LETTER II
ALAN FAIRFORD TO DARSIE LATIMER
NEGATUR, my dear Darsie--you have logic and law enough to understand theword of denial. I deny your conclusion. The premises I admit, namely,that when I mounted on that infernal hack, I might utter what seemeda sigh, although I deemed it lost amid the puffs and groans of thebroken-winded brute, matchless in the complication of her complaints byany save she, the poor man's mare, renowned in song, that died
A mile aboon Dundee.
[Alluding, as all Scotsmen know, to the humorous old song:--
'The auld man's mare's dead, The puir man's mare's dead, The auld man's mare's dead, A mile aboon Dundee.']
But credit me, Darsie, the sigh which escaped me, concerned thee morethan myself, and regarded neither the superior mettle of your cavalry,nor your greater command of the means of travelling. I could certainlyhave cheerfully ridden with you for a few days; and assure yourself Iwould not have hesitated to tax your better filled purse for our jointexpenses. But you know my father considers every moment taken from thelaw as a step down hill; and I owe much to his anxiety on my account,although its effects are sometimes troublesome. For example:
I found, on my arrival at the shop in Brown's Square, that the oldgentleman had returned that very evening, impatient, it seems, ofremaining a night out of the guardianship of the domestic Lares. Havingthis information from James, whose brow wore rather an anxious look onthe occasion, I dispatched a Highland chairman to the livery stable withmy Bucephalus, and slunk, with as little noise as might be, into my ownden, where I began to mumble certain half-gnawed and not half-digesteddoctrines of our municipal code. I was not long seated, when my father'svisage was thrust, in a peering sort of way, through the half-openeddoor; and withdrawn, on seeing my occupation, with a half-articulatedHUMPH! which seemed to convey a doubt of the seriousness of myapplication. If it were so, I cannot condemn him; for recollection ofthee occupied me so entirely during an hour's reading, that althoughStair lay before me, and notwithstanding that I turned over three orfour pages, the sense of his lordship's clear and perspicuous styleso far escaped me, that I had the mortification to find my labour wasutterly in vain.
Ere I had brought up my lee-way, James appeared with his summons to ourfrugal supper--radishes, cheese, and a bottle of the old ale-only twoplates though--and no chair set for Mr. Darsie, by the attentive JamesWilkinson. Said James, with his long face, lank hair, and very longpig-tail in its leathern strap, was placed, as usual, at the back ofmy father's chair, upright as a wooden sentinel at the door of apuppet-show. 'You may go down, James,' said my father; and exitWilkinson.--What is to come next? thought I; for the weather is notclear on the paternal brow.
My boots encountered his first glance of displeasure, and he asked me,with a sneer, which way I had been riding. He expected me to answer,'Nowhere,' and would then have been at me with his usual sarcasm,touching the humour of walking in shoes at twenty shillings a pair. ButI answered with composure, that I had ridden out to dinner as far asNoble House. He started (you know his way) as if I had said that Ihad dined at Jericho; and as I did not choose to seem to observe hissurprise, but continued munching my radishes in tranquillity, he brokeforth in ire.
'To Noble House, sir! and what had you to do at Noble House, sir? Doyou remember you are studying law, sir?--that your Scots law trials arecoming on, sir?--that every moment of your time just now is worth hoursat another time?--and have you leisure to go to Noble House, sir?--andto throw your books behind you for so many hours?--Had it been a turn inthe meadows, or even a game at golf--but Noble House, sir!'
'I went so far with Darsie Latimer, sir, to see him begin his journey.'
'Darsie Latimer?' he replied in a softened tone--'Humph!--Well, I do notblame you for being kind to Darsie Latimer; but it would have done asmuch good if you had walked with him as far as the toll-bar, and thenmade your farewells--it would have saved horse-hire--and your reckoning,too, at dinner.'
'Latimer paid that, sir,' I replied, thinking to soften the matter; butI had much better have left it unspoken.
'The reckoning, sir!' replied my father. 'And did you sponge upon anyman for a reckoning? Sir, no man should enter the door of a public-housewithout paying his lawing.'
'I admit the general rule, sir,' I replied; 'but this was a parting-cupbetween Darsie and me; and I should conceive it fell under the exceptionof DOCH AN DORROCH.'
