Chapter 3
I'd basically killed the conversation with my last response. Ari went to sleep half an hour later without saying anything else, but I tossed and turned for an hour and a half before my hand finally ended up touching Jace's jacket where it was resting on the chair next to my bed.
I ended up pulling the sleeve up onto my bed, near my face where I could smell it. I felt more than a little stupid—especially given that Ari was going to give me an even worse time if she saw it—but by that point I was exhausted enough to try anything.
I held the warm, smooth leather up to my nose and within a few breaths my anxiety started to melt away. Five minutes later I was asleep and dreaming of a white-sand beach that stretched on for miles.
Given how long it had taken me to fall asleep, I expected to wake up exhausted when my alarm finally went off the next morning. Surprisingly, I felt the most rested I had in weeks. Even better, at some point during the night I'd pushed the sleeve of Jace's jacket off of my bed, so there wasn't anything for Ari to tease me about.
I showered and ate breakfast at record speed, which left me with more time to apply the finishing touches to my hair and makeup. I didn't usually wear a lot of makeup—partially because of the expense and partially because dressing to the nines just invited more unwelcome attention from Sandra and her clique—but that didn't mean that I didn't know how.
Ari was just finishing up her breakfast as I came back downstairs. Her eyes lit up as she took in my appearance. The makeup would have been enough all by itself to alert her to the fact that it wasn't just another day, the fact that I was wearing my skinny jeans and my best sweater just sealed the deal.
I could see the war going on inside of her head. She wanted to gloat so much she was practically bouncing in her chair, but she wanted to hang out with Kat again even more and she knew that I was stubborn enough to avoid Jace and his sister if that was what it took to make my point.
Actually, that wasn't true. With a normal guy I would have been capable of avoiding him in order to prove Ari wrong, but I wasn't so sure that was going to be the case with Jace.
I'd gone to sleep thinking about him and then spent the whole night with him on the beaches from my dreams. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him all morning, and I was obviously infatuated enough with him that I was willing to risk Sandra's displeasure.
I managed to get a glass of orange juice poured before Ari stopped fighting against the urge to crow.
"I knew it!"
"Knew what?"
Dad had left his room so quietly that I didn't even realize he was up until he started down the stairs and by then it was too late to warn Ari against saying anything. Ari blanched as she realized that she might have just blown everything. Dad's experiences at work had left him with a severe distrust of wealthy people.
I quickly pulled on the neckline of my sweater, adjusting it so that both of my shoulders were covered and the slack in the neckline hung down my back. Ari and I did our own laundry, so Dad still didn't know that I owned a sweater that hung off my shoulders. I'd kept its existence a secret so far mostly by virtue of the fact that I never wore it, but I should have thought about the fact that I was going to need a jacket to cover it up if I wanted to make it out of the house without Dad seeing it.
I was so worried about my sweater that I didn't have a chance to come up with a believable lie where Jace's jacket was concerned. Luckily Ari was even faster on her feet than normal.
"Selene kept claiming that she wasn't cold yesterday, but she's wearing a sweater today, so obviously she was full of it when she told me that she didn't need to borrow my friend's jacket."
I looked down and realized that I was holding Jace's jacket in my free hand. I didn't even remember picking it up. It was like the stupid thing had grafted itself onto me when I wasn't looking.
Dad tiredly ran his hands through his hair as he took in the jacket that I was very carefully not trying to hide behind me. It was just a jacket, it wasn't like he'd caught me walking around with Jace's boxers.
As soon as I thought that, my face heated up. Dad's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Selene, is there something going on with this boy that I should know about?"
I scrambled for an answer that would keep him from forbidding me from hanging out with Jace and Kat.
"I've only met him the one time, you have nothing to worry about. Besides, Daddy, you can't really think that I would date one of Ari's friends."
Apparently I was believable, because he turned back to Ari. "What about you? Are you crushing on this guy?"
Ari rolled her eyes at him. "I'm way more interested in spending time with his sister than I am in getting to know him, Dad. Boys are icky."
Ari had always been a much better liar than me. She never would have gotten away with telling those kinds of whoppers if Mom had still been around, but my relative lack of interest in boys up until now had somehow convinced Dad that girls didn't actually become interested in boys until after they'd left junior high.
Dad nodded and yawned. "Well, I'm glad that's all settled. By the way, I did notice that your car wasn't in the driveway last night, I just decided against waking the two of you up to find out what happened. So what happened and how long do I have until I need to drive the two of you to school?"
