“Hold on, baby,” I whispered. “Keep holding on. Just for a little while.”
“We can do this,” Anya said. “We can.”
The pain lessened, but the pressure was building. Ahead, Bekind yowled a warning, and Dubh abruptly turned and took a different route. I clutched the reins a little tighter. It helped whenever the pain came to have something to hold on to.
We rode through the night, and the lilac moon was starting to give way to the sun’s morning light when I heard the River Garbh crashing like a crazy water-monster. As we approached the bridge, the sound of galloping horses came from behind us.
I whimpered. “How did they catch up?”
“They didn’t,” Anya said. “They were lying in wait here and at the Hollows, in case you escaped. Sadler’s not stupid, Cara. He wasn’t going to leave his bases uncovered.”
I nodded, sucking in a panicked breath. Across the cliff were more soldiers.
“Dubh,” I whispered, “run!”
“No!” Anya yelled. “They’re here for us. Those are Brendan’s men! We need to get across.”
A familiar voice called out Anya’s name—Arlen.
“We’re okay,” Anya shouted over the roaring river.
The water slammed against the rocks even more angrily. Dubh began to cross the bridge, but it was slippery, and we were heavy.
“The baby’s on the way,” Anya called to Arlen. “And we’re being followed. We need the Miacha.”
“Then run!” Arlen shouted as we made it to land. “Run and don’t look back.”
He ran his hand across her cheek as we passed him. I felt her shiver behind me. He hadn’t looked my way once.
“We’ll follow you when we can,” he called after us. “Now get out of here!”
Arlen’s group crowded around the bridge, ready to attack any that dared cross. Minutes later, I heard shouts and swords clashing, but Dubh had already galloped out of their reach.
“Come on,” Anya whispered. “Please.”
We rode for hours, avoiding the main paths. I dozed between contractions that had grown steadier and closer together all night. Bekind rode in front of me, the hair on her back constantly bristling.
When the next contraction came, I breathed through my nose, my back arching as the pain worsened. I felt as if I were being ripped in half.
“We won’t make it,” Anya said. “Bekind, you need to reach the Miacha and bring them to us. Can you do that?”
The cat was gone before Anya could finish the question. I prayed, for the baby’s sake, that Bekind returned with the Miacha before it was too late. The sun was high, and sweat ran down my back. The urge to push grew in me.
“Anya,” I panted, “I have to stop. It’s happening.”
“No,” she cried. “Don’t let it. We’re not close enough yet.”
“I can’t.” I clenched my teeth as my body spasmed. “I can’t stop it.” I was out of control, lost to nature.
“Dubh, stop,” Anya pleaded.
Dubh slowed and came to a stop in a clearing. He knelt really low, and Anya dismounted then helped me down. Anya held my hand as my body convulsed again. I groaned through clenched teeth.
When it passed, Anya found a flat spot for me to lie down. “Do you want to kneel or—”
“No.” I gasped. “I have to lie down. I have to push now, Anya.”
She helped me over to the spot, and I lay on my back.
She lifted my skirt and pushed my knees up. “I’m so sorry, Cara. We have to do this here. I’m so sorry for this.”
I held my breath as another contraction forced me to push. I gave up before my body did, so exhausted that I couldn’t push any more. I was terrified. The entire pregnancy had been full of fear, but I hadn’t actually imagined what giving birth would be like. With the time at hand, it was the scariest experience in my entire life.
“No,” Anya said. “Don’t give up. We’re here. We have to go through with this. You’re going to do exactly what I tell you, and we’re going to deliver this baby.” She stared into my eyes. “Are you with me?”
I nodded, sweat pouring from my brow. Then I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the next rip of pain to come.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I wanted to scream. I wanted to unleash the scariest, most horrible sound the faery realm had ever heard. But with each push, I ground my teeth together and let my body do what it was supposed to do. I pushed down against the pain, imagining I would push it farther and farther away.
