I was standing on the shoreline checking my phone to make sure I hadn’t gotten a call. I had to do that every hour, and so far, this morning, I’d been lucky. I loved watching Affton move in that bikini. I could get lost in the way the water glistened on her honey-colored skin and the way her almost white hair tangled in the waves and stuck to her neck. I spent more time checking her out than I did surfing, and I honestly couldn’t remember a better day. There was no way in hell I was fucking up and going back to jail, not when I now knew I could have days like this. Days when I wasn’t drowning. Days I didn’t float away. Affton was more than an anchor. She was gravity. She held me in place. It was hard to live in the past when she had me firmly moored to the present.
I put my fingers in my mouth and let out a loud wolf whistle as she seamlessly slid to her feet on one of the biggest waves we’d seen that day. Without thinking about it, I snapped a picture of her on my phone before I dropped it back with all my stuff on the sand. My mom had called twice, and that goddamn reporter had left four messages. Thinking about any of it was going to ruin the pleasant buzz I was feeling. The first one I’d ever had that didn’t come from shooting, snorting, or smoking something I shouldn’t be putting into my body.
Affton gave a little wave, and I could hear her laughter. It was husky and a little rough. She sounded out of practice, like she didn’t get the chance to laugh very often. I hated that. She should laugh all the time. She deserved a break after the cards she’d been dealt. It wasn’t fair that she was playing someone else’s game and hadn’t had the choice to walk away from the table before losing it all.
“Hey . . . Cable, right?” I jerked when a hand landed on my arm, painted pink fingernails digging into my skin.
I looked down at the brunette I’d picked up the other day when she was lying on the beach behind the house. It was a calculated move, chatting her up and putting the moves on her right after Affton and I verbally tore each other apart. I’d seen her a couple mornings when I was coming and going from the house. There was no doubt in my mind she’d staked out the prime real estate so I would practically trip over her when I came off the deck. She had a body that wouldn’t quit and a face that I imagined made most men stupid. She was a looker and made it clear she was down for whatever I was bringing to the table. It worked for me that she was confident and forward. She was the kind of girl who came for a good time and nothing more. She was perfect . . . except she was the wrong girl.
All wrong.
“Last time I checked.” I didn’t try to hide the irritation in my tone.
I had fooled around with her. Dragged her in the water so I could cool off after my showdown with Affton. I thought a kiss and maybe a little slap and tickle would help the way my blood was boiling, but all it did was leave a sour taste in my mouth and when I saw Affton on the deck watching me watch her, whatever lust and rush I’d been feeling died a quick death. Losing myself in someone who had no interest in knowing where I’d come from or any concern about where I was headed wasn’t going to work. Because of Affton, I understood it had to matter more than that. I was starting to see I was supposed to matter more than that. I didn’t necessarily agree with her, but the part of me that woke up and took notice every time she told me she cared about me sure as hell did.
I squinted behind my glasses as I reached up to pull the girl’s talons out of my skin. Affton was sitting on the board as it bobbed up and down on the water. She had her hand over her eyes for shade, and I knew she was looking directly at me and the beach babe. I purposely took a step to the side as the pretty brunette, clad in a fuchsia bikini that was nothing more than a couple of triangles and dental floss, landed her hand on my shoulder. She used her hold on me to pull herself up on her tip-toes so that she could plant a kiss on my cheek.
Her lips touched my ear, and her very generous breasts pressed into my arm as she whispered, “I’ve been wanting to pick up where we left off the other day. You never gave me your number.”
She would have only been another person I was dodging calls from because I was an asshole. I looked down at her hand and sighed. “Not really interested in what happens next, babe. Sorry.”
I couldn’t remember her name. I thought it was Kelsey, or maybe Chelsea. But then again, it might have been Bailey or Hailey. She didn’t matter enough for me to keep that information on hand, and shockingly, I was uncomfortable with that and what it said about me. While I might not be ready to embrace the whole, ‘Cable deserves better’ spiel Affton had been giving me all summer, I was starting to get on board with the idea that the people around me and those affected by me did. I didn’t want my mom to be sad and worried about me anymore. I didn’t want Affton to look at me like she was afraid of me . . . and afraid for me anymore.
The brunette let her hand fall and bit down on her lower lip. I liked it when Affton did that. I thought it was cute, and it made me want to be the one with that plump flesh between my teeth. I wasn’t a fan when this chick did it. It made her look coquettish and practiced. “Well, that’s a shame. I was sure we were headed somewhere that was very naked and very fun. I’m only in town for another week. Are you sure you want to pass this opportunity by?”
She pushed her chest up and out as she batted her long lashes at me. I’d always been the kind of guy who had things offered up to him on a silver platter. I’d never really had to work for much, and as a result, I’d never earned anything. Everything I ever had was given to me or had been taken without a thought as to whether I was worthy of it. I was sure it was Affton’s influence, but I was wondering what it felt like to have something that I’d worked for, something that I’d earned.
“Yeah, babe. I’m gonna let it pass on by. I’ve learned not to answer the door to every opportunity that knocks.”
