I'd had a choice before, to let her live her life, a normal human life, but that choice had been taken from me when my kind had decided that it was time to invade. Now the only concern I had was what would become of her if I didn't return.
I'd put her in this highly perilous position and I'd do everything I could to make sure she remained safe, even if it meant I never came back from that ship. She'd survive, I knew that. I'd break her heart again, I'd leave her in a precarious world, but she'd survive her broken heart, and her loved ones would be there for her. Including Lloyd, who still grumbled about aliens and watched me like a hawk, but I'd given him more than a few chances to attack me and he hadn't taken them. He wouldn't have succeeded but at least I knew where he stood, and if he did go after Bethany I was certain she would be able to take him down with much more ease than she'd shown with that cougar.
I'd do whatever it took to keep her safe and the only way to ensure her safety was to get on that ship and destroy the Tintagelians that had driven us into this remote corner of the state, and to each other. I still didn't entirely trust the Tintagelians in the room with me, but I saw the love between them and the ones they loved. If they had one ounce of the same amount of love for their Souls as I had for Bethany then they would also sacrifice everything in order to ensure that they stayed alive.
My gaze slid back to Bethany as Bret bent to whisper something in her ear. Jealousy slithered down my spine, not that they would get back together as I knew that wasn't a possibility, but that he would get to see her when all of this was over. That he would continue to be in her life when I highly doubted that I would be. It wasn't a suicide mission exactly, but it was on the borderline.
"When would you like to go?" Jessica asked.
I forced myself not to glance at Bishop who had assured me his concoction of every deadly thing he could get his hands on would be ready to go tomorrow. It wasn't nearly as much time as I wanted with her but the longer we waited the more likely the chance we would be discovered here.
"Tomorrow night."
I didn't miss the sudden, harsh inhalation of Bethany's breath or the flutter of her eyes as they darted past me to the window beyond. Less than a day, it was all we had left together. I wasn't willing to spend one more second standing here amongst this group. Striding over to Bethany, Bret took a step back as I slid my hand into hers and clasped it before me.
"We'll leave at sunset," I added.
I didn't look back as I led Bethany out of the small cabin and down the steps. Avoiding the main gate of the encampment, I led her through the deeper shadows, passed the shanties crudely assembled from tin, plywood, and even some tires. She didn't labor to keep up with my pace anymore, but walked at my side with her gaze focused straight ahead. This new woman beside me was fascinating to watch grow and learn new things about herself, but I'd also loved the girl who had stumbled over her own feet and sat in gum at lunch.
I stopped at the back fence and pulled aside the hole I had discovered in it days ago. Bethany slipped through it with me close on her heels. Though the others would stay within the camp, or outside the main gate, we were going to stay in the small shack on the outskirt of the fence that had been established as an outpost for the encampment.
Arriving at the door of the hut I released her hand and opened it cautiously. I poked my head inside but I smelled nothing off within and I didn't hear the pulse of any heartbeats. Taking hold of her hand I led her inside and lit the small lamp sitting beside the bed. There was so much to say and yet there were no words that I could give her, no promises that I could make.
She seemed to understand this as instead of trying to talk me out of it, instead of trying to convince me to take her with me she simply came to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. A contented sigh escaped me as I embraced her against my chest. I hadn't expected tears; I knew she wouldn't cry, not in front of me, she would save her tears for when I was gone.
I inhaled her sweet scent as I buried my face in her hair. In school she'd smelled of strawberries or apples, depending on which shampoo she was using at the time. Now she smelled of woods and earth and a scent that was inherently her. Something sweet and magnificent that made my blood race and my breath quicken as her hands slid up the back of my shirt and around to the front of it.
I had planned to talk and kiss and hold her as I savored every second of the time we had left together, but as her fingers slid down to the waistband of my jeans I knew that what I wanted more than anything was to lose myself in her. To bury myself in the taste and feel of her, to become consumed by the pleasure that only she could give me.
Too fast, it was far faster than I had anticipate for it to be, but she didn't protest as I lifted her up and deposited her on the small bed within the room. It was too out of control but as I lost myself within her body and soul I knew there was nothing controllable about what was between us.
***
"Cade?"
"Hmm?" I inquired as I traced the contours of her slender, pale back.
"Do you still have your crystal?"
I frowned as my hand stopped moving. "No."
She turned her head and rested it on her folded arms as she looked up at me. "You got rid of the crystal that allowed you to see your homeland?"
"The day I met you."
I brushed the hair back from her face as her mouth parted. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as I memorized every minute detail of her, right down to the different shapes of her freckles. She wasn't beautiful, not like Jenna's refined and delicate perfection. No, Bethany's beauty was far more understated but her soul was nearly tangible as it radiated from her like the sun and lit her from the inside out.
"That was the only piece of your home you had," she whispered.
"You're my home Bethany; I've known it since the day we met."
