22
A few moments later we were back in the Shadowlands castle. After all the gold, silver, and glass of the Underworld, the unfriendly stone walls and dark interior were a strange relief. I turned to look at Michael.
“We made it,” I said.
“We did.”
Then he kissed me so passionately it took my breath away. He held his hand over his amulet so it wouldn’t electrocute me, which I totally appreciated.
I smiled up at him when we parted. “What was that for?”
“Thanks for rescuing me from the dungeon.”
“Well, you rescued me right back. Actually, twice. Will you take an IOU?”
“I … I can’t believe that happened. The hellhound, the … the Shadow.” He sighed. “And I really believed Kassandra when she said you were giving me to her.”
“It wasn’t true. Of course it wasn’t true.”
“I know that now.” His expression grew haunted. “I’ve never met another Shadow before.”
“And now you have.” I pressed my palm against his chest, just shy of touching the green stone amulet that blazed with power. “What you did to him—”
“Had to be done,” he said, cutting me off. “He was trying to hurt you. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“So you weren’t tempted, even a little, to join his rebellion against demons?”
“I know right from wrong, and what Jonas was doing—hurting others on his path to change—was wrong.”
“He killed Rhys’s parents.”
“I know.” Michael’s eyes flashed. “He was too dangerous. I don’t think change has to be achieved by hurting or killing others. Self-defense, however, is another matter.”
I threaded my fingers through his dark hair. “I totally agree.” I kissed him again and felt him smile against my lips. “What?”
“You do realize there’s no mistletoe here.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really care.”
“Good answer.”
I heard somebody clear his throat behind us, and I froze before moving back from Michael. I turned to see my father leaning against the doorway.
Had he seen us kissing? Then again, how could he have possibly missed it?
Instead of denying it, I reached down and grabbed Michael’s hand. My father’s gaze moved to the defiant gesture before coming back to my face.
“Did the meeting with the demon council go well?” he asked.
Was he really going to ignore the kiss?
::Why are you still holding my hand?:: Michael asked.
Because I want to.
::You’re sure about that?::
Never been more sure about anything.
“It didn’t go as well as I hoped it would,” I said.
My father frowned. “What do you mean?”
“There was a problem, Your Majesty,” Michael said.
“A problem?” Again he glanced at my hand holding Michael’s.
“Yes.” Michael took the liberty of explaining everything to my father—and he did so much more concisely than I ever could have hoped to—starting with Elizabeth meeting us at the gateway, the hellhound attack, and finally what happened in the dungeon with Jonas.
My father’s expression grew darker with every word Michael spoke.
“I can’t believe this,” my father said quietly.
“I know I shouldn’t have used my powers. It’s against the rules.”
“And if you hadn’t broken them, my daughter would be dead.” My father looked at Michael intently.
“Kieran also tried to blackmail me,” I added. “He wanted my dragon’s tear bracelet. When I wouldn’t give it to him, he tried to kill me. Princess Kassandra saved me.”
My father’s eyes grew very large, anger eating away at him until he couldn’t contain it. He shifted to his demon form right before our eyes.
My father’s demon form was the scariest and most fearsome of any I’d seen. His coal black skin and large curved horns were intimidating, to say the least. His body got bigger and more muscular, his talons sharp as knives. I wondered, not for the first time, what my mother would think if she saw him like this.
“I will destroy him.” His demon voice was deeper, raspier, and much more ominous than his human one.
“No, you won’t,” I said firmly. “He’d love to get you all riled up like this. It would give him the chance to try to kill you personally.”
“As if he could.”
“Besides, you can’t leave the castle.”
“I can if I’m motivated enough.” His fists clenched. “I knew you shouldn’t have gone to the Underworld.” His red eyes moved to Michael. “You …”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” Michael tensed, but he stood his ground.
My father’s chest heaved with a deep breath. “Thank you for protecting my daughter when I could not. I knew I had chosen well when I assigned you to her.” He shot another unhappy glance at our hand holding, but seemed bound and determined to ignore it. “I just didn’t know how well.”
“Dad,” I began, “Michael and I—”
“I’m sorry you had to deal with such adversity today.” My father cut me off as he slowly changed back to human form. “If I could have done anything to prevent the distress you’ve experienced, I would have. Please go and take care of your mother for me. I want both of you safe.”
I held back what I wanted to tell him. He was making it wordlessly clear that, despite his forgiving Michael for breaking the rules to save my life, some rules still applied. At least that was the impression I was getting. Michael could save my life, but he still couldn’t be my boyfriend.
“Do you promise not to go after Kieran?” I asked.
He pressed his lips together and didn’t reply.
“Promise me,” I said again. “I won’t leave until you do.”
He finally nodded. “I promise, Nikki. I won’t abandon my kingdom to seek revenge on the demon prince. However I will be speaking to Queen Sephina by gazer the moment you leave.”
