He had a way of melting my heart with his words. Sometimes it was still hard to believe such sensitive and tender things could come out of his mouth. I swept his hair out of his face and stared into his soulful blue eyes. “There’s nothing I want more than to be with you. Always.”
We had just started kissing again when a knock came at the door. “Annabel? Are you in there?” Alexandra asked.
“Um, yeah.”
“We really need the rice.”
“One sec!”
Quickly, Rev and I went about getting dressed and smoothing down our mussed hair. When Rev opened the door and I thrust the box of rice at Alexandra, her eyes widened, and she appeared flustered. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
She took the rice and backed slowly away from me. “No, I’m sorry to have interrupted.”
I quickly ushered Rev out of the pantry and closed the door. After taking in Rev’s and my guilty faces, Kim busted out laughing. “Were you two just fucking in the pantry?”
Rev and I were both so mortified we couldn’t reply. Kim patted my back. “Oh, honey, just about every one of us has fucked in there at least once before. Most of the time, we didn’t even have the excuse of being on lockdown.” She jerked her chin at Alexandra. “I even got an eyeful of Deacon’s bare ass when he had her up against the racks.”
“Kim!” Alexandra hissed, her face turning crimson.
“What?” With a wink at me, she added, “It’s a mighty fine ass, too. Maybe I should get a look at Rev’s to compare.”
It was then that the absolute absurdity of the moment overcame me, and I burst out laughing. I found that I couldn’t stop, and I ended up bent over, with tears streaming down my cheeks. When I finally recovered, everyone else had joined in laughing with me.
After wiping my eyes, I wagged a finger at Kim. “Sorry to disappoint you, but no one but me gets to see Rev’s ass.”
Rev’s eyes flashed with pleasure at my comment, while Kim only grinned. “I get it, sister. You’ve staked your claim. I’ll just have to settle for flashbacks of Deacon I guess until I get a peek at Bishop’s.”
While slowly stirring rice in a giant boiler, Alexandra said, “I’ll be the first to admit that Deacon has a very nice ass.” She threw a wicked glance at us over her shoulder. “Very firm when you grab or spank it, not to mention being very lickable.”
Rev groaned. “Do you mind? The last thing I want to hear is a description of my brother’s ass.”
While Kim and I laughed, Alexandra grimaced. The stirring spoon in her hand fell to the floor as she clutched her stomach. At her whimper, Kim, Rev, and I rushed forward.
“What’s wrong?” Kim demanded.
“I . . . I think my labor might be starting,” Alexandra replied in a hoarse whisper.
“But you’re not due for another three weeks,” Rev argued.
“Have you been having any back pain?” I asked.
Alexandra nodded. “A little. Not a whole lot more than usual.”
Kim’s eyes looked concerned as she asked, “Any blood?”
“Maybe a little in my underwear this morning.”
“Oh shit, you had your bloody show,” Kim replied.
“My what?” Alexandra questioned.
“It means you’re in labor. Hell, you’ve been in labor. God only knows how far you’re dilated.” Kim grabbed hold of Rev’s shoulder. “Go call Breakneck. Tell him to get his ass here ASAP.” She then turned to me. “Go find Deacon.”
When Alexandra cried out in pain again, I knew we were in trouble. Her contractions were coming pretty quickly. Although my scientific knowledge of birth was limited to animals, I knew from a few early anatomy courses that labor could take days or mere hours.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed,” Kim instructed.
Once she recovered from the pain, Alexandra shook her head. “I need to get to the hospital.”
“Besides the fact you’re progressing way too fast, we’re on lockdown, sweetheart. You’re having this baby here.”
Alexandra’s dark eyes widened. “I want Deacon. Now.”
With a nod, I turned and fled the kitchen to find him. I had no idea where on the compound he might be. After glancing around the main room, I didn’t see him. At the back door, Archer was standing guard with Crazy Ace. “You guys seen Deacon?”
“Down at the warehouse.”