Between contractions, I stared up at the branches that swayed in the breeze. They sheltered us, protected us from sight, and one day, they might all be swallowed up by the taint. Sadler’s army was hunting us, and the only place we could hide was probably in the human realm because the Darksiders couldn’t afford to separate their forces. Travelling to the faery realm for help had sealed my fate and made me a pawn between kingdoms.
“This is good.” Anya sounded confident. “We can do this.” She held my leg and pressed it toward my chest. “Just hold it for longer next time. As long as you can, okay? Wait for the push, then keep it going. Trust me.”
I nodded, blowing my fringe off my face. The pain wasn’t so bad once I could actually do something about it. And maybe having a baby in the middle of a forest while a faery horse paced around us wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. At least the soil wasn’t tainted there. I dug my fingers into the earth, neutral territory, and sent out a mental prayer to a goddess I wasn’t sure existed.
One more push. One more clenched groan and the feeling I wasn’t even in my body anymore. I sank back, weakened.
“I can see the head.” Anya sounded excited. “Everything is okay. We’re going to be okay.” That had become her mantra.
Seconds passed. I almost dozed off again. Then Dubh whinnied loudly, and the sound of someone coming through the forest made all three of us look around worriedly.
Bekind appeared at the tree line. She skidded to a stop next to me then collapsed into an exhausted ball of fur. Three little women jumped down from some tree branches and came over to us.
Blue Eyes inspected me. “Almost there.”
Pink Eyes unrolled a blanket, apparently to wrap up the baby when it came.
Green Eyes put down her bundle and held my free hand. “Nearly there, my girl,” she whispered. She gave me some water.
I sipped gratefully then almost knocked the water away as another pain lanced through my abdomen.
I pressed my foot against Anya’s shoulder. She remained steady. I pushed as long and hard as I could, feeling a burning sensation between my legs.
“I can’t do it,” I whimpered as the throes faded. “I can’t do this.”
“Two more pushes and the baby will be free.” Blue Eyes took over from Anya. “You’ve done well, all of you, and it won’t be long now.”
The next push was the hardest. My body seemed to freeze up, refusing to do its job. Tears streamed from my eyes.
“Does she need help?” Pink Eyes murmured.
“Not at all.” Blue Eyes looked at me. “This time is everything, Cara. You must keep pushing. Do not stop. The baby needs to be born right now. Do you hear me?”
I held her gaze as the next contraction came. I pushed, feeling as though my body was breaking apart, but I didn’t stop. The women shouted with me as if they felt my pain. The burning stopped, and a gush of blessed release came.
I lay back, confused. “Is it over?”
“It’s over.” Anya crawled to my side. “She’s here, Cara. Your daughter is here.”
I wanted to cry. How could it be over? It felt like nothing in the end. Like… I didn’t even know what. “She’s not crying.” I tried not to freak out. “Why isn’t she crying?”
“Not all babies cry.” Green Eyes dabbed my face with a damp cloth. “And she’s early. Small. She’ll be a sleepy baby until she catches up.”
“Is she okay?” My voice wobbled. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did in tha
t moment.
“She’s healthy.” Blue Eyes bundled the baby up in a blanket. “More than healthy. Someone has been protecting her. Protective magic is all over her. Who did this?”
I shrugged. Maybe Brendan had when he claimed her as his heir, or maybe Drake when he whispered something to my belly, or maybe either king when they made me sleep and told me to heal. For all I knew, a goddess had watched over her.
Blue Eyes smiled at the baby. “You can hold her for a moment, but then it’s back to work.”
“What?”
“The afterbirth.” She passed the bundle to Anya. “The baby is safe, but you are not. We’ll need to get you home and take care of you. The journey isn’t over yet, I’m afraid.”
I wasn’t listening. I was too busy staring at the pink-stained bundle in Anya’s arms. Her eyes glistened with tears as she handed me my baby.
I inhaled sharply. She fit perfectly into my arms. The women fell silent as they felt what I felt. I couldn’t contain my emotions any more than I could feel anything but awe for what I had just created.
