publicity that Addison promised him. You can read his whole interview online. And today, our shoot was supposed to happen on a boat and no one told us it was Marleyna's boat. No one asked us about Marleyna becoming a cast member either.” I could go on and on. “I know you said you wanted Addison to feel like this is her show, but the rest of us don't want to be on it if it includes Marleyna. I thought this show was about the four of us,” I continue. “Instead, Addison has looked for controversy and backstabbing at every opportunity. This show is nothing like Secret Life! I think Addison wants our friendship to go bad because it looks good on film.” I keep rambling on, citing examples.
I look up. Addison's face is white. Keiran won't look at me. After a while I realize Susan isn't saying anything. “Susan?”
More silence. Finally she says coolly, “I didn't realize we were making you so unhappy, Charlie. I'm really surprised to hear this. You know, most girls would kill for this opportunity and yet you're getting caught up in minute details.”
“I'd hardly call the things I mentioned minute,” I say, confused by her tone.
“You've signed a contract to do this show,” Susan says sharply. “And you have several more episodes to film. We have the option of picking up more. This is scripted reality. I told you that at the beginning, Charlie. You should have thought about what that meant if you had a problem with it. Scripted means we have a say and when we see an opportunity that would work for the show and for you, we have an obligation to take it. There is a lot of money and a lot of jobs at stake here, including mine. Can you blame me for being invested in exploring new cast members and plot lines?”
Oh my God. “You're the one who set me up with Danny, aren't you?” My voice is hoarse. Hallie's eyes widen.
“Yes,” Susan admits. “I was doing what I thought was best for you and the show. The same goes for Marleyna. You were having problems with Brooke long before this girl came aboard. Marleyna only heightened your problems and the dramatics have made for some great scenes.”
“But you told me Addison hired Marleyna,” I say, feeling suddenly very stupid and very naïve. “You made it seem like Addison was making all the decisions behind the camera. You were so sympathetic every time I called you.” I look at Addison. She looks just as bothered as I feel.
“I did what I needed to do to make this show a success,” Susan says bluntly. “You're a teenager. What do you know about ratings and salaries and making a hit show? If I lied, it was only to protect you from things that would have upset you. You didn't need to know that I was the one calling the shots. Addison has been my go-to girl and my fall guy when I've needed it.”
“Well, she's not your fall guy anymore,” I snap. “None of us are doing this. Keiran, Hallie, and I want off the show. We're not going to be part of your game.”
“Charlie, I suggest you watch your tone,” Susan says icily. “You work for the Fire and Ice Network. You signed a contract and I'd hate to remind you what it would mean to fall into breach of that contract. Even your parents couldn't bail you out of that one so I would tread lightly here. We're going to be working together for a while and I'd hate to have there be tension between us. Now I have a meeting I'm needed in and I'd like to hang up before you say anything you regret. I suggest you head back to the boat and finish your shoot.” Click.
I'm dumbfounded. I resist the urge to drop the phone like it's on fire.
It's Susan. Susan is the mastermind behind everything. Why didn't I see it before? I'm such an idiot.
“That's what I came here to tell you,” Addison says quietly. She bites her lip nervously and looks around. She pulls the mic off her gray tank tee and shuts off the battery pack. She pulls her BlackBerry out of her back pocket and shuts that off too. Addison's eyes are filled with tears. “I feel as lied to as you guys do,” Addison laments. “I've been Susan's protégé for a while. I was her intern before that. She always treated me amazingly and when she told me she was putting me in charge of my first-ever show, I was shocked. A lot of the people I worked with were jealous. They said twenty-five was too young to run a show, but Susan didn't care. She said she'd be there for me every step of the way and show me how things are done. Susan said she wanted a series about four best friends and their lives. Something happy and cute. Not backstabbing, fistfights, and broken hearts. I didn't sign up for this either.”
Hallie pulls out a chair and Addison takes it gratefully. She makes herself comfortable and I motion to Ryan to get her a drink. He's heard the whole conversation—there's no one here but us since school hasn't gotten out yet—and he quickly pours her an iced coffee.