When I started past them out the door, Crazy Ace grabbed my arm. “Where the hell do you think you’re going? No women are allowed outside, least of all you.”
“I have to get Deacon,” I protested.
“We’ll get him. You wait here,” Crazy Ace replied.
“You better run like hell for him. Alexandra is in labor.”
Archer’s mouth gaped open. “Holy shit.” He glanced at Crazy Ace. “I’m faster. I’ll go get him.”
Crazy Ace nodded, and then Archer tore out the back door. The entire main room went silent as a tomb when Kim led a hysterical Alexandra out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bedrooms. Just when the conversation started up again, Deacon blew through the door.
He and I then raced across the main room and down the hall to his and Alexandra’s roadhouse bedroom. When he threw open the door, we found Alexandra stretched out on the bed, weeping uncontrollably, while Kim stood by, helplessly wringing her hands.
Deacon went to Alexandra’s side. “Babe, I’m here. It’s all right.” He took her hand in his and squeezed it.
Alexandra stared up at him. “I don’t want to do this here. We need to go to the hospital.”
Deacon’s expression grew grim. “We can’t. It’s not safe.”
“But it’s not safe to have this baby here. I need my doctor and nurses.”
“Breakneck will be here. He’s delivered lots of babies.”
“Please, Deacon. Don’t make me do this here.”
“Babe, I’m sorry, but we just can’t risk it. We’re already taking a huge risk getting Breakneck here,” Deacon argued.
Another contraction had Alexandra contorting her body in agony. When she recovered, tears streamed down her face, but she managed to shout, “I hate you!”
“Alex, please.”
She shook her head wildly back and forth. “You promised me that the club was going to go legit. You promised me that Willow and I and the baby would be safe. If anything happens to my son, I’ll never forgive you!”
Tears welled in Deacon’s eyes. “I’m sorry. Jesus, I’m so sorry.”
“Get out! Get out of my sight, you lying bastard!” When Deacon reached for her hand to try to calm her, she slung him away. “I said get out!” she screamed, then broke down into hysterical sobs, which were so hard they shook the bed.
With an expression of defeated agony, Deacon fled from the room, the door slamming behind him. Kim and I exchanged a look of horror, at a loss as to what we should do next. Although my experience was completely limited to animals, I knew it wasn’t good for Alexandra to be so emotional.
I went to her side and took her hand. “Alex, look at me.”
It took her a few moments to calm down enough to stare into my eyes. I held her gaze, stroking her forehead with my other hand. “It’s going to be all right. You’re going to be all right, and the baby is going to be all right.”
At my words and touch, her entire body seemed to relax. She sighed deeply and squeezed my hand. “Thank you, Annabel.”
Breakneck burst into the room, followed by Rev. The good doctor had his standard black medical bag, along with a rolling suitcase. I guessed he had raided the maternity ward at the hospital for all the necessary supplies.
He then went to work, assessing Alexandra and barking orders to Kim and me.
Breakneck handed me a basin. “Go fill this with boiling water. Tell the women to keep a pot constantly boiling.”
With a nod of my head, I hurried out of the room. When I got outside, I almost tripped over Deacon, who was sitting with his back against the wall.
He raised his haunted
eyes to mine. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. Breakneck is with her, and things are progressing as they should.”
Deacon nodded and then hung his head. I knelt down beside him and took his hand. “She isn’t going to stay mad at you, Deacon. Pain does things to you, makes you say and do things you don’t mean.”
“If something happens to her or the baby because of me, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”
“Listen to me. Alexandra is young and strong. She’s had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. She will be fine.” I rose to my feet. “I have to go get the water.”
Without another word to him, I sprinted to the kitchen. Thankfully, Boone’s wife, Mary, had had the presence of mind to have a pot of water already heated up.
When I returned with the boiling water, Rev was seated beside Deacon, his arm slung over his brother’s shoulder. I gave him a fleeting smile and then hurried back into the room. Mama Beth had replaced Kim at the bedside. She sat on the edge of the bed, holding Alexandra’s hand and keeping her as calm as she could.
