LETTER XII
THE SAME TO THE SAME
Tam Luter was their minstrel meet, Gude Lord as he could lance, He play'd sae shrill, and sang sae sweet, Till Towsie took a trance. Auld Lightfoot there he did forleet, And counterfeited France; He used himself as man discreet, And up took Morrice danse sae loud, At Christ's Kirk on the Green that day. KING JAMES I.
I continue to scribble at length, though the subject may seem somewhatdeficient in interest. Let the grace of the narrative, therefore,and the concern we take in each other's matters, make amends for itstenuity. We fools of fancy who suffer ourselves, like Malvolio, to becheated with our own visions, have, nevertheless, this advantage overthe wise ones of the earth, that we have our whole stock of enjoymentsunder our own command, and can dish for ourselves an intellectualbanquet with most moderate assistance from external objects. It is,to be sure, something like the feast which the Barmecide served up toAlnaschar; and we cannot expect to get fat upon such diet. But then,neither is there repletion nor nausea, which often succeed the grosserand more material revel. On the whole, I still pray, with the Ode toCastle Building--
Give me thy hope which sickens not the heart; Give me thy wealth which has no wings to fly; Give me the bliss thy visions can impart: Thy friendship give me, warm in poverty!
And so, despite thy solemn smile and sapient shake of the head, I willgo on picking such interest as I can out of my trivial adventures, eventhough that interest should be the creation of my own fancy; nor will Icease to indict on thy devoted eyes the labour of perusing the scrollsin which I shall record my narrative.
My last broke off as we were on the point of descending into the glenat Brokenburn, by the dangerous track which I had first travelled ENCROUPE, behind a furious horseman, and was now again to brave under theprecarious guidance of a blind man.
It was now getting dark; but this was no inconvenience to my guide, whomoved on, as formerly, with instinctive security of step, so that wesoon reached the bottom, and I could see lights twinkling in the cottagewhich had been my place of refuge on a former occasion. It was notthither, however, that our course was directed. We left the habitationof the laird to the left, and turning down the brook, soon approachedthe small hamlet which had been erected at the mouth of the stream,probably on account of the convenience which it afforded as a harbourto the fishing-boats. A large, low cottage, full in our front, seemedhighly illuminated; for the light not only glanced from every windowand aperture in its frail walls, but was even visible from rents andfractures in the roof, composed of tarred shingles, repaired in part bythatch and divot.
While these appearances engaged my attention, that of my companion wasattracted by a regular succession of sounds, like a bouncing on thefloor, mixed with a very faint noise of music, which Willie's acuteorgans at once recognized and accounted for, while to me it was almostinaudible. The old man struck the earth with his staff in a violentpassion. 'The whoreson fisher rabble! They have brought another violerupon my walk! They are such smuggling blackguards, that they must runin their very music; but I'll sort them waur than ony gauger in thecountry.--Stay--hark--it 's no a fiddle neither--it's the pipe and taborbastard, Simon of Sowport, frae the Nicol Forest; but I'll pipe andtabor him!--Let me hae ance my left hand on his cravat, and ye shall seewhat my right will do. Come away, chap--come away, gentle chap--nae timeto be picking and waling your steps.' And on he passed with long anddetermined strides, dragging me along with him.
I was not quite easy in his company; for, now that his minstrel pridewas hurt, the man had changed from the quiet, decorous, I might almostsay respectable person, which he seemed while he told his tale, into theappearance of a fierce, brawling, dissolute stroller. So that when heentered the large hut, where a great number of fishers, with their wivesand daughters, were engaged in eating, drinking, and dancing, I wassomewhat afraid that the impatient violence of my companion mightprocure us an indifferent reception.
But the universal shout of welcome with which Wandering Willie wasreceived--the hearty congratulations--the repeated 'Here's t' ye,Willie!'--'Where hae ya been, ye blind deevil?' and the call upon himto pledge them--above all, the speed with which the obnoxious pipe andtabor were put to silence, gave the old man such effectual assurance ofundiminished popularity and importance, as at once put his jealousy torest, and changed his tone of offended dignity into one better fittedto receive such cordial greetings. Young men and women crowded round, totell how much they were afraid some mischance had detained him, and howtwo or three young fellows had set out in quest of him.
