CHAPTER II
THE ADVICE OF SERGEANT QUICK
At this moment a fearful hubbub arose without. The front door slammed,a cab drove off furiously, a policeman's whistle blew, heavy feetwere heard trampling; then came an invocation of "In the King's name,"answered by "Yes, and the Queen's, and the rest of the Royal Family's,and if you want it, take it, you chuckle-headed, flat-footed,pot-bellied Peelers."
Then followed tumult indescribable as of heavy men and things rollingdown the stairs, with cries of fear and indignation.
"What the dickens is that?" asked Higgs.
"The voice sounded like that of Samuel--I mean Sergeant Quick," answeredCaptain Orme with evident alarm; "what can he be after? Oh, I know,it is something to do with that infernal mummy you unwrapped thisafternoon, and asked him to bring round after dinner."
Just then the door burst open, and a tall, soldier-like form stalked in,carrying in his arms a corpse wrapped in a sheet, which he laid upon thetable among the wine glasses.
"I'm sorry, Captain," he said, addressing Orme, "but I've lost the headof the departed. I think it is at the bottom of the stairs with thepolice. Had nothing else to defend myself with, sir, against theirunwarranted attacks, so brought the body to the present and charged,thinking it very stiff and strong, but regret to say neck snapped, andthat deceased's head is now under arrest."
As Sergeant Quick finished speaking, the door opened again, and throughit appeared two very flurried and dishevelled policemen, one of whomheld, as far as possible from his person, the grizzly head of a mummy bythe long hair which still adhered to the skull.
"What do you mean by breaking into my rooms like this? Where's yourwarrant?" asked the indignant Higgs in his high voice.
"There!" answered the first policeman, pointing to the sheet-wrappedform on the table.
"And here!" added the second, holding up the awful head. "As in dutybound, we ask explanation from that man of the secret conveyance of acorpse through the open streets, whereon he assaults us with the same,for which assault, pending investigation of the corpse, I arrest him.Now, Guv'nor" (addressing Sergeant Quick), "will you come along with usquietly, or must we take you?"
The Sergeant, who seemed to be inarticulate with wrath, made a dash forthe shrouded object on the table, with the intention, apparently, ofonce more using it as a weapon of offence, and the policemen drew theirbatons.
"Stop," said Orme, thrusting himself between the combatants, "are youall mad? Do you know that this woman died about four thousand yearsago?"
"Oh, Lord!" said the policeman who held the head, addressing hiscompanion, "it must be one of them mummies what they dig up in theBritish Museum. Seems pretty ancient and spicy, don't it?" and hesniffed at the head, then set it down upon the table.
Explanations followed, and after the wounded dignity of the two officersof the Force had been soothed with sundry glasses of port wine and awritten list of the names of all concerned, including that of the mummy,they departed.
"You take my advice, bobbies," I heard the indignant Sergeant declaimoutside the door, "and don't you believe things is always what theyseem. A party ain't necessarily drunk because he rolls about and fallsdown in the street; he may be mad, or 'ungry, or epileptic, and a bodyain't always a body jest because it's dead and cold and stiff. Why, men,as you've seen, it may be a mummy, which is quite a different thing. IfI was to put on that blue coat of yours, would that make me a policeman?Good heavens! I should hope not, for the sake of the Army to which Istill belong, being in the Reserve. What you bobbies need is to studyhuman nature and cultivate observation, which will learn you thedifference between a new-laid corpse and a mummy, and many otherthings. Now you lay my words to heart, and you'll both of you rise tosuperintendents, instead of running in daily 'drunks' until you retireon a pension. Good-night."
Peace having been restored, and the headless mummy removed into theProfessor's bedroom, since Captain Orme declared that he could not talkbusiness in the presence of a body, however ancient, we resumed ourdiscussion. First of all, at Higgs's suggestion I drew up a briefmemorandum of agreement which set out the objects of the expedition,and provided for the equal division amongst us of any profit that mightaccrue; in the event of the death of one or more of us, the survivors orsurvivor to take their or his share.
To this arrangement personally I objected, who desired neither treasurenor antiquities, but only the rescue of my son. The others pointed out,however, that, like most people, I might in future want somethingto live on, or that if I did not, in the event of his escape, my boycertainly would; so in the end I gave way.
Then Captain Orme very sensibly asked for a definition of our respectiveduties, and it was settled that I was to be guide to the expedition;Higgs, antiquarian, interpreter, and, on account of his vast knowledge,general referee; and Captain Orme, engineer and military commander,with the proviso that, in the event of a difference of opinion, thedissentient was to loyally accept the decision of the majority.
This curious document having been copied out fair, I signed and passedit to the Professor, who hesitated a little, but, after refreshinghimself with a further minute examination of Sheba's ring, signed also,remarking that he was an infernal fool for his pains, and pushed thepaper across the table to Orme.
"Stop a minute," said the Captain; "I forgot something. I should like myold servant, Sergeant Quick, to accompany us. He's a very handy man ata pinch, especially if, as I understand, we are expected to deal withexplosives with which he has had a lot to do in the Engineers andelsewhere. If you agree I will call him, and ask if he will go. I expecthe's somewhere round."
I nodded, judging from the episode of the mummy and the policeman thatthe Sergeant was likely to be a useful man. As I was sitting next to it,I opened the door for the Captain, whereon the erect shape of SergeantQuick, who had clearly been leaning against it, literally fell into theroom, reminding me much of an overset wooden soldier.
"Hullo!" said Orme as, without the slightest change of countenance, hisretainer recovered himself and stood to attention. "What the deuce areyou doing there?"
"Sentry go, Captain. Thought the police might change their minds andcome back. Any orders, Captain?"
"Yes. I am going to North Central Africa. When can you be ready tostart?"
