CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Rose began to tell me more about my mother. Even though she had Neleh at an early age, Serena never dropped out of school – continuing until she graduated before getting a part-time job at a local museum.
“She loved that place. She felt like she really belonged there. You should go and have a look around it one of these days. It may also help you understand a bit more about the Canadian culture.”
Apparently the museum was almost exactly the same as to the day she died, so it would be nice for me to see what the place was like where she spent quite a lot of her time.
Wondering what her life must have been like before I was born, I asked Rose where she, my father and Neleh had lived. Was it nearby?
“They actually lived with Gabriel for a few years before renting a small cottage on the outskirts of town. A few years before she died, Jack bought a plot of land. It took him a long time to save up enough money to build a house on it but he had scraped enough together and was planning to start construction just before you were born. Sadly it was never built because of what happened.”
“But he had started to build it?” I asked curiously.
There wasn't much to it apparently. Just a concrete base and some wood had been delivered. Rose told me that nothing had been touched since Vivian took us away. Keen to see the house where I could have spent my childhood, I asked Rose if she could give me directions so I could go and find it myself. After we'd eaten our lunch, she drew a rough map to help me get there. She did offer to take me herself but understood when I said it was something I felt I should do alone.
I heard more about my mother as we sat amidst the cats that afternoon. Rose told me some funny stories of how naughty Serena could be when she was a child and how she had made their parents feel young again. Theirs truly was a happy family and even when their parents died within a short time of each other, the mourning period didn't last so long because they both believed that their parents continued to be together, soul mates forever more. It was the stuff of fairy tales with happy endings, until of course that terrible day when Neleh had been killed. A tragedy which led to such heartbreak for everyone... except Vivian.
“Is there any way of finding out more about Vivian? Is there nothing we can do to try and find her? I feel certain that my father is still alive and I wish I could do something to help him,” I asked.
Rose explained that Gabriel was currently doing everything in his power to do just that. He had found out a few things about her and he hoped to be able to inform the family more about her when he had gathered sufficient relevant information.
“But in the meantime, you shouldn't worry about any of that. You're still only thirteen, Lilly – nearly fourteen, I know! You should be enjoying your life as much as you can. I understand that it is difficult to do so when there is so much tragedy surrounding you, now and in the past. I also understand that you have been told such overwhelming news since this time yesterday so you need to just take some time to let it sink in. You must come to terms with it before you throw yourself in at the deep end, my dear. You've got nearly fourteen years worth of fun to catch up on. And besides... I understand you've got a date tonight. You should be preparing for that,” she laughed.
Meredith had obviously told her... and probably the rest of the family too, but I didn't mind. It was wonderful having people actually caring about me.
“Perhaps you ought to do something with your hair,” she half joked. She did have a point.
I left Rose's house soon afterwards so that I could have some time alone before my date with Oliver. I'd never been on a date before and wanted to look as good as possible. This was something that was a bit difficult considering I had chopped my lovely hair off and dyed it peroxide blonde.
It was a while ago now and my hair grew fast. My black roots and white ends were not a pretty sight. How Oliver had found me cute with a hairstyle like that, I've no idea. I decided my best option was to get some hair dye and change it back to the way it was meant to be. Black. Like Gabriel said to me when I'd first arrived – I'm naturally dark haired like the rest of my family and should be proud of it.
It was particularly chilly as I walked along the roadside into town and so I wrapped my knee length-parka tightly around my body and pulled my black beanie further down my face in an effort to warm up, but I needn't have worried too much because I was soon offered a ride by Ben who was on his way back from treating an injured horse.
“Hey Lilly. What are you doing here? How come you're not in school? Can I give you a lift?”
I hopped into the passenger seat with the eagerness of a person about to pass out from hypothermia and he laughed and turned up the heat to help warm me up.
To keep up the charade that Gabriel had begun with the school, I explained I'd not been feeling so great emotionally and needed some time alone. But I told him I was feeling better now and was glad of his company.
He told me about his latest patient. It was a horse that had a mysterious injury to his leg and that his owner couldn't understand how it had happened, especially since the animal had been locked in his stable overnight, and had been perfectly all right the previous evening. He had called Ben immediately to attend to the bloody mess but he could offer no explanation either.
“I mean, this poor horse had looked as if it had been attacked by a wild animal. Yet there was no way he could get out of his stable and no way any animal large enough to do the damage could get in,” he said with a creased brow as if he was still trying to fathom the mystery out.
