****
It turned out to be easier said than done. I knew where Justin's locker was, and we staked it out, but the tidal-wave-rush of kids leaving school after the last bell is worse than shoppers at Macy's on Black Friday. It took three days until we figured out which door he usually left by. Then we decided to drag all our books with us to last class, so we were able to get out as soon as the bell rang and stake him out from outside the building.
Justin came through the door in the middle of a throng of guys, seeming comfortable and at ease. At the parking lot, most of them turned to find their cars, since driving to school was one of the prime reasons to bother turning sixteen around here. Justin and two other guys continued down the sidewalk. Haley and I followed, trying to watch them while appearing to be chatting inconspicuously at the same time. After a couple of blocks, the two other guys gave Justin a punch in the arm that seemed to be guy-speak for goodbye, and turned left. Justin kept going straight.
“All right,” Haley muttered, as we quickened our pace to keep up. A block further into the city, Justin broke into a steady run.
Shit! Having tried, back when I was twelve, to keep up with my fitness-obsessed brother on a morning run, I knew we were screwed. But we had to at least try. We kept close enough to see him for about six blocks, slowly dropping behind. My backpack thumped against my shoulder and my breath came short. Ahead, Justin turned a corner and disappeared out of sight.
Haley and I stopped. She was just breathing hard, but I sat down on the pavement, grabbing at my side. Haley reached down a hand to haul me up. “Walk it off. You'll make it worse sitting like that.”
I hobbled in a rough circle, clutching my middle until the stitch eased off. By then Haley was standing easily, staring after Justin, her eyes narrowed. “Bikes.”
“What?”
“We'll have to bring bikes to school and follow him that way.”
“I don't have one.”
“You don't?” She stared at me and then shrugged. “You can use my sister's. Maybe you can spend the night at my house and we can ride to school together in the morning. Then we'll be ready.”
I'd been about to object. Somehow, chasing after my brother on bikes seemed more stalkerish than on foot. But that phrase spend the night stopped my objection in its tracks. “Sure. I could do that.”
Haley grinned at me. “Come on. There's a bus stop across the street. Let's go back to your place to ask your Dad and get your things together.”
“Tonight?” I took a quick breath. Was I ready for this?
“Yeah.” Haley smiled. “It'll be fun, although, you know, I share my room with my obnoxious sister so we can't even stay up late.”
As we headed for the bus stop I turned her words over in my mind, trying to figure out if there was anything more than a friend's invitation in them. Damned if I knew.
We had to wait until Dad came home from work to ask permission, which gave us two hours to pack an overnight bag for me. Haley picked through my clothes, holding stuff up against me for color. It was sweet agony to have her handling my shirts, to have her hand brush against my chest as she held something close to my face.
“I've always wanted to pick out clothes for you,” she said, dropping yet another shirt on my bed in disgust. “You have the worst damned taste. I swear, you dress like you want to be invisible.”
I didn't say, “I do want that. At least, I did.” I didn't say, “How long have you wanted to dress me.” I just stood there, concentrating on not reacting to her as she circled around me, her head cocked to one side.
“Hold that one.” She shoved a smoky-green three-quarter-sleeved shirt into my hand and stepped back. “Yeah. Brings out the green in your eyes. That and the black jeans.” She took it back, folded it with quick, competent moves, and slid it into my back-pack. I turned to my underwear drawer, pulling out my best panties and the matching bra, and tucked them in too, averting my eyes from hers.
“I'm going to change this T-shirt too,” I said. “I kind of sweated after that run.”
“I hadn't noticed.” But she stepped back and let me past her. I grabbed a blue T-shirt she'd lingered over, trying to be inconspicuous about also hiding clean underwear clutched in my hand, and headed for the bathroom.
Behind the locked door, I stared in the mirror. My hair was like my brother's, a blond that was almost brown, dishwater blond an aunt had once called it, while recommending highlights that I now wished I'd gotten. My eyes were a changeable hazel, which sometimes could go green. I pulled off the sweaty T-shirt I'd been running in. I really wanted a shower, but how obvious was that? She would hear the water go on, and it might look like I was expecting...something. I made do with a good wash in the sink. At least I'd shaved everything yesterday night. I pulled on the clean clothes and dumped my dirty things in the hamper.