“Hold her against your chest,” Green Eyes whispered. She patted my cheek. “Lughnasadh is almost over. The time when we reap what we sow.”
I clutched the bundle to me, shocked by the feelings flooding me. My daughter was pink and shrivelled looking, smaller than I expected. Black hair was plastered to her head. A patch of silver in her hair on the left side of her head caught my eye. I touched it hesitantly.
“A rabbit’s paw,” Anya whispered. “The best of luck.”
Look at her,” I said. “I made her.”
My baby’s eyes were squeezed shut, and her fingers clutched the sheet. I couldn’t get over the fact she had been inside me, had survived against all odds. I couldn’t believe I had a daughter, that I was a mother. Me, a person so undeserving of love.
Her eyes fluttered open—violet-blue. She blinked a couple of times as if trying to focus. I knew she couldn’t see me, but I didn’t care.
“Hi.” I kissed her knuckles. “I’ve been waiting to meet you.”
“Let the pixie hold her for a few minutes,” Blue Eyes said. “It’s time to finish up here.”
As I handed my baby to Anya, I thought I caught a glimpse of green shimmers under her skin. I bit down on the emotions that invoked.
I kept my eyes on the bundle in Anya’s arms while I delivered the placenta. I expected the same pain, but it was nothing compared to what my body had just been through. I barely paid attention as the women hurriedly pressed padding between my legs to soak up the blood. A hospital couldn’t have treated me more quickly.
A mewling sound came from the baby. The sound of it made my entire body tingle.
“We’ll strap the baby to her,” Pink Eyes said. “They’ll be here soon.”
“Who will be here?” Anya demanded, looking fierce.
“She can’t ride a horse to our home,” Blue Eyes said matter-of-factly. “Your horse will help our donkey pull her along in a little cart. It won’t be comfortable, but it’s the best we can do right now. We need to bathe mother and daughter and encourage the baby to feed. She’s too sleepy right now. These first few days are important, pixie. Do not get in our way.”
“Anya,” I said, “let them do what they have to.”
She nodded, but she looked deflated when she had to hand the baby over. Green Eyes carefully strapped my daughter to my chest, then they shrouded us with a blanket. I stared at the baby for so long that I didn’t notice the cart arriving. I didn’t bat an eyelid when I had to travel on the uncomfortable cart. I couldn’t stop shaking, but a strange kind of contentment and satisfaction filled me. I had won. I had escaped. My child and I both lived. And the mirror… I wouldn’t think about that yet.
The Miacha fed me leaves for the pain and infection. They kept up a constant chatter during the ride. We weren’t as far from the Miacha’s home as I had assumed, but I didn’t care. I was in a dream, holding a perfect little baby who fit against me as if we had been moulded that way. The warmth of her, the feeling of her skin against mine… my heart overflowed with love for her. I had loved her when she was in the womb, but the new feeling was… indescribable. I had worried we wouldn’t bond, wouldn’t connect, but I had never felt love before I laid eyes on her. I wanted to protect her always.
I stroked her hair, amused by the patch of silver, and whispered to her as if she could understand the words.
Anya walked next to the cart, smiling fondly at us. “What are you going to call her?”
I looked at the pursed red lips of my daughter and grinned. “I think I’m going to call her Scarlet.” And then I whispered three words into my child’s ear. Her true name. The name I would never tell another soul.
***
I didn’t remember much about arriving at the Miachas’ home. It was all a haze. I half-expected to wake up in Sadler’s castle at any second. I was aware of wincing when the baby was taken from me, sucking in a breath as the Miacha stitched up a small tear that had occurred during delivery, and panicking when the baby refused to take my breast.
“She won’t feed,” I said. “How am I going to feed her if she won’t take my milk?”
“Keep trying,” Green Eyes said. “That’s how every woman learns, how every baby learns. She came too early. She’ll need more time than others. You’ll stay here until she learns. Don’t worry. She’s fine.”
“Is Cara fine?” Anya asked, sitting beside the bed. “There was a lot of blood.”