She moved closer to me and buried her face in my neck. I enveloped her within my arms and held her against me. The press of her body against mine was the only thing that could ease the ache within my heart. This could be the biggest mistake of my life, leaving her like this, but I didn't know how else to protect her. I didn't know how else to give her a chance to survive in this world.
I wasn't leaving an unruly and precarious creature behind that couldn't defend herself. She could control her appetite and knew how to feed on prey that wasn't human in order to ensure her survival if the meat supply ran low. She was better able to defend herself than I ever would have imagined six months ago and not because she was stronger and faster than most humans now, but also because she had struggled to survive with the others. She hadn't spent the past few months hiding from the monsters but rather she'd spent that time learning how to fight them. It would be difficult for her without me, but she'd live, I knew that.
"No matter what happens Bethany, to me or to you, I need you to know that I love you." Her eyes shimmered with tears when she lifted her head to look at me again.
"And I love you," she whispered. "But you'll come back, I know you will."
"I'm going to do everything in my power to come back to you."
I couldn't bring myself to issue promises to her that I would definitely come back. There was a good possibility that I wouldn't be back, and I refused to lie to her. I wiped away the tears that slid from her eyes.
"I'll be here," she promised. "I'll always be here for you."
She was finally beginning to realize what I'd known all along, she was stronger than she'd ever given herself credit for. Even after her father's death, when she'd been so broken and lost, she'd had a rod of strength within her that few humans possessed. She had her weaknesses, but they no longer crippled her, she faced them head on and dealt with them as they came at her. She would face my loss with the same stalwart determination she used to face everything else in her life.
"They have a child Cade."
I smiled as I wrapped a strand of her hair around my finger. It was nearly as golden as the aura she radiated. "They do."
Hope
filled her eyes as her hand fell upon my arm. "We could too, if you come back?"
Dreams I'd never had unfurled before me and I knew there was nothing I wanted more than to come back here and have a child with her. Nothing I wanted more than to start a family with her, to call her mine for the rest of our lives and to be able to love her freely.
"If I come back we will have a child," I promised her.
I couldn't resist kissing her again. Pulling her against me, I slid my hands through her hair as her mouth opened to my invasion. She was always so warm, so willing and giving. I'd never met anyone like her; I doubted they even existed as she gave her heart, body and soul freely to me with an eager acceptance that left me desperate for even more of her.
I felt the edges of her soul tickling against mine and the driving urge to grasp hold of it seized me. I fought the urge though as my hands slid over her silken skin. Though I was hungry, I couldn't take anymore from her, I'd seen the changes it had rendered in Rosemary and I couldn't take the chance that consuming more of her would have such an effect on me before I made it onto that ship.
She'd already made me more human by loving me, the beauty and strength of her soul was only going to continue that process.
Then she latched onto something within me. The breath left my chest as she began to taste me in pulling waves that shook me. My hands clenched in her hair, instinctively I wanted to pull away from the feeling of vulnerability the action aroused in me, but then pleasure swamped me as I gave myself over to her quest for more.
My heart raced as her fingers curled into my arms and she held onto me. Her breath was subtle against my lips as she opened even further to me. She was the most magnificent thing I'd ever experienced and I simply couldn't get enough of her. There was no doubt within me that I would gladly hand over my own life for hers.
Chapter 19
Bishop slipped the leather pouch with the ten vials of poison he'd created safely into a pocket sewn on the inside of the shirt he held. "One drop of this stuff would kill a human but I have no idea what it would do to an alien without testing it on one of you first."
"Well let's just hope that it will be effective against them," I said.
"There's a syringe in here too, if you're able to get close enough to inject someone with it they should drop like a drunken sailor on leave." Bishop's gray eyes appeared even larger behind his glasses as he lifted his head to look at me. His ingrained curiosity was evident as he studied me. "I plan to try and find some more medical equipment to study Bethany's blood if I can."
Everything in me protested the statement, but there was nothing to hide anymore. "Ok," I said.
My gaze slid to her as she stood surrounded by Abby and Aiden. Bret stood slightly to the side with his arms folded over his chest. Jenna stood beside him, and though they weren't showing it around anyone yet, I'd noticed a subtle change in their scents when they were around each other now. A spike in their hormone levels that no human would have been able to detect but I knew it indicated that they had resumed their old relationship.
"There could be something in her blood that could help us, maybe," Bishop said.
I turned my attention back to the doctor. I trusted these people with the most important thing in my life, it was something I'd never done before, but as Bishop held my gaze I knew I was doing the right thing. They would all do what it took to keep each other safe. Even Lloyd, who was still sullen and resentful toward Bethany and me, was standing protectively behind the others with his rifle pressed against his chest.
I nodded as Darnell stepped beside Lloyd and they spoke softly. Darnell took hold of Lloyd's rifle before he came toward me. "I told you I'd give you something that could cause some damage to that monstrosity." Lloyd dug into his pocket and pulled out a grenade. "It's our last one so put it to good use by blowing those assholes out of the sky."
