Chapter Eleven
I hadn’t gone for a run since finding out I was pregnant. It wasn’t as though I thought I was made of glass, but I had put my little embryo through a lot of stress, and I didn’t want to take any more chances.
So when I headed outside to wander in the gardens early the following morning, a lot of nosy fae were disappointed. They had followed me in groups of three or four, but slowly lost interest when it grew apparent that I wasn’t going to run around in circles or race Brendan this time.
I strolled amongst the black roses. I had once thought them a little chilling, but with all I’d gone through to get back, they seemed familiar and inviting. I remembered the black rose and white Brighid’s flower that had been entwined on the gate in the human realm. I remembered when Brendan had scoffed at the idea of living in a castle again. I remembered when I had looked in a mirror and saw the deaths of all of my friends. Back amongst the fae, I found it difficult to forget some things, yet I had already half-forgotten the human realm.
“They even bloom at night.”
I turned to look and took a step back. “Ronnie? Is that you?”
My old college lecturer gave me a shy smile with lips that were bloody and bruised from being bitten. Her once-long fair hair had been cropped short. She wore a loose-fitting shift dress that made her look childish, and her striking blue eyes were bigger than ever with the taint of her madness.
“Me,” she breathed. “Yes, it is. And you’re back.” She gave the curve of my stomach an envious look.
I wrapped my cloak tighter around me. I had taken to wearing it a lot. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was a reminder of better days. Maybe I wanted to shelter myself from those days. Seeing Ronnie made me want to retreat altogether.
“I heard about the baby,” she said in a soft voice, but her eyes had gone hard and icy.
“Yeah, I, um…” I held out my hands. “But you’re okay! I had no idea what happened to you before.”
“I forget some of it, but when the great king Brendan returned, he brought me here. I’m to be treated like a very important person. Like Cara.” She giggled, and the sound was the creepiest I had ever heard in my life. “I’m just like Cara.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “But Cara got everything.”
I took a couple of steps back, but she advanced on me.
She licked her lips. “My son is your baby’s uncle. Blood relatives.”
I had no idea what to say to that.
“You could take me home,” she said. “Couldn’t you? We could run together, make sure the baby is safe from his father. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it? Aren’t you scared? Aren’t you afraid he’ll come for your baby, too?”
“Deorad’s dead,” I said firmly, trying to remain calm. She was a sick woman, and that wasn’t her fault.
“Oh, yes.” She stared at something over my shoulder. “I had forgotten that part.” She giggled again. “There was a lot of blood, wasn’t there?”
I nodded, stunned by the change in her.
“There’s a light behind you.”
I looked in spite of myself. Something golden was zooming through the air, straight at me. With a grin, I took a step toward the light. Remembering Ronnie, I glanced back, but she was gone. Trying to shake off the chill running down my spine, I ran to meet Realtín.
She flew at me and dropped damp kisses all over my face like an over-excited dog.
“Where’s Grim?” I asked, laughing at her excitement.
“In the carriage. I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait!” She hovered in front of me for a long moment, just looking at me. “I thought we would never see you again. I should have known you couldn’t keep away. I should have known you would figure it out!”
“I’ve missed you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I didn’t know if you were alive even, if you made it back with Líle.”
She hissed, her light turning red. “Have you seen her?”
“Yeah. She’s not the way I expected her to be.”
“It’s a shame.” She shook her head. “She’s with that traitor now. She took his side. How could she? How could he?” Red streams erupted in every direction.
“Calm down before you explode. Let’s go meet Grim.”
She led the way, stopping to stare at me every two seconds. “Aren’t you mad at Drake?”
I shrugged. “What’s the point? He doesn’t even care.”
Her red beady eyes found my stomach. “And it’s true. There’s a child.” She shivered. “I’m scared for you, Cara. This is dangerous.”
“I’m scared, too. But we’ll be okay, right?”
“Of course.” Her voice shook, but she was soon distracted. “Look, the carriage is turning into the gates already. But I won.”
We reached the castle entrance before the carriage pulled to a stop. Dubh tossed his head and stamped his feet until I greeted him. Grim descended, and some faeries came to take Dubh away. When he saw me, his face lit up into a huge smile.
I got on my knees to hug him. He didn’t care who was watching, so neither did I. Realtín made funny little squeaking noises as she few around our heads.
“We have a lot to discuss,” Grim said.
“Don’t I know it.” I stood. “Get inside before we shock the realm.”
Arlen greeted him at the door. “You’re to come to Brendan immediately.”
“Cara—” Grim began.
“She can come, too. There’ll be no others apart from me.”
We followed Arlen upstairs and onto the floor our quarters were on. To my surprise, Arlen knocked on the door of the room next to mine. Brendan called for us to enter, and Arlen opened the door, gesturing for us to go ahead of him.
Brendan’s suite was luxurious but not much bigger than mine. My eyes were drawn to the massive bed that lay behind the first door we passed. We stepped into the living room part of his quarters, where Brendan was sitting in front of the fire, reading a book.