"The Brindisi mail leaves to-morrow night, Captain, if you travel byEgypt, but if you go by Tunis, 7.15 a.m. Saturday is the time fromCharing Cross. Only, as I understand that high explosives and arms haveto be provided, these might take awhile to lay in and pack so as todeceive customs."
"You understand!" said Orme. "Pray, how do you understand?"
"Doors in these old houses are apt to get away from their frames,Captain, and the gentleman there"--and he pointed to the Professor--"hasa voice that carries like a dog-whistle. Oh, no offence, sir. A clearvoice is an excellent thing--that is, if the doors fit"--and althoughSergeant Quick's wooden face did not move, I saw his humorous grey eyestwinkle beneath the bushy eyebrows.
We burst out laughing, including Higgs.
"So you are willing to go?" said Orme. "But I hope you clearlyunderstand that this is a risky business, and that you may not comeback?"
"Spion Kop was a bit risky, Captain, and so was that business in thedonga, where every one was hit except you and me and the sailor man, butwe came back, for all that. Begging your pardon, Captain, there ain't nosuch thing as risk. Man comes here when he must, and dies when he must,and what he does between don't make a ha'porth of difference."
"Hear, hear," I said; "we are much of the same way of thinking."
"There have been several who held those views, sir, since old Solomongave the lady that"--and he pointed to Sheba's ring, which was lyingon the table. "But excuse me, Captain; how about local allowances? Nothaving been a marrying man myself, I've none dependent upon me, but, asyou know, I've sisters that have, and a soldier's pension goes withhim. Don't think me greedy, Captain," he added hastily, "but, as yougentlemen understand, black and white at the
beginning saves bother atthe end"--and he pointed to the agreement.
"Quite right. What do you want, Sergeant?" asked Orme.
"Nothing beyond my pay, if we get nothing, Captain, but if we getsomething, would five per cent. be too much?"
"It might be ten," I suggested. "Sergeant Quick has a life to lose likethe rest of us."
"Thank you kindly, sir," he answered; "but that, in my opinion, would betoo much. Five per cent. was what I suggested."
So it was written down that Sergeant Samuel Quick was to receive fiveper cent. of the total profits, if any, provided that he behaved himselfand obeyed orders. Then he also signed the agreement, and was furnishedwith a glass of whisky and water to drink to its good health.
"Now, gentlemen," he said, declining the chair which Higgs offeredto him, apparently because, from long custom, he preferred hiswooden-soldier attitude against the wall, "as a humble five-per-cent.private in this very adventurous company I'll ask permission to say aword."
Permission was given accordingly, and the Sergeant proceeded to inquirewhat weight of rock it was wished to remove.
I told him that I did not know, as I had never seen the Fung idol, butI understood that its size was enormous, probably as large as St. Paul'sCathedral.
"Which, if solid, would take some stirring," remarked the Sergeant."Dynamite might do it, but it is too bulky to be carried across thedesert on camels in that quantity. Captain, how about them picrates? Youremember those new Boer shells that blew a lot of us to kingdom come,and poisoned the rest?"
"Yes," answered Orme; "I remember; but now they have strongerstuffs--azo-imides, I think they call them--terrific new compounds ofnitrogen. We will inquire to-morrow, Sergeant."
"Yes, Captain," he answered; "but the point is, who'll pay? You can'tbuy hell-fire in bulk for nothing. I calculate that, allowing forthe purchase of the explosives and, say, fifty military rifles withammunition and all other necessaries, not including camels, the outfitof this expedition can't come to less than L1,500."
"I think I have that amount in gold," I answered, "of which the lady ofthe Abati gave me as much as I could carry in comfort."
"If not," said Orme, "although I am a poor man now, I could find L500or so in a pinch. So don't let us bother about the money. The questionis--Are we all agreed that we will undertake this expedition and see itthrough to the end, whatever that may be?"
We answered that we were.
"Then has anybody anything more to say?"
"Yes," I replied; "I forgot to tell you that if we should ever get toMur, none of you must make love to the Walda Nagasta. She is a kind ofholy person, who can only marry into her own family, and to do so mightmean that our throats would be cut."
"Do you hear that, Oliver?" said the Professor. "I suppose that theDoctor's warning is meant for you, as the rest of us are rather pastthat kind of thing."
"Indeed," replied the Captain, colouring again after his fashion. "Well,to tell you the truth, I feel a bit past it myself, and, so far as Iam concerned, I don't think we need take the fascinations of this blacklady into account."
"Don't brag, Captain. Please don't brag," said Sergeant Quick in ahollow whisper. "Woman is just the one thing about which you can neverbe sure. To-day she's poison, and to-morrow honey--God and the climatealone know why. Please don't brag, or we may live to see you crawlingafter this one on your knees, with the gent in the specs behind, andSamuel Quick, who hates the whole tribe of them, bringing up the rear.Tempt Providence, if you like, Captain, but don't tempt woman, lest sheshould turn round and tempt you, as she has done before to-day."
"Will you be so good as to stop talking nonsense and call a cab," saidCaptain Orme coldly. But Higgs began to laugh in his rude fashion, andI, remembering the appearance of "Bud of the Rose" when she liftedher veil of ceremony, and the soft earnestness of her voice, fell intoreflection. "Black lady" indeed! What, I wondered, would this younggentleman think if ever he should live to set his eyes upon her sweetand comely face?
It seemed to me that Sergeant Quick was not so foolish as his masterchose to imagine. Captain Orme undoubtedly was in every way qualified tobe a partner in our venture; still, I could have wished either thathe had been an older man, or that the lady to whom he was recentlyaffianced had not chosen this occasion to break her engagement. Indealing with difficult and dangerous combinations, my experience hasbeen that it is always well to eliminate the possibility of a loveaffair, especially in the East.