'It was nae mischance, praised be Heaven,' said Willie, 'but the absenceof the lazy loon Rob the Rambler, my comrade, that didna come to meetme on the Links; but I hae gotten a braw consort in his stead, worth adozen of him, the unhanged blackguard.'
'And wha is't tou's gotten, Wullie, lad?' said half a score of voices,while all eyes were turned on your humble servant, who kept the bestcountenance he could, though not quite easy at becoming the centre towhich all eyes were pointed.
'I ken him by his hemmed cravat,' said one fellow; 'it's Gil Hobson, thesouple tailor frae Burgh. Ye are welcome to Scotland, ye prick-the-cloutloon,' he said, thrusting forth a paw; much the colour of a badger'sback, and of most portentous dimensions.
'Gil Hobson? Gil whoreson!' exclaimed Wandering Willie; 'it's a gentlechap that I judge to be an apprentice wi' auld Joshua Geddes, to thequaker-trade.'
'What trade be's that, man?' said he of the badger-coloured fist.
'Canting and lying,'--said Willie, which produced a thundering laugh;'but I am teaching the callant a better trade, and that is, feasting andfiddling.'
Willie's conduct in thus announcing something like my real character,was contrary to compact; and yet I was rather glad he did so, for theconsequence of putting a trick upon these rude and ferocious men, might,in case of discovery, have been dangerous to us both, and I was at thesame time delivered from the painful effort to support a fictitiouscharacter. The good company, except perhaps one or two of the youngwomen whose looks expressed some desire for better acquaintance, gavethemselves no further trouble about me; but, while the seniors resumedtheir places near an immense bowl or rather reeking cauldron ofbrandy-punch, the younger arranged themselves on the floor and calledloudly on Willie to strike up.
With a brief caution to me, to 'mind my credit, for fishers have ears,though fish have none,' Willie led off in capital style, and I followed,certainly not so as to disgrace my companion, who, every now and then,gave me a nod of approbation. The dances were, of course, the Scottishjigs, and reels, and 'twasome dances', with a strathspey or hornpipe forinterlude; and the want of grace on the part of the performers was amplysupplied by truth of ear, vigour and decision of step, and the agilityproper to the northern performers. My own spirits rose with the mirtharound me, and with old Willie's admirable execution, and frequent 'weeldune, gentle chap, yet;'--and, to confess the truth, I felt a great dealmore pleasure in this rustic revel, than I have done at the more formalballs and concerts in your famed city, to which I have sometimes made myway. Perhaps this was because I was a person of more importance to thepresiding matron of Brokenburn-foot, than I had the means of renderingmyself to the far-famed Miss Nickie Murray, the patroness of yourEdinburgh assemblies. The person I mean was a buxom dame of aboutthirty, her fingers loaded with many a silver ring, and three or fourof gold; her ankles liberally displayed from under her numerous blue,white, and scarlet; short petticoats, and attired in hose of the finestand whitest lamb's-wool, which arose from shoes of Spanish cordwain,fastened with silver buckles. She took the lead in my favour, anddeclared, 'that the brave young gentleman should not weary himself todeath wi' playing, but take the floor for a dance or twa.'
'And what's to come of me, Dame Martin?' said Willie.
'Come o' thee?' said the dame; 'mishanter on the auld beard o' ye! yecould play for twenty hours on end, and tire out the haill countrysidewi' dan
cing before ye laid down your bow, saving for a by-drink or thelike o' that.'
'In troth, dame,' answered Willie, 'ye are no sae far wrang; sae if mycomrade is to take his dance, ye maun gie me my drink, and then bob itaway like Madge of Middlebie.'
The drink was soon brought; but while Willie was partaking of it,a party entered the hut, which arrested my attention at once, andintercepted the intended gallantry with which I had proposed to presentmy hand to the fresh-coloured, well-made, white-ankled Thetis, who hadobtained me manumission from my musical task.