I felt like slamming my head into the nearest wall. I was literally too stupid to have a social life. I'd been so distracted by thoughts of Jace to even try to put together a cover story for when Dad asked me about the car. I should have realized that I was headed into trouble back at school when Jace had first said that he'd bring my car back to my house after he got it fixed.
"Oh, that. Well, I waited at my school for an hour until Ari was done with her drama stuff and then I headed over to her school, but once I arrived over there her friend pointed out that I had a flat tire."
Ari was wide-eyed with nervousness that I was going to screw this up, but so far I was actually managing to avoid my normal, mid-lie stutter.
"So you two got a ride home with someone else and I need to make a trip to the junior high later today and get your flat tire repaired?"
I wouldn't have said it was possible for Ari's eyes to get any wider, but they did. I forced my face to remain relaxed despite my inner alarm. This was the problem with lying, all it took was one unanticipated development to call your whole story into question. If Dad went in to town and saw that my car wasn't at the junior-high building I was going to be in real trouble.
"Actually, we were hoping to save you a trip, Dad. Ari's friend Jace swapped the flat out for the donut and then we drove to the tire store and asked them to fix the flat."
"It was cold and we were standing around for a while, so Jace loaned Selene his jacket…"
I suppressed the urge to shoot Ari a nasty look. Her lie fit in well with the rest of the story I was weaving so far, but the last thing I needed was for her to start elaborating—I was having a hard enough time fitting my lie in around the things that actually had happened. I didn't need her making the process even more complicated.
"Getting a hole patched shouldn't have taken you any more than twenty minutes. Why is the car still at the tire shop? Did you drive on the flat and ruin the tire?"
"No, nothing like that, Daddy. They were getting ready to close by the time we arrived, and the guy behind the counter said nobody was going to be able to stay late to take care of us. He lives out this direction though so he offered to drop us off."
That earned me a frown. "I don't approve of the two of you getting in a car with some random guy who works at the Tire Shack."
"I know, Daddy, but by that time you were already at work and we didn't want to make you come get us."
Ari jumped back in again with an innocent expression that was easily a match for the one that Kat had flashed last night.
"We're sorry, Dad, we didn't know what else to do. Jace followed us out to the Tire Shack. He offered to drive us home instead, but Selene and
I didn't think you'd like us getting into a car with someone who had just barely gotten his license. He's not even supposed to have passengers in the car with him yet, so we decided the best option was for us to go back with the guy from the Tire Shack, but make sure that Jace knew we'd left with him so if we wound up missing someone would know what had happened."
Dad gave us a suspicious look. "What was the name of this guy who brought my daughters home last night?"
"Jack—."
"Jake."
It was the classic mistake you saw characters on sitcoms make. We'd both offered up a different name at the same time. I thought we were screwed, but Ari just laughed.
"I guess it's a good thing that Jace wrote the guy's name down before we left. We wouldn't make very good eye-witnesses."
Dad wasn't fully convinced. "Well, I guess I can have a long conversation with the manager of the Tire Shack when I go in to pick up your car this morning. Next time, just go ahead and drive home on the donut and we'll get the flat fixed the next day. Since I have to take you in to school this morning anyway it's not like it saved me a trip."
Ari was looking at me again, her self-satisfied look replaced by one of nervousness. I still didn't appreciate her jumping in and out of my story, but she was right, if Dad went to the Tire Shack it was only going to take thirty seconds for our lie to fall apart.
"Actually, the Jack-Jake guy said that he was coming in early this morning to try to make up some hours. He was going to try to drop off the car here this morning so that you wouldn't have to drive us in. Sorry, Daddy, we really were just trying to save you a bunch of unnecessary trips into town."
Dad grunted noncommittally. "Let's go see if Jack/Jake came through for you so I know whether I need to change into some jeans."
Dad was obviously waiting for the two of us to lead the way, but I couldn't do that without giving him a clear look at my back and the generous helping of skin that my sweater was currently displaying. Ari looked over at me as though confused over the fact that I hadn't already started moving towards the door.
I pointed at the door with my chin and gave her a pleading look, which finally made things click for her. She jumped to her feet, leaving her bowl and glass on the table, and grabbed Dad's arm as she hurried towards the door.
I waited until they were both headed away from me and then I slipped on Jace's jacket, which was more of an undertaking than it sounded because I had to adjust the neckline of my sweater as I went.
