I care? She needs rest whenever she feels like it, and she needs to exercise every day. She has to have fresh air and good food, human food, and plenty of it. You forget she’s human, Sadler. You forget she has different needs. You remember—”
“Don’t.” He looked away. “Tell the staff. Let them take care of her.”
“Remember what I said,” she warned. “Push her too far, and there’ll be no baby at all. I see those bruises. You know quite well what you’re doing.”
“Get out, the lot of you!” he said. “Leave me in peace.” When they started filing out, he added, “Wait. Vix? Vix! Where are you?”
Vix stepped back into the room, looking pretty unhappy about it.
“Make sure she’s taken care of. Send a trusted group to the human realm to fetch some food. You have to make sure she’s taking care of the baby.”
Vix nodded and looked at me. “Do you require anything right now?”
“Fresh air,” I said. “I… I need to get outside.”
“You don’t leave these grounds,” Sadler said.
I nodded and slipped out of the room.
Vix followed, holding my elbow to slow me down. “Ten minutes,” she said. “I don’t have time to babysit a human.”
“You mean the queen,” I said smartly, shrugging her off.
“You won’t get special treatment for acting like a brat.”
I shrugged. “I’m going to die anyway.”
“We know. You haven’t stopped reminding us.”
She took me outside, and we walked along a large mucky area that was being dug up. I had watched the w
ork from my window, so I was already curious.
“What are they doing?” I asked.
“Digging.”
“I can see that. Why?”
“They’re planting. Fruit. Vegetables. There are too many people at court. We need more food, desperately.”
One of the gardeners looked up from his weeding. “Aye. We need food, but we can throw in a flower to honour our lady here. Is there something you would like to see growing, something you could see from your window?”
I gazed up at the tower that had become my home. “Black roses,” I whispered. “I’d really like to see black roses again.”
Vix cleared her throat.
“What?” I said. “They’re black, aren’t they?”
She looked away, obviously unamused.
“Anything else?” the gardener asked.
“How about some of Brighid’s flowers,” I said. “I like the smell.”
“They don’t grow freely.” The gardener’s voice shook. “And especially not in the Darkside.”
“I’ve seen them here,” I said. “They led me home.”
Vix snorted. “This is your home now.”
“My final resting place, you mean.”
Groaning, she dragged me away from the gardener. I took the opportunity to get a good look at the castle. A lot of it had been repaired, but one tower was still in complete ruins. There were four total, but only three were intact. I wondered what was in the other towers. More prisoners?
“Where are the children?” I asked.
“What?”
“The children. At the provings, there were lots of children. Deorad’s children. Where are they now?”
“In… they’re hidden.”
“Hidden from who?”
“You. The other courts. They don’t run freely all of the year. Only for short times. Sadler has no patience for them, and they ask for… their father a lot.”
“There were so many of them. All of them half-brothers and sisters to a king now. My baby’s aunts and uncles. It’s weird.”
“Deorad was a nickname for one with no name,” she said. “His own father declared he wasn’t a person, and therefore, his children are barely people, too.”
“Except for the one who is a king. Drake is branded. He has power.”
“Power can be taken away. He is the father of your child?”
“Who else?” I asked, a little offended.
“We had heard you had relations with both of them,” she said with a mocking laugh. “The stupid human spreading her legs, hoping to rise with them.”
“I never wanted this.”
“Then how did you end up here?” She led me back to the castle, fury in her eyes.
I wanted to be angry, too, but I kept asking myself the exact same question. How the hell did I end up here?
Chapter Nineteen
Sadler paced up and down in the yard as half of his court gathered in front of the castle doors to wait for the first royal carriage to arrive. A storm blew overhead, and it was cold. Many of the fae huddled together. I stood alone. I was going to see my friends again, and if I was really lucky, they were going to take me home with them.
Most of the women shivered in short summer dresses. I had gone all out on a massive ball gown I could barely walk in. I was pretty sure it was the type of dress that could give me muscles, since it was so heavy. The bodice was black satin with thick ribbons lacing it together. The skirt was full and white. My movements were so precarious that Sadler had ordered his soldiers to help carry the skirt whenever I took a step to keep me from falling on someone and killing them. Those weren’t his exact words but close enough.
As soon as the watchers called out the imminent arrival, Sadler ordered all of us to wait by his side. My heart raced. I spotted silver flags blowing in the breeze. I wondered if Sadler had somehow created such shitty weather for their arrival. I glanced at him. He looked pale. Soldiers surrounded us, making me uneasy.
“You look like you’re trying to ambush them,” I said sharply, unable to contain my irritation.
Sadler gave me a withering look. “As if a human could understand my intentions. Speak as little as possible today, dear wife, or I might forget how much I want that child of yours.”
I shut my mouth. Even the fae who had been kind to me were cold and harsh in front of Sadler. Everyone was afraid to board the sinking ship that was my life. And my child would grow up in that castle, unloved and uncared for. I didn’t want to birth another Deorad.