I knew that it was quite possible that the horse had fought with something. Something dark and unnatural, probably.
My gut feeling was that the horse wasn't just a horse. Maybe it had the power of transformation and had let itself out into the darkness. Or some kind of beast had unlocked the stable, crept in and made a frenzied attack on the horse... why, I had no idea. There were so many bizarre theories going around in my head and I couldn't suggest a single one to Ben, which I hated. Being a vet, I believed that it could have been really useful for him to know. But I had been advised not to tell a soul and it was of the utmost importance that I kept this secret, for my family's sake.
I mentioned that I had heard he was looking for a part-time trainee assistant. After he nodded, I suggested myself as a possible candidate. Surprisingly, he was thrilled that I would be interested in the position.
“Are you kidding? That would be terrific, Lilly! It would almost be like keeping it in the family. That's great... really great!”
“Really? I don't want you to hire me just because we're practically family though, Ben.”
“Don't be silly. It's perfect. I'd love you to come and work with me. Great!”
“Unfortunately, I still have a few years to go at high school, otherwise I could start full time work straight away.”
We agreed that I would begin training with him every Saturday and would do the occasional stint after school. During the holidays I would work three days a week. I was excited at the prospect of having something important to do, working with animals. And at the same time I would learn everything that I needed to know.
When he asked why I was heading into town, I blushed and told him I was so embarrassed about the state of my hair, I was going to buy a do-at-home hair dye to sort it out.
He laughed “I don't think a simple hair dye will do the trick, Lilly!”
“Thanks, Ben!” but I laughed too, knowing only too well that my haircut left a lot to be desired.
“Look, a really good friend of mine is a hairdresser in town and she owes me a favour. Why don't we pop into her salon and we'll see what she can do?”
Although I was embarrassed that he would be willing to use his favour on me, I agreed that my appearance was in desperate need of an overhaul and so I nodded in agreement.
“Thank you,” I whispered shyly and he looked over at me and winked.
It turned out that his good friend was actually more of a girlfriend, judg
ing by the smouldering looks that passed between them when we arrived. I was lucky that she was between appointments and she was delighted to help. Her name was Crystal.
Unlike most of the girls I had met so far in Powell River who had long flowing locks, Crystal's cropped elfin-like hair made her beautiful African-American features more pronounced. She was a beauty, there was no doubt about that, and on top of that, she had a beautiful soul. Her naturally black afro hair had been dyed a golden brown, which made her eyes appear to have so much depth that you could almost sink into them. They reminded me of Scully's eyes, deep, dark and soulful.
Ben only stayed for a couple of minutes, as there were clients waiting back at the practice so he left me there, before assuring me that I was in the best of hands and that I would leave feeling a million dollars.
“Enjoy your date tonight,” he yelled with a wink as he closed the door without giving me the chance to respond.
Did everyone know? I thought, as I followed Crystal to the chair in front of the mirror and sat down while she inspected my hair carefully and thoughtfully before smiling brightly at me.
“So... I'm guessing you hacked at your hair yourself?”
She clearly knew my answer before carrying on, “And I'm guessing you bleached it yourself too. Well, the hair is in surprisingly good condition but it is in some serious need of shape. Do you want the colour back to its natural shade?”
I nodded and she agreed it was the best choice for my colouring.
And so as she went about returning my hair back to some kind of normality, I relaxed and enjoyed the pampering while thinking about the journey my life had begun to take. It was one that I would never have imagined, not in a million years.
Growing up the way I had, trapped within what appeared to be a loveless family, not able to go out and meet people, not even able to see the world through the television. My only glimmer of the world out there was through the eyes of authors like the Grimms Brothers and Hans Christian Andersen. When I read those magical tales, I'd had no idea that their worlds had existed, yet here I was with the knowledge that they did exist, yet within a veil of secrecy.
A secret world. And I knew about it. I was part of it. I shivered.
“Sorry, Lilly. Is the water too cold?” asked Crystal.
I assured her it was fine. The cold came from within. Within the knowledge that I couldn't share. Not even with Oliver – the boy that gave me goosebumps just by looking at him. And he felt the same way that I did. His heart skipped a beat when he was with me too. It was hard for me to fathom anybody could have feelings for me in that way.