“Thanks,” Addison says and takes a long sip through the straw before continuing. “The minute we started the series, I knew I was in over my head. Susan was demanding from our first day of shooting. She called me incessantly! That's why I'm always slipping away to take calls. She said there was a lot of money riding on this show and it was on her head if it failed. She was the one who pushed for a warm and fuzzy look at best friends and then when she saw the first episode and how—no offense—boring it was, she freaked out and decided to spice things up.” Addison looks miserable. “She didn't want anyone to know it was her. Susan wanted me to be the one taking the punches. She watches every tape reel! Reads every e-mail about the week's plans! She's desperate to beat MTV in the ratings for reality programming and she wants this show to be the biggest ever. She watches the dailies and comments on all of you. She tells me if you are being too boring, or too stiff, and what she wants. She makes me create scenes and refilm other ones.” Addison looks at Keiran. “She's been the toughest on you, Keiran, and I'm so sorry.”
Keiran is crying now and all I can do is look at her. “What did she do to you?” I whisper.
“I've been too embarrassed to tell you guys,” Keiran sniffles. “That's what Addison wanted to talk to me about after lunch that day at the Windjammer. Susan thinks my babysitting spots are lame, I have no personality, and my parents are dull. She suggested I pick a fight with them to jazz things up. I almost died when I heard that.”
“Susan told me if Keiran's story lines didn't improve, she wanted to phase her out.” Addison's voice cracks. “And she wanted me to be the one to tell Keiran. I felt awful about it. I came up with all these scenarios to save Keiran's story line, but it made me sick to my stomach to have to do it. Keiran's life is real and we shouldn't have to fake it to make it appear more interesting.”
“Addison broke down when she saw me break down,” Keiran tells us, and smiles at Addison. “That's when she confessed everything to me. I've known the truth about Susan for a few weeks now, but I couldn't tell you guys. I didn't want Addison to get in trouble and I knew you were talking to Susan, Charlie, and you were so mad at Addison. I couldn't tell you what was going on without the risk of causing more problems.”
“Kiki, you've been holding this in the whole time?” Now I feel even worse.
Keiran nods. “Addison's been trying to help me with my segments, but it's hard to concentrate. All I want is off this show. I've just been too ashamed to tell you two, especially after what happened with Brooke. I didn't want you guys to be mad at me for wanting to leave. I couldn't stand losing another friend because of this stupid show.” She's crying really hard now.
“You could never lose us.” I hug Keiran. “You should't have held all this in. We could have helped you.”
“What happened with Keiran made me really see how Susan's ways were affecting you guys,” Addison confesses. “The crew doesn't get involved so they don't know what is going on, but I couldn't handle it. I confronted Susan and she basically threatened me to keep quiet or I'd never get another producing job again. But I'm not sure I want one if this is what it takes.” Addison's eyes are watery. “This isn't a drama or a sitcom. She's messing with people's lives.”
Addison takes another sip of her iced coffee and the rest of us hold our breath, waiting to hear more. “She's the one who found Danny. She didn't even tell me
about him! She's the one who let Brooke bring Marleyna on. Susan loves the controversy she's caused between you guys. When I told her that Marleyna was destroying your friendship with Brooke, she didn't care. She only cares about what makes good television. She gave Marleyna a contract, but I know, Charlie, she told you it was me who did. She said not to tell you that she was suggesting it. It was just the way things were done.” Addison looks at the table. “I believed her. What did I know? I've only been at Fire and Ice for two years, and Susan loves to remind me of that. She said if I wanted to create a name for myself I would listen to everything she had to say.” Addison laughs bitterly. “I thought she was trying to be my mentor. Not run the show from behind the scenes. But that's what she's doing.”
“I feel like a fool,” I say shyly. “I just assumed. I mean, you work for Susan. I figured you wanted to make this job the best thing on your resume so you'd do whatever it took.”