This was nothing less than the sudden appearance of the old woman whomthe laird had termed Mabel; Cristal Nixon, his male attendant; and theyoung person who had said grace to us when I supped with him.
This young person--Alan, thou art in thy way a bit of a conjurer--thisyoung person whom I DID NOT describe, and whom you, for that veryreason, suspected was not an indifferent object to me--is, I am sorry tosay it, in very fact not so much so as in prudence she ought. I will notuse the name of love on this occasion; for I have applied it too oftento transient whims and fancies to escape your satire, should I ventureto apply it now. For it is a phrase, I must confess, which I haveused--a romancer would say, profaned--a little too often, consideringhow few years have passed over my head. But seriously, the fair chaplainof Brokenburn has been often in my head when she had no businessthere; and if this can give thee any clue for explaining my motivesin lingering about the country, and assuming the character of Willie'scompanion, why, hang thee, thou art welcome to make use of it--apermission for which thou need'st not thank me much, as thou wouldst nothave failed to assume it whether it were given or no.
Such being my feelings, conceive how they must have been excited, when,like a beam upon a cloud, I saw this uncommonly beautiful girl enter theapartment in which they were dancing; not, however, with the air ofan equal, but that of a superior, come to grace with her presence thefestival of her dependants. The old man and woman attended, with looksas sinister as hers were lovely, like two of the worst winter monthswaiting upon the bright-eyed May.
When she entered--wonder if thou wilt--she wore A GREEN MANTLE, such asthou hast described as the garb of thy fair client, and confirmed whatI had partly guessed from thy personal description, that my chaplain andthy visitor were the same person. There was an alteration on herbrow the instant she recognized me. She gave her cloak to her femaleattendant, and, after a momentary hesitation, as if uncertain whether toadvance or retire, she walked into the room with dignity andcomposure, all making way, the men unbonneting, and the women curtsyingrespectfully, as she assumed a chair which was reverently placed for heraccommodation, apart from others.
There was then a pause, until the bustling mistress of the ceremonies,with awkward but kindly courtesy, offered the young lady a glass ofwine, which was at first declined, and at length only thus far accepted,that, bowing round to the festive company, the fair visitor wished themall health and mirth, and just touching the brim with her lip, replacedit on the salver. There was another pause; and I did not immediatelyrecollect, confused as I was by this unexpected apparition, that itbelonged to me to break it. At length a murmur was heard around me,being expected to exhibit,--nay, to lead down the dance,--in consequenceof the previous conversation.
'Deil's in the fiddler lad,' was muttered from more quarters thanone--'saw folk ever sic a thing as a shame-faced fiddler before?'
At length a venerable Triton, seconding his remonstrances with a heartythump on my shoulder, cried out, 'To the floor--to the floor, and let ussee how ye can fling--the lasses are a' waiting.'
Up I jumped, sprang from the elevated station which constituted ourorchestra, and, arranging my ideas as rapidly as I could, advancedto the head of the room, and, instead of offering my hand to thewhite-footed Thetis aforesaid, I venturously made the same proposal toher of the Green Mantle.
The nymph's lovely eyes seemed to open with astonishment at theaudacity of this offer; and, from the murmurs I heard around me, I alsounderstood that it surprised, and perhaps offended, the bystanders. Butafter the first moment's emotion, she wreathed her neck, and drawingherself haughtily up, like one who was willing to show that she wassensible of the full extent of her own condescension, extended her handtowards me, like a princess gracing a squire of low degree.
There is affectation in all this, thought I to myself, if the GreenMantle has borne true evidence--for young ladies do not make visits, orwrite letters to counsel learned in the law, to interfere in the motionsof those whom they hold as cheap as this nymph seems to do me; and ifI am cheated by a resemblance of cloaks, still I am interested to showmyself, in some degree, worthy of the favour she has granted with somuch state and reserve. The dance to be performed was the old Scots Jig,in which you are aware I used to play no sorry figure at La Pique's,when thy clumsy movements used to be rebuked by raps over the knuckleswith that great professor's fiddlestick. The choice of the tune was leftto my comrade Willie, who, having finished his drink, feloniously struckup the well-known and popular measure,
Merrily danced the Quaker's wife, And merrily danced the Quaker.
