REALITY BOOK GROUP
and 3 other short plays
by Richard Grossman
Copyright 2013 by Richard Grossman
Table of Contents
Reality Book Group
Bluefish
Room with Maintenance
Medium Security 2025
REALITY BOOK GROUP
A Ten Minute Play in One Act
Cast of Characters
Robert: Man dressed in sport coat and slacks
James: Man dressed in sport coat and slacks
Howard: Man dressed in sport coat and slacks
Nick: Man dressed in blue jeans and tight tee shirt with tattoo on arm
SETTING: Robert’s living room
TIME: Present
AT RISE: Robert, James, and Howard are sitting around coffee table. Two copies of Darkness at Noon are on the table. James is nervously thumbing through a third copy of the book.
ROBERT
Our new member is late. Do you still think he’s coming?
JAMES
I hope so. He said he would.
HOWARD
Where did you find him?
JAMES
In a convenience store. He looked like he was going to rob the place, but then I saw he had a book under his arm. Seemed like the perfect candidate, so I struck up a conversation.
(Nick enters)
Ah, here he is…
(Robert, Howard, and James look at Nick. Nick looks at them.)
ROBERT
(to Nick)
Hello, Nick! Welcome to the book group!
NICK
(puzzled and a little angry)
O.K., but I’m not sure this is the right…
(affected voice)
venue.
ROBERT
(laughs)
This is the right venue. We understand you’ve spent the last decade of your life… reading.
NICK
Reading and jerking off. What else was there to do? These days, even the fucking license plates are made in China.
HOWARD
James tells us you were serving time for armed robbery. 10 to 20?
NICK
You got it. Time off for good behavior.
(15 seconds of awkward silence)
JAMES
(to Nick)
I realize this may be an inappropriate question, given that we’ve only chatted once …but I was wondering…did you…you know…ultimately feel bad about doing what you did? You know, holding up a liquor store...
NICK
This is a book group right?
ROBERT
Of course.
NICK
Then why are you asking me all of these fucking stupid questions? When are we going to talk about the book?
HOWARD
(calmly)
Just one more stupid question. Did you learn to be rude in prison, or is that what got you there in the first place?
NICK
(stands up)
What’s your problem?
HOWARD
(stands up)
What makes you think I have a problem?
ROBERT
Howard, would you sit down? Do you remember what happened at the last book group?
HOWARD
What?
JAMES
There was blood everywhere. Your blood.
HOWARD
What did you expect? He was an ex-boxer, and I’m a college professor.
(Howard sits down)
ROBERT
(to Howard)
Thank you.
NICK
(sits down)
So do you think we’re ever gonna talk about the fuckin’ book?
HOWARD
Rude again…
(Nick begins to get up, but Howard raises his hand, palm up in a conciliatory gesture.)
ROBERT
(to Nick)
Then, wonderful! You must have a lot to say…
NICK
Maybe I do.
ROBERT
So, tell us: did you like the book?
(everyone looks intently at Nick)
NICK
(angrily and defensively)
What? You think I’m too stupid to like the book? That I wouldn’t get it?
ROBERT
Go ahead.
NICK
Go ahead what?
ROBERT
Tell us what you liked about the book.
NICK
(eyes Howard)
Well, I liked the fact that it took place in prison…and the characters were OK.
HOWARD
(cynically and mocking)
The characters were OK. That says a lot.
NICK
(with hostility)
And fuckin’ flawed enough to be believable.
HOWARD
(smugly)
You really think the characters were believable?
NICK
(stands up—with hostility)
More believable than all of you. You have a problem with that?
HOWARD
(stands up and gets in his face—with even greater hostility)
Really? You don’t find us believable?
(points to fist)
Well, you may find this believable.
ROBERT
(jumps in between the two men)
Let’s everyone just calm down. OK, gentlemen? We have a book to discuss.
(Nick and Howard stare at each other and then sit down)
So………
(Robert opens his palms as if to invite people to talk. Everyone looks at each other around the coffee table in silence for twenty seconds. No one speaks)
ROBERT
Anyone? ……………..
Anyone?.......................
