CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
That day had turned out to be one of the most surreal days I had spent in Canada so far. For me it hadn't been so hard to understand what had really happened all those years ago, because I had only learned the truth about myself a few short months before. I knew it was tougher for the rest of the family though as they had old beliefs that had to be undone.
Of course they believed me when I'd told them what had happened – there was no reason for them not to. But it would be when they met Sammy again that the truth would really sink in. When they saw how much suffering he had been through, not just physically, but emotionally too, they would take him in with open arms. I had no doubt about that.
And it was this reason that I couldn't wait for the reunion to take place. I willed the hours to pass by, for darkness to fall.
There was another problem I had to deal with though. As much as I craved to be with Oliver that day, I knew I couldn't. He would have known there was something going on. Something big. And I couldn't tell him what it was. Oliver was as innocent and naïve about the truth of this world as I had been on my arrival to this magical place. If I told him that there were such things as witches who could cast evil spells, he would think I had gone completely mad. Wouldn't he?
When he had phoned me that morning to organise a time to come and pick me up, I had to make excuses not to go out with him, and that hurt me. I hated lying to him. But what choice did I have?
It was then that I began to wonder whether our relationship would survive. As much as I was falling for him, I knew that if he was kept in the dark, our relationship would predominantly be based on lies. And what relationship can survive that? But more importantly, it wasn't fair on him. There was love, but a really successful relationship had to be based on many things. Yes, love was at the top of the list, but it was followed closely by trust and honesty. No relationship could survive without all three.
I was forbidden to talk about our family's raven gene and the fact that I had been raised by a witch. I couldn't tell anyone that I knew this world was not just inhabited by normal animals and human beings, but also by werecats, werewolves, vampires, halflings, changelings, shape-shifters and so on. I had to keep the secret, even if it meant ruining my own chances of love.
Sadness overwhelmed me but I wasn't ready to give up just yet. I had to try and be a normal teenager. Surely over the centuries, other half human half creatures had successful relationships with other humans... hadn't they?
I needed to find out and so later that day, I broached the subject with the person I knew would offer me the wisest words, Rose.
“I knew this subject would come up at some stage, dear, and it's a difficult one to answer. Sure, there have been relationships between changelings and humans. But not all of them have survived, I'm afraid. Yet others have,” she said with a sad smile, as I caught the remnants of a memory flashing across her eyes.
“What about you, Rose? Did you have someone once?” I asked, eager to find out what she had been thinking about.
We were standing in her conservatory where she kept a number of beautiful flowers. As she spoke she sprayed them gently with water, carefully breathing more life into the stunning different specimens of roses.
Her face lit up immediately as she said his name. Walter.
“He was the love of my life,” she said as she placed the water bottle down and turned to face me. She then opened a cupboard and pulled out an old photo album, the pages had become slightly withered with age.
She handed it to me and as I opened it, I could see it contained photos from many years ago. Most were black and white. The majority of them were of a very handsome young man with fair hair. There were a few which showed him standing very close to a stunning young woman with dark hair and very familiar cat-like eyes. It was Rose. Although she had aged, she was instantly recognisable. About half way through the album, the pages became empty. I felt a pang of pain for her; I guessed that he had not lived past his thirties, perhaps not even his mid twenties, judging by the images.
“What happened?” I asked, intrigued.
It was clearly, even after all these years, still painful to recollect but she spoke gently, “He just disappeared,” she said, taking my hand in hers.
So that was why it was painful for her to talk about it – because she knew it might be painful for me too. She knew that her words would reverberate with me. He simply vanished. Just as my own father had.
As she spoke, she flipped to the back of the album where a single photograph had been glued down. This one contained the image of not just the couple in love but of a tiny baby too.
“One day he took her out in her pram for a walk and they never returned. Nobody saw them. It was a complete mystery,” she stuttered, trying to hold back the tears.
