"I'll keep you safe," he grated.
I nibbled at his full bottom lip as I sought to ease his ire and bring back the passionate man that had just been embracing me. We both knew he would die to keep me safe, just as we both knew there was a chance that we wouldn't survive this; that our time together may be coming to an end. I intended to savor every second we had and hold onto him for as long as I could.
His mouth yielded to my kisses as his tongue swept back in and he deepened the kiss. A low moan escaped me; goose bumps broke out on my skin as his hands slid under my shirt and stroked over my stomach before traveling upward. He caressed me until my muscles were nothing but liquid and I was certain that I was going to fall apart or scream from the sheer wonder of it all.
"Bethany," he groaned as he lifted me up and laid me down on the blankets. I had the strangest sensation of falling apart and coming back together again as his warm body settled over top of mine. I couldn't get enough of touching his supple skin that bunched and flexed beneath my palms as my hands roamed over his body.
His breathing was harsh in my ear as his lips left a trail from my collarbone to my ear. We had never let things get this far before, and yet I felt no apprehension or hesitance as he sat back and pulled my shirt off. I fought the instinctive urge to cover myself from his heated gaze as it raked me from head to toe.
Though, I fought not to let it, heat flared into my cheeks and crept over my body as I looked away from his intense gaze. To me, Cade was nearly perfect with his carved body and stunning face. I was plain in comparison, too thin from lack of food. Scarred and battered from everything that had occurred over the past few months. I knew that he loved me with everything he had; I just didn't want him to see all of my blatant imperfections now that I was bared to him. I felt raw and exposed in a way that I never had before.
He pulled my hand away when I finally gave into my embarrassment and tried to cover myself. "Cade..."
"You're beautiful Bethany." I shook my head and bit my bottom lip as I fought against all of my insecurities. "Simply beautiful."
I shivered as his mouth left a hot trail across my raw skin. I forgot all about my uncertainty as he loved and kissed me into blissful oblivion again and made me come alive in ways that I never knew I could. I couldn't possibly know loss or terror here. Not even when he lost partial control of the darkness inside of him, and his eyes became entirely black once more. I eased the torment within him as I took his darkness into me and allowed him to lose himself completely within my body, as I lost myself in his.
I lay shaken and awed afterward, humbled by the love I sensed within him as he kissed me tenderly and rubbed my skin in tempting swirls that made me sigh with pleasure. He produced one of his knives and looked at me questioningly as he held my wrist before him. My heart raced but I managed a small nod.
He pressed the blade to my skin but didn't draw it across as his hand began to tremble. I wrapped my hand around his. "Bethany..."
"It's ok."
I winced as I pushed the blade into my skin. The muscles in Cade's arms stood out as his body was swamped with black at the sight and smell of my blood. Any rational human being would have tried to move away from him, I moved closer.
I felt no revulsion as his heated mouth wrapped around my wrist and his eyes lifted to mine. My fingers twitched and I couldn't stop myself from stroking the black lines coursing through his face. He drank my blood in deep, gulping pulls that made my heart race while his eyes remained locked on mine.
He pulled away from me and wiped the blood from his mouth. His hand fisted in my hair as he pulled me closer and kissed me with a passion that made my fingers curl into his flesh. I was trying to catch my breath when he pulled away and pressed a tender kiss to my nose.
My muscles quivered as he curled around my back and pulled me snuggly against him. Even beneath all the concrete and earth I felt secure within the arms wrapped around me. I'd never felt so whole, so complete, and so humbled and vulnerable as he whispered that he loved me.
I'd felt the darkness creep out of him, and though I knew he would never do anything to injure me, I'd felt it slip into me and latch onto my soul. It hadn't hurt though, not like it had when Ian had attacked me and forced his blackness into me. It had felt entirely right and complete with Cade. I would have to ask him about why it hadn't hurt with him, but I was too warm and comfortable at the moment, too secure to think about anything other than the wondrous joy suffusing me right now.
