Within the darkness came a peace I had never felt before. No sounds, no tastes, no feelings, or scents. First, only a dim awareness of myself- my spirit or my soul, my mind or my being, it all felt the same - it was still me. Then, little by little, all of my memories came back. I traced my whole life: from childhood to college, as a movie screen in my mind, I saw everything. And then, Emrys came to my mind’s eye. Pure, unfathomable feelings of love flowed over me. I knew he loved me - all of me: my past, my present, and my future. It was undeniably beautiful.
“Drink, my sweet Elizabeth. Drink of my élan vital as I have of yours.” With the sound of his soft whisper came the realization that I was not dead. As he cradled my head in his hand, lifting it with a gentle touch, I became aware of his sweet, spicy scent.
Something pressed up against my lips and all at once a new aroma filled my senses. The warm liquid spilled into my mouth. It was dense and sweet, coating my throat with a velvety smoothness. It warmed my insides immediately and gave me the sensation of being aware, having life, and waking up for the first time after a long, deep sleep. I never knew being alive could feel so incredible, so marvelous. I lifted my hands to his hand, feeling the warmth of his skin as he gripped the goblet. I pulled his hand closer and tipped the cup up, drinking in more and more of his vital essence, his life force...his blood.
“Not too fast, my love,” he said, whispering. “Savor the moment.”
I did. It invigorated me. This amazing sensation was like plunging into a cool ocean on a sweltering, hot summer day and feeling the water slipping over sun-scorched skin. There were no words for some of my feelings, but I was filled with images of pleasure; the joy of seeing the sunshine break through the clouds after a long week of rain, the sky broad and open, light and rich in oxygen. The delight in seeing the first snow cover of the year, when everything is cloaked - stark white, pure and unspotted. I felt overwhelming love for Emrys, unconditional and unending. And I was thirsty for more from the goblet. This sweet, red, and warm liquid. I’d found my dessert.
I eased open one eye, but the dimly lit room was far too bright for my new senses. This type of pain could cause an immediate migraine. Emrys placed a soft piece of cloth over my eyes to help keep the light out.
“There, keep those beautiful eyes covered for now.”
I knew another pain then: even though he spoke in a whisper, his barely audible words resonated as though I stood beside a reverberating speaker at its fullest volume. I let my head fall back down into the pillow, pulling the edges up around my ears to block out this noise. His soft touch on my hand felt as if he used a searing, hot iron and his gentle kiss to my forehead was fiery hot.
“Rest now, my lovely one,” he said. His muffled footsteps walking away sounded more like a stampede. And then, I dreamed.
Chapter 14
Death Is Only a Dream
Discovering the ability to control my dreams was absolutely mind-boggling. The simple act of thinking of a question would bring me the answer. Some of the dreams came in simple images caught as a bit of a memory, like a photograph of a moment in time, and some came more detailed, as a short conversation or a short, silent film. There was no rhyme or reason to the order of the dreams, for in dreams - time does not exist.