'You think yourself a wit,' said my father, with as near an approach toa smile as ever he permits to gild the solemnity of his features; 'butI reckon you did not eat your dinner standing, like the Jews at theirPassover? and it was decided in a case before the town-bailies ofCupar-Angus, when Luckie Simpson's cow had drunk up Luckie Jamieson'sbrowst of ale while it stood in the door to cool, that there was nodamage to pay, because the crummie drank without sitting down; suchbeing the very circumstance constituting DOCH AN DORROCH, which is astanding drink, for which no reckoning is paid. Ha, sir! what says youradvocateship (FIERI) to that? EXEPTIO FIRMAT REGULAM--But come, fillyour glass, Alan; I am not sorry ye have shown this attention to DarsieLatimer, who is a good lad, as times go; and having now lived under myroof since he left the school, why, there is really no great matter incoming under this small obligation to him.'
As I saw my father's scruples were much softened by the consciousness ofhis superiority in the legal argument, I took care to accept my pardonas a matter of grace, rather than of justice; and only replied, weshould feel ourselves duller of an evening, now that you were absent. Iwill give you my father's exact words in reply, Darsie. You know him sowell, that they will not offend you; and you are also aware, that theremingles with the good man's preciseness and formality, a fund of shrewdobservation and practical good sense.
'It is very true,' he said; 'Darsie was a pleasant companion-but overwaggish, over waggish, Alan, and somewhat scatter-brained.--By the way,Wilkinson must get our ale bottled in English pints now, for a quartbottle is too much, night after night, for you and me, without hisassistance.--But Darsie, as I was saying, is an arch lad, and somewhatlight in the upper story--I wish him well through the world; but he haslittle solidity, Alan, little solidity.'
I scorn to desert an absent friend, Darsie, so I said for you a littlemore than my conscience warranted: but your defection from your legalstudies had driven you far to leeward in my father's good opinion.
'Unstable as water, he shall not excel,' said my father; 'or, as theSeptuagint hath it, EFUSA EST SICUT AQUA--NON CRESCAT. He goeth todancing-houses, and readeth novels--SAT EST.'
I endeavoured to parry these texts by observing, that the dancing-housesamounted only to one night at La Pique's ball--the novels (so far asmatter of notoriety, Darsie) to an odd volume of TOM JONES.
'But he danced from night to morning,' replied my father, 'and he readthe idle trash, which the author should have been scourged for, at leasttwenty times over. It was never out of his hand.'
I then hinted, that in all probability your fortune was now so easy asto dispense with your prosecuting the law any further than you had done;and therefore you might think you had some title to amuse yourself. Thiswas the least palatable argument of all.
'If he cannot amuse himself with the law,' said my father, snappishly'it is the worse for him. If he needs not law to teach him to make afortune, I am sure he needs it to teach him how to keep one; and itwould better become him to be learning this, than to be scouring thecountry like a land-louper, going he knows not where, to see he knowsnot what, and giving treats at Noble House to fools like himself' (anangry glance at poor me), 'Noble House, indeed!' he repeated, withelevated voice and sneering tone, as if there were something offensiveto him in the name, though I will venture to say that any place in whichyou had been extravagant enough to spend five shillings, would havestood as deep in his reprobation.
Mindful of your idea, that my father knows more of your real situationthan he thinks proper to mention, I thought I would hazard a fishingobservation. 'I did not
see,' I said, 'how the Scottish law would beuseful to a young gentleman whose fortune would seem to be vested inEngland.'--I really thought my father would have beat me.
'D'ye mean to come round me, sir, PER AMBAGES, as Counsellor Pest says?What is it to you where Darsie Latimer's fortune is vested, or whetherhe hath any fortune, aye or no? And what ill would the Scottish law doto him, though he had as much of it as either Stair or Bankton, sir? Isnot the foundation of our municipal law the ancient code of the RomanEmpire, devised at a time when it was so much renowned for its civilpolity, sir, and wisdom? Go to your bed, sir, after your expedition toNoble House, and see that your lamp be burning and your book before youere the sun peeps. ARS LONGA, VITA BREVIS--were it not a sin to call thedivine science of the law by the inferior name of art.'
So my lamp did burn, dear Darsie, the next morning, though the ownertook the risk of a domiciliary visitation, and lay snug in bed, trustingits glimmer might, without further inquiry, be received as sufficientevidence of his vigilance. And now, upon this the third morning afteryour departure, things are but little better; for though the lamp burnsin my den, and VOET ON THE PANDECTS hath his wisdom spread open beforeme, yet as I only use him as a reading-desk on which to scribble thissheet of nonsense to Darsie Latimer, it is probable the vicinity will beof little furtherance to my studies.
