Read Queen Page 64

make you stay. -

  She knew that they didn't understand why she was telling them what they

  already knew.

  "And so you are free," she said. "Free to do what you want, go where you

  will."

  The reaction surprised her, for there was none. She could hear the wind

  rustling in the leafless branches of the trees, but she could not even hear

  the slaves breathe. Then she became aware of another sound, close to her.

  Queen standing two feet behind her, as if to reinforce her own position,

  was crying.

  "There is nowhere you can go, except,to the enemy, for in the South, if you

  go and you are caught, you will be treated as runaways. And if you go to

  the North, you will be enlisted into the army, to fight against us.

  Possibly to die."

  She was surrounded by bewilderment. Freedom had come, but somehow it seemed

  empty. Jeremiah spoke for the many.

  "What c'n we do, Missy?" he asked Sally.

  "You can stay," she said. "I need you to work the land. I cannot pay you

  anything, but I will share with you what we have. You will eat as we eat,

  and live as we live. When the war is over and the Massa returns, when the

  future is clearer, we may make other arrangements. For the moment, all I

  can offer you is a safe place to be, a roof for your heads, and a bed to

  sleep in."

  She stopped. It was too hard; she couldn't do it. All her formidable

  resources suddenly deserted her, and she wanted to break down and weep. It

  had come to this: It was she who had to bring the whole house of cards

  tumbling down. And it had been so easy. And yet it was too hard. Tears

  filled her eyes. She could not bear that they might go, she feared too

  genuinely for their welfare, and her own and her family's, but she could

  not believe that they might stay.

  QUEEN 529

  "What you gwine do if'n we go?" Jeremiah asked her.

  "I don't know," Sally told him honestly. "Pray for you. Pray for all of

  us."

  There was silence again, and the sound of shuffling feet. Jeremiah was

  the spokesman, the leader. It rested on him. The weight of the decision

  frustrated him. It had all seemed so easy. They would be free and they

  would go and make new lives for themselves. But they were free, and where

  could they go? Very few of them actually wanted to go North now. It was

  alien land to them, enemy country, and filled with war and danger. Most

  of them had been bom and grown up on this plantation; very few of them

  had any concept of the world beyond it, and those who did, like Jeremiah,

  had no affection for it. In the short days of his escape, he had never

  been so hungry in his life. He could go, and make it to Union lines, and

  even join the army, fight for freedom, but he had freedom, Missy Sally

  had given it to him, so what was there to fight for'? Here was food, here

  was shelter, here was what he knew. This was his place. It was so easy.

  Everything else was too hard.

  "An' if'n we stay, we free?" he asked, trying to establish his options.

  "If you stay, you are free," Sally assured him.

  Jeremiah shrugged.

  "I reckon I gwine stay, fo' a Fil while, anyways," he told the others.

  "This here the only home I got."

  He walked away, and slowly the others followed. They talked about it

  later, when Sally was gone, and most of them agreed with Jeremiah. They

  would stay, for a little while anyway, because they had no other place

  to go. What astonished them was that they felt no different, now that

  they were free. It took some little while for them to comprehend the

  majesty of what they had. And when they did, they had a party.

  Sally stood in the clearing, watching the slaves shuffle away. She had

  won; she had achieved what had to be done; she had ensured, for the moment

  at least, the survival of her family, in some form or other. Later

  decisions were for later. If, as the truth of their new situation dawned

  on them, some few ran away, she would cope with that then. If, by some

  miracle, the

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  South won the war, which Sally didn't believe was going to happen, the

  institution of slavery would have to change, and they would face those

  complications then. If, when Jass came home, he wanted to rescind her order,

  that was his business and would be coped with then, but he could only do it

  if there was a Southern victory. All Sally had done, she told herself, was

  to accept the inevitable. At this moment, the whites needed the nigras to

  survive, and, at this moment, survival was all she cared about.

  She turned to Queen. Drained of all energy, she needed the girl's help to

  walk back to the big house.

  But Queen was not there.

  Terrified by the prospects Sally had offered the slaves, for Queen had no

  doubt she was included, she ran to her mother's grave, and knelt beside it.

  "I's free, Mammy, I's free," she whispered.

  And wondered why she was so very scared.

  61

  The war ground on, each day bringing them closer to a conclusion that even

  the most sanguine Southerner began to accept as inevitable. They hardly

  understood why they fought anymore. For every inch of ground they gained,

  they seemed to lose two. But not to fight was unthinkable. A stand had been

  taken and must be upheld. They no longer fought to win, they fought not to

  lose, but every battle seemed to bring retreat, or, if it was won, news of

  another loss elsewhere.

  Jass could justifiably have applied for leave on many occasions, to go home

  and spend some days with his family, but he chose not to. His life had

  become war, and unfamiliar country places its battlegrounds. Edwards Depot

  and Big Black Bridge. Fort Hudson and Champion Hills. Vicksburg. They

  abandoned Mississippi, harried every inch of the way by the

  QUEEN 531

  avenging General Grant, and his regiment, or what was left of it, was sent

  to Georgia. Every skirmish lost, every yard of ground surrendered, brought

  Jass closer to home, until he thought he must stand and fight alone on the

  very steps of The Forks of Cypress. Wounds had hardly healed before new

  injuries claimed his attention, but he was impervious to them now, inured

  to pain. He was as indifferent to the recognitions of his valor that were

  bestowed upon him; his medals had no more meaning to him than his scars.