“It’s good to see you back safe and well.” He laid down the book. “Sit. All of you. I knew I couldn’t separate you from Cara so soon. I have a meal on the way. Try to catch your breath before we begin.”
Grim and I sat together on a small couch. Realtín perched on my shoulder, her small hands touching my neck constantly. Brendan smiled at her, genuinely amused. Arlen sat in an armchair, but he didn’t look relaxed at all.
“How was the journey?” Brendan asked. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”
“We heard Cara was back,” Realtín said indignantly.
He raised a questioning brow. “How did you hear?”
“The word is already running rampant that you have an heir. Some say the child is yours, some his,” Grim said. “What were you thinking, Brendan?”
I flinched, wondering how Brendan would take that.
The king gave Grim one of his lazy smiles. “I was thinking to protect her. What else could I have done?”
Grim gave him a look that said there was something they weren’t saying in front of me.
“Forget that,” Brendan said. “How was the news received around the realm?”
“Well, by some,” Grim replied. “You know how it is. Everyone’s happy when there’s a line of succession.” He bowed his head. “Almost everyone.”
The meal arrived. Everyone picked at their food. Tension hung heavy in the air, and I guessed Grim’s trip had been important.
“So,” Brendan said at last, “is there news?”
“Little,” Grim said. “Less is good.”
Brendan sighed. “Break it to me.”
“The Darksiders are definitely encroaching. Most of the tribes I met with had been approached already by emissaries from the Chaos Court. They’re good, whoever they are. Stated a good case. Ours wasn’t much better. Everyone is terrified of being lost to the Darkside. Sadler has played on that.”
“How is he even alive?” I blurted. “He was sick and old and dying at the trials.”
??
?Nobody knows,” Arlen said. “Trickery perhaps.”
Brendan steepled his fingers. “Until I see him, I won’t believe it. For all we know, he’s dead and buried already. Is there any good news?”
Grim shrugged. “Some claimed to be on their way to pledge their fealty. Most are still undecided. Apparently, three kings are too many.”
“I don’t disagree.”
“If it’s any consolation, I believe your numbers grow quicker than Drake’s.”
Brendan shook his head. “The daoine sídhe want to meet again. Let’s hope there’s no bloodshed this time. Their loyalty has proved their downfall of late.”
“What does that mean for Dymphna?” I asked.
Arlen inclined his head. “Drake took her daughter into his care. They both live in his court. We understand why she remains loyal to him.” He looked at Grim. “Are there rumours of an attack planned by Sadler?”
“Plenty,” Grim said. “And the Great Forest is still unsafe for travel. That’s a double-edged sword because this is the one reason more fae haven’t turned to Sadler. They dislike the Darksiders and are suspicious of them. That won’t last forever. They’ll soon grow used to the changes.”
“And any of them could be stuck on the wrong side if the darkness keeps growing,” Brendan said. “It’s a strange turn of events.”
“You need to declare a friendship with Drake as soon as possible,” Grim said.
Realtín flew over Brendan’s head. “He’s a traitor.”
“A faery king can’t be seen to make decisions based on loyalty to a human.” Brendan swatted Realtín out of the air and held her to his chest. She froze, too unsure of herself to even struggle. “And the boy did what he thought was best. He’s been alone for most of his life. Go easy on him.”
Grim cleared his throat, apparently ignoring the fact his tiny soul mate was being clutched to the chest of a dangerously strong king. “Those inclined toward Chaos are likely already siding with Sadler. Those who want no part in war will be keen to stay within the neutral state.”
Brendan set Realtín free. She flew up like an arrow before stopping to make obscene gestures. Her light was more golden than ever, so she was definitely pleased with herself.
“There’ll be nothing official anytime soon,” Brendan said. “Drake has… conditions before he’ll agree to an official alliance.”
Grim nodded. “I take it one of those is a joint declaration of war against his grandfather.”
Brendan looked exhausted. “His anger has deepened, and there’s nobody to temper him in that castle on a cliff top. He is surrounded by banshees and the likes of Nella. She’s desperate to put Sadler in his place. She’ll use Drake to get it, and he won’t care as long as nothing gets in the way of his vendetta.”
Everything had gotten a lot darker since I’d left my friends. They were split up and talking about war. Brendan and Drake were real rivals, and they only needed to destroy Sadler before turning on each other. Where did that leave me? If I was carrying Brendan’s named heir, did that mean Drake would want me dead? His own child? He was dual-sided. How could I know which side of his nature would dominate? I couldn’t until it was too late. I shivered.
The conversation continued with Grim telling Brendan more details about his journey. It sounded bad to me, as though the faery realm had begun spinning violently out of control once three branded kings existed at once. Two was tough. Three was a disaster. When Grim finished, Brendan dismissed everyone but me.
“I need to tell you something,” he said when they left. He looked nervous.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, dread filling the pit of my stomach.
He sat on the sofa next to me and licked his lips. “I know you don’t like what I’ve done.” He extended a hand toward my stomach but dropped it before making contact. “I can only work with the little I have. I’ve barely formed an army. If it wasn’t for Drake, Sadler would already have attacked and likely won. I’m doing what’s best for you, but the thing is… we need to make this official.”