And now, methinks, I hear thee call me an affected hypocritical varlet,who, living under such a system of distrust and restraint as my fatherchooses to govern by, nevertheless pretends not to envy you your freedomand independence.
Latimer, I will tell you no lies. I wish my father would allow me alittle more exercise of my free will, were it but that I might feel thepleasure of doing what would please him of my own accord. A little morespare time, and a little more money to enjoy it, would, besides, neithermisbecome my age nor my condition; and it is, I own, provoking to see somany in the same situation winging the air at freedom, while I sit here,caged up like a cobbler's linnet, to chant the same unvaried lessonfrom sunrise to sunset, not to mention the listening to so many lecturesagainst idleness, as if I enjoyed or was making use of the means ofamusement! But then I cannot at heart blame either the motive or theobject of this severity. For the motive, it is and can only be myfather's anxious, devoted, and unremitting affection and zeal for myimprovement, with a laudable sense of the honour of the profession towhich he has trained me.
As we have no near relations, the tie betwixt us is of even unusualcloseness, though in itself one of the strongest which nature can form.I am, and have all along been, the exclusive object of my father'sanxious hopes, and his still more anxious and engrossing fears; so whattitle have I to complain, although now and then these fears and hopeslead him to take a troublesome and incessant charge of all my motions?Besides, I ought to recollect, and, Darsie, I do recollect, that myfather upon various occasions, has shown that he can be indulgent aswell as strict. The leaving his old apartments in the Luckenbooths wasto him like divorcing the soul from the body; yet Dr. R---- did buthint that the better air of this new district was more favourable tomy health, as I was then suffering under the penalties of too rapid agrowth, when he exchanged his old and beloved quarters, adjacent to thevery Heart of Midlothian, for one of those new tenements (entire withinthemselves) which modern taste has so lately introduced. Instance alsothe inestimable favour which he conferred on me by receiving you intohis house, when you had only the unpleasant alternative of remaining,though a grown-up lad, in the society of mere boys. [The diminutive andobscure place called Brown's Square, was hailed about the time of itserection as an extremely elegant improvement upon the style of designingand erecting Edinburgh residences. Each house was, in the phrase usedby appraisers, 'finished within itself,' or, in the still newerphraseology, 'self-contained.' It was built about the year 1763-4; andthe old part of the city being near and accessible, this square soonreceived many inhabitants, who ventured to remove to so moderate adistance from the High Street.] This was a thing so contrary to all myfather's ideas of seclusion, of economy, and of the safety to my moralsand industry, which he wished to attain, by preserving me from thesociety of other young people, that, upon my word, I am always ratherastonished how I should have had the impudence to make the request, thanthat he should have complied with it.
Then for the object of his solicitude--Do not laugh, or hold up yourhands, my good Darsie; but upon my word I like the profession to whichI am in the course of being educated, and am serious in prosecuting thepreliminary studies. The law is my vocation--in an especial, and, Imay say, in an hereditary way, my vocation; for although I have not thehonour to belong to any of the great families who form in Scotland, asin France, the noblesse of the robe, and with us, at least, carry theirheads as high, or rather higher, than the noblesse of the sword,--forthe former consist more frequently of the 'first-born of Egypt,'--yetmy grandfather, who, I dare say, was a most excellent person, had thehonour to sign a bitter protest against the Union, in the respectablecharacter of town-clerk to the ancient Borough of Birlthegroat; andthere is some reason--shall I say to hope, or to suspect?--that he mayhave been a natural son of a first cousin of the then Fairford of thatIlk, who had been long numbered among the minor barons. Now my fathermounted a step higher on the ladder of legal promotion, being, as youknow as well as I do, an eminent and respected Writer to his Majesty'sSignet; and I myself am destined to mount a round higher still, and wearthe honoured robe which is sometimes supposed, like Charity, to covera multitude of sins. I have, therefore, no choice but to climb upwards;since we have mounted thus high, or else to fall down at the imminentrisk of my neck. So that I reconcile myself to my destiny; and whileyou, are looking from mountain peaks, at distant lakes and firths, I am,DE APICIBUS JURIS, consoling myself with visions of crimson and scarletgowns--with the appendages of handsome cowls, well lined with salary.
