He laughs at me, “Based on a true story. Creative license you know, besides he obviously slept with her at some point who’s to say it didn’t happen this way?”
“Oh, wow Sean.” I grab a pillow burying my face into it.
“I know, but it’s really not that much more, only a few lines.”
I jump up, “I don’t have to have sex with you again do I?”
Sean laughs, “I am extremely hurt by that … but no, not on camera at least.”
I crawl into his lap, “Will you help me?”
“Of course, and Ethan said to tell you he will be available as well.”
Some little guy brings me a script to go over, my hands shake as I take it from him, unsure of what awaits me. Ethan helps me understand the character and how to approach each scene. It actually is not too much of a stretch for me. A scared pregnant girl unsure if the father of her child will hate her … or support her, sounds very familiar actually. However, things turned out better for me. Sean actually does love me, this guy was in love with another woman at the time. Damn I wish I could drink.
~
Walking with Ethan and Carol to the set, I am dressed in my new wardrobe of jeans and a well-worn t-shirt that is stretched tight over my fake baby belly. They for some reason were concerned about me looking fat. Daniel the director greets me warmly, putting his arm around my shoulder as he explains things to me. I am glad Ethan pulls me away from him, I am not comfortable with him being that close. It is going to be simple, walk into where Sean will be with all of his crew and his newly declared girlfriend. I have to interrupt him and … tell him. They are in their hometown of Tennessee, working in their custom fitted garage and trying to figure out new stunts for a series of shows they are going to be kicking off in Texas. My name is Aimee, Aimee Barron. I have to remember to call him TC for Thomas Castor and not Sean. That’s going to be hard. They lockdown the set and on the other side of this door, the others begin their roles. Nerves creep into my body like needles piercing through my skin. I miss when it was simply sweet butterflies. I close my eyes and breathe until Carter walks up patting my arm.
“Ready?” He cocks his head to one side sympathetically. I shake my head. “You’ll be fine, just breathe, they are going to focus on Sean’s reaction to you anyway, not so much you.”
We wait to get our cue and Carter takes me to where we are supposed to enter, where we wait again until we are to go. I am glad Carter has to enter before me, introducing me to the scene. I look down at my rounded belly figure and my mind goes a million miles a second. Calm down Ava or they will make you do it again and again. I close my eyes and next thing I know … Carter is pulling me through the door, my security blanket. I follow behind him shuffling my heavy feet along with me. We approach a crew of people, most helping work on the car but a few going over ideas at a nearby table with Sean. I mean TC! Dear God please help me get through this. What I wasn’t expecting was Tami. I mean Lacey, Damn! I knew she was playing his love interest in this movie but I was not expecting her in these scenes. I don’t know why, she is supposed to be a part of the crew … his crew. Rambling, I’m rambling to myself and not paying one bit of attention. I check back in luckily before I miss much, only some general hellos and nervous stares.
Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
“Ummm TC, someone is here to see you,” Carter. I mean Mitch his manager said, fuuuckkk!
“Really, who’s that?” TC turns catching an eye full of me.
“You should go talk to her … alone I think,” Mitch says tapping him on the shoulder.
TC gets up from the table intense and focused, my heavy feet instantly try to carry me backwards. I look away from him, only to see Lacey staring a hole right through me. Oh God. I gulp as I match up with TC one on one.
“So you have something to say to me?” He said crossing his arms and glancing down at my stomach before resting on my watery eyes.
“Can we go somewhere a little more private?” I said gripping my trembling hands.
“This is private enough, just tell me what you have to say,” he snapped.
I take a deep breath, feeling the tears making their way to the surface, “Do you remember me?” I said softly.
“What?” He yelled.
“Do you remember me? You know from South Carolina, the little town that you stopped in to do your show about six months ago? We met at the bar. I was sitting on a stool and then …”
“Yeah I know, so what about it?” He stares into my eyes daring me to confess my secret.
The floor becomes my new focus as my back meets the wall, “So you do remember me?”
“I said I did, didn’t I?” He snaps at me.
I cringe feeling his anger heat up my skin, “Well I just wanted to let you know that I …” I force myself to look up at his harsh eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
“I can see that. Are you claiming it’s mine?” I nod while holding my breath. “Why should I believe that?”
I shake my head. Breathe! Tears are flowing down my face uncontrollably and I lose concentration. I close my eyes trying to remember my line but I can’t.
End Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
I grip Sean’s arm and they stop us.
“That was good Ava,” Sean said taking me into his arms. “That was real good sweetheart.”
“I couldn’t remember my next line though.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“You did wonderful Ava,” Tami said kindly.
“Really?” I asked her.
“Oh yes, you almost made me cry,” Tami said patting me on the back before leaving to have her makeup retouched.
“See, I told you,” Sean said kissing me on the cheek before he is over taken with people to check his own appearance.
I step back into place. We are to start from Sean’s last comment. Sean stares at me with a furious intent for a few minutes before we start, reviving my uneasiness again.
Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
“I can see that. Are you claiming it’s mine?” I nod cautiously. “Why should I believe that?”
“Because …” I said softly. “Because I haven’t been with anyone else. Why else would I come all this way Tennessee?” My southern twang easily comes back to me as my emotions get carried away.
“To get money,” his says with an assured voice.
I look back at Lacey before finding my secure point on the floor. “Just forget it. I’ll figure it out on my own. I knew this was a mistake,” I move back towards the door.
TC grabs my arm spinning me back around, “What do you mean you’ll figure it out?”
“I don’t want anything from you. I only wanted to let you know is all.”
“Well who is helping you now?” He said stern but with a softer tone
“No one.”
“No one? How have you been getting by?”
“I was waitressing at McKinney’s Bar but they don’t really like pregnant girls working there so they fired me a few months ago. Now I’m a cashier at the grocery. It doesn’t pay as well but I got another roommate to move in with us to help pay the bills.”
He narrows his eyes at me, “Us? How many people do you live with?”
“Five, three girls and two boys. It’s not much to look at but a pretty sturdy house. It’s down the street from the Piggly Wiggly, so I don’t have to walk far. I even made up a spot in the basement for me and the baby - it’s like our own little place now. I hung up sheets so we can have our privacy and the church gave me a crib. The sheets for it are pink with yellow bows though, but I suspect he won’t ever know the difference anyhow.”
He is silent and breathing steadily. “He?”
“It’s a boy,” I shrug with uncomfortable smile.
“Oh, ummm,” his eyes wander the room around him before they meet mine again. “You should live here in Tennessee. Stay here and I’ll help you with whatever you need.”
“Really?” I ask with excitement.
?
??I’m not about to have my son live in that mess,” he said flashing a meager smile.
“So what now?” I asked him.
“I don’t know … I guess we get you moved here.”
“I only have this one suitcase and my cousin Jeanie drove me here, so … this is all I got.” I confessed, feeling embarrassed for some reason.
He folds his hands over his head sighing again, “Well that should make it easy. You can stay with me for now.” He looks me up and down a couple of times seeming to contemplate something. “Anyway, I have three bedrooms, so there is plenty of room for you both.”
I bite my lip, fighting my emerging smile.
End Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
The scene ends there, with us anyway. Sean has to go back and do another with the rest of them. Tami especially, who he now has to tell that I am having his baby and moving in with him. I can’t watch this scene, Sean said he is going to get hit and slapped several times by her and I can’t handle any more crying by anyone. My next scene is late getting started because Sean continuously refers to me as Ava rather than Aimee in his scene with Tami, which shocks me - he does not usually mess up like that.
~
My heavy eyes, force me to fall deep into my dreams that is until I feel soft lips on mine. I reach out and hold him to me. “All done?” I asked relieved to see his smiling green eyes again.
“Almost,” Sean sighed sinking in next to me, “Only our scenes left now.”
“You look worried,” I said.
“I am not worried about you, I am worried about me.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Ava are you serious?”
“It’s only a movie,” I shrug trying to lighten his mood.
“Yeah well it’s a little too close to home for me. It’s …” He lets go of me to rub his face and exhale fully.
“You will be wonderful Sean, I know it,” I said.
“Thanks for the confidence but I’m not so sure.” I kiss him and lie against his chest listening to his heart beat rhythmically.
For my next scene I am dressed somewhat better than previous scenes. I have on a simple dress that meets my knees and is not nearly as tight, I can actually walk and breathe at the same time. “Are you ready?” Sean asked me.
“Ready to get it over with,” I said.
“Me too,” he said as I lean against him and feel his heart beating rapidly. “Alright give me your hand,” I put my hand in his and he walks me to our spot. Barely a second passes before we walk through the makeshift door of a small town restaurant and bar.
Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
TC holds my hand but barely acknowledges my presence as we walk up to his crew. He greets them with a smile except for Lacey who ignores him noticeably. We sit as far away from her as possible but close enough for them to exchange glances at each other throughout our meal. I do not say much, except when someone asks me a question about the baby but mostly I just sit and watch TC staring at Lacey.
“If you want to go talk to her you can,” I said as he looks down at me for the first time tonight.
“I don’t.”
“It sure does seem like you do. If you like her, I understand if you want to be with her instead. You don’t owe me nothing.”
He looks back at me angry as he downs his beer, “Why don’t you mind your own damn business?”
I look away from him, glancing at her as she gathers her things and leaves abruptly. TC slams another beer on the table and looks out the window to watch her leave. As person after person leaves us, he sits silently ordering another beer and then another.
“Are we going to leave soon?” I asked shyly glancing at the table full of bottles.
“To go where?” He snapped.
“I don’t know. Home maybe?”
“Home? Then what.” He snaps. “What - you want to play cards or maybe curl up on the sofa together like the beautiful couple we are?” He stares into the side of my head as I squirm in my seat. “What do you want to do Aimee?”
Cringing I feel the tears surfacing again. I’m getting good at this. “I’m kind of tired I’d like to go to bed.”