She huffed and let her hand fall away. She put her hands on her hips and cocked her weight to one side, which was admittedly a very attractive look on her. She was spouting something about missing the chance of a lifetime and insisting that we would be mind-blowing together. I was only listening with half an ear to her tangent because Affton’s blonde head was no longer bouncing on the surface of the water. The baby-blue board was upside down, the fins sticking up in the air. I yanked off my sunglasses and tossed them on the ground as I instinctively started moving toward the endless sprawl of water.
“Hey, Reed! You okay out there!” I cupped my hands around my mouth and called her name, the girl on the sand next to me forgotten. I started running. The rolling waves crashed into my knees knocked me back a step.
The board continued to bob up and down, but there was still no sign of Affton. She was a strong swimmer, but if she got caught in a current or hit her head on something under the water when she fell, there was a good chance she wouldn’t be able to pull herself up to the surface.
I dove into the water, panic clawing at my throat and fear making my brain tumble with every worst-case scenario imaginable. If something happened to her, it would be all my fault. She was happy up at the house with her college reading list and puttering around talking to Miglena. I was the one who forced fun on her, and if she was hurt by it, that would fall squarely on me. I should’ve known better than to allow the lull of a good day to seduce me. I wasn’t meant for good days. I wasn’t allowed to get close to happy without getting burned by the brightness of it all.
I made short work of closing the distance between me and her board. It was only seconds . . . but it stretched into a lifetime. All those summers spent in the water to avoid my parents were suddenly worth something. I had my hands on the fiberglass and was getting ready to dive underneath it when the entire thing moved and Affton’s pale head popped up on the other side. Her hair was streaming down her face, and she was coughing and sputtering as she swiped at the soaked tendrils hanging in her eyes.
She put her arms on the board so she didn’t have to tread water and lifted her eyebrows at me as a lopsided grin turned her mouth up at the corners. “Got tangled up in the leash and lost w
hich was way up. That was a pretty epic wipe-out. I’m glad you missed it.” She reached behind her head to adjust the top of her bathing suit, and I stopped breathing again. “I think I almost lost my top. That would have been . . .”
I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I thought my heart rate would slow back to normal once I knew she was okay. I thought my stomach would slide back into place. I thought my brain would quit somersaulting. I thought I would be able to breathe . . . but I couldn’t. All I could do was reach for her. I needed to touch her, to feel her, to absorb her heat, to warm up everything inside of me that went icy when I thought the worst had happened. I needed her close so that I could prove to myself she was real and none of this was a dream.
I grabbed her by the upper arms and pulled her across the board. Her wet skin slipped easily over the surface, and she hit my chest with an oomph. Her arms automatically went around my neck and her legs brushed against mine as she scrambled to touch the sand under the water. I could touch, was standing solidly, but if I set her down, the water would be over her head, so she stopped struggling after a second and let me hold her even when one of my hands landed directly on her ass and the other one tangled in the ends of her messy hair. I used my hold to pull her head back, and before I could think about what I was doing, dropped my mouth over hers, swallowing her gasp of surprise and tasting her shock.
It was the best kiss I’d ever had.
It was wet and wild.
It was so hot I could hardly stand it.
She tasted sweet and made the sexiest little sound of amazement and wonder low in her throat.
Her fingers dug into my shoulders, and her legs shifted restlessly against mine under the water. Through the thin fabric of her bathing suit, I felt her nipples pull tight and harden against my chest.
I was capturing a fantasy, creating a memory I could hold onto later. Holding something that shouldn’t be real, shouldn’t exist in my hands. She pressed closer and followed my lead as I kissed her deeper and dragged her under.
It was the worst kiss I’d ever had.
It was too fast and slightly furious.
It scared her, I could feel it. I scared her. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop myself.
I was used to taking, and she wasn’t used to giving. So there was a moment when there was no question I was devouring her, swallowing her up in everything I felt, and I was leaving none of the amazing things she was untouched. She was meant to be savored and appreciated.
Our teeth clicked together. Our tongues clashed for control and both of us were holding on too tight.
It was obvious neither one of us excelled at kissing: her from lack of practice, me from lack of interest. After a moment, when my heart stopped hammering and her’s started racing, we managed to figure it out.
It was still desperate. It was still frantic and a little bit unhinged. It was greedy and hungry because there would never be enough of my mouth on hers or hers on mine. I hadn’t had a drink or a hit in almost a month, but I felt drunk on her taste. Loopy on the way everything about her went to my head and made my body feel too heavy and languid.
She always seemed to be the best and worst of everything.
The thin material of her suit was nice. The velvety softness of her skin was even nicer. I didn’t think about pushing her, or if I was rushing things, I simply acted on instinct. She was okay. She was right in front of me, and she wasn’t going anywhere, at least not anytime soon, and she was reacting to me. She always did. I couldn’t get enough of it. Of her.