“Rose, I'm so sorry,” I said wishing I could do something but knowing full well that I couldn't. When my father had disappeared it must have been absolute hell for poor Rose. It was as if she was re-living history.
I felt her pain. Not only had she lost the man she adored, but she had lost their only bond, a tiny little daughter.
“How old was she?” I asked.
“Six months exactly,” she said as she blotted her eyes with a white cotton handkerchief, “her name was Lori.”
“When did they disappear?”
“A long, long time ago, my dear. He was 30 years old. I had just turned 21,” she answered before closing the album and putting it back in its resting place, before continuing, “we had known each other for many years and had begun dating when I was 16. Some people weren't so keen on us being together because of the age gap but we didn't care what they thought. We were so in love. We were soul mates and little Lori was the icing on our cake. That's what we used to say,” she said.
“Did he know about your... your 'abilities'?”
She chuckled then and nodded, “Things were a little different back then. I didn't know I could change until I was eighteen and it wasn't because I was told. It was because it just happened one day. I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening to me. Luckily it happened while I was at home and my mother was visiting. Walter was out at the time and my mother had heard a commotion in my room. She walked in and I was no longer Rose the teenager. I was Rose the Canadian Lynx. You can imagine my shock when she began speaking to me softly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She calmed me down though and I soon changed back to my human form. It was while I was changing back that Walter came home.”
“I bet that gave him the shock of his life,” I said and she nodded.
“It was the only time I have ever seen a man faint,” she laughed. “When he eventually came to, he thought he'd had a strange dream but then he saw my ripped clothes and knew it hadn't been a dream at all. He took it surprisingly well. It was a shock to the both of us on the same day, and so we had to come to terms with it together.”
“So he accepted that it was a part of who you are?” I asked eagerly, thinking that perhaps Oliver would do the same.
“I was very lucky,” she nodded before slowly adding, “but his parents weren't killed by wildcats.”
The excitement that had been building within me was ripped out of me and I slumped back in the chair, closing my eyes and fighting back the tears that threatened to break loose.
“Lilly, Oliver and Ben have been through a lot over the years. They have had to come to terms with the fact that both their mother and father were killed by two wild mountain lions. If you told them now that you may well be an animal of the feline variety, they could see you as a huge threat. It's very risky,” she said gently. “You're still very young, Lilly. Oliver is your first boyfriend. Are you absolutely certain that he is the one? Because if he's not... and he finds out about this family, all hell could break loose. There are so many things you need to think about, to take into consideration. Ultimately though, it's up to you. We can't tell you what you should be doing with your life. That's for you to decide.”
Of course I knew what she said was true and, although it hurt in the pit of my stomach, I had gone to Rose for a reason. I trusted her and so I knew I had to think long and hard about my decision.
There was so much going on in my life and perhaps stringing Oliver along was the worst thing I could do. The problem was that my feelings for him were getting stronger. They were strengthened every time I saw him.
But on the other hand, I had to think of him and I did know that he would undoubtedly be safer not knowing the truth. But how could he continue to be such a big part of my life and not know? I felt so confused.
As I watched Rose continue to prune her beloved flowers, I couldn't help but think what a remarkable woman she was. She had been through so much, losing her true love and their daughter – and had never known what had happened to them – and yet she had remained clear-headed and, well, normal. She had continued to be a strong and loving woman in spite of it all.
It was then that I thought about how Vivian had taken my father and me away from our family, and I wondered whether someone like Vivian could have been responsible for Walter's disappearance too. I didn't mention it though; I had already drudged up enough heartbreaking memories. I didn't want to cause any more grief. As I left Rose's house a little while later, I thought that perhaps it was something I could talk about with Gabriel.
Walking back down the pathway through the trees, I decided to take the scenic route home, stopping along the shoreline to watch a single fisherman catch a small fish off in the distance. I began to think about Oliver and decided that I ought to ask Gabriel for his advice too.