I was young, I had never had a boyfriend. I had never been kissed. I didn't know the meaning of love, other than the new love I felt for my newfound family members. I had never even felt love for my father because I had always had the impression that he didn't love me. Not really. A feeling of shame enveloped me. All this time, of course he had loved me. His only way of sharing that love was to sneak those books to me. And I had never shown him that he meant everything to me. Of course it was easy for me to say that now. Now that I knew the truth. He was under a spell. Pure and simple.
It didn't take Crystal long to return me to my 'natural' beauty as she put it and when I left over an hour later, Ben had been right, I did feel like a million dollars. I felt pretty and I hadn't felt pretty in a long, long time. In fact, I had never felt pretty because I'd never been told I was pretty.
Crystal had worked wonders and my new short crop was surprisingly a great shape for my face. I was astounded how much it suited me, considering what a mess I had looked before. As much as I wanted to show the world my new style, I had no choice but to cover it up the second I stepped outside because of the cold, so on went the beanie once again.
As I glanced back through the window, I waved goodbye to Crystal as she waved back happily before attending to the other young woman who had entered just five minutes before. I hadn't taken much notice of the salon's entrance as we'd arrived so I looked up at her sign. Crystal's Salon was in big bold black lettering on an orange background with a catchy logo featuring a cat with big eyes and long hair. It made me chuckle to myself as it matched her personality perfectly.
I put my hands in my pocket and felt a piece of paper. It was the map to my father's land that Rose had drawn for me. I checked my watch and figured I had plenty of time so I headed in that direction.
As I walked through town, a number of familiar faces smiled at me and said their hellos before hurrying out of the cold. It was still so alien to me to be known by so many people. In London, I knew the faces of the kids at school. I knew the faces of the many teachers. I knew the face of the postman but I didn't know anybody but December, my secret best friend. Vivian had never allowed me to get to know anyone at all. I couldn't even say hello to the neighbours without fear of being grabbed and pulled away by her. Yet here I was surrounded by friendly people that I could get to know if I wanted to. And who wanted to get to know me.
Some even stopped me in the street and made small talk, asking how I was doing, if I was settling in okay and so on. It was rather nice actually. It made me smile and again, I felt liked. I felt loved. It was a feeling I would cherish.
Heading out of town, I smiled to myself happily and checked the map again before taking a turning off the main road. There was tarmac for a hundred or so metres and then I had to take a left down a small and winding dirt track. The track became even longer and narrower then, giving an almost funnel effect.
I continued walking until I eventually came upon a wide open space. In the middle was a large concrete base. I had found it. This should have been the place that I grew up. The happy years that we could have all spent together. Should have spent together. Serena, my father, Neleh... and me. How different my life could have been, I thought as I walked slowly towards what would have been our home.
I looked around and noticed that it was surrounded by trees, hidden away from any kind of prying eyes, perhaps that was the reason my father had chosen it. He knew the family secret and he knew the importance of keeping it just that: a secret. It was perfect and it was peaceful. I understood perfectly why my father had chosen this plot of land. Not only was it well hidden, but it also had a great feeling to it. I tried to picture what the house could have looked like. A large log home a bit like Gabriel's perhaps? No, this would have been quite a bit smaller and even more cosy. It was perfect.
As I wandered around the base, I noticed a large pallet of logs which had become ruined from years of neglect in the outdoors. I felt sad as I approached them and gently rubbed my hand along one of the logs.
I had been so focused on what could have been that I didn't even notice that it had started raining. I looked up as the storm clouds collected over head. I pulled my beanie down further over my face and as I turned away from the logs, I heard a tear and then a click before an almighty crash.
A searing pain went through my leg as I fell to the ground with a thud. A log had come loose and had landed on top of me. I barely remember anything, except that I screamed out in pain. I felt nauseous all of a sudden and, barely conscious, I tried to shout for help yet I knew nobody would hear me. As I had noted before, the house was perfectly well hidden, after all. I could just about feel my face becoming wet from the rain when I heard a loud of clap of thunder.
I felt trapped in a nightmare. One where I couldn't move. The more I struggled, the worse it became. The log was too heavy and I was too injured to move a muscle.
I've no idea how long I was there.
Just as I felt like giving up all hope, drifting in and out of consciousness, I saw movement from beyond the trees and then before I knew it, I heard the voice of an angel. “Don't worry, Lilly. You're going to be all right. I'll make sure of that.”
I must have been hallucinating as I remember being lifted higher and higher into the sky before completely losing consciousness.