I was certain that Cade had taken a piece of my soul but even more disturbing was the realization that I had willingly given it to him. I had just eased all of Cade's hungers but what would happen when mine reawakened. I'd been able to get my hands on raw meat once in awhile up above but down here there may not be any way to do so. A shudder ran through me, my hand tightened around Cade's, I opened my mouth to tell him what was going on within me, to finally unburden myself when he released a small snore.
Chapter 7
Cade's body seemed to fairly vibrate with tension as he stood before me with his arms folded over his chest, his jaw clenched and his eyes hooded as he listened to Arlene. "There is only one way out," Arlene was explaining. "Unless you would like to go back into the tunnel above. About ten miles from here the line splits. You're going to have to go to the right; the left is blocked after a mile. The line used to go above ground again, but that way is also blocked now."
"Then how do we get out?" Lloyd asked.
"There's a ventilation shaft." My heart pounded out a rapid staccato against my ribs as my breath rushed out of me. It was bad enough being down here, but to be trapped within a shaft. Just the thought of being in yet another small, confined space made me break into a cold sweat which was now trickling down my back. "It leads into a manhole. You can access the street from there."
"How do you know this?" Cade inquired.
"We've been up through there. Some people have chosen to move on, and we send out a scouting party once every two weeks for food and supplies. It's taking longer each time to find things."
"Why do you stay here?" I asked.
"Why not? We're safe here; we have shelter, running water and a shower. It's not ideal, but nothing is ideal anymore. Why do you want to go so badly?"
I glanced at the people surrounding me but no one seemed to have an answer other than living beneath the earth wasn't exactly the life that any of us aspired to. However, neither was being sucked dry by one of those monsters either. I couldn't embrace this world of shade, tunnels, walls, and rats. They may have security, no matter how temporary, but they had no freedom, no sunlight and no air. The last thing I wanted to do was stay down here, but I could tell that some of the others would like to.
"We're sending a scouting party out again next week; if you would like we can show you the way then, or you can go today. You are also welcome to stay, we could always use help with gathering supplies and defense. Things some of you appear to be very good at."
Looks were exchanged as muffled conversation filled the air. "Winter is coming," Justin said.
"We'll wait the week and then go up with you," Darnell suggested. "Perhaps we should at least stay for the winter, but we'll have to decide what we want to do together."
Cade's hand slipped into mine. He stepped closer to block me from everyone in the room as I fought to retain control of myself. I took a deep breath as my fingers clenched around his.
"There's no rush," Arlene said.
Cade nudged me toward the doorway. Neither of us was eager to stay in there and listen to what else was being said. He led me down the tunnel and into the smaller hall that housed the separated rooms. "Would you prefer to stay down here?" I whispered when we arrived at our sleeping area.
He took a deep breath as his fingers wrapped around my wrist. His thumb brushed over the mark the knife had left there as he pressed closer to me. Memories of him within me last night, touching my body and soul, came rushing back as I swayed toward him. I was suddenly frantic to h
ave him enshroud and embrace me once more.
"It does seem safer," he said as his hand slid up my arm.
I had to force myself to pay attention to the conversation as his fingers trailed over my cheek. "They'll come here eventually. We can't stay hidden underground forever. Cade..."
"Not forever Bethany, but winter is coming and we have nowhere safe to stay right now."
He was right, I knew he was right, but I couldn't quell the panic rising up in me. "I want to go up with them."
His hand stilled on my cheek; I knew he didn't like the idea of me going, but I couldn't stay here when others were going to crawl to freedom in a week. I shuddered at the reminder that I would have to crawl through a vent, but I had gone through worse things before.
"We'll see..."
"I'm going Cade. I'll be fine," I added when he looked like he was getting ready to argue with me.
"Don't you think you're in enough danger with me around without throwing yourself into even more?"
I was taken aback by the question. "You're not a danger."