My dad was perfectly willing to let me go home with Haley. All he asked for was her address and phone, before settling himself in front of a rerun of Firefly. We let ourselves out into the afternoon sun.
Haley's house was totally different from mine – noisy and crowded and warm. Her mom was cooking when we came in the door, but she called us into the kitchen, quizzed me on whether I had homework or chores I was neglecting, and topped it off by calling my dad to be sure I had permission for a school-night sleepover. When she hung up she gave me an odd look and then said to Haley, “Next time, ask me first, okay? Supper's in half an hour.”
Haley's whole family sat down to eat together, her mom, dad, brother, two sisters. I'd met them all before, but not together like this. It was almost like the Brady Bunch, if the Bradys had been prone to all talk at once with their mouths full and fight over the mashed potatoes. I ate and listened, trying to answer random questions thrown at me while not looking at Haley too often. My plate was still half-full when Haley grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “Let's escape this circus. Can we be excused?”
Haley's mom frowned. “Maybe Brianna wants to finish eating.”
“No,” I said, “That's okay. I took more than I want.”
“All right then.”
Before she was done talking, Haley hauled me out of the room. “Come on.” She tugged me toward the stairs. “We have about ten minutes before Lindsey's done. She'd never skip desert.”
We went up to her room. There were two beds, one on each side, and Lindsey's half of the wall was decorated in horses and more horses. There seemed to be twice as many as the last time Haley had me over. Haley wrinkled her nose. “She's twelve. Hopefully she'll outgrow it. Come on – sit here.”
We both dropped onto her bed, but my moment of breathless hope faded when she said, “We need to plan for tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.” I was stupid with her closeness, the smell of her shampoo, the heat of her hip inches from mine.
“Yeah, the bikes?” She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Get with the program. I'll set my alarm early enough so we can bike to school instead of catching the bus. We'll have to lock them in the rack at school, so no one steals them, but if we use my bar lock on both of them, it opens fast. The trickiest part will be not getting spotted following your brother. Plus I can't use the camera while I'm on a bike.”
“Right.” I forced my thoughts back to Justin. “Can you hang it round your neck to have it handy when we stop?”
“Maybe. Although my dad will skin me alive if anything happens to it. Worth it though. It'll be an adventure.”
“Maybe we should skip it. Maybe if Justin doesn't want to tell me what's up I should let it go.”
“You think so?”
“I don't know any more.”
“He looked pretty rough.”
“I know.” And yesterday, before we lost him, I'd seen a new bruise on his arm that wasn't there last week. “No. I want to know. I need to know what's going on. If it's nothing, if it's not a problem then we'll just back off and he never needs to know we were there. If it is something...” I let it trail off.
“Info
rmation. We can't make good decisions without good information.”
“Right.”
Haley's gaze met mine. Under thick dark lashes, the liquid brown of her eyes was like sweet melted chocolate, pulling me in. I think I leaned forward, and I might have dared to do more but at that moment her sister Lindsey came barreling in the door. “No fair! I wanted to have Annamarie sleep over yesterday and Mom said not on a school night. How come you get to and I don't?”
Haley and I jerked apart. Haley said with perfect big-sister contempt, “Because I'm fifteen and you're twelve. Mom trusts us not to stay up all night giggling over My Little Ponies.”
“I don't giggle and that stuff's for babies. I like real horses. And it's still not fair.”
“Tell Mom that.” Haley stood up. “Come on, Brianna, let's leave the kid to her ponies. The Wii's in the game room.”
We had fun, but there was never another moment I felt really alone with Haley in that house. Someone was always wandering through wherever we settled down. Eventually we went up to the bathroom and cleaned up and I changed into the sleep-shirt Haley had picked out for me. Haley's mom set up an air-mattress for me on the floor right next to Haley's bed. But it was a foot lower than her mattress and anyway, even whispering lost its appeal with Lindsey there. I'd expected to lie awake for hours, tortured by the thought of Haley so close and yet so far, but instead I fell right to sleep, and was oblivious until the alarm woke us next morning.