  Honor was his only armor, and this he wore with immeasurable pride. He had

  no fear of death, for it was a proper alternative to defeat, but it eluded

  him and condemned him to face the greater loss, of country, and of cause.

  When they told him that he must lose an arm, smashed up in a battle for

  an indefensible mountain pass at Kennesaw, he had only two questions.

  "Will I be discharged?" was the first.

  The doctor shook his head. "Colonels don't need two arms," he said,

  preparing for the operation. "But we need every man we can get."

  Jass could face the rest of his life wit
hout an arm, for the odds were

  that his life would not be long. He could not live with failure.

  "Will it hurt?" he asked, as the doctor picked up a saw.

  "Like thunder," the doctor told him, nodding at two orderlies to hold

  Jass down. "And I have nothing to ease the pain."

  Jass nodded and closed his eyes. He felt the firm grip of the orderlies,

  and then a searing, screaming pain as the doctor began his work.

  Florence fell again to the Yankees, and the citizens lived in fear of the

  destruction that must come. Atlanta was gone, burned, burned to the

  ground, not one brick of the proud and noble city left. Sweet Atlanta,

  capital of Southern dreams, gone to ashes. Sherman was marching from there

  to the sea, his army leaving a swath of desolation and destruction, of

  barren land, in its wake. Any Southern victory, no matter how small, was

  followed by a Yankee retribution many times greater than the provocation.

  But Florence was not destroyed.

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  Colonel William Hamilton of the U.S. Army was a gracious soldier, who

  sought victory, not vengeance. He established his headquarters at the

  Coffee plantation, and concerned himself for the welfare of his unwilling

  hosts. He gave orders that the citizens were not to be molested, and came

  to be known as "the good Yankee" for his charity.

  He attended the funeral of Tom Kirkman, who had died, wom out from worry

  and overwork and loss of faith in the future, and was gracious to

  Elizabeth, the widow, and to Sally and Lizzie, who no longer cared if

  solace wore blue or gray. Death was a constant in their lives. Tom, and

  his son James, killed in battle, and his little granddaughter, Ellen,

  Sam's child. Every woman in Florence wore black, not just to the funeral,

  for every woman had reason to, and the most fervent prayer of all of them

  was that the nightmare end soon.

  Yet it was not to be. Already, a Confederate force under General Forrest

  was moving upriver toward the town, which must become a battleground

  again, and while they longed to be ruled by their own, they wanted the

  war to be over.

  Sally dared to ask Colonel Hamilton when he thought the end would come,

  and he was kind but not gentle to her.

  "When you give in," he smiled. "Or when we conquer you, for that will be

  the inevitable result of your failure to surrender. Apart from those

  already under arms, we are amassing an army of half a million men, and

  you cannot withstand that. "

  Sally turned away, appalled by the immensity of it, and by the bleakness

  of their prospects. Hamilton was a reasonable man in victory. She could

  not imagine every Yankee would be the same.

  "The South cannot win, and the North will not lose," he continued. "What

  should be of greater concern to all of us is what happens afterward."

  That, at least, Sally could agree with, and thoughts of a postwar South

  troubled her mind as they rode home. They would have no slaves, and while

  she doubted that there would be a mass migration of blacks from South to

  North, she understood that the relationship between the races would be

  radically changed. It was already. Perhaps half her freed slaves had

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  stayed; the others had drifted away as opportunity presented itself, or

  dreaming provoked. Some younger men had enlisted in the Union Army, and

  two girls had become whores, camp followers of Northern troops. Those that

  were left at The Forks were different people now, truculent if given

  orders, lazy if they did not understand why something had to be done. They

  worked for themselves rather than the general good, as if preparing for

  the time when they would leave.

  As the blacks became more self-reliant, less dependent on their former

  Massas and Missys, so the whites withdrew into themselves, isolating

  themselves, and the previous free discourse between the two races was at

  a minimum. Sally had not been alone in her precipitate action of freeing

  the slaves, and awful stories reached them of blacks taking vengeance on

  their erstwhile Massas. Some houses had been burned to the ground before

  the blacks escaped to the North, and, in one scandalous case, some bucks

  had whipped their aging Massa. It foreshadowed the chaos that every white

  believed would accompany black freedom, and even at The Forks the women

  did not feel safe.

  Jeremiah, who, to Sally's surprise, had stayed, was hardly with them

  anymore, making himself invaluable to the Union troops, shoeing their

  horses, hammering their iron, and receiving payment for his services. It

  was only a matter of time before they lost him, Sally was sure.

  Queen had stayed. Inevitably, Sally thought, and it was Queen who

  concerned her now. In the coming postwar society of whites, there would

  be no room for Queen, who was trying to insinuate herself more and more

  into the family's embrace. There had been an altercation that morning,

  when Lizzie had refused to allow Queen to attend Tom's funeral.