Everything seemed to start happening at a whirlwind pace. I tried to help Breakneck when he asked me, but I felt completely and totally clueless. Some moments felt like the hands on the clock were spinning out of control and others seemed to drag by.
“And there’s the head. You need to keep pushing now.” A beaming smile lit up Breakneck’s face. “He’s got a head full of gorgeous hair.”
“He does?” Alexandra asked.
“Yes, dark hair just like you and Deacon.”
At the mention of Deacon’s name, Alexandra’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Deacon,” she murmured, then turned to me. “Please get him for me! He didn’t get to be there when Willow was born, and I don’t want him to miss seeing his son come into the world.”
I spun on my feet and dashed to the door. As I flung it open, I prayed that Deacon was still just outside and hadn’t gone to do something stupid like get drunk. My heart leapt at the sight of him still sitting beside Rev with his head buried in his hands. “Deacon, come quick. Alexandra is asking for you.”
I had never seen anyone move so fast. He was on his feet in a flash and by my side. He didn’t wait for me. Instead, he barreled on inside and went to Alexandra’s side. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he murmured over and over again as he bestowed tender kisses all over her face.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I’ll give Rev my cut right now if you want me to leave the club.”
My head spun over to the doorway where Rev stood in open-mouthed disbelief at his brother’s suggestion. We then both looked back to the bed to await Alexandra’s response.
She gazed up at Deacon. “How could I ask you to do that? This club is your life.”
“You and our children mean more to me than anything in the world,” he replied.
“Let’s just leave things as they are for right now. How’s that?”
Deacon brought his mouth to Alexandra’s and kissed her passionately. “God, do I love you.”
“I love you, too. But I need to push now.”
He immediately stood upright. “Okay. What do I need to do?”
She laughed at his bewildered expression. “Just hold my hand and talk to me when the pain gets bad.”
“I can do that.”
Now that Deacon was taking care of Alexandra, I went over to Rev, who still stood in the doorway. I wasn’t sure if we should stay in or go, but when Alexandra met my gaze, she said, “Stay.”
“If you’re sure.”
“You’ve already seen the worst part. Might as well see the best. Besides, it makes sense for his godparents to be in the room.”
Together, Rev and I smiled at her. It was an honor to be a part of seeing life come into the world. It was a double honor to be named the baby’s godparents. So Rev closed the door behind him.
When things got dicey for Alexandra with the pain, Rev would squeeze my hand. I knew in some ways he could imagine me being in that much pain, which would kill him. Deacon certainly wasn’t faring well at seeing Alexandra hurting.
The mood in the air shifted, and with a hearty cry, Deacon and Alexandra’s son came into the world. After cleaning his lungs and cutting him free from Alexandra, Breakneck held the wailing baby out to me. I momentarily froze.
“Annabel, aftercare for infants isn’t terribly different from aftercare for animals. Prepare the baby for Alexandra to hold.” At his encouraging look, I grabbed a waiting blanket and took the baby into my arms.
“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart,” I murmured to him as I wrapped him up.
As Breakneck dealt with the afterbirth and made sure Alexandra was okay, I took the baby over to the tub of warm water and began to gently clean him. At the contact with the water, his cries grew louder, and Deacon came to my side. With a smile, I glanced at him over my shoulder. “I promise I’m not hurting him.”
“That’s not what I thought at all,” Deacon replied, but I could tell his fatherly instincts to protect his son were kicking into overdrive.
Once the baby had been washed and dried, I took a fresh blanket and wrapped him snugly in it. When I turned around, Deacon was staring expectantly at me. “Ready to meet your son?”
“Hell yeah,” he replied with a smile.
I passed the baby over to his waiting arms. Then Deacon did something I would never have imagined. Cradling his son to his chest, he broke down into quiet sobs. When I glanced from Deacon to Rev, I saw the same expression of disbelief on Rev’s face that I was sure I had on my own.