An astounding laugh arose at my expense, and I should have beenannihilated, but that the smile which mantled on the lip of my partner,had a different expression from that of ridicule, and seemed to say,'Do not take this to heart.' And I did not, Alan--my partner dancedadmirably, and I like one who was determined, if outshone, which I couldnot help, not to be altogether thrown into the shade.
I assure you our performance, as well as Willie's music, deservedmore polished spectators and auditors; but we could not then have beengreeted with such enthusiastic shouts of applause as attended while Ihanded my partner to her seat, and took my place by her side, as one whohad a right to offer the attentions usual on such an occasion. She wasvisibly embarrassed, but I was determined not to observe her confusion,and to avail myself of the opportunity of learning whether thisbeautiful creature's mind was worthy of the casket in which nature hadlodged it.
Nevertheless, however courageously I formed this resolution, you cannotbut too well guess the difficulties I must needs have felt in carryingit into execution; since want of habitual intercourse with the charmersof the other sex has rendered me a sheepish cur, only one grain lessawkward than thyself. Then she was so very beautiful, and assumed anair of so much dignity, that I was like to fall under the fatal error ofsupposing she should only be addressed with something very clever; andin the hasty raking which my brains underwent in this persuasion, not asingle idea occurred that common sense did not reject as fustian on theone hand, or weary, flat, and stale triticism on the other. I felt asif my understanding were no longer my own, but was alternately under thedominion of Aldeborontiphoscophornio, and that of his facetious friendRigdum-Funnidos. How did I envy at that moment our friend Jack Oliver,who produces with such happy complacence his fardel of small talk, andwho, as he never doubts his own powers of affording amusement, passesthem current with every pretty woman he approaches, and fills up theintervals of chat by his complete acquaintance with the exercise of thefan, the FLACON, and the other duties of the CAVALIERE SERVENTE. Someof these I attempted, but I suppose it was awkwardly; at least the LadyGreen Mantle received them as a princess accepts the homage of a clown.
Meantime the floor remained empty, and as the mirth of the good meetingwas somewhat checked, I ventured, as a DERNIER RESSORT, to propose aminuet. She thanked me, and told me haughtily enough, 'she was hereto encourage the harmless pleasures of these good folks, but was notdisposed to make an exhibition of her own indifferent dancing for theiramusement.'
She paused a moment, as if she expected me to suggest something; and asI remained silent and rebuked, she bowed her head more graciously, andsaid, 'Not to affront you, however, a country-dance, if you please.'
What an ass was I, Alan, not to have anticipated her wishes! Should Inot have observed that the ill-favoured couple, Mabel and Cristal, hadplaced themselves on each side of her seat, like the supporters o
f theroyal arms? the man, thick, short, shaggy, and hirsute, as the lion; thefemale, skin-dried, tight-laced, long, lean, and hungry-faced, like theunicorn. I ought to have recollected, that under the close inspectionof two such watchful salvages, our communication, while in repose, couldnot have been easy; that the period of dancing a minuet was not the verychoicest time for conversation; but that the noise, the exercise,and the mazy confusion of a country-dance, where the inexperiencedperformers were every now and then running against each other, andcompelling the other couples to stand still for a minute at a time,besides the more regular repose afforded by the intervals of the danceitself, gave the best possible openings for a word or two spoken inseason, and without being liable to observation.
We had but just led down, when an opportunity of the kind occurred, andmy partner said, with great gentleness and modesty, 'It is not perhapsvery proper in me to acknowledge an acquaintance that is not claimed;but I believe I speak to Mr. Darsie Latimer?'