"I'll grab the dishes and be right out."
It took me only a second to drop Ari's bowl and cup into the sink and then I grabbed my backpack and hurried after Ari and Dad. They were both standing next to the car—my car—and some of my lie-induced stress melted away as I realized that there was a good chance that Ari and I were home free now.
Dad had probably come in after two or three in the morning—he was working a lot of overtime—so more than anything he just wanted to go back to bed right now, and once that happened he would naturally revert back to his normal schedule. In spite of every intention of doing so, he probably wouldn't ever make it to the Tire Shack.
"How early did you say that kid was going to drop this car off?"
Ari looked at me questioningly, obviously unsure where Dad was going with this particular line of questioning. It's hard to tell an effective lie if you don't know what the other person is really after.
"I'm not sure. I don't think he said a specific time, just that he would have it to our house well before we needed to go to school."
"He can't have dropped it off in the last few minutes or I would have heard it pull into the driveway, but I just don't get why he would have gone to all that trouble and then dropped it off so early that he wouldn't have any chance of seeing the two of you…"
"Daddy, not every guy who is nice to us has ulterior motives. I think he really just felt bad about not being able to get our tire fixed last night."
"It's sweet that you think so, Selene, but as the resident male I'm the only one in the family qualified to speak to the motivations of my gender. Trust me, that kid had only one thing on his mind. I'm just glad that you have enough sense not to get involved with any guys your age. Keep doing what you're doing. You can start dating when you turn thirty. By then at least some of the guys your age will have matured enough to be worthy of you."
Ari rolled her eyes at Dad behind his back, but I almost didn't notice because I'd just spied a white envelope resting on the driver's seat. It was hard to see because of the tinted windows, but it was definitely there, and if Dad got close enough to my car to see Jace's message I was back to being screwed.
"If you're done planning out the next decade of my life, Ari and I need to get to school and you need to go back upstairs and get some more sleep."
"What's the rush? Usually you drag out of here at the last possible second. You're the last person in the world to be rushing off to school."
I casually stepped between him and the car, blocking his view of Jace's note with my body. "I'm not in a hurry to get to school, I'm in a hurry to get away from here before you decide to launch into 'the talk' again—out here in the middle of the driveway, no less."
That shut Dad up instantly. He went bright red and looked like he wished he could jump into a hole and pull it closed behind him. I felt bad—those conversations weren't any less awkward for him than they were for us—but he was the parent so we had extra right to be grossed out by them.
Ari stood up on her tiptoes to give Dad a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then ran back inside. "I need my book bag, I'll be right back."
"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, Selene, I just don't want you to get into trouble. That kind of thing can change the entire course of your life."
"I know, Dad. You're just going to have to trust in the fact that I'm levelheaded and antisocial enough not to get swept off of my feet by the first smooth-talking guy who shows the slightest bit of interest in me."
Dad looked at the ground, obviously unsure of how to respond to that, and I took him by the arm, gently pulling him toward the house. "Please go back inside and get some more sleep. Ari and I worry about you—if you let work run you down you'll end up sick again. With the way they've cut back your salary, you've been using up all of your vacation days to bring in enough money to keep ahead of the bills, so you can't afford to get sick."
"How did you know that?"
"I do all of the shopping, Dad, remember? You gave me access to the bank statements so I can make sure the checkbook balances. I know how much you make, and there's been extra money coming into our account with every paycheck for a couple months now. It wasn't hard to guess how you were coming up with the extra."
"Have you told Ari?"
"No, she doesn't need to know."
"Good. I wish I'd thought to make sure you wouldn't know, but I guess it's too late to stew about that."
"What are you going to do once you run out of vacation to cash in, Dad?"
"I don't know, sweetheart. I've been looking for some kind of part-time gig to supplement what I get at the factory, but nobody in town is hiring."
"Maybe I could get something after school to help out. I know you always say that school is more important, but a few hours a week wouldn't make any real difference when it comes to my grades and it could help out a lot when it comes to paying off our bills."
"No, Selene—"
"You can't just say no and expect that to be the end of the discussion, Daddy. I'm practically an adult now. I deserve to be able to help out—"
He pulled me into a hug. "There's nothing out there right now, honey. I ran through all of the regular blue-collar stuff weeks ago and I've been applying at fast-food joints and anywhere else that still has their doors open ever since then. Even if it was a good idea to let you sacrifice your future in an effort to pay down our bills, it wouldn't matter. There isn't a job to be had in this town for love nor money."