Nothing more?.................
OK, then I guess that’s it.
NICK
(in disbelief)
That’s it?
ROBERT
Apparently. Unless you have something more to add.
NICK
You’re all fuckin’ college professors and none of you have any opinions about the book?
ROBERT
(calmly)
You see, none of us have read the book.
NICK
(in disbelief)
None of you have read the book…
JAMES
We stopped reading books years ago. We find real people so much more, well… real……so much more interesting.
NICK
(angrily)
None of you have read the book?!!! So, why am I here?!!!!
ROBERT
(holds hands up in questioning fashion.)
(Robert, James, and Howard look intently at Nick)
NICK
You mean you’ve been fuckin’ with me…
(waits a few seconds, mutters to himself, then shakes head violently and pulls out a pistol)
OK. That’s it. Give me your money. I want all of it.
JAMES
(a little enthusiastically)
Really?
NICK
Who do you think I am? A choir boy? You can’t fuck with me! You’re gonna pay me for my time!
(Robert and James take out wallet and hand over their money)
NICK
(goes over to Howard and holds the gun to his head)
You too, asshole! Everyone pays.
(Howard starts to take some money out of his wallet, but Nick grabs the wallet. Nick starts to leave but realizes he’s forgotten
his book. He grabs his book off the coffee table and flings the other books around the room. He leaves with book in arm. The group waits until they’re sure he’s gone.)
JAMES
Whew! I was scared to death!
HOWARD
Really? I wasn’t. I knew from the first moment what was going to happen. I didn’t think there was any surprise at all.
ROBERT
So, you were a little disappointed.
HOWARD
I was. I hoped for more development. And he lacked complexity…although I must say, part of me identified with his… rawness.
ROBERT
(laughs)
Yes, we could see that.
(more seriously)
There was certainly something immediate and unfiltered in his actions. Maybe he’s a part of all of us… James?
JAMES
I thought the best part was that he illustrated the old saw: “Character is fate.” That alone made it worth it for me....
(silence for a few seconds)
ROBERT
Anything else?...........OK. A thriller…but I suppose I agree with you, Howard: very little behind it. Definitely not a keeper. Whose choice is it next?
HOWARD
Mine.
ROBERT
Any ideas?
HOWARD
I was thinking of inviting a defrocked priest…
ROBERT
Perfect. We can assign Lolita. It’s a classic…
JAMES
(meekly)
What do you think: just this once, should we read the book?
ALL
(look at each other, and then enthusiastically, with fist bumps)
Nah!
THE END
BLUEFISH
By Richard Grossman
A Ten-Minute Play in One Act
Copyright 2012 by Richard Grossman
Cast of Characters
Ann-Marie Willoughby: Teacher in her early 30’s, visibly pregnant
William Matthews: School principal around 50 years old
John: 8-year-old student
SETTING: Principal’s office in an elementary school
TIME: Present
AT RISE: Ann-Marie is in the midst of a hushed discussion with William. Ann-Marie is obviously agitated.
ANN-MARIE
…Of course I didn’t tell him. He’s a very odd kid. Apparently, his mother died in child birth, and his father is a drunk. There’s no one home for him. No one’s ever been home for him. That’s why I feel so bad.
WILLIAM
I told you not to keep it—that it would complicate things.
ANN-MARIE
I tried. When I went to the clinic months ago...
WILLIAM
Shhh!
(John appears at doorway)
Come in, John.
(John enters)
WILLIAM
Have a seat.
(John continues to stand)
WILLIAM
Please, have a seat.
(John continues to stand)
WILLIAM
Is there some reason you don’t want to sit next to Ms. Willoughby?
JOHN
It’s too close.
WILLIAM
I don’t understand. She’s your teacher. Has she harmed you in any way? Are you scared of her?
(John shakes head no)
WILLIAM
Then what is it?
JOHN
I told you, it’s too close.
WILLIAM
What do you mean “it’s”
(John gives a little point of the finger towards Ann-Marie)
WILLIAM
What are you pointing at?
ANN-MARIE
You know what he’s pointing at.