'Darsie Latimer was indeed the person that had now the honour andhappiness'--
I would have gone on in the false gallop of compliment, but she cut meshort. 'And why,' she said, 'is Mr. Latimer here, and in disguise, or atleast assuming an office unworthy of a man of education?--I beg pardon,'she continued,--'I would not give you pain, but surely making, anassociate of a person of that description'--
She looked towards my friend Willie, and was silent. I felt heartilyashamed of myself, and hastened to say it was an idle frolic, which wantof occupation had suggested, and which I could not regret, since it hadprocured me the pleasure I at present enjoyed.
Without seeming to notice my compliment, she took the next opportunityto say, 'Will Mr. Latimer permit a stranger who wishes him well to ask,whether it is right that, at his active age, he should be in so far voidof occupation, as to be ready to adopt low society for the sake of idleamusement?'
'You are severe, madam,' I answered; 'but I cannot think myself degradedby mixing with any society where I meet'--
Here I stopped short, conscious that I was giving my answer anunhandsome turn. The ARGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM, the last to which a politeman has recourse, may, however, be justified by circumstances, butseldom or never the ARGUMENTUM AD FOEMINAM.
She filled up the blank herself which I had left. 'Where you meet ME, Isuppose you would say? But the case is different. I am, from my unhappyfate, obliged to move by the will of others, and to be in places whichI would by my own will gladly avoid. Besides, I am, except for these fewminutes, no participator of the revels--a spectator only, and attendedby my servants. Your situation is different--you are here by choice,the partaker and minister of the pleasures of a class below you ineducation, birth, and fortunes. If I speak harshly, Mr. Latimer,' sheadded, with much sweetness of manner, 'I mean kindly.'
I was confounded by her speech, 'severe in youthful wisdom'; allof naive or lively, suitable to such a dialogue, vanished from myrecollection, and I answered with gravity like her own, 'I am, indeed,better educated than these poor people; but you, madam, whose kindadmonition I am grateful for, must know more of my condition than Ido myself--I dare not say I am their superior in birth, since I knownothing of my own, or in fortunes, over which hangs an impenetrablecloud.'
'And why should your ignorance on these points drive you into lowsociety and idle habits?' answered my female monitor. 'Is it manly towait till fortune cast her beams upon you, when by exertion of your ownenergy you might distinguish yourself? Do not the pursuits of learninglie open to you--of manly ambition--of war? But no--not of war, that hasalready cost you too dear.'
'I will be what you wish me to be,' I replied with eagerness--'You havebut to choose my path, and you shall see if I do not pursue it withenergy, were it only because you command me.'
'Not because I command you,' said the maiden, 'but because reason,common sense, manhood, and, in one word, regard for your own safety,give the same counsel.'
'At least permit me to reply, that reason and sense never assumeda fairer form--of persuasion,' I hastily added; for she turned fromme--nor did she give me another opportunity of continuing what I hadto say till the next pause of the dance, when, determined to bring ourdialogue to a point, I said, 'You mentioned manhood also, and in thesame breath, personal danger. My ideas of manhood suggest that it iscowardice to retreat before dangers of a doubtful character. You, whoappear to know so much of my fortunes that I might call you my guardianangel, tell me what these dangers are, that I may judge whether manhoodcalls on me to face or to fly them.'
She was evidently perplexed by this appeal.
'You make me pay dearly for acting as your humane adviser,' she repliedat last: 'I acknowledge an interest in your fate, and yet I dare nottell you whence it arises; neither am I at liberty to say why, or fromwhom, you are in danger; but it is not less true that danger is nearand imminent. Ask me no more, but, for your own sake, begone from thiscountry. Elsewhere you are safe--here you do but invite your fate.'
'But am I doomed to bid thus farewell to almost the only human being whohas showed an interest in my welfare? Do not say so--say that we shallmeet again, and the hope shall be the leading star to regulate mycourse!'
'It is more than probable,' she said--'much more than probable, that wemay never meet again. The help which I now render you is all that may bein my power; it is such as I should render to a blind man whom I mightobserve approaching the verge of a precipice; it ought to excite nosurprise, and requires no gratitude.'