Addison shakes her head. “Everyone does things to get ahead in their careers, but if this is how television production works, then I don't want to be a part of it. I should have listened to my mom and become a writer.” She smiles. “That's what I really wanted to do anyway. TV is cruel. I want to sit in an office all day and write by myself.”
Ryan brings over a plate of cookies and puts them in the center of the table. “On the house,” he says and winks at me. The four of us take one.
“So Addison's miserable and we're miserable,” I say in between bites. “What are we going to do about it?”
“You said it yourself—they're not going to let us out of the contract if they're making money,” Keiran says miserably.
“Keiran's right,” Addison agrees. “Susan will never let you guys go. She likes this show and she's determined to do what it takes to make it huge.”
“Which means she may let me go,” Keiran says brightly. “She already thinks I'm dead weight.” This makes her laugh a little. “We just have to figure out how to spring you guys.”
“Kiki, you might be on to something there.” Hallie grabs another cookie. “If Kiki is boring and Susan doesn't want her around, maybe all we have to do is be boring too and she'll let us go.”
I shake my head. “Won't it be obvious if we're all suddenly sullen and drab? Susan will just come up with new scenarios to make us more exciting.”
“Maybe you can't be boring, but you can be honest,” Addison suggests. “The last thing Susan wants is bad publicity. Fire and Ice already has enough PR problems with Surf's Up and all the fights those boys get into. She wanted The Cliffs to be anything but problematic.”
“So what do you suggest?” I ask, intrigued.
“The one thing Susan can't stand is negative press,” Addison tells us. “Scandalous details and catfights, she adores. Right now you're giving her exactly what she wants. But if you were to somehow start telling the truth about how fabricated some of the story lines were, what happened on your date with Danny, well, then Susan might go off the deep end.” Addison smiles devilishly.
“Would she be mad enough to fire us?” Hallie asks hopefully.
“She might,” Addison says. “Or she could make your lives miserable and hold you to the contract. She can be vindictive so there is no way of telling.”
We're all quiet. I'm sure we're wondering the same thing: How do we get kicked off The Cliffs without making things worse for ourselves? Whatever we do has to be on a scale so big that Susan can't deny what we're saying is the truth. “I've got it!” I yell. “We need to do a live show!”
“That's perfect!” Addison agrees. “The Apprentice has done one. Dancing with the Stars does it all the time. Live TV is one way Susan couldn't stop you.”
I'm all wound up. “Think of all the ways they could publicize it.”
“I don't get it.” Keiran is confused. “How would a live show help our cause?”
“If we bash Susan and the show on live network television they won't be able to edit it and they'll be forced to let us go,” I tell them excitedly. I look at Addison. “Susan would be so humiliated that she'd have to terminate us immediately, no?”
“What if she sues us for defamation of character?” Hallie asks worriedly.
“Yeah, Charlie, maybe bashing Susan isn't the best idea,” Addison agrees. “But I do like the live show idea. If you reveal how the show really works it still makes everyone look bad.”
“What about Brooke?” Keiran points out. “She'll try to stop us.”
“She won't know what we're up to,” I insist. “All she'll know is that the show is live.”
“I feel kind of bad,” Hallie says, sounding sheepish. “Brooke loves the show.” We all look at her like she's crazy. “I know she's not our friend anymore, but you see how happy it makes her.”
“I'm not sure ‘happy’ is the word,” I say dryly.
“Maybe you won't ruin it for her,” Addison says. “Brooke won't say anything bad about the show. She'll come out sparkling clean. Susan can always spin off the Brooke and Marleyna show. I'm sure they would love it.”
“But what about you?” Keiran asks quietly. “You'll be fired for helping us.”
I forgot about that. Now that I know the truth about Addison, the last thing I want is to take her down. “I don't want you to take the fall for us.”