He rested his hands on either side of my head as he leaned closer to me. "I know what happened, Bethany. I know what I did. Do you honestly think I wouldn't know that I tasted a part of your soul?"
My heart raced as chills swept up and down my spine. I could barely breathe I was so spellbound and excited. "I'm fine."
His lips almost brushed against mine as he leaned closer to me. "You know what I did and yet you show no fear."
"There is nothing to fear, I wanted you to take a piece of my soul Cade. I offered myself to you and I wanted to know what it felt like."
He frowned severely at me as he moved back a little further. "I could kill you Bethany. I could drain you dry and there is nothing that you could do to stop me."
My hands fisted as I glared up at him. "You haven't hurt me Cade; it was nothing like when Ian had hold of me." I wrapped my arms around myself as I attempted to ease the sudden chill that crept through my bones at the memory.
I was so swamped with my own memories that I didn't notice the wrath that had crept over Cade until I felt the edges of it against my skin. I took an involuntary step back as my gaze landed on him. The veins in his face stood out starkly as they filled with black. It seeped down his neck and disappeared beneath his shirt only to reappear on his arms and the backs of his hands.
"That never should have happened to you. He never should have been able to touch you in such a way."
The snarled words caused the hair on the nape of my neck to stand up. "Cade..."
A gasp escaped me as he clutched my waist and lifted me against him. I barely had time to take a breath before his mouth claimed mine and whatever it was inside of him slipped into me. I arched against him as he filled my cells and seemed to pulsate through my blood. Warmth pooled through me and my toes curled as I felt part of him slither through my muscles and heat every atom it came in contact with. I drifted into him as I lost myself to his possession of me and the pleasure that came with the swirling combination of our souls.
His breathing was ragged as he pulled away and dropped his forehead against mine. "No survival instinct," he groaned.
My fingers drifted over his beloved face as I traced the contours I knew so well. "You didn't hurt me, you wouldn't."
"Bethany..."
"You didn't even take anything from me Cade."
His head shot up. "How do you know that?"
"I felt it when you did last night, here." I pressed his hand against my breast bone and held it near my heart. "I could feel that small bit you took..."
"I didn't mean to," his fingers curled in my hair as his lips brushed over mine.
"I was happy you did. Why doesn't it hurt with you when it did so badly with Ian?"
His muscles tensed at the reminder of Ian. "Because you're so damn willing to let me inside of you," he grated. "You don't fight me."
I shuddered, not from dread but from a burst of pure excitement. I took pleasure in the scent and feel of him as his arms slid possessively around me. "You're so easy to let in," I breathed.
I melted against him as I lost myself to the miracle that was everything about him, even the darkness that lured me forth like a clear pool on a hot summer day.
***
I couldn't see anything when I woke later, it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the little bit of light filling the tunnel. I shifted and reached for Cade but my hand came up empty. Bolting upright, I clutched the blanket against me as I rapidly searched the shadows.
Cade was sitting on his heels by the doorway. If it wasn't for the gleam of his eyes I never would have been able to pinpoint him amongst the gloom. There was something feral about him that caused me to grasp the blanket more firmly against me as he watched me through the shadows.
"Cade?" I was ashamed by the small squeak of my voice.
His mouth parted as he leaned closer to me before quickly moving backward. "I can't," he croaked.
"Can't what?"
His head bowed, his shoulders trembled and though I didn't understand why or how, he seemed to be in pain. "So tempting," he whispered.
Realization hit me like a knockout punch and I almost laughed but the sight of his hunched shoulders froze the sound in my throat. I pushed the blanket aside as I moved toward him. "Then take more. It's fine, I'm fine. You haven't hurt me and I don't feel any different."
"No!" I couldn't stop myself from recoiling as his head snapped toward me and an inhuman snarl curved his mouth. "No more, I can't take anymore from you without taking the chance of hurting you. Stay away!"