So saying, she again turned from me, nor did she address me until thedance was on the point of ending, when she said, 'Do not attempt tospeak to or approach me again in the course of the night; leave thecompany as soon as you can, but not abruptly, and God be with you.'
I handed her to her seat, and did not quit the fair palm I held, withoutexpressing my feelings by a gentle pressure. She coloured slightly, andwithdrew her hand, but not angrily. Seeing the eyes of Cristal and Mabelsternly fixed on me, I bowed deeply, and withdrew from her; my heartsaddening, and my eyes becoming dim in spite of me, as the shiftingcrowd hid us from each other.
It was my intention to have crept back to my comrade Willie, and resumedmy bow with such spirit as I might, although, at the moment, I wouldhave given half my income for an instant's solitude. But my retreat wascut off by Dame Martin, with the frankness--if it is not an inconsistentphrase-of rustic coquetry, that goes straight up to the point.
'Aye, lad, ye seem unco sune weary, to dance sae lightly? Better the nagthat ambles a' the day, than him that makes a brattle for a mile, andthen's dune wi' the road.'
This was a fair challenge, and I could not decline accepting it.Besides, I could see Dame Martin was queen of the revels; and so manywere the rude and singular figures about me, that I was by no meanscertain whether I might not need some protection. I seized on herwilling hand, and we took our places in the dance, where, if I did notacquit myself with all the accuracy of step and movement which I hadbefore attempted, I at least came up to the expectations of my partner,who said, and almost swore, 'I was prime at it;' while, stimulatedto her utmost exertions, she herself frisked like a kid, snapped herfingers like castanets, whooped like a Bacchanal, and bounded from thefloor like a tennis-ball,--aye, till the colour of her garters was noparticular mystery. She made the less secret of this, perhaps, that theywere sky-blue, and fringed with silver.
The time has been that this would have been special fun; or rather, lastnight was the only time I can recollect these four years when it wouldnot have been so; yet, at this moment, I cannot tell you how I longedto be rid of Dame Martin. I almost wished she would sprain one of those'many-twinkling' ankles, which served her so alertly; and when, in themidst of her exuberant caprioling, I saw my former partner leavingthe apartment, and with eyes, as I thought, turning towards me, thisunwillingness to carry on the dance increased to such a point, that Iwas almost about to feign a sprain or a dislocation myself, in order toput an end to the performance. But there were around me scores of oldwomen, all of
whom looked as if they might have some sovereign recipefor such an accident; and, remembering Gil Blas, and his pretendeddisorder in the robber's cavern, I thought it as wise to play DameMartin fair, and dance till she thought proper to dismiss me. What I didI resolved to do strenuously, and in the latter part of the exhibitionI cut and sprang from the floor as high and as perpendicularly as DameMartin herself; and received, I promise you, thunders of applause, forthe common people always prefer exertion and agility to grace. At lengthDame Martin could dance no more, and, rejoicing at my release, I led herto a seat, and took the privilege of a partner to attend her.
'Hegh, sirs,' exclaimed Dame Martin, 'I am sair forfoughen! Troth!callant, I think ye hae been amaist the death o' me.'
I could only atone for the alleged offence by fetching her somerefreshment, of which she readily partook.
'I have been lucky in my partners,' I said, 'first that pretty younglady, and then you, Mrs. Martin.'
'Hout wi' your fleeching,' said Dame Martin. 'Gae wa--gae wa, lad; dinnablaw in folk's lugs that gate; me and Miss Lilias even'd thegither! Na,na, lad--od, she is maybe four or five years younger than the like o'me,--bye and attour her gentle havings.'
'She is the laird's daughter?' said I, in as careless a tone of inquiryas I could assume.
'His daughter, man? Na, na, only his niece--and sib aneugh to him, Ithink.'
'Aye, indeed,' I replied; 'I thought she had borne his name?'
'She bears her ain name, and that's Lilias.'
'And has she no other name?' asked I.
'What needs she another till she gets a gudeman?' answered my Thetis,a little miffed perhaps--to use the women's phrase--that I turnedthe conversation upon my former partner, rather than addressed it toherself.