Deacon quickly recovered and dragged his free arm across his wet eyes. “Look at you, little man,” he murmured.
“Does he have a name?” I asked.
After glancing at Alexandra, who nodded, Deacon smiled. “It’s Wyatt David Malloy.”
“Nice choice,” Rev replied.
Deacon went over to Rev. “He’s handsome, isn’t he?”
Rev grinned. “Very handsome. Although I think he’s going to favor his mother.”
With a slight frown, Deacon eyeballed his son. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Don’t sound so sad about it,” Alexandra joked.
“He should be honored to take after his mother, as good-looking as she is,” Deacon said, and then he winked at Alexandra.
“Well, everything looks good. I think it’s time this mother got to hold her baby,” Breakneck said.
As Deacon started to take Wyatt over to Alexandra, Rev leaned down to place a tiny kiss on the top of Wyatt’s head. The simple gesture was my undoing. All the emotions of the day converged in me at that moment. I knew I had to get out of that room.
Without a word to Rev or the others, I hurried to the door. I don’t know how he made it so fast, but he was at my side before I got it open. Taking me by the hand, Rev led me into our bedroom. Thankfully, it was empty. He went to the bed and lay down, pulling me down beside him. “I know that had to be hell for you, so cry all you want to.”
But the tears didn’t come. Instead, I looked at the amazing man before me in disbelief. “I’m such a selfish asshole.”
Apparently Rev hadn’t been prepared for my response because he burst out laughing. “No, you’re not,” he replied.
“Yes, I am. This is such a happy day for you, not to mention we’re in the middle of lockdown because of Mendoza.” I shook my head. “You’re too good to me. In fact, you shouldn’t marry me.”
“Just because you think you’re a selfish asshole?” he asked almost teasingly.
“No. It’s just . . . the way you kissed Wyatt’s head . . . the way you are with Willow.” I exhaled an agonized sigh. “I can’t give you the children you want . . . the children you deserve.”
“We don’t know what the future holds.”
I shook my head. “I can’t have a baby, and we can’t adopt. No judge would give us a child with your background.”
“Hmm, so I guess we’re both a little to blame?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I protested.
Rev wrapped his arms tighter around me. “Annabel, none of us know what tomorrow holds. But I do know that we’ll have a child one day.” When I started to argue, he said, “I’ve done a lot of reading on surrogacy, and I’ve talked to some of the girls in the club. When the time comes, we’ll have a baby. You have to believe that.”
I jerked my head off his chest to stare into his eyes. The conviction in them gave me hope. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was already thinking ahead for us—that was just his way—but his confidence gave me hope.
Just like we would weather the Mendoza storm together, we would make it through building a future and a family together as well. Somehow, some way. I just had to have faith.
TWENTY-ONE
Mendoza was close. So very, very close. Roja would soon get what was coming to her. As his car crossed the state line into Georgia, the ever-present mix of rage and desperation surging through him reached a volatile new level. The one thing that had pushed him through the bullshit of the last few months was revenge. Revenge against the man who had taken Roja. Revenge against Roja for daring to leave him.
The months had melted into a blur of false leads and dead-end roads. He’d called in favors to gain information, and he’d had to end the lives of a few less-than-cooperative people as well. He had poured more money into this quest than what he had anticipated—some of the money he had owed to Rodriguez and the cartel. At the time he hadn’t given a fuck about the cost.
But in the last two days he had gotten wind of a plan that caused his desire for revenge to escalate further than he had ever imagined.
This Hells Raiders biker—this chingada madre—had not only dared to infiltrate his compound, but had cut him off at the knees by having him alienated from his cartel brothers. Who the fuck did he think he was to approach Rodriguez for protection for his club, for himself, and, most important, for Roja? And who the fuck did Rodriguez think he was to betray one of his lieutenants for gringo biker scum?
Oh yes, the cocksucker would pay. He would pay with his life and with Roja’s, but only after he had been tortured to where he would pray for death. And Roja would watch every blow until the time came for her to suffer her own dose of justice.