“Babies are messy work,” Blue Eyes said with a laugh as she came into the room. “And Cara is young and healthy. She’ll have no problem recovering. She’s strong and fit, and she’ll be an excellent mother.” She brushed my fringe from my forehead. “And she’s going to have to decide what she’s going to do next. Someone will come for her eventually. We won’t be able to hide forever.”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” I said. “As long as we stay here, some king or another is going to use us to get what he wants. And as long as they’re warring here, the human realm is safe. Sadler’s army is small. He can’t divide it to look for me, not with both Drake and Brendan on his back. And I know this isn’t over—there are faeries back home, too—but I need Scarlet to grow up away from the magic.” I took a deep breath. “So I’m going home, back to the human realm. Scarlet is still Brendan’s heir. That has to count for something, and it’ll be easier for him to protect her from fae in the human realm than an army in the faery one.”
“What about Sadler?” Bekind asked from her perch on the window ledge.
I gave a little shrug. “He could be dead.”
“No signs of his death so far,” Green Eyes said. “He’s alive as far as the realm knows.”
“Then he’s dying,” I said. “And he’ll want my baby. He needs another Deorad.”
“He could find someone else,” Anya said.
I looked at Blue Eyes. “Can you help me get home?”
Bekind snorted. “You mean help us.”
I gave her a weary look. “I can’t ask you to leave this place.”
“You didn’t ask. I’m telling you I’m going with you.” She stormed out of the room.
“I’m coming, too,” Anya said. “I’ll help you care for the baby and help protect her from the fae who will come.”
“They’ll have to find us first,” I said, feeling fierce at the idea anyone wanting to harm my child. She was mine. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. But it filled me with confidence to know that both Bekind and Anya would be there to help me, even if Brendan didn’t send someone to protect Scarlet.
“We can help you home,” Blue Eyes said. “But what do we tell the ones looking for you?”
“Explain what happened with Deorad and Sadler.” I kissed Scarlet’s forehead. “And tell them I don’t need them anymore and that I said goodbye.”
***
I awoke from a nap to the baby’s whimpering. I lifted her from the makeshift crib and held her against my breast.
She tried to latch on, but she couldn’t, and I could tell she was frustrated. I felt like a failure. What did I know about nurturing a child?
“You’re still the queen,” Bekind said, surprising me.
“I didn’t see you there.” I frowned as Scarlet turned her head away from my breast. “Why can’t I do this?”
“It’ll come in time. She won’t starve.”
“What if there’s no milk or—”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She waved at Scarlet. “You have everything you need to take care of the child. It’s hard for the first month or so, but it gets easier. She’ll take from you when she’s ready, then you’ll never get a moment to yourself.”
“You sound experienced.”
“I’ve been where you are right now.” She sighed. “You can’t just walk away and pretend none of this happened.”
“I killed Deorad. I’m not pretending that didn’t happen.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She avoided my eyes. “You haven’t asked me about Sadler.”
“I’ve asked you lots of questions. I never get an answer until you’re ready to give one. Are you ready to tell me?”
She nodded and sat on the bed. I covered up and, on a whim, handed her the baby.
Bekind gathered Scarlet into her arms and gazed at her as if awestruck. She brushed Scarlet’s hair, her eyes glistening. “The next generation. She’s beautiful. I’m glad she’s a girl.” She returned Scarlet to me then shivered. “I want to tell you, but I hate remembering. I hate the memories.”
I bit my lip. “Does it have something to do with the memory we saw in the Hauntings? The little girl and boy. And a black cat.”
She nodded glumly. “Those were his memories, the boy’s. Cormac was your ancestor, Donella’s son.”
“And you were the girl?”
“Yes. Donella felt she had a responsibility to have a child, and once Cormac was born, she decided he would rise in ranks and become someone… worthy. I was an orphan and lived on the estate. We shared a nurse, I think, and then we were playmates. Donella was never around. She had moved on from… his father and was after Sadler, always trying to raise her station in life.”