"I will," I assured him as I took it from him and slipped it into my pocket.
"Do you know how to use it?"
"I've got a pretty good idea."
"I've also got these for you." Lloyd pulled a small pack forward and pulled out an oilskin cloth from a pouch within it. He rolled the oilskin open to reveal a small pipe with a single fuse sticking out the end of it.
"You're going to have to be really careful with these," Lloyd told me. "I'm good with explosives but these certainly do not contain military grade materials. They contain a hodgepodge collection of whatever I could find in the nearby homes that could be used as an explosive. Too much jostling and these things could blow. I would suggest ditching them if you have even a little doubt that they'll be able to make it through."
He handed me a Zippo lighter and a small pair of scissors. "You've got about five seconds after you light it before it explodes. I normally would never make it so short but you guys are so fast that five seconds may be too long even. If you feel you need less time cut it shorter before lighting it."
I studied the deceptively innocent looking soldier as he folded the oilcloth and tucked it into another pouch that had been sewn into the inside of the shirt. He'd been resentful after learning the truth but as he handed me the shirt I realized that he hoped for my return. It was a strange realization as I thought Bethany was the only one that had any real concern for me, but as I looked at the group I saw the strain on all of their faces. Abby and Jenna even had tears in their eyes. Perhaps, if I somehow made it back, these people could become my friends. Or perhaps they already considered themselves my friends and I had never realized it. Either way it wouldn't matter unless I returned.
"Good luck and don't blow yourself up first," Lloyd said to me.
I forced a smile to my face, I didn't feel as distant and cold as I had before tasting Bethany's soul, but I wasn't entirely sure what was changing within me yet either. "I'll try not to." I assured him before turning away from him. I slid a t-shirt over my head and turned as Bishop held out the black button up shirt to me. I could feel the weight of the pouches against my chest but the baggy black shirt hid them well as I slid the buttons into place.
Bishop nodded his approval. "You can't even tell they're there."
"Good."
Taking a deep breath, I turned to Bethany. This was going to be the worst part. Bethany forced a smile as I walked over and took hold of her hands. "I promise as long as I draw a breath I will try and come back to you."
Her hands clenched around mine. "I'll be here."
I clasped hold of her cheeks as I bent and kissed her forehead. "I love you," I whispered in her ear.
Her hands clenched on my arms. "I'll always love you, always."
I reluctantly released my hold on her but her fingers dug into my flesh. "Bethany..."
Her eyes were closed as her hands slid away from me. "Be careful, don't do anything to get yourself killed, if you can't succeed then come back and we'll figure out another way," she gushed out.
There was no other way; this was the only chance we would have to defeat them, if we failed in this than all hope for humanity would be lost. I didn't say this to her though, I couldn't take away this bit of hope she had. Unable to resist, I kissed her quickly again before tearing myself away from her.
"Stay safe Bethany, don't do anything crazy."
"Never," she replied with a fleeting smile.
I didn't look back as I turned and walked away, but I caught the scent of her tears as I made my way out of the small clearing. It took everything I had to keep walking, to keep putting one foot in front of the other instead of turning back and refusing to let her go again. Darnell fell into step beside me and Bret appeared on my other side as we moved further into the woods.
"Are you sure about this?" Bret asked.
"Can you think of another way?" I inquired.
"I mean are you sure about leaving her? With the way that she is now and the changes she's gone through?"
I stopped walking and turned to face him. Bret almost walked into me but managed to catch himself in time. "She's the same girl you'
ve always known; she's just stronger and faster."
"With a taste for blood."
"She's controlling it and she will continue to do so. Do you think Bethany would ever purposely hurt someone?"
Bret's eyes flickered behind me and his shoulders slumped. "No but she's so different and without you to lean on..."
"Bethany is far stronger than she, or you, ever gave her credit for. It's time you started to realize that because she's going to need all of her loved ones in the coming days."
Bret's eyes widened as realization set in. "You don't plan on coming back."
"I have every intention of trying to make it back here."
"But you don't think it's possible?"
"No, I don't."
Bret's gaze went back to where we had left the others. "It almost destroyed her when she thought you were dead the last time."
"She knows what my leaving means this time." Bret swallowed heavily as he turned back to me. "It's the only way I can give her a chance to live, the only way to give her the life she deserves. It will be a difficult one but she'll at least be alive. It's all I've ever wanted for her."
Bret stared at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. "You're not who I thought you were."
"I've never been who you thought I was."
Bret released a snort of laughter. "Very true."
"We should go," Darnell interjected.
I glanced up at the setting sun and nodded my agreement. Most of the others from the group we had left the tunnels with had moved inside the gated compound, but others, like Arlene, were still wary and remained sleeping outside of the gates at night. Arlene was now standing by the group that had been gathered within the gates to make the journey. Her head tilted toward us as we approached but she didn't speak and the firm set of her mouth told me she still wasn't pleased with our decision.
"Are you sure there is no way they can trace you back to this location?" she inquired.