“I sort of got you guys into this and I'm going to help you get out,” Addison says firmly. “I want off this show too. I'm not sure TV is for me anyway. The hours, being so far from home all the time, taking orders all day long. The stress… my acupuncturist says it's doing bad things for my qi.” She smiles. “I've been thinking about things a lot the past few days and I think I want to go back to school and get my master's in communication. Who knows? Maybe I'll work at a magazine or write a book about Susan—it could be The Devil Wears Prada of the television industry.”
“I would read that.” I smile. I look at Hallie and Keiran. “So what do you guys think?”
“I think it could really work,” Hallie says excitedly.
“I'm one hundred percent behind this,” Keiran agrees.
“You're sure?” Addison asks. “It's a lot to give up, you know. Not everyone is ready to walk away from the fame, the money, the perks.”
I look at my friends, the ones I have left. Brooke is a totally different person now. I don't think we'll ever be friends again. The four of us have fought more these last few months than we ever did before Fire and Ice came knocking. Keiran's self-esteem has plummeted, Hallie has been used, and I chose the show over the first guy I ever really liked. We've been damaged enough. It's time to end this. “We want our old lives back,” I say softly.
Addison smiles. “I completely understand. First things first—I have to get Susan behind the live show concept. I might not call her now; after just talking to you, Charlie, she's probably in a bad mood, but I'll call tomorrow. I want to go back to my place and brainstorm. After we get a yes, we'll hash out the details.”
“Brooke and Marleyna will jump at the chance to do live TV.” Hallie's eyes flash mischievously. “They'll be your biggest supporters. Hey, maybe we should tell them we want to have a sit-down on the show to discuss things. That would definitely entice them and Susan.”
Addison laughs. “I love it!”
“We'll do whatever it takes to make this happen,” I insist.
“Good,” says Addison, sounding satisfied. “Because if this is going to work, it's going to take all of us. We need major organization here.”
Hallie and Keiran look at me and try not to laugh. “Don't worry about that,” I tell Addison. “When it comes to being organized, you've come to the right place.”
sixteen
Get Your Game Face On
I'm pacing the floor at Milk and Sugar and talking to myself like Lou, that creepy cashier at the Five and Dime in town. Unlike Lou, who is stuck wearing a dull brown worker's shirt, I'm dressed to impress in a green sleeveless mini. I figured if this was my last TV appearance—and probably the one that will be YouTu
bed the most—I'd better look good.
“Charlie, if you keep doing that, you're going to wear out the linoleum,” Ryan jokes. “Maybe you should sit. Or have a hot chocolate. That always calms you down.”
“Ryan, it's eighty-five degrees out,” I remind him, feeling cranky.
“That's never stopped you before,” Ryan says as he adjusts his apron with the snazzy new Milk and Sugar logo.
I stop in my tracks, and let my shoulders drop. I'm feeling my Meredith whiny side returning. “What if this doesn't work? What if it totally backfires and my life only gets worse? What if someone realizes what we're trying to do?”
“You're doing a live show,” Ryan reminds me, as if I need reminding. “You're going to make mistakes. No one will notice anything odd. Just be your usual, adorable self.”
Ryan knows our game plan—he was there when we discussed it with Addison—but he's the only one. We agreed that the fewer people involved, the better off we were and the safer they were. We didn't want to take anyone else down with us. It's been two weeks, and so far, everything Addison has set up is going according to plan.
When Addison pitched the idea of a live episode centered around a confrontation between Brooke's camp and mine, Susan thought the idea was brilliant. Addison said she ate up the idea of publicizing the episode everywhere from Us Weekly to Teen Vogue. She even had the press department invite both magazines, plus People.com, to the set for exclusives.
Addison and I were worried that Susan would bring up my irate phone call to her, and of course she did, but
Addison assured her I was just upset about my failed date with Danny and I was fully committed to the show. It's been hard faking things while we waited for the live episode, but Hallie, Keiran, and I managed to shoot our episodes both together and separately—only running into Brooke once at the Crab Shack—without incident. As Hallie pointed out, having a stop date to the show (well, we hope) made filming the last few weeks easier.