I slid my hand under the elastic waistband of her bottoms and grabbed a handful of softly rounded flesh. She made a noise that could have been complaint, but I decided to ignore it when she hooked one of her legs around my hips under the water and pressed her hips closer to mine. The water made her bob up and down, rubbing my cock along that secret, sensitive notch between her legs. The wet friction made me groan and had my teeth nipping down on the lush curve of her lower lip. I was sure the top of my head was going to come off. I hadn’t had my dick inside a girl in a long time. Too long if I was ready to lose it just from rubbing up against her and from nothing more than a handful of ass. The truth was, I’d never had my dick anywhere near a girl who was like Affton and everything about her was so potent. She wasn’t watered down or cut with any kind of filler. She was all honest response and heated reaction, and that was more of a turn on than being buried inside something easy and temporary had ever been.
I tugged on her hair again and groaned against her lips. I wanted to peel her top off and put my mouth on those stiff points poking into my chest. I wanted to strip her bottoms off and grind against her. I wanted to drag my throbbing cock through the heat I could feel burning between her legs. I wanted to watch her come and watch her crash. I wanted to plant myself so deeply inside of her that it would take a herculean effort for her to ever get me out. I wanted to be her first, and I refused to think about anyone who might be her last. That rule about sleeping with virgins was bullshit. Nothing more than useless words I used to wound and push her away.
I lied.
Thank God she already knew I was a liar.
I pulled my mouth off hers and watched as her foggy gaze struggled to clear. I lowered my head again to press my lips to the soft swell of her cheek. I pulled my hand off her backside and lifted it so I could smooth some of her hair out of her face. She was blinking rapidly and looking at me like she had never seen me before. Her lips were ruby red and swollen from the bite of mine. She could no longer pass as the innocent, untouched girl next door. Now she was the girl next door who had been felt up and fondled by the town fuck-up. She looked rumpled and ruffled. She looked wide-eyed and wild.
It was a good look on her.
“You scared the shit out of me, Reed.” I moved my hands to either side of her face and dropped a quick kiss on her nose. “That was the opposite of fun.”
She rested her hands on my shoulders, and I pulled us closer to the shore until she could touch the bottom. I felt her reluctance when she uncurled her body from mine, and we both sighed as she freed the tether around her ankle and found her own footing so she could move away from me.
“I didn’t think you were even paying attention. You seemed pretty preoccupied.” She didn’t sound mad about the beach babe, just resigned.
“She was a distraction. They all are.” I grabbed the board for her as we made our way to the shore. I stuck it in the sand next to mine as she wrapped herself up in a colorful towel and wrung out her hair.
“Well, I’m glad you weren’t distracted for very long. That was kind of scary for a minute. It’s good to know you were paying enough attention to me that you would have been able to save me if I needed it.”
I shook my head at her. “I can’t even save myself, Affton.”
She pushed her hair back behind her ears and wiggled into her cutoffs making all my favorite parts of her body bounce and jiggle deliciously. “Well, you can try because as much as you want to deny it, you are trying, Cable. You didn’t know if I was okay or not so you tried to help. Succeed or fail, you did try.”
She nodded at my phone which was ringing from somewhere inside my own towel. “You should answer that. I’ll be up at the house. I’ll make us some lunch, and then we can tackle that studying.”
She didn’t say anything about that kiss, and I couldn’t decide if I was grateful or irritated. One thing was for sure, nothing was going to be the same going forward. Everyone else had been a distraction, but Affton Reed, she was a destination. She was the place I wanted to go and maybe, just maybe, she was the place where I wanted to stay. She was the place I was going to have to work my ass off to reach.
I wanted to earn the right to have my hands and mouth on whatever part of her I wanted, because there was no way, now that I had had a taste, that I could ever walk away without savoring the entire thing.
Affton
I HUNG UP the phone after assuring Melanie McCaffrey, for what felt li
ke the thousandth time this summer, that Cable was doing all right. I could tell in her voice that she was hoping his visits with Doc Howard and his time spent surfing and sobering up would bring him around so that he would finally accept one of her calls. She let him go, and now she wanted him back. She missed him, and I was the only link she had to her son. I didn’t mind passing on updates, but when she started to pry, started to prod about anything beyond his progress and sobriety, I shut her down. Partly because I was still pissed that she twisted my arm to get me here, and I was petty enough to enjoy frustrating her, but mostly because it felt like I would be betraying the tenuous trust Cable had given me if I filled her in on how tangled his thoughts and actions were. She also didn’t need to know he was doing a bang-up job of making me just as twisted up and confused as he always was.
“So, what’s going on between the two of you?”
I gave Jordan a narrow-eyed look as she continued to lick her ice cream cone like she hadn’t just shown up out of the blue, unannounced and unexpected. Instead of an explanation, she wanted to know why Cable and I were dancing around each other. She wanted to know why we each acted like the other was about to explode.
“You don’t seem nearly as disgusted by him, or the situation, as you were when you left Loveless.”
A group of teens around our age came pouring through the door of the hot pink building. It was hot out, and Jordan’s inquiry was making me even warmer. I couldn’t answer her question because I had no clue what was going on with me and Cable. We’d settled into an unsteady kind of truce. I went surfing with him in the morning, and he tried his best to study with me in the afternoon if he didn’t have to meet with the doc or go in for a test. He had the attention span of a house fly so getting any kind of information to stick was work, but he was smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for. We didn’t talk about that kiss. Not at all. Not ever.