That was about as good a promise as I was going to get.
“Okay, good. Oh, by the way, Florencia thinks I have your wings. I think she meant it as a compliment.”
He cringed. “Florencia. I haven’t thought of her in years.”
“I don’t think she feels the same. She might still be available if you’re interested.”
He looked at me. “I will assume you’re not being serious.”
“Of course not.” I smiled. “Because that would totally get in the way of you and my mom getting back together.”
“Nikki … ,” he began, crossing his arms. “I’ve told you why that’s not possible, but you continue to ignore me.”
“I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic. I think when you really care about somebody, rules shouldn’t matter, even the ones we make for ourselves.” It was similar to what Elizabeth had said before I’d left the Underworld. For a crazy evil aunt, she was surprisingly insightful.
“That is a very dangerous attitude to have.” He swept my blonde hair back behind my shoulder. “You remind me so much of myself when I was your age.”
I’d have taken that as a compliment if I didn’t hear so much sadness and regret in his voice. I knew it hurt him to keep talking about this, about my mother, so all I did was give him a tight hug before saying good-bye.
Michael and I left the castle, passing a few servants as we went, and we walked back to the bright, grassy clearing between the Shadowlands and the forest leading into the faery realm.
The gateway to the human world shimmered, a door-size swirling kaleidoscope of color.
“So now what happens?” Michael asked.
“Now I go home. My mother is probably wondering where I am. How long ago did I leave Melinda’s party?” I glanced down at my watch for the first time since our adventure began. “Don’t tell me it’s only been three hours. How is that even remotely possible?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Time flies when you’re having fun?”
“Yeah. So much fun.” I pulled him through the gateway with me, then was reminded the moment I set foot in the human world that it was a week before Christmas and freezing cold outside. “Great. I left my coat in the castle. I guess I’ve been kind of distracted.”
“Here.” He unzipped his blue sweatshirt and draped it over my shoulders. “The cold doesn’t bother me.”
I felt warmer already. “Thanks.”
We made it back to my house. The front light was blazing. Mom was probably inside, watching a movie and waiting to hear the details about my night out.
Michael had been quiet the whole walk here. I turned to him when we reached the big oak tree at the bottom of our front yard.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He swallowed. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. What I … what I did to Jonas. To the hellhound, too.”
“You mean when you stopped them from killing me? I’m very much okay with that.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid,” I said. “Seriously. Do I look afraid to you?”
He searched my face. “Not really. You look … uh, kind of cold still.”
“If I was scared, would I do this?” I grabbed his hand, put it over his amulet, then kissed him hard on his lips, going up on my tiptoes to do so.
He laughed a little. “I guess not.”
“So there you go.”
“Your father saw us kiss and he didn’t look happy about it.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“But he didn’t say anything.”
“Not in so many words. I think he’s officially in denial that, despite all the rules and warnings, his half-demon daughter is … um, that she really likes a Shadow.”
I almost, almost said “falling in love with.” But I’d only known Michael less than two weeks. I liked him very, very much, but was I falling in love with him? So quickly?
The thought made my heart pick up its pace big-time and, despite the cold, I felt my cheeks flush.
“I think I finally understand why you broke up with me the other day,” he said. “You were doing it to protect me, weren’t you?”
“You’re only realizing that now?”
His lips quirked. “I guess Kassandra was right when she said I wasn’t too bright.”
“She also said you were a hottie.”
He shook his head, amused by this. “High praise from a demon princess.”
“Don’t get any ideas. She almost always gets what she wants, you know. I’d prefer it didn’t include you.”
His smile faded at the edges. “You were right to end things with me. I see that now. And not just for my protection, for yours as well. The rules—”
I shook my head. “I don’t care about the rules or what my father might think.”
“Yes, you do care. And you should. We’ve both seen firsthand what breaking them can lead to.”
“Rules can bend,” I said firmly. “And they can change.”
He nodded. “I never thought so before, but now I think you might be right about that. Maybe not today, but someday. Until then, though, we need to be careful.”
“Agreed. Careful is the way to be. But one thing I’ve learned from this experience, and from Queen Sephina of all people, is that there are shades of gray for everything. Including us.”
“So that means that we’re not together, but …”
“But we’re not not together.”
“That doesn’t even make any sense.”
“Trust me, it totally does.”
He grinned. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
Shades of gray. It made me think of how Michael looked in complete Shadow form, able to drain all the energy of another living creature like Jonas had. The horrible thought twisted my stomach into knots.
“Try to forget what happened today,” Michael said quietly. “Tomorrow will be better.”
Forget what happened? As if that was even possible.
“Promise?” I asked.
“I promise.”
“Good night, Princess.”
“Good night, Michael.”
He smiled, then turned and began walking away. He hadn’t asked for his sweatshirt back, so I kept it, pulling it tighter around me to keep out the cold night.