The first carriage rolled into the yard. When it stopped, Drake stepped out. He took one look at me, and his face fell. A skirt appeared in the carriage door, Sorcha waiting to be helped down, but Drake strode over to Sadler.
“What did you do to her?” Drake demanded in an icy voice.
Sadler sneered. “She’s my wife. What haven’t I done to her?”
Drake took a few short breaths, clenching his jaw so tightly I thought the bone might crack.
When he spoke again, he appeared calmer, but the anger remained in his eyes. “Give her to me when you’re done with her. Keep the child. Give me the woman.”
“You want my wife?” Sadler asked. “And what do I get out of this?”
“You get the child. You get my assurance that I won’t rip this castle apart, stone by stone.”
“No!” I said, horrified. “I’m not leaving my baby here!”
Drake refused to look at me. “You’re young. You can have more children.”
“I’m not going anywhere without my baby. How could you even come up with something so fucking stupid?”
“See?” Sadler said. “My wife doesn’t want to go with you. She’d rather live out the rest of her short life here.”
“Cara,” Drake said, still holding Sadler’s gaze, “you will die here.”
“I’m not leaving my baby behind,” I said. “If that’s the price, then I’m not leaving.”
Murmurs of approval drifted around the courtyard.
Drake looked at me then, showing a smidgeon of the Drake I knew. “He will torture you until you die.”
I knew that. But I couldn’t walk away and leave my baby behind. “You started it first,” I whispered. I made to turn around and walk away.
“Wait,” Drake said. “My queen wishes to present you both with a gift.”
Sadler grabbed my arm with a firm hand and held me in place. “And what would this gift be?”
“A pair of horses,” Drake said coolly. “I’ll let her have the pleasure.”
He turned on his heel and moved to the carriage to help Sorcha down. As always, she was beautiful. She wore a sparkling silver gown, making it clear in which court she belonged. She looked every inch a faery queen, whereas I still looked like a human playing dress-up.
Drake held her hand and led her to Sadler. Behind them came Dymphna and Líle, imposing and cold. Drake whispered something to Líle. She nodded and stepped behind the carriage. She walked back, leading two large horses. One was ginger with a high sheen on its coat. The other was huge and black with gorgeous amber eyes I recognised.
I bit down on my excitement. Dubh. They were giving us Dubh.
Sadler’s eyes lit up. “Beautiful.” He let go of me and moved toward the horses, straight for Dubh. Dubh reared up nastily, driving Sadler back.
Sadler gave a forced laugh. “I think I’ll leave the contrary one for my wife. Their personalities are well matched.” He walked over to the ginger horse, who was only slightly smaller than Dubh. It stood tall and allowed Sadler to examine it. “Exquisite. I thank you, Silver Queen. Why don’t you accept your gift, wife?” He sneered, probably expecting me to be afraid.
He stepped out of the way as I approached Dubh, a lump in my throat. I loved that horse. He was more than a horse to me. Rumble held my skirt out of the mud by himself, which had to be awkward.
As I reached Dubh, I held out my hands, my entire body taut with apprehension. Sadler would know, and Dubh would be sent away. Dubh reared, ri
ght on time, but I didn’t step back. I heard gasps of alarm, but I ignored them and stretched out a hand for him to sniff. When he didn’t bite or react, I brushed my hand against his face. He nuzzled my fingers, and the crowd clapped politely.
I turned to Sadler, unable to hide my happiness. His face was purple with rage. My smile fell. I would pay for that later.
“That horse is familiar,” Sadler said. “I know that horse.”
“It was mine,” Nella said, alighting from the second carriage. “He turned on me, so I sold him.” She smirked. “How nice to see you again, Sadler. And married! What an interesting turn of events. You do know she’s my descendant, don’t you?”
Murmurs ran through the crowd.
Sadler glanced at me. “I’ll try not to hold that against her. Perhaps the horse recognised her blood.”
Reynard frowned. He knew I had ridden Dubh, but he didn’t open his mouth. I assumed it was because he also knew I would remind everyone of how he had been unable to capture me on at least three different occasions. I gave him a sweet smile to let him know exactly what I was thinking. He turned on his heel and stormed off.
Drake’s court members were escorted to their rooms while the rest of us waited for Brendan. He exited his carriage with Arlen and strode cockily toward us. No Anya, no Grim, no Realtín, not even Bekind. Where was everyone?
I fidgeted anxiously as Brendan approached. If he said one word about leaving my baby behind, I was going to deck him. He stopped in front of me and studied my face for a long time. I looked at him pleadingly, and he nodded.
He turned to Sadler. “Her face doesn’t need your method of decoration, Sadler.”
“All wives need to learn some manners,” Sadler said. “You remember how I like manners.”
“I remember well. And I’m sorry for her misfortune.”
“Do you still need to be taught some manners?” Sadler asked harshly. “If so, I’ll be sure to spend some time with you while you’re here.”
“It’s time for lunch,” I piped up. “We should get inside before… before…”
“We are all hungry,” Brendan said. “May I escort your wife inside?”
“You may not,” Sadler gripped my upper arm and hauled me inside, closely followed by his guards.