He laughs, “Tired? It figures. You’re not a whole lot of fun you know that?”
“I’m pregnant, the doctor says that’s what supposed to happen.”
He rolls his eyes, “Fine.” He sits for a few minutes before pushing away his last beer and sighing. “Do you mind if we go somewhere first?” I shake my head anxious just to go. “Come on.” He helps me up, walking me to the door casually with one hand on my back and the other holding the door open for me.
End Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
Sean and I wait while they setup our last scene. We are going to be sitting in his convertible now. Sean is already in the car waiting for me when I come in. I sit next to him and he slides me closer to him, focusing in on my eyes and caressing my face.
“What?” I asked him.
“Ava I love you, please don’t ever forget that,” Sean said kissing my hands gently.
“I love you too. It will be fine baby - I promise.” He nods allowing me to lean against him, his heart now imprinting on his shirt it’s thumping so hard.
Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
I stare at the stars from his lap, while TC drinks another beer and plays with my hair. “This is beautiful. What made you want to come here?” I asked.
“I just thought you might like it.”
I sit up to look at him, “I thought you were mad at me?”
He shakes his head, “I didn’t mean to take it out my problems on you, it’s not your fault.”
I move to my side of the car, leaning against the door as I look up at the stars. I smile as I try to imagine something any more perfect than this. TC suddenly leans over and kisses me hard, “What are you doing?” I asked him holding my mouth.
“Damn, can’t I kiss you?”
“I just didn’t know you wanted to.”
“I do, and in fact.” He fumbles around in his pocket pulling out a ring. “I want you to marry me.” My eyes widened with his casual handling of the ring.
“What? Really?”
“Really, but you have to kiss me right now to get it,” he smiles his cocky smile holding the ring out from me like bait. I kiss him happily and he gives me the tiny ring. I put it on my finger and smile wildly at him. He kisses me hard again, barely giving me time to breathe, “I want you Aimee, I want you right now,” he said moaning and rubbing my thighs.
“Okay,” I said trying to catch my breath.
He continues to kiss me as he undoes his pants. Kissing my neck and sliding his hand up my leg and under my dress. He makes it to my underwear and starts to pull them off when he suddenly jumps to the other side of the car.
“What the hell is that?” He yelled.
“What was what?” I asked confused.
“Your stomach, it jumped at me.”
I laugh feeling my stomach, “No it’s just the baby kicking.” I reach for his hand and place it on my stomach. “I bet he knows you’re his Daddy.” He stares at his hand and then at me. “It’s not a big deal, it happens sometimes,” I smile but he pulls his hand away from me.
“I think we should go,” he said avoiding my eyes.
“I thought you wanted to …”
“No, let’s go home, you need some rest I’m sure.”
I sit back in my seat staring at my ring smiling, “Do you think we can get married in a church? I would really like to start things off right.” I asked fantasizing about my expected wedding day.
“Whatever you want,” he said in a daze.
End Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
The scene needs a change of scenery and we adjust as Sean closes his eyes with a heavy breath. I grab his hand, rubbing circles with my thumb but he doesn’t look up at me he simply waits for the scene to begin again.
Scene: Reckless: Aimee / Ava
I look out at the rode as we drive home. “Aimee?”
TC asked.
“Yeah?”
“I … I” He closes his eyes for a second. “I slept with Lacey last night and I asked her to marry me.” My mouth drops, but I stay silent as I look at the ring on my finger. “She said no and I thought …”
“You thought you would ask me since she turned you down?” He nods. “Because you are hurt not because you wanted to.” I stare out over the passenger door wanting nothing more than to jump out of this car and run.
“No, I do want to. I mean I love her but she doesn’t want me and I know eventually I can love you the same way.” Tears pour from my eyes. “I never forgot you Aimee, you were important to me at the time. I just didn’t expect to see you ever again.”
“No TC!” I yell pushing his hand away from me.
He grabs my face and tries to get me to look at him, “I want to be with you Aimee, please say you want to be with me.”
“You only want me because she doesn’t.”
“No that’s not true, she even knows that. That’s why she said no.” I shake my head pulling as far away from him as possible.
“Do it for the baby, Aimee.” I go silent. “He deserves a father in his life,” he pleads.
“Are you going to be there? Or are you going to be out running around with other girls?” I stare at him as he tenses his hands on the wheel. “You know you won’t be able to stay at home and work a regular job and not cheat on me every chance you get.”
“I don’t need to get a regular job Aimee, I have a job, and I won’t cheat on you.” TC tries to convince me
“You already did!”
“I did not!”
“You slept with her just last night.”
“So what, that was before I proposed to you.”
“But we’ve been together.”
“Together? You live in my house, I have barely touched you since you moved in. How do you figure we’ve been together?”
“I sleep in your bed with you every night,” I cried to him.
“So what, you slept in my bed when I got you pregnant. Did you think we were together then?”
“At the time … kind of.”
“Oh please, you are either really naïve or stupid. How many guys have you slept with Aimee? What five, fifteen or is it more like fifty?”