There was a little pause, which was interrupted by Dame Martinobserving, 'They are standing up again.'
'True,' said I, having no mind to renew my late violent CAPRIOLE, and Imust go help old Willie.'
Ere I could extricate myself, I heard poor Thetis address herself toa sort of merman in a jacket of seaman's blue, and a pair of trousers(whose hand, by the way, she had rejected at an earlier part of theevening) and intimate that she was now disposed to take a trip.
'Trip away, then, dearie,' said the vindictive man of the waters,without offering his hand; 'there,' pointing to the floor, 'is a roomyberth for you.'
Certain I had made one enemy, and perhaps two, I hastened to my originalseat beside Willie, and began to handle my bow. But I could see that myconduct had made an unfavourable impression; the words, 'flory conceitedchap,'--'hafflins gentle,' and at length, the still more alarmingepithet of 'spy,' began to be buzzed about, and I was heartily glad whenthe apparition of Sam's visage at the door, who was already possessed ofand draining a can of punch, gave me assurance that my means of retreatwere at hand. I intimated as much to Willie, who probably had heardmore of the murmurs of the company than I had, for he whispered, 'Aye,aye,--awa wi' ye--ower lang here--slide out canny--dinna let them see yeare on the tramp.'
I slipped half a guinea into the old man's hand, who answered, 'Trutspruts! nonsense but I 'se no refuse, trusting ye can afford it. Awa wi'ye--and if ony body stops ye, cry on me.'
I glided, by his advice, along the room as if looking for a partner,joined Sam, whom I disengaged with some difficulty from his can, andwe left the cottage together in a manner to attract the least possibleobservation. The horses were tied in a neighbouring shed, and asthe moon was up, and I was now familiar with the road, broken andcomplicated as it is, we soon reached the Shepherd's Bush, where the oldlandlady was sitting up waiting for us, under some anxiety of mind, toaccount for which she did not hesitate to tell me that some folks hadgone to Brokenburn from her house, or neighbouring towns, that did notcome so safe back again. 'Wandering Willie,' she said, 'was doubtless akind of protection.'
Here Willie's wife, who was smoking in the chimney corner, took up thepraises of her 'hinnie,' as she called him, and endeavoured to awakenmy generosity afresh, by describing the dangers from which, as she waspleased to allege, her husband's countenance had assuredly been themeans of preserving me. I was not, however, to be fooled out ofmore money at this time, and went to bed in haste, full of vanouscogitations.
I have since spent a couple of days betwixt Mount Sharon and this place,and betwixt reading, writing to thee this momentous history, formingplans for seeing the lovely Lilias, and--partly, I think, for the sakeof contradiction--angling a little in spite of Joshua'a scruples--thoughI am rather liking the amusement better as I begin to have some successin it.
And now, my dearest Alan, you are in full possession of my secret--letme as frankly into the recesses of your bosom. How do you feel towardsthis fair ignis fatuus, this lily of the desert? Tell me honestly; forhowever the recollection of her may haunt my own mind, my love for AlanFairford surpasses the love of woman, I know, too, that when you DOlove, it will be to
Love once and love no more.
A deep-consuming passion, once kindled in a breast so steady as yours,would never be extinguished but with life. I am of another and morevolatile temper, and though I shall open your next with a trembling handand uncertain heart, yet let it bring a frank confession that this fairunknown has made a deeper impression on your gravity than you reckonedfor, and you will see I can tear the arrow from my own wound, barb andall. In the meantime, though I have formed schemes once more to see her,I will, you may rely on it, take no step for putting them into practice.I have refrained from this hitherto, and I give you my word of honour,I shall continue to do so; yet why should you need any further assurancefrom one who is so entirely yours as D.L.
PS.--I shall be on thorns till I receive your answer. I read, andre-read your letter, and cannot for my soul discover what your realsentiments are. Sometimes I think you write of her as one in jest--andsometimes I think that cannot be. Put me at ease as soon as possible.