  "But he family," Queen grumbled.

  "Not your family," Lizzie snapped, thinking that was the end of it.

  But it was not the end of it. Sally knew there was more to be done. It

  would be hard and it would be cruel, but it was unavoidable.

  Queen herself provided the opportunity. There was no tea or real coffee

  because of the Northern blockade of Southern

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  ports, but they had developed a curious substitute out of ground-up hickory

  acorns. Queen brought a cup of the brew to Sally in the sitting room. Lizzie

  was upstairs, supervising William's schoolwork. Little James and Eleanor

  were napping.

  Sally sipped her drink, and Queen did not leave. She asked a few questions

  about the funeral, still obviously irked that she had been barred from

  attending, and then announced her news.

  "Jeremiah gone," she said. "Jus' upped an' left. Didn't even say to tell

  you good-bye."

  Sally nodded, for it came as no surprise to her. She also knew that Queen

  was reminding her of her own loyalty.

  "Do we know where he has gone?" she asked Queen.

  "Workin' for the Yankee army, I guess," Queen shrugged. "He jus' a

  no-account nigger."

  She went to the door, but Sally spoke before she left the room.

  "And where will you go, Queen?" she said.

  Queen stopped. Perhaps it was the moment she had been dreading.

  "Now you are free, you must think about where you will go, and what you

  will do," Sally continued.

  Queen did not turn to look at her.

  "I ain't going nowhere," she muttered. "I stay here and serve you. "

  The tiny silence that followed was filled with volumes of unspoken emotion.

  The inevitable confrontation had come, and Queen prayed with all her heart

  that Sally would give her the answer she longed to hear, and refused to

  consider that she would not.

  "We have no place for you here," Sally said softly, and the words formed

 
ice in Queen's heart.

  Still Queen did not look at her.

  "But this is my home," she whispered.

  She should have turned to Sally, for then she would have seen the tiny

  tears that Sally now brusquely brushed away. There was another silence,

  while Sally composed herself to the task at hand. It was not easy for her,

  because she loved Queen. But nothing was easy for her these days, and it

  had to be done. For both their sakes.

  "The world as we know it has gone," Sally said, more

  QUEEN 535

  calmly than she felt. "And it can only get worse. We cannot feed the

  family even now, and after the war I don't know what we will do."

  Now Queen turned to her, ran to her, knelt at her feet. But it was too

  late.

  "I help you, Missy," she cried. "I cook and clean and garden. I do

  everything!"

  Sally took her sweet face in her hands. Oh, she loved Queen and did not

  want her to go. But she could not let her stay.

  "Child, we love you and have tried to do right by you," she said. "But

  you are a nigra, and the times will be hard. Your best place will be with

  your own people."

  Queen was shaking her head, fighting Sally's grip, wanting her embrace.

  "I ain't a nigra, I's white!" she screamed. "My pappy won't let you turn

  me away!"

  Sally used all her strength to hold the girl's face firm, and looked hard

  into her eyes. She spoke with absolute resolve.

  "You must never think of Colonel Jackson as your pappy," she commanded.

  "You are a child of the plantation, like thousands upon thousands of

  others. And that is all."

  Queen could not believe the firmness of Sally's voice, or the coldness

  in her eyes, or the truth of what she was hearing.

  "No!" she screamed again. "I'll never leave. You are my people! -

  She scrabbled to her feet, and ran to the door.

  "You are my family!" she shouted angrily at Sally. She left the room,

  slamming the door.

  Alone, Sally found that her distress was battling a deep and rising anger.

  They had been so stupid. There should never have been union. After an

  alliance with the North to drive out the British, the Southern states

  should have gone their own way, formed their confederacy then, all those

  years ago, and none of these present disasters would have happened. Some

  few, romantic, idealistic men had rammed through a panAmerican concept

  with scant regard for the people it might affect the most. Like the

  Indians, the nigras had never been seriously considered by the founding

  fathers,-in their rush to white independence, the Northerners because they

  had so few

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  of them, the South because they had no problem. But it was not possible,

  and never had been, for slave states to imagine they could share

  government with slave-free states. And like the Indians in the grab for

  land, who was paying the price of this lack of foresight now but those

  same nigras that everyone claimed they were fighting to protect? If the

  South had gone its own way, become its own country eighty years ago, then

  Queen's predicament would never have arisen. Oh, they had been so happy.

  Why could not those damn Yankees leave them alone?

  Queen had no such thoughts. Filled with an anger far more complex than

  Sally's, and a hurt and a loneliness far-deeper, she ran from the house,

  without any sense of purpose or direction. She might have run to the

  graveyard and called her distress to her mammy, but it was not her mammy

  she needed now, and not self-pity that possessed her, but rather a raging

  anger at her dispossession. She ran to the deserted weaving house instead,

  and fell on the bed where she had been conceived, weeping, and called out

  her love for her pappy.

  62

  When peace came, in a gentle spring, it was not as a benediction but as

  an anticlimax, coupled with relief and an absolute sense of desolation.

  They hardly dared look at the ravaged country, for there was nothing. What