"This is Mr. Conner's fault. If he ha
d a decent benefits package the insurance would have paid for the medical expenses."
I tried to sound reasonable, but I couldn't help myself. The anger I felt towards Sandra and the anger I felt towards her father had all mixed together into one big, messy ball. I couldn't talk about either of them without hatred leaching into my voice.
"You shouldn't talk like that, Selene."
"Why? It's true. Everything bad that's happened to us since Mom was diagnosed can be laid directly at the feet of the Conner family."
"You shouldn't talk like that because words give extra power to emotions and I don't want you to end up a bitter old woman. Not only that, right now Mike Conner is the only thing keeping us from going bankrupt. If he hadn't given me that raise last year we would have lost our house."
"Some raise. It was less than two thousand dollars a year more once you add in the overtime you used to get before he moved you to salaried. When you figure in all of the extra hours you work now you're probably worse off."
"Maybe so, but it has let us survive for this long."
"We should move, Dad. Let's go somewhere else where you can make the money you deserve."
"The whole state is this way right now, Selene. I'll admit I avoided looking outside of this area for a while, but even I couldn't deny the truth when it was staring me in the face like it has been for the last several months. I've been looking for something like I've got at the tile factory, and everywhere I turn it's the same story. The economy is slowing down, businesses are shrinking and going out of business."
"So look outside of Colorado. Look out of the country if you have to. Ari and I will follow you wherever you find work. There isn't anything tying us to Cold Springs anymore."
Dad started to respond, but the sound of footsteps stopped the words before they made it past his tongue.
"We'll talk about this later, Selene. No speaking out of turn, you hear?"
"Yes, Dad."
Dad gave me one more squeeze and then released me from our hug and started up the stairs toward Ari. She absently returned his hug, at which point I realized that I needed to get around to the other side of the car. I was going to have to hurry if I was going to hide Jace's letter before Ari opened the passenger door and Dad saw the simple white square.
I got my door open a split second before Ari opened hers up and started to drop down into my seat, only to be pulled up short by my dad's voice. I slipped my right foot up onto my seat and covered the letter with the sole of my shoe.
"Selene, it was just the one tire, right? And the Tire Shack didn't say anything about putting new tires on, right? Because those tires look—"
"They look black, rubbery, and full of air, Daddy, just like they are supposed to. Can we please go? If we don't get on our way we really are going to end up late."
"Okay, drive safe."
Ari was still waving goodbye to Dad as I slid into my seat, so I managed to keep the note hidden from her too. I didn't want to give her any more ammunition—she was going to tease me mercilessly as it was.
My normal reluctance—and lack of skill—when it came to deceiving, had combined with the frank discussion regarding the family finances to throw my emotions into a tangled knot. We'd been driving for nearly five minutes before the muscles in my neck and shoulders finally started to unknot.
As we turned onto Main Street Ari looked over at me. "You've got some serious tells you're going to need to work on if you're going to be successful at this whole lying thing."
"I wasn't exactly planning on making a career out of it, runt."
"Really? You mean you aren't planning on spending the afternoons with Kat and Jaaa-ace?"
Ari once again added an extra syllable to Jace's name, and I blushed again despite my best efforts. There was no way she was going to miss the red creeping up over the collar of Jace's leather jacket.
"That's what I thought. I can count the number of times I've seen you wear that sweater on one hand. You've got it so bad, but it's kind of cute that you're still in denial. Trust me, if you want to avoid a big blowup with Dad, lying to him is the only way you're going to get to spend any time with Jace."
I pulled the car up to the curb in front of Ari's school and pointed at the big red door the other students were entering through.
"Get to your classes, and not a word about any of this to your little friends, or I'll stop coming to get you after school."
"Like that will ever happen. I'm not that lucky."
I tried to shove Ari's shoulder, but she was too fast—she unbuckled her seatbelt and slipped out of the car inches ahead of my hand, then she stuck her head back into the car for one last parting shot.
"I don't need to say anything to my friends, dummy. You showed up at my school in a Dodge Viper with Jace's sister, who happens to be hot enough to make half of the girls in school wish they played for the other team, and you're wearing Jace's jacket to school. Trust me, everyone is going to know that you and he are an item."
Ari shut the car door before I could muster any kind of response and skipped into the school without looking back.
She was right; I had it bad. I was going to be so screwed when Sandra found out.