I opened my mouth to protest but before I could even inhale to start speaking he shoved aside the blankets, lurched to his feet, and bolted out of the room so fast that I wasn't entirely certain he'd been there to begin with. I sat, speechless and immobile as I gaped at the spot where he'd been.
I grabbed my clothes to follow him but sat back with them crumpled in my lap. Something hadn't been right, his face, his eyes... I knew the death that lurked beneath his surface, but I'd never seen him look like that. For a heart stopping minute I'd been certain that he was going to launch himself at me and drain me of every ounce of blood and soul I possessed.
I hastily threw my clothes on and scrambled from the makeshift shelter. Cade had vanished as I'd already known he would. A sheet at the end of the hall swung slightly back and forth but there was no other movement within the tunnel. Grabbing a flashlight, I cautiously made my way forward but I had no idea which way to go or where to begin looking.
I may not know which way he had gone but I refused to give up as I turned toward the right. He had fed from me but it hadn't been enough, a fact that he'd kept hidden well until tonight when he seemed to have lost all control. I wasn't sure there was anything that I could do to help him, but I couldn't leave him out here all alone. Not when I knew that I could handle him taking more from me.
Chapter 8
"Bethany."
I turned and lifted the flashlight to reveal the tunnel behind me. I'd heard Aiden approaching before he'd spoken but I'd hoped that he would go away. I turned back around and focused on the tunnel before me. When I hadn't found Cade by what I could only assume was morning judging by the single watch hanging in the larger tunnel opening that had been designated as the meeting room, I had volunteered to take over the position Dan had been holding when he'd opened fire on us. The idea of disappearing into the tunnels had actually been appealing for a change as my chest felt as if it were being squeezed by a boa constrictor whenever I thought of Cade.
"Aiden," I greeted as he stopped beside me.
"Are you ok?"
"Fine."
He removed the rifle from his back and placed the butt of it on the ground before him. "Where's Cade?"
His guess was as good as mine but I wasn't about to say that to him. He already didn't trust Cade; a snippy retort wasn't going to help with that. I knew Cade would come back to me, I just didn't know when, and I was sca
red that it may be days if not weeks before he felt he was in control of himself enough to be around me again. The thought made me feel like crying at the same time that I wanted to punch a wall and scream against the unfairness of it all.
I wish he had listened to me before he took off, but what difference would it have made really? I already knew what he was going through, what he was frightened he would do to me. There was no changing what he was. I just wanted to relish in the joy and beauty of everything we had shared, instead I was sitting here wondering when he would return to me.
"Bethany?"
I turned toward my brother and managed a dismissive shrug. "Around."
"Is he coming back?"
I turned away from him again. I didn't know how to answer that but I knew Aiden wouldn't leave me alone unless I gave him some solid answer. "Of course."
"When?"
My jaw clenched as I grappled with the same question. I could lie to myself about when, but I couldn't lie to Aiden. "I'm not sure."
Aiden released a loud sigh and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. In that moment he looked so much like our father that I was rocked by the realization that though both our parents were gone they would always live on in us. I blinked back the tears that filled my eyes as Aiden continued to question me.
"What is going on with him Bethany?"
I swallowed heavily as my mind searched for a possible escape from this line of questioning. "I don't know what you mean."
"Did he kill Ian?"
I felt like I'd been dumped in an icy pond as my mouth dropped. "Why would you ask that?" I managed to choke out.
"Bethany something is not right with him, I can clearly see that."
I forced myself to maintain eye contact as I uttered my next words. "Cade is not a cold blooded killer."
At least it wasn't a lie. Cade may be a killer but he'd done it to save me, he hadn't planned to kill Ian and he hadn't enjoyed it.
"You really believe that?"
"Yes."
"Because you're sleeping with him?"
I didn't think there was anything that could have shocked me more than his question about Ian, but I realized now that I'd been completely wrong. Like a trapped animal, I came back fighting as indignation filled me. "That's none of your business!" I hissed.