My breath caught in my throat. Official?
“While Drake and the others are here, we need to hold a feast in honour of our new ties.”
“Oh. Oh.”
“I know it’s difficult, but you’ll need to be there. You’ll tie your child to me by proxy. There’s a short ceremony, then nobody can doubt your child is under my protection. Do you understand? That you’ll need to face everyone?”
I nodded slowly. “You mean Drake and Sorcha.”
“And Nella. It’s not a pleasant trio. I’m not sure how Drake has held on to his sanity, all things considered.”
“They can’t be that bad,” I said, trying to hold the higher ground.
“They’re worse, and you know it. So will you indulge me? Let me put on a show?”
“Is this for my child or to get one up on Drake?”
He frowned. “Can it not be both?”
I laughed. “I’ve missed you, you idiot. You promise this will protect the baby? That people will actually care?”
“I promise. Until I have a child, people will care very much. Do you hate that?”
I looked away. “I don’t know what to think about it. I feel like it’s more dangerous for us here.”
“Us. You’re already a mother.”
My cheeks burned. “Not a very good one.”
“You’ve made a sacrifice to come here. I think that’s what parenthood is about—giving up what you have to make a better life for the being you’ve created.”
“I wish it was that easy.” I blew out a heavy sigh. “So when’s the ceremony?”
“Tonight. I figured you would want to get it over and done with.”
“Do I have to speak to Sorcha?”
“Beyond a greeting? I doubt it.”
“Fine. I’ll do it. It’s not like I have a choice. So what’s with the castle, show-off? Thought this wasn’t home for you.”
“People see this as the true court of old.” He shrugged. “Better that I have it than Sadler. He would be the type to steal it while I resided in the human realm. I miss it there. I tire of the politics already.”
“That’s because it’s boring. Brendan…” I waited for him to look at me. “What would happen if you died tomorrow?”
“Your child would inherit my throne.” He sounded wary.
“An unborn child? Somebody else would have to rule until she was old enough, so what if that person hates me? What if they get rid of me to keep the throne for themselves? What happens then?”
He reached out and touched my cheek. “That won’t happen. I’ve thought of all of these things. Believe me. It’s something we’re born knowing about our lives. I have organised everything in case of my death. And according to some, I’ve died twice already. What’s a little death?”
“The third time will stick,” I said sharply.
He grinned, taking me back to other times. “Are you worried for me, human?”
“As if I would waste my time,” I said, but I smiled back at him.
He took my hand and brushed his thumb across my painted nails. “Green.”
It wasn’t a question, but I felt like I should answer. “I wanted to fit in. It’s still your colour.”
“That it is. What colour will you wear tonight?”
I shrugged. “I thought you decided that shit for me.”
He cocked his head. “I’ll let you surprise me for a change.”
I made a face. “For a change? I always surprise you. You weren’t sitting in the Fade waiting for me to show up.”
“That I wasn’t.”
I stood. “I should go catch up with Grim and Realtín before she busts through the door.”
“Psychotic little sprite.” He got to his feet. “It’s odd, but I’ve been wondering about you lately. It’s as though I thought of you, and you appeared.”
“What were you wondering?”
“Back when Drake and I shared a body, you and I shared something, t
oo. I wondered if it was a quirk of the circumstance, his, or rather my body reacting to yours. After we left the Fade, I never really had the opportunity to test out a theory.”
My throat was suddenly dry. “What theory?” I whispered.
His thumb ran across my lower lip. My pulse quickened. He was tall and broad and intimidating and everything that Drake wasn’t. I had wondered, too.
“I had a theory that you liked me in spite of Drake’s body, not because of it. When I left the Fade, I saw how you looked at me.”
“How did I look at you?”
“As though you liked what you saw.” His gaze turned dangerously dark, and his voice dropped an octave. “You still don’t look displeased.”
I remembered how he had already dismissed a chance of anything between us and aimed for a smart remark to bring us back on track. “You’re not as pretty.”
He smirked and pulled me closer. “No.”
“I…” I couldn’t think of one thing to say. He was too close, too clever, and too far out of my league. He was officially a king. Everything was different.
He bent low, keeping his eyes on mine. Someone knocked on the door.
His eyebrow quirked, and he released me. “Lucky you. Saved again.”
“Saved,” I said scornfully. “You don’t scare me.” I started to brush past him, but he got in my way.
“Don’t I?”
I tried to move around him, but he sidestepped again. A cat tormenting a mouse. “Stop it, Brendan.”
“Then tell me the truth.”
I knew he was teasing me. I knew it, but I felt every word against my skin like a caress. What was wrong with me?
“The truth is…” I curved my body against his, lifted my hand to his face, and ran my fingers across the scar on his forehead. It caught my eye every time I looked at him. I liked it, liked the way it changed his face.
“The truth,” he whispered.
“The truth is,” I repeated. I looked into his green eyes and realised we had both gone too far. “The truth is that I’m on my way out of your room before we act even more stupidly than we already have. You said things to me that were very clear, Brendan. I won’t ruin what I think is a good friendship for a stolen moment every now and then.”