I’d seen what a Shadow could really do. The reason demons were forbidden to like Shadows as more than servants was the risk of getting too close and becoming an energy meal. It was the reason some demons feared them—at least, the ones who knew what Shadows were truly capable of.
If he wanted to, Michael could be more powerful than any demon. After all, how could you fight something that didn’t have solid form?
I thought of the second prophecy Irena had told me about—of the darkness that followed me, that wanted to devour me—and of Chris’s drawing showing that darkness beginning to obliterate me from view.
It probably had been Jonas’s shadow they’d both seen. He’d almost killed me, after all.
It wasn’t Michael.
I knew he’d never hurt me. Not in a million years.
Even though I believed that completely, I still had a really hard time getting to sleep that night. And when I did, the nightmares arrived right on schedule.
23
I took all of Sunday to recover from my trip to the Underworld, barely even getting out of bed. I woke up on Monday morning with a clear head and a new purpose.
I wouldn’t hide from my problems anymore. I’d face them—all of them—head-on.
My first problem was my mom. I’d decided to tell her, once and for all, that I’d been in contact with my father.
I’d say something along the lines of, “Dad contacted me and I’m positive he still loves you. How do you feel about that?” rather than, “My father’s a demon and, FYI, that makes me half demon. If you’re interested in seeing him again, you’ll have to be supercareful because there are all these stupid rules, and I don’t want you to get yourself killed.”
That might freak her out too much or cause her to enroll me in the nearest insane asylum. Therefore, baby steps.
It would be enough to see if there really was any hope there. Hope worth fighting for.
“Hey, Mom, I need to talk to you.” I cautiously approached her at the kitchen table. Bright sunlight shone through the window that looked over the snow-covered front lawn and driveway.
“Nikki.” She put her newspaper down. “I need to talk to you, too.”
“Oh? About what?”
“Sit down.”
I tensed. “What’s wrong?”
She cleared her throat. “You want me to be happy, right?”
“Happy? Of course I do. Listen, if this is about what happened last week, I’m really sorry. I’m over my drama, and I won’t be taking off to the mall alone anymore without telling you.”
“Well … good. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
I frowned. “Okay, then what is it?”
She fiddled with the edge of the newspaper. “I know it might seem like I don’t have very good taste in men, but … well, maybe I don’t. But sometimes things happen for a reason.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I just don’t want you to hear it from somewhere else. It’s about Nathan, your biology teacher.”
“What about him?”
“He wants to see me again. Regularly. But I don’t want this to be awkward for you.”
A lump had quickly formed in my throat. “You like him?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’re officially dating him.”
“I knew you might object—with him being a teacher at your school and with it being so close to my upcoming divorce from Robert—but, I know deep down in my heart … that there’s someone out there for me.” She sighed. “And if I stop looking, stop hoping, then I might never find him.”
My throat tightened. “Oh. And you think that’s Na
than … er, I mean, Mr. Crane?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.” She grabbed my hands in hers. “This doesn’t mean that the two of us can’t still have fun together. It’s not like Nathan and I are eloping or anything. We’re just dating. But … but can you at least try to understand?”
I didn’t answer, instead crossing my arms and chewing my bottom lip.
“What is it?” she asked. “If there’s something you want to say, just say it.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. “No … I … it’s nothing. I think you should date whoever you want without worrying what I think of it.”
She smiled. “Thank you, honey. Maybe we can both have wonderful new boyfriends after our bad experiences. Me and Nathan, you and … what was his name? Rhys? He’s a real cutie-pie.”
“I need to get to school.” I grabbed my backpack, disappointment thudding through me.
“What about breakfast?”
“I’ll … I’ll grab something there.” I paused. “I do want you to be happy, Mom. Seriously. Whatever it takes. I love you.”
“I love you, too, honey.” She hugged me tightly. “Now hurry up and get to school.”
Without another word I was out of there. She hadn’t even given me a chance to mention my father. Was this a big fat sign I shouldn’t ever say anything to her?
Maybe I was being selfish wanting my parents to get together after all this time. Maybe it would have been wrong to tell Mom about my father today. I’d wait and see what happened with Mr. Crane.
I shuddered. I couldn’t believe she was going to date one of my teachers.
“Good morning, Princess.” Michael came out of nowhere and began to keep pace with me. I hadn’t even seen him appear.
I looked at him with equal parts surprise and happiness. “Why are you here?”
He glanced at me sideways, giving me a half smile.
“I mean,” I began again, “good morning to you, too. Uh, why are you here?”
His eyes were almost as bright green as they’d been on Saturday night. “Your father wanted me to let you know he’s spoken directly with Queen Sephina, and she’s promised Prince Kieran will be punished severely for what he attempted to do.”
“Really? Punished how?”
“He’s being sent to Hell to inspect and report on all the dungeons there. I hear there are thousands of them. He can’t leave until he finishes. I’m thinking it’ll take him decades.”