He was pleased that I wanted his opinion on the matter, because he had practically raised the two boys himself and knew how difficult it was to keep the truth from them.
“But I am a strong believer in fate, Lilly, and if Oliver is meant to be in your life, then he will be.”
“But how can he be and not know the truth. Surely he needs to know who I really am. Who we really are. Doesn't he, and Ben, deserve to know the truth about the family that raised them?” I asked, almost wishing for him to just say 'yes, let's tell them the truth'.
But he shook his head and reiterated that what will be, will be.
As the afternoon turned into evening, the sky slowly became darker and my family members began to arrive. My worries about Oliver moved towards the back of my mind as I began to feel excited about seeing Sammy again. I was eager for him to be welcomed into the family after all these years. At least that's what I hoped would happen.
The six of us assembled just beyond the opening to the forest, where I'd followed my mother's ghost the night before, and stood huddled together for warmth as we awaited Sammy's arrival.
Soon we could hear the soft flapping of wings from above. It wasn't a frightening sound, just like a rather large bird flying down from the sky. Only this bird was a man.
As he swooped down quite a few metres from us, he came to a gentle halt, before walking very slowly towards us.
I rushed forward with open arms and as I approached him, I could almost feel the tension from behind me but I ignored it completely, hugging Sammy like the long lost brother that he was.
“Sammy,” I whispered, “don't worry. I've explained the truth. They know what happened now and they have nothing against you... but it's been such a long time and it might take a little while for them to accept you and to come to terms with everything. Please bear with them.”
His face belied his body language, which was cool and confident. I could see in his eyes that he was nervous. Scared, even.
I took his hand in mine, and together we turned to face my family. We walked towards them and waited.
“Sammy... oh dear Sammy,” cried Rose, “we're so sorry” and she rushed forward and took him into a big hug, sobbing. I could see that she wasn't the only one crying. As I looked closely at all their faces, all were wet with tears and I smiled as they rolled down my own cheeks too.
This is what my mother and Neleh had wanted. They had wanted the truth to be known. They had wanted me to find Sammy and bring him home.
Gabriel took his hand in both of his own then and smiled. He didn't say a word, he just stood looking at the man he had once held responsible for the death of two beloved family members. He now knew that he had been so wrong.
Jo later told me that she had been a little afraid at first. Although she knew of the amazing things our family could do, she had never actually seen anything like him before and had hovered in the background waiting to be introduced, nervously.
Of course as soon as I'd done so, her nerves had melted and she was won over by Sammy's gentle soul.
As we huddled together for warmth, we walked back towards the house, checking that there was nobody out and about before we quickly rushed indoors, cautiously hiding that magnificent set of wings. It was the first time that Sammy had set foot indoors in so many years and the simple act led him to break down in tears as he looked around and saw that everything was pretty much as it had been all those years before.
Meredith patted him on his back before quickly jerking her arm away for fear of hurting him. It broke the ice instantly and he laughed at her reaction, “It's okay”, he said, “they won't break. They're pretty strong,” as he wiped away the tears from his cheeks.
“Come Sammy, come and sit down with us. Let's make some hot coffee, or tea?” Gabriel asked. We all wondered what he must have survived on all these years and Sammy smiled, “It's been a long time since I had coffee,” he smiled.
“Coffee it is then,” said Gabriel standing quickly.
“No Gabriel, I'll do it. You've all got a lot of catching up to do. Let me do it,” said Jo as I walked with her into the kitchen, leaving them to reminisce about the happy times and get to know each other all over again.
Later that evening, it was decided that Sammy would move in with us. Gabriel's house was close enough to the forest and had easy access should Sammy need more space. And of course, should he need to hide from anybody.
Sammy shed plenty of tears that night, as all of us did. As I had hoped, he was welcomed back into the family with open arms. All was as it should have been. But there were still so many questions that needed to be answered. Things we needed to figure out together. A future to plan. A father, a son and a brother to find and bring home.