You smile, Darsie, MORE TUO, and seem to say it is little worth while tocozen one's self with such vulgar dreams; yours being, on the contrary,of a high and heroic character, bearing the same resemblance to mine,that a bench, covered with purple cloth and plentifully loaded withsession papers, does to some Gothic throne, rough with barbaric pearland gold. But what would you have?--SUA QUEMQUE TRAHIT VOLUPTAS. And myvisions of preferment, though they may be as unsubstantial at present,are nevertheless more capable of being realized, than your aspirationsafter the Lord knows what. What says my father's proverb? 'Look to agown of gold, and you will at least get a sleeve of it.' Such is mypursuit; but what dost thou look to? The chance that the mystery, asyou call it, which at present overclouds your birth and connexions, willclear up into something inexpressibly and inconceivably brilliant;and this without any effort or exertion of your own, but purely by thegoodwill of Fortune. I know the pride and naughtiness of thy heart, andsincerely do I wish that thou hadst more beatings to thank me for, thanthose which thou dost acknowledge so gratefully. Then had I thumpedthese Quixotical expectations out of thee, and thou hadst not, asnow, conceived thyself to be the hero of some romantic history, andconverted, in thy vain imaginations, honest Griffiths, citizen andbroker, who never bestows more than the needful upon his quarterlyepistles, into some wise Alexander or sage Alquife, the mystical andmagical protector of thy peerless destiny. But I know not how it was,thy skull got harder, I think, and my knuckles became softer; not tomention that at length thou didst begin to show about thee a spark ofsomething dangerous, which I was bound to respect at least, if I did notfear it.
And while I speak of this, it is not much amiss to advise thee tocorrect a little this cock-a-hoop courage of thine. I fear much that,like a hot-mettled horse, it will carry the owner into some scrape, outof which he will find it difficult to extricate himself, especially ifthe daring spirit which bore thee thither should chance to fail theeat a pinch. Remember, Darsie, thou art not naturally courageous; onthe contrary, we have long since agreed that, quiet as I am, I have theadvantage in this important particular. My courage consists, I think,in strength of nerves and constitutional
indifference to danger; which,though it never pushes me on adventure, secures me in full use ofmy recollection, and tolerably complete self-possession, when dangeractually arrives. Now, thine seems more what may be called intellectualcourage; highness of spirit, and desire of distinction; impulses whichrender thee alive to the love of fame, and deaf to the apprehension ofdanger, until it forces itself suddenly upon thee. I own that, whetherit is from my having caught my father's apprehensions, or that I havereason to entertain doubts of my own, I often think that this wildfirechase of romantic situation and adventure may lead thee into somemischief; and then what would become of Alan Fairford? They might makewhom they pleased Lord Advocate or Solicitor-General, I should neverhave the heart to strive for it. All my exertions are intended toVindicate myself one day in your eyes; and I think I should not carea farthing for the embroidered silk gown, more than for an old woman'sapron, unless I had hopes that thou shouldst be walking the boards toadmire, and perhaps to envy me.
That this may be the case, I prithee--beware! See not a Dulcinea, inevery slipshod girl, who, with blue eyes, fair hair, a tattered plaid,and a willow-wand in her grip, drives out the village cows to theloaning. Do not think you will meet a gallant Valentine in every Englishrider, or an Orson in every Highland drover. View things as they are,and not as they may be magnified through thy teeming fancy. I have seenthee look at an old gravel pit, till thou madest out capes, and bays,and inlets, crags and precipices, and the whole stupendous scenery ofthe Isle of Feroe, in what was, to all ordinary eyes, a mere horse-pond.Besides, did I not once find thee gazing with respect at a lizard, inthe attitude of one who looks upon a crocodile? Now this is, doubtless,so far a harmless exercise of your imagination; for the puddle cannotdrown you, nor the Lilliputian alligator eat you up. But it is differentin society, where you cannot mistake the character of those you conversewith, or suffer your fancy to exaggerate their qualities, good or bad,without exposing yourself not only to ridicule, but to great and seriousinconveniences. Keep guard, therefore, on your imagination, my dearDarsie; and let your old friend assure you, it is the point of yourcharacter most pregnant with peril to its good and generous owner.Adieu! let not the franks of the worthy peer remain unemployed; aboveall, SIS MEMOR MEI. A. F.