(William holds up hand to silence Ann-Marie)
WILLIAM
John, please tell me what you’re pointing at?
JOHN
That.
WILLIAM
What is that?
ANN-MARIE
Come on! Why are you torturing him? John, are you referring to my baby?
(John shakes head yes)
WILLIAM
Ms. Willoughby is pregnant. That’s what you’re pointing at?
(John shakes head yes)
WILLIAM
What do you mean it’s too close?
(John shakes head and hands)
WILLIAM
You can’t talk about it?
(silence)
WILLIAM
Ms. Willoughby tells me you’ve been following her around after school. Can you tell me why you’ve been doing that?
(no answer)
Can you at least tell me that you have, in fact, been following Ms. Willoughby around after school?
(no answer)
WILLIAM
Look, John, you have to at least admit that you’ve done that.
ANN-MARIE
Bill… Mr. Matthews, for God’s sake, this isn’t a court of law, and John hasn’t committed a crime. (Towards the window) Maybe I have. Maybe you have. But not him. This is beginning to sound like an interrogation. Can’t you see that he’s unable to talk about it?
WILLIAM
He has to talk about it. I have to make sure everybody’s safe. That’s part of my responsibility as principal.
ANNE-MARIE
But he’s just a child! He’s not a danger to anyone!
WILLIAM
Ann-Marie…Ms. Willoughby, please! John. Have you or have you not been following Ms. Willoughby around after school?
(John shakes head yes)
WILLIAM
And did you, yesterday, follow her to Wulf’s fish store.
(John looks down)
WILLIAM
Well, did you?
ANN-MARIE
You know he did. I told you.
WILLIAM
Shhh! John? She went to the fish store. And you followed her?
(John shakes head yes)
WILLIAM
Why? Why did you follow her?
(John gives little shake of head)
WILLIAM
Well?
(silence)
WILLIAM
Ms. Willoughby says you stood at the window, outside the shop, in front of the display of fish.
JOHN
Dead fish.
WILLIAM
Well, of course they’re dead fish. Do you think Mr. Wulf is going to sell live fish?
ANN-MARIE
Mr. Matthews…
WILLIAM
I’m just trying to point out that this wasn’t a class trip to the aquarium. OK then John, what did you see through the window at the fish store?
JOHN
Ms. Willoughby bought fish.
WILLIAM
That’s usually what someone does at a fish store.
JOHN
(angry, animated)
Bluefish!
WILLIAM
Does it matter what kind of fish she bought?
JOHN
Once they’re hooked, they fight for their lives!
WILLIAM
Really? And how do you know that? Does your father take you sport fishing?
ANN-MARIE
I told you his father is an al…he’s never around.
WILLIAM
Right, so how do you know about bluefish, John?
JOHN
I know. They swim in schools and they fight for their lives when they’re hooked!
(William sighs and shakes head)
WILLIAM
Apparently, you’ve been telling people that I’m the father of Ms. Willoughby’s…that I’m responsible for Ms. Willoughby’s …pregnancy.
(silence)
WILLIAM
Who told you such a…tale?
JOHN
No one. No one had to tell me. I know.
>
WILLIAM
(to himself, looking out the window)
Apparently he’s an idiot savant.
ANN-MARIE
(upset)
You can’t blame him for thinking you’re the father, when it’s…
WILLIAM
(interrupts Ann-Marie)
John…I want to tell you something. I’ve been married for 22 years. My wife and I…we have three kids of our own. Three wonderful kids…the youngest, a boy, is exactly your age. You understand that, right?
(turns back to look at John)
And it would be quite damaging to all of them, especially the kids, if they caught wind of your…fantasy. Now, it’s quite normal that you are imagining that Ms. Willoughby and I are having a child together…given that we’re mother and father figures here in the school….
ANN-MARIE
(suddenly breaking down)
I can’t believe you’re saying this to him. He’s an 8 year old motherless…fatherless boy who somehow happened upon the… How is he supposed to handle his knowing what he knows, if you’re denying it? How am I supposed to handle it? How am I supposed to handle him? Tell me! You can’t, can you